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a  I  B  R.ARY 

OF   THL 
U  N  IVLRSITY 
Of    ILLINOIS 

6)25 

WG75S 

V.  \ 


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SHAKSPEARE 


AND 


HIS  FRIENDS; 


OR,  "THE  GOLDEN  AGE"  OF  MERRY  ENGLAND. 


His  life  was  gentle,  and  the  elements 

So  mixed  in  him,  that  Nature  might  stand  up, 

And  say  to  all  the  world — This  was  a  man! 

Julius  CiESAK. 

He  was  not  of  an  age,  but  for  all  time. 

Ben  Jonson. 


IN  THREE  VOLUMES. 
VOL.   I. 


PHILADELPHIA: 
LEA    AND    BLANCHARD, 

SUCCESSORS  TO  CAREY  AND  CO. 

1839. 


?.-' 


1 


^ 


11/ L7^^ 


TO 

THE  ADMIRERS 
OF 

«'  j^lonfe^Cong'ti  Sfjaitspearc," 

AND  OF  THE  OTHER  ILLUSTRIOUS  SPIRITS  OF 

THE  GOLDEN  AGE  OF  ENGLAND, 

/I  THESE  VOLUMES, 

^  WITH    TRUE    HUMBLENESS, 

,ji  AND  ENTIRE  DKVOTEDNESS  TO  THE  SUBJECT, 

Q1  ARE  RESPECTFULLY  INSCRIBED, 

BY 
-'  THEIR  FELLOW- WORSHIPPER, 

AND  VERY  OBEDIENT  SERVANT, 

v.  THE  AUTHOR. 


I  I  14246 


J^erc  kflfnnetf)  t~\)t  Sfovu  of 

SHAKSPEARE  AND  HIS  FRIENDS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

With  mirth  and  laughter  let  old  wrinkles  come, 
And  let  my  liver  rather  heat  with  wine  ^ 

Than  my  heart  cool  with  mortifying  groans. 
"Why  should  a  man  whose  blood  is  warm  within 
Sit  like  liis  grandsire  cut  in  alabaster? 
Sleep  when  he  wakes? — and  creep  into  the  jaundice 
By  being  peevish? 

Shakspeake. 

Soul  of  the  age! 

Til'  applause,  dehght, — the  wonder  of  our  stage! 
My  Shakspeare,  rise! 

Bei?  Joxso?r. 

I  PRYTHEE  have  patience,  courteous  reader !  the  whilst  I 
describe  a  certain  chamber  well  worthy  of  most  minute 
delineation — as  thou  wilt  see  anon — from  its  having  been 
the  retreat,  or  closet,  or  place  retired  from  the  public  eye,  in 
which  t!ie  master  spirit  of  his  age,  and  the  glory  of  all  times 
to  come,  did  first  develope  those  right  famous  qualities  from 
which  the  world  hath  received  such  infinite  profit  and  de- 
light. I  will  not  trouble  thee  with  a  vain  show  of  phrases 
architectural,  which  crabbed  antiquarians  do  much  affect ; 
for  I  am  not  learned  in  the  mystery  of  stone  and  timber  ; 
but  what  true  heart  and  simple  skill  can  do  with  language, 
will  I  essay,  to  give  thee  an  accurate  conception  of  a  place 
that  hath  so  many  admirable  recommendations  to  thy  atten- 
tion. 

It  was  a  room  of  no  extraordinary  dimensions,  yet  was  it 
not  stinted  to  space.  The  ceiling  was  of  a  moderate  height, 
and  the  sides  of  the   chamber  were  of  oak,  the  panels  of 

1> 


0  STIAKSPEARK 

which  were  adorned  with  a  goodly  show  of  delicate  tracery, 
like  unto  the  folds  of  linen  ;  and  round  the  chimney-piece 
was  a  most  liberal  display  of  carvingr,  in  fruits  and  foliage. 
A  large  vase  of  living  flowers,  that  filled  the  chamber  with 
a  ravishing  sweetness,  stood  beside  the  fire-dogs.  One 
broad  casement,  composed  of  many  little  panes  let  into  pieces 
of  lead,  looked  out  upon  the  river,  and  the  centre  part  of  it 
being  open  like  a  door,  at  divers  times  might  be  heard  the 
mellow  "  ye,  ho !"  of  the  bargeman  working  his  oar,  as  he 
piloted  his  heavy  craft  towards  the  city  wharfs;  or,  mayhap, 
softened  in  the  distance,  the  burthen  of  a  popular  ballad,  sung 
by  a  party  of  merry  apprentices  going  a  pleasuring  on  the 
water.  At  one  end  of  the  room  there  rested  on  the  oak 
floor,  a  large  heavy  press  of  dark  walnut-tree  wood,  orna- 
mented with  rude  carvings  of  Adam  and  Eve,  and  the  tree 
of  knowlec^e;  and  opposite  stood  an  ancient  bookcase,  the 
shelves  of  which  supported  a  number  of  famous  black  letter 
volumes,  folios  and  others,  cased  in  parchment  or  roan  bind- 
ings. On  several  narrow  high-backed  chairs,  of  carved  oak, 
might  be  seen  different  articles  of  apparel — a  hat  on  one,  a 
cloak  on  another,  and,  mayhap,  a  rapier  resting  against  a 
third.  In  one  corner  were  sundry  swords  and  a  matchlock, 
in  another,  divers  pieces  of  old  armour.  An  empty  tankard, 
and  the  remains  of  the  morning  repast,  stood  upon  a  large 
table  in  the  centre  of  the  chamber ;  and  near  the  window, 
before  a  smaller  table  covered  with  papers,  and  in  an  antique 
arm-chair,  sat  its  illustrious  occupant. 

Although  his  hose  were  ungartered,  and  his  doublet  had 
been  left  unbraced,  his  right  noble  countenance  and  vi^orship- 
ful  bearing  left  not  the  spectator  opportunity  to  notice  the 
negligence  of  his  attire.  His  face,  which  was  of  a  manly 
age — two  years  short  of  thirty — had  been  most  providen- 
tially fashioned, — with  a  forehead  of  marvellous  capacity — 
eyes  mild,  yet  lively  withal — a  mouth  impressed  with  a  very 
amatory  eloquence — and  a  beard  of  a  perfect  gravity.  Nor 
were  his  limbs  of  a  less  favourable  mould.  In  fact,  he  was 
a  man  of  multitudinous  good  graces.  I  would  there  were 
more  such.  Many  such  there  can  never  be,  for  admirable  as 
he  was  in  person,  he  was  still  more  estimable  in  mind ;  and 
the  union  of  these  excellencies  in  a  like  liberal  proportion  is 
of  such  rarity,  that  peradventure  the  example  will  last  out 
the  world. 

I  am  but  a  sorry  limner  ;  but  had  I  the  art  of  Master  Hoi- 


AND   HIS    FRIENDS.  7 

bein,  of  famous  memory,  I  could  not  hope,  in  a  portrait,  to  do 
liim  justice  ;  nevertheless,  as  what  the  original  hath  done  hath 
been  so  singularly  well  liked,  I  despair  not  that  posterity  will 
give  him  proper  countenance.  However,  suffice  it  to  say, 
he  sat  writing  with  a  creditable  diligence  ;  ever  and  anon 
leaning  against  his  seat,  abstractedly  as  it  were ;  and  when 
he  had  sufficiently  pondered  on  the  matter  with  which  he 
was  in  progress,  his  pen  resumed  its  path  along  the  paper 
with  additional  speed.  Sometimes  he  would  smile  as  he 
wrote,  as  if  tickled  with  the  creations  of  his  own  fancy ; 
and  once  his  humour  seemed  so  touched  with  some  palpable 
conceit,  that  he  cast  down  the  pen,  and  throwing  himself 
back  in  his  chair,  did  laugh  right  heartily.  At  other  times, 
when  he  appeared  to  have  written  passages  of  a  graver  pur- 
port, which  gave  him  more  than  passable  satisfaction,  he 
took  the  paper  in  his  hand,  and  did  read  aloud,  with  a 
rich  voice  and  a  most  felicitous  expression  ;  and  of  a  verity, 
never  was  the  air  so  filled  with  delectable  thoughts.  At  this 
time  there  was  heard  a  knocking  at  the  door.  "  Come  in  !" 
exclaimed  he ;  and  thereupon  entered  one  apparelled  like  a 
young  gallant,  with  hat  and  feather  of  a  goodly  fashion,  a 
delicate  satin  doublet,  an  excellent  fine  ruff,  a  cloak  worn 
daintily  on  the  shoulder,  and  a  long  rapier  fastened  to  his 
side :  trunks  prettily  cut  and  embroidered,  with  silk  hose 
and  ruffled  boots. 

"  Ah,  Dick  !"  said  he  in  the  chair  laughingly,  as  he  recog- 
nised the  good-humoured  features  of  his  visiter,  and  scru- 
tinising his  attire  as  he  closed  the  door  and  was  advancing 
into  the  room,  "  I'faith  thou  lookest  as  fine  as  a  snake  that 
hath  just  cast  its  skin ;  and,"  added  he  with  more  emphasis, 
"art  as  useful  to  any  good  purpose,  I'll  be  bound." 

"  Will !  Will !  thou  hast  a  most  malignant  wit !"  cried  the 
other,  as  he  approached  his  friend  with  mock  gravity,  and 
shook  him  earnestly  by  the  hand.  "  But  what  thinkest  thou 
of  these  braveries  ?"  said  he,  standing  as  upright  as  he 
might,  spreading  out  his  cloak,  and  readjusting  his  hat.  "  I 
fancied  that  we,  the  queen's  majesty's  poor  players,  ought 
to  dress  as  becomes  the  queen's  majesty,  and  therefore  have 
I  robed  myself  anew.  What  thinkest  thou  of  the  cock  of 
this  hat]  'Tis  in  admirable  conceit,  is  it  not? — and  the 
feather — doth  it  not  hang  marvellously  well  1  Doth  not  this 
cloak  become  me  infinitely  1  and  the  slashing  of  this  doublet, 
is  it  not  of  the  most  superlative  fashion  ?" 


8  SHAKSPEARfi 

"  In  truth,  Dick,"  remarked  his  companion,  drily,  as  he 
pushed  back  his  cliair  to  take  a  better  view  of  his  visiter, 
"  I've  seen  many  a  jackdaw  cut  a  finer  figure." 

"  A  plague  on  thy  pestilent  jests !"  exclaimed  the  other, 
with  assumed  indicrnation. 

"  But  as  thou  askest  for  my  opinion,"  he  resumed,  "  I  will 
tell  thee.  Didst  thou  wish  to  attire  thyself  as  becometh  the 
queen's  majesty,  thou  shouldst  have  had  recourse  to  the 
queen's  majesty's  wardrobe  :  for  in  honest  truth,  Dick,  I 
do  not  think  thy  present  dress  would  become  that  illustrious 
princess  in  the  smallest  degree" — 

"  Oh  thou  pernicious  varlet !" 

"  As  for  the  cock  of  thy  hat,  'tis  certainly  in  admirable 
conceit,  or  rather,  the  conceit  is  in  it,  for  thy  head  is  in  it  ; 
and  I  do  not  flatter  thee  when  I  say  there  is  no  lack  of  con- 
ceit there." 

"  Perdition  seize  thy  wit !" 

"  Thy  feather  doth  hang  marvellously  well — i'faith  I  doubt 
much  if  thou  wouldst  hang  better  thyself." 

"  Enough,  enough.  Will,"  eagerly  exclaimed  his  associate, 
putting  his  hands  together,  as  if  begging  for  mercy,  "  if  thou 
hast  any  bowels  of  compassion,  spare  me." 

"  And  if  thou  wert  half  as  well  slashed  as  thy  doublet," 
continued  his  friend,  inattentive  to  his  remonstrance,  "  I 
think  thou  wouldst  be  in  a  much  more  superlative  fashion 
than  thou  art  now." 

"  O'  my  word.  Will,"  said  the  other,  laughing,  as  he  took 
off  his  hat  and  flung  himself  into  a  chair,  "  thou  art  all 
points,  li'ke  a  hedge-hog,  or  like  the  naughty  girl  in  the 
story-book,  out  of  thy  mouth  there  cometh  nothing  but  venom- 
ous things." 

"  But  what  mercer  art  thou  attempting  to  ruini"  inquired 
his  companion. 

"  A  fig  for  the  mercer — 'tis  the  mercer's  daughter  I  seek  !'* 
replied  his  guest. 

*'  Attempt  to  ruin  a  mercer's  daughter !"  exclaimed  the 
other,  half^  starting  from  his  chair  with  aflfected  surprise. 
"  Fie  on  thee,  for  a  reprobate !  thou  art  enough  to  corrupt 
us  all ;  thou  wilt  have  the  whole  city  up  in  arms  against  us, 
and  we  shall  be  obliged  to  fly  from  the  Bankside  to  escape 
the  stocks." 

♦'  I  meant  not  that.  Will — I  am  a  heathen  if  I  meant  that; 
but  thou  knowest  my  failing — I  am  always  after  the  women. 
Oh,  those  exquisite  sweet  creatures  !" 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  9 

"  Thou  shouldst  have  more  ambition,  Dick ;  precedency 
is  man's  natural  right  in  such  instances,  but  if  thou  art 
always  after  the  women,  thou  canst  never  hope  to  get  before 
them." 

"  Thou  hast  me  again,"  cried  his  companion,  as  he  threw 
himself  back  in  his  seat  to  give  vent  to  his  laughter ;  "  I 
would  as  soon  attempt  to  parry  jests  with  thee  as  to  eat 
thistles  with  a  jackass;  so  take  thy  fill,  and  be  hanged  to 
thee.  But  I  tell  thee  how  it  is,  Will.  This  mercer's  daugh- 
ter is  said  to  be  the  richest  heiress  in  the  city.  I  saw  her 
at  the  Bear  Garden  with  the  old  hunks  her  father,  whom  she 
ruleth  most  filially ;  and  observing  that  she  had  an  eye  like 
Venus"— 

"  Only  one,  Dickl"  inquired  his  companion,  innocently. 

"  Two,  or  I'm  a  sinner,"  replied  he,  ♦'  and  a  bust  like  Juno ; 
ay,  and  every  grace  that  all  Olympus  possessed.  In  brief, 
a  beauty  of  such  ravishing  perfections,  that  immediately  i 
found  her  gaze  upon  me,  I  felt  as  many  of  Cupid's  arrows 
in  my  heart  as  there  are  pins  in  her  huswife,  and  thereupon 
fell  most  continently  in  love." 

"  With  her  father's  strong  box,  Dick  V  asked  the  other. 

"  With  her  own  sweet  self,  thou  aggravating  varlet.  I 
presently  made  up  to  the  father,  and  did  enter  into  very 
sober  discourse,  till  I  found  I  had  got  hold  of  the  daughter's 
ear,  and  then  I  pointed  out  the  persons  of  distinction  in  the 
company,  and  seasoned  my  conversation  with  some  delicate 
compliments,  all  which  she  did  receive  in  very  good  fashion, 
rewarding  me  with  such  looks  from  her  soft  hazel  eyes  as 
warmed  my  veins  like  a  stoup  of  canary.  The  old  fellow 
courteously  invited  me  to  his  house,  and  the  dear  wench  did 
repeat  some  most  enticing  words,  which  sent  me  to  the 
mercer's  in  a  presently.  To  please  him,  I  ordered  these  fal- 
lals, and  to  please  her,  I  wear  them.  I  met  her  by  appoint- 
ment since  then  in  Paul's  Walk,  and  after  that  she  gave  me 
some  delicious  interviews  alone  in  her  father's  dwelling,  of 
which  I  made  right  profitable  use.  I  tell  thee,  she  is  ready 
to  melt  in  my  arms." 

"  A  wax  doll  would  do  the  same,  Dick,"  drily  remarked 
the  other,  "if  thou  wert  warm  enough." 

"  Away  with  thy  pestilent  similes  !"  exclaimed  his  guest, 
starting  up  from  his  seat,  as  if  in  anger;  then,  resuming  his 
place,  continued  : — "  She  showed  me  yesterday  a  sonnet,  or 
some  other  pernicious  mischief  of  the  kind,  which  had  been 


10  SHAKSPEARE 

written  in  commendation  of  her  beauty — perhaps  by  some 
crazy  eng-rosser  of  parchments.  The  plague  of  bad  clients 
be  upon  him  ! — and  asked  me  to  try  what  I  could  do  in  that 
way.  Now,  unless  I  can  produce  some  such  verses — my 
malediction  rest  upon  Apollo  and  all  his  generation  ! — I  feel 
assured  I  may  spare  myself  the  trouble  of  venturing  within 
the  precincts  of  her  tenement.  Thou  knovvest  I  could  as 
soon  fly  as  rhyme.  I  have  scratched  my  head  till  it  ached, 
and  looked  up  to  the  ceiling  till  my  neck  was  as  stiff  as  my 
ruff;  but  if  ever  I  succeeded  in  making  reason  of  my  rhyme, 
or  rhyme  of  my  reason,  I'm  worse  than  a  Jew.  So  I  tell 
thee  what,  sweet  Will,  thou  shait  help  me  in  this  strait  with 
thine  own  unparalleled  talents,  and  if  I  be  not  grateful,  call 
me  a  dog." 

"  Dog,  quotha  !"  cried  his  guest,  in  seeming  amazement, 
"  art  thou  not  tire  veriest  dog  that  howls  o'  nights  ?  What 
a  face  hast  thou,  thou  impudent  varlet,  after  having,  with  thy 
miserable  breath,  cursed  Apollo  and  all  his  generation,  to 
come,  cap  in  hand,  to  one  of  the  humblest  of  his  followers  ! 
Go  to,  I'll  ha'  none  o'  thee  !  I  abandon  thee  to  the  fury  of 
the  immortal  gods." 

"  Nay,  but,  sweet  Will." 

"  Ay,  '  sweet  Will'  thou  callest  me  now ;  yet  a  moment 
since  I  was  likened  to  a  jackass  eating  thistles.  Hast  thou 
no  shame  1  Dost  think,  because  thine  own  wretched  hack 
will  not  stir  a  foot,  that  thou  shalt  ride  on  my  Pegasus'?  I'm 
an  oyster  if  I  let  thee." 

"  What !  not  assist  thy  old  friend  and  comrade  1"  asked 
the  other,  in  the  same  bantering  tone  he  had  used  from  the 
first;  "  how  often  have  I  done  thee  a  good  turn  that  way? 
Dost  remember,  in  merry  Stratford,  when  we  were  both 
boys,  yet  with  an  intolerant  inclination  for  the  honours  of 
m.anhood,  how  often  I  did  lead  Sir  Thomas  Lucy's  game- 
keeper in  search  of  imaginary  deer-stealers,  whilst  thou  wert 
courting  his  niece  in  the  shrubbery  1" 

"  Ha !  ha  !  ha  !  thou  hast  me  there,  Dick,"  replied  his 
friend,  unable  to  refrain  from  laughing  at  the  odd  associa- 
tions which  came  crowding  to  his  memory,  "  thou  hast  me 
there  of  a  surety.  Ah,  Kate  !  she  was  a  delectable  little 
gipsy,  with  a  most  enticing  ankle,  and  a  smile  that  would 
thaw  a  six  weeks'  frost.  But  dost  forget  thine  own  tricks, 
old  memorandum  ?  Hast  forgot  when  thou  w^ert  laying 
siege  to  Barbara,  the  sexton's  pretty  daughter,  behind  the 


AND  ins  FRIENDS.  11 

church,  how  I,  with  a  sheet  I  had  stolen  for  the  nonce,  and 
a  turnip-lantern  and  candle,  did  stalk  through  the  church- 
yard, to  keep  the  folks  from  disturbing  thee — to  the  horror 
of  the  whole  neighbourhood,  and  the  near  frightening  to 
death  of  three  ancient  spinsters,  two  drunken  ploughboys, 
and  the  parish  constable  1" 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !"  shouted  the  other,  with  an  obstreperous 
fit  of  mirth,  "  'tis  as  true  as  life  ;  I'm  nothing  better  than  a 
Turk,  if  every  word  isn't  gospel.  But,"  added  he  gravely, 
*'  who  could  imagine  Master  William  Shakspeare  playing 
the  ghost  in  a  country  church-yard  ]" 

"  Or  Master  Richard  Burbage  playing  the  lover  to  a  sex- 
ton's daughter  V 

And  thereupon  the  two  worthies  did  laugh  till  the  tears 
ran  down  their  cheeks,  and  for  some  time  every  word  they 
added  seemed  to  act  as  a  provocative  to  their  mirth. 

"  I'faith,  after  all's  said  and  done,"  observed  Master  Shak- 
speare, when  he  had  recovered  his  gravity,  "  'twas  most  ex- 
quisite fooling." 

"  I'faith  it  was,"  said  Master  Burbage.  "  But  thou  wilt 
let  me  have  the  verses  ?"  he  added,  as  he  sauntered  up  to 
the  table. 

"Ay,  marry  will  I,  for  old  acquaintance  sake,"  replied  his 
friend,  and  immediately  did  search  among  his  papers,  from 
which  he  presently  selected  one.  Scrutinising  it  earnestly, 
he  continued,  "  Ha  !  here  is  a  string  of  idle  rhymes  that 
mayhap  may  suit  thy  purpose,  and  thy  mercer's  daughter 
also.  I  think  of  it  indifferently;  nay,  I  will  acknowledge  I 
fancy  'tis  rather  discreditable  to  me ;  but  each  has  his  own 
taste,  and  therefore  it  may  stand  a  chance  of  pleasing  thy 
inamorata.     Listen,  and  I  will  read  it  to  thee." 

Master  Burbage  did  lean  his  elbow  on  the  table,  having 
his  body  bent  forward,  and  supporting  his  head  with  his 
hand ;  and  kept  a  profound  attention  whilst  Master  Shak- 
speare read  the  following  lines. 

•*  The  Time  hath  passed  for  g'oJIike  forms 
To  leave  awhile  their  starry  homes, 
And  throw,  'mid  human  clouds  and  storms, 

Elysian  joy  on  mortal  domes. 
The  time  hath  passed  when  Phcebus  flung 

His  golden  spells  on  laughing  earth  ; 
And  every  field  and  forest  rung 

WiUi  hymns  of  bliss,  and  shouts  of  mirth. 


12  SHAKSrEARE 

Chaste  Dian's  silv'ry  voice  is  mute, 

The  Sea  Nymplis  dance  not  on  the  shore  ; 
Silent  is  now  tlie  Dryad's  flute, 

And  Pan's  sweet  reed  is  heard  no  more. 
E'en  Love  hath  folded  up  his  wings, 

And  from  his  hand  his  bow  hath  cast ; 
Apollo's  lyre  hath  lost  its  strings, 

Its  tune  hath  fled — Tue  Time  uath  passed. 

**Gonc  are  the  glorious  visitants 

Who  gave  this  world  so  bright  a  grace, 
And  Grief  and  Care — a  thousand  wants, 

And  endless  crimes,  are  in  their  place ; 
Unhonoured  is  the  poet's  lay 

That  once  made  all  Olympus  glad; 
And  Worth  is  left  to  beg  its  way, 

Or  perish  with  the  mean  and  bad. 
And  I,  who  strove  with  heart  and  mind. 

That  famished  souls  might  break  their  fast, 
Discover  now  that  Heaven  is  blind. 

The  world  is  dead — The  Time  uath  passed  ! 

"Ob,  no,  the  Time's  restored  again, 

And  with  it  all  its  gladdening  shapes. 
The  whilst,  from  off  the  breast  and  brain, 

The  cloud  in  which  they  lay,  escapes. 
Phcebus  in  thy  bright  shape  returns. 

Thy  words  chaste  Dian's  voice  enslave. 
For  thee  the  Sea  Nymphs'  crystal  urns. 

When  in  the  bath  thy  limbs  must  lave. 
Love  in  thine  eyes  hath  ta'en  new  ground. 

And  keeps  his  sharp  artillery  there ; 
The  breeze  Apollo's  strings  hath  found. 

And  stirs  them  in  thy  golden  hair? 
And  as  for  Pan's  Arcadian  reed. 

Tuned  with  the  Dryads,  measured  trips, 
AVhat  blissful  melodies  exceed 

The  music  breathing  from  thy  lips  ? 
Well  cared  for  is  the  green  earth  still. 

When  round  thee  all  Olympus  glows ; 
Well  honoured  is  the  poet's  skill. 

When  worth  hke  thine  its  praise  bestows. 
Then  blessings  be  upon  thy  path, 

And  joy  that  no  ill  breath  can  blast 
Be  with  thee — now  the  world's  poor  wrath 

Can  harm  me  not — The  Time  hath  passed  !'* 

"  Excellent  good,  i'faith  !"  exclaimed  Master  Burbage,  de- 
lightedly. "  Excellent  good !  If  she  be  not  satisfied  with 
it,  nothing  less  than  another  Iliad  will  gratify  her  cormorant 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  13 

fancy.     Give  me  the  paper,  sweet  Will !     Dan  Homer  was 
a  blind  ballad-monger  to  thee,  thou  prince  of  rhymers." 

"  Avaunt,  thou  horrid  flatterer  I"  cried  Master  Shakspeare, 
as  he  allowed  his  companion  to  conceal  the  verses  in  his 
purse.  "  But  'tis  poor  fishing  with  other  folks'  tackle,  Dick," 
he  added,  in  his  own  facetious  way. 

"  Faith,  I  care  not  an'  1  have  good  sport :  and  I'll  pay  thee 
for  thy  tackle  with  a  loose  fish  or  two,"  replied  the  other, 
with  a  chuckle  of  inward  satisfaction. 

•'  I'll  ha'  none  o'  thy  gudgeons,"  said  his  friend,  with  mock 
disdain.     "  When  I  fish  I  catch  whales." 

"  Then  hast  thou  a  very  blubberly  taste,"  rejoined  Mas- 
ter Burbage,  "  and  when  I  want  salve  for  a  wound  I'll 
come  to  thee ;  for  thou  must  have  a  most  infinite  stock  of 
spermaceti." 

Thus  they  proceeded,  bantering  and  laughing  at  one  an- 
other, and  indulging  their  humours  with  perfect  satisfaction 
themselves,  when  a  knock  was  heard  at  the  door,  and  ad- 
mittance being  granted,  there  entered  a  man  of  a  pleasant 
aspect,  and  of  spare  figure,  not  so  gaily  garmented  as  Mas- 
ter Burbage,  yet  having  much  of  the  outward  appearance  of 
respectability. 

"  Welcome,  good  Lazarus  Fletcher.  Welcome  !"  cried 
Master  Shakspeare. 

"  Hail  to  thee,  Lazarus  I"  added  Master  Burbage,  in  his 
usual  jocose  manner.  "  Hast  thou  come  to  the  rich  man's 
table,  Lazarus  ]  Look  for  the  crumbs,  man  !  Look  for  the 
crumbs !  and  thou  art  not  like  to  get  any  thing  else ;  for 
the  table  hath  nothing  better  than  a  bare  trencher,  and  an 
empty  tankard.  Catch  the  crumbs  that  have  fallen  then, 
for,  in  truth,  thou  lookest  wofully  like  a  right  hungry  La- 
zarus." 

"  If  I  look  as  hungry  as  Lazarus,  thou  lookest  as  fine  as 
Dives,"  retorted  Master  Fletcher. 

"  What,  be  there  no  dogs  to  lick  this  Lazarus,  that  he 
seemeth  so  woundily  sore?"  said  the  other.  "  But  I  tell  thee 
what,  Lazarus,  an'  thou  ever  liest  in  Abraham's  bosom,  thou 
hadst  best  tuck  up  thine  ankles,  for  thou  must  needs  find 
there  a  plentiful  lack  of  bed-room." 

"  Mind  not  the  reprobate,  worthy  Fletcher,"  observed  Mas- 
ter Shakspeare,  yet  unable  to  refrain  from  laughing. 

"  Marry,  why  should  I  mind  him,"  replied  the  other,  "  he 

VOL.  I.  2 


14 


SHAKSPEARE 


onlyshoweth  that  he  hath  a  spice  of  the  ability  of  Sampson  : 
for  he  maketh  a  goodly  use  of  the  jawbone  of  an  ass." 

"  Ha  !  ha  1"  shouted  Master  Shakspeare,  chafing  his  hands 
in  the  intensity  of  his  delight.  "  Spare  him  not,  good  Laza- 
rus ;  an'  thou  Jovest  me,  spare  him  not."  Then  looking  to- 
wards his  friend,  he  added,  "  I'faith,  Dick,  thou  hast  found 
thy  match." 

"  Match  !"  exclaimed  Master  Burbage,  turning  sharp  round 
from  the  casement  out  of  which  he  had  that  moment  been 
leaning,  "  ay,  marry  !  and  like  other  matches — all  the  good 
lieth  in  the  brimstone.  But  tell  us  thy  news,  Master  Fletcher; 
for  that  there  is  something  in  the  book  is  evident  in  the 
index — thou  lookest  as  important  as  a  tailor's  wife  threading 
her  husband's  needle." 

"  O'  my  troth,  I  have  something  worth  the  telling,"  replied 
he. 

"  Disburthen  thyself  then,  and  quickly,  good  Lazarus,"  ob- 
served Master  Shakspeare. 

"There  hath  a  message  come  from  the  Master  of  the 
Revels,  worthy  Master  Edmond  Tilney,"  said  Master 
Fletcher,  «'  to  the  intent  that  it  be  the  design  of  the  queen's 
majesty,  with  divers  of  her  honourable  court,  to  honour  her 
poor  players  with  a  visit ;  and  leaving  Hemings  and  Con- 
dell  and  the  rest  to  prepare  for  her  reception,  I  posted  off 
here,  as  Master  Burbage  had  left  word  that  he  would  be  found 
at  Master  Shakspeare's  lodgings." 

"  Hurrah  !"  shouted  Master  Burbage,  snatching  up  his  hat 
and  waving  it  over  his  head,  "  we'll  have  a  right  worshipful 
audience.  Heaven  preserve  her  majesty,  and  enrich  her 
servants,  say  L  Come  along,  good  Lazarus  !"  he  added,  as 
he  caught  his  brother  actor  by  the  arm,  "we  must  to  the 
playhouse." 

"  I  will  be  with  thee  anon,  Dick,"  said  Master  Shakspeare, 
as  his  visiters  were  proceeding  to  the  door.  "  But  I  have  a 
letter  to  write  to  my  Lord  Southampton,  to  thank  him  for 
yonder  exquisite  present  of  flowers  he  hath  sent  me  from 
his  own  garden,  and  to  acquaint  him  with  our  proceedings 
with  the  court  of  aldermen,  touching  our  threatened  liberties, 
at  the  Blackfriars." 

"  Success  attend  thee.  Will,  in  all  thy  doings,"  exclaimed 
his  friend,  and  putting  on  his  hat  he  led  his  companion  out 
of  the  chamber. 

Master  Shakspeare  being  lefl  alone,  did  presently  draw 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  15 

up  his  chair  closer  to  the  table  on  which  he  had  been  writ- 
ing, and  did  recommence  his  labours  with  an  admirable  dili- 
gence. Ma3'iiap  he  was  engaged  in  the  inditing  of  one  of 
those  right  tlimous  plays  which  did  bring  so  much  honour  to 
his  name  ;  but  know  1  not  this  for  a  surety  ;  and  as  a  trusty 
chronicler,  I  will  only  subscribe  to  that  of  which  I  have  per- 
fect knowledge.  However,  it  be  certain  that  he  had  not 
been  long  so  engaged,  when  a  third  knock  was  heard  at  the 
door,  so  gentle  it  was  scarcely  audible ;  and  although  he 
seemed  at  first  somewhat  impatient  of  interruption  (for  no 
man  liketh  to  be  much  disturbed  in  his  privacy),  when,  upon 
his  giving  permission  to  the  person  to  enter,  he  observed  his 
visiter,  he  gave  him  most  courteous  welcome.  He  was  a 
youth,  aged  seventeen,  or  thereabouts,  tall,  slim,  and  elegant, 
and  though  clad  in  homely  russet,  there  was  that  in  his 
graceful  carriage,  and  in  his  mild  yet  thoughtful  countenance, 
that  did  signify  something  of  a  far  higher  quality  than  such 
poor  apparel  did  denote.  But  most  remarkable  was  the  ex- 
ceeding modesty  of  his  deportment.  He  opened  and  closed 
the  door  almost  tremblingly,  and  respectfully  taking  off  his 
hat,  advanced  into  the  room  with  downcast  eyes,  to  the 
great  marvel  of  our  illustrious  poet. 

"I  took  the  boldness,  Master  Shakspeare,"  said  the  youth 
falteringly,  as  he  kept  smoothing  his  hat  with  his  hand  where 
he  stood  in  the  middle  of  the  chamber — "  I  took  the  boldness 
some  short  time  since  to  send  you  a  tragedy  of  my  poor 
contrivance;  hoping,  from  wiiat  I  had  heard  of  your  worthy 
disposition,  that  you  w^ould  honour  that  humble  attempt  to 
such  an  extent  as  to  give  it  your  perusal ;  and  peradventure 
if  such  an  obscure  individual  be  not  thought  altogether  un- 
worthy of  attention  from  one  so  excellently  gifted  as  your- 
self, you  will  favour  me  so  far  as  to  grant  me  your  opinion 
of  its  matter  and  management." 

"  That  will  I,  worthy  sir,  without  fail,"  replied  Master 
Shakspeare,  regarding  his  young  visiter  with  a  more  than 
ordinary  interest.  "  But  you  must  first  acquaint  me  with 
your  name,  and  the  title  of  the  play  you  entrusted  to  my 
custody ;  for  my  reputation,  however  little  deserved  it  may 
be,  and  my  influence  at  the  playhouse,  which  is  thought  to 
be  greater  than  it  is,  are  the  causes  of  my  being  continually 
applied  to  for  a  similar  purpose." 

"  The  tragedy  was  called  '  Hero  and  Leander,'  and  I 
ijgncd  my  name  '  Francis,' "  murmured  the  youth. 


16 


SIIAKSPEARE 


"Let  me  beg  of  you  to  be  seated,  worthy  Master  Fran- 
cis," exclaimed  the  other,  as  he  hastily  handed  him  a  chair. 
"I  remember  it  well,"  he  added,  as  he  searched  among  his 
papers  on  the  table,  "  by  the  token  that  it  did  contain  many 
passages  that  exhibited  no  mean  ability." 

The  melancholy  aspect  of  the  young  stranger  did  brighten 
up  marvellously  at  the  hearing  of  this  commendation,  and 
his  eyes  looked  abundance  of  thanks.  He  argued  the  most 
favourable  conclusion  from  so  promising  a  commencement, 
for  it  is  the  nature  of  youth  to  be  sanguine  upon  very  little 
occasion. 

"  I  have  it,"  said  Master  Shakspeare,  as  he  laid  hold  of 
the  manuscript ;  and,  opening  it,  sat  himself  down  in  the 
chair,  as  if  to  give  it  a  careful  examination :  then  added, 
"  but  in  all  honesty,  I  must  acknowledge  that  it  hath  a  total 
unfitness  for  representation."  At  this  the  youth's  counte- 
nance became  blanched  with  a  sudden  paleness.  "  It  hath 
a  lack  of  every  thing  which  is  most  necessary  for  a  drama 
to  have :  to  wit,  action — interest — and  character  ; — the 
which  if  it  have  not,  were  it  written  by  King  Solomon  him- 
self, or  the  seven  wise  masters  in  conjunction,  it  would  have 
no  chance  with  our  modern  audiences.  The  time  of  mys- 
teries and  moralities  hath  gone  by.  People  now  will  not 
listen  to  dialogues  without  an  object,  and  plays  without  a 
plot.  David  hath  ceased  to  abuse  Goliath  in  a  set  speech  an 
hour  long,  and  Joseph  lingereth  no  longer  to  preach  a  thrice 
tedious  sermon  to  Potiphar's  wife.  If  a  play  have  not  action 
it  must  needs  have  but  little  interest ;  for  although  some- 
thing may  occasionally  be  done  in  a  narrative  form,  if  the 
ball  be  not  kept  up — that  is  to  say,  if  the  dramatis  personae 
be  doing  of  nothing — even  if  the  sentences  be  proverbs  of 
wisdom,  then  shall  the  play  be  a  bad  play.  Again,  if  the 
characters  who  form  the  plot  have  no  individuality  or  dis- 
tinct features,  in  accordance  with  nature  or  probability, 
though  they  look  like  Alexanders  and  argue  like  Aristotles, 
shall  the  play  be  a  bad  play.  Your  tragedy,  Master  Fran- 
cis, hath  these  particular  defects,  and  I  should  be  hugely  de- 
ficient in  candour,  and  in  no  way  deserving  the  confidence 
you  have  been  pleased  to  place  in  me,  were  I  to  refrain  from 
telling  you  that  it  cannot  be  acted  with  any  profit  either  to 
yourself  or  others.  There  is  another  objection  to  it — the 
subject  hath  already  been  done  by  Kit  Marlowe." 

Master  Shakspeare  observing  for  the  first  time  that  the 


AND  HIrf  FRIENDS.  17 

Hps  of  his  visiter  had  lost  their  accustomed  ruddiness,  and 
that  he  did  look  most  despairing  and  wo-begone,  with  that 
sweet  sympathy  which  maketh  the  generous  so  fearful  of  giv- 
ing pain  to  another,  instantly  began  to  turn  over  the  leaves 
of  Master  Francis  his  play,  and  resumed  his  discourse.  "  But 
let  me  not  cause  you  to  imagine  that  I  think  naught  of  your 
tragedy.  Master  Francis.  Far  be  it  from  me  to  say  so.  I 
do  consider  the  blank  verse  very  musical  and  eloquent,  and 
full  of  right  admirable  conceits.  Here  is  a  passage  in  which 
a  lover,  expostulating  with  his  mistress,  who  doth  affect  in- 
constancy in  no  small  measure,  sayeth  this  much  as  argu  ■ 
ment  to  prove  the  unity  of  love  : — 

**  'Effect  and  cause — (the  lover  and  the  loved) 
Are  consequence  and  origin  of  one 
Vure,  sing-le,  and  connective  property— 
The  proud  desire  of  human  happiness; 
Which  leads  one  spirit  to  another  one. 
One  heart  unto  its  fellow.     This  is  love. 
Which,  with  an  inclination  natural, 
And  fond  and  sweet,  and  generous  and  good, 
Ever  inclineth  one  sex  to  the  other 
To  realise  a  mutual  bliss.     The  two, 
In  pairs,  from  other  pairs  apart,  are  joined 
In  bonds  of  budding  hopes  and  blushing  joys  ; 
The  whilst  the  Social  Virtues  hand  in  hand, 
Link'd  like  the  golden  rings  that  form  a  chain 
Of  precious,  priceless  worth,  circle  them  round, 
And  keep  off  from  the  temple  of  their  bliss. 
Unholy  thoughts,  false  gods  and  evil  deeds.* 

"And  again,  in  continuation  of  the  same  subject: — 

'*  'The  forest  tops 
Give  voices  to  the  wind,  and  there  the  dove 
Sits  with  her  mate  secure — with  heart  all  joy — 
In  inclination  uncorrupt — in  dreams 
That  are  reality:  and  still  her  breast 
With  passionate  ecstacy  heaves  tremblingly; 
There  is  a  stirring  gladness  in  her  eyes; 
There  is  a  thrilling  music  in  her  voice  ; 
For  she  doth  own  a  bless'd  tranquillity. 
No  other  winged  one  can  seek  that  nest; 
They  find  a  perfect  pleasure  in  themselves  ; 
Their  lives  are  for  each  other;  and  unknown 
Beyond  the  little  sanctuary  of  their  loves, 
Is  any  rapture  which  they  there  enjoy. 

"  *  If  Nature  then  declare  her  law  to  be 
That  one  alone  should  unto  one  be  fixed 
2* 


18  3HAKSFEARK 

In  sacred  love  and  pure  devotcdncss, 
Sliall  human-kind,  of  loving*  thing's  the  bcs*. 
The  noblest,  wisest,  and  the  most  divine. 
Give  that  in  partnership  to  more  than  one 
Which  one  alone  can  know  in  purity  ? 
Divide  this  precious  influence — 'tis  lost. 
The  moment  that  in  other  hands  'tis  placed 
Gone  is  the  golden  virtue  it  possessed. 
The  sage's  wnsdom  is  his  own — the  wand 
Of  the  magician  doUi  forget  its  charm 
With  one  who  hath  no  magic — strike  the  harp 
A  moment  since  so  eloquent  with  song 
Raised  by  the  poet's  skill,  and  nothing  speaks 
But  what  is  dull,  and  harsh,  and  dissonant. 
And  why  is  this? — Because  in  natural  things. 
There  is  an  ownership  ;  and  Love,  of  all 
Our  natural  gifts  most  natural, 
Admits  of  no  division  of  its  worth. 
We  cannot  set  one  gem  in  many  rings.' 

"  I  do  opine,  Master  Francis,"  continued  our  illustrious 
dramatist,  with  a  look  of  kindness  towards  his  youns^  com- 
panion, who  had  been  listening  with  delighted  attention  to 
Master  Shakspeare's  faultless  delivery  of  his  lines, — "  I  do 
opine  that  there  is  much  admirable  matter  in  these  words; 
and  the  same  opinion  holds  good  towards  other  passages  in 
your  play,  of  similar  excellence ;  which  plainly  prove  to  me 
that  there  is  no  lack  of  promise  in  you.  But  be  not  too 
hasty;  pluck  not  the  fruit  before  it  be  ripe,  else  they  who 
may  chance  to  taste  it  will  make  wry  mouths.  If  you  would 
take  the  advice  of  one  willing  to  do  you  all  manner  of  good 
offices — " 

"  If  I  do  not,  I  should  be  the  most  unworthy  varlet  that 
lives,"  exclaimed  Master  Francis  warmly. 

"You  will  wait  awhile  before  you. offer  any  composition 
to  the  public  eye,"  said  Master  Shakspeare,  affecting  not  to 
notice  the  interruption  he  had  received,  yet  being  much 
pleased  thereat.  "  You  are  young — your  knowledge  of  the 
world  must  therefore  be  scanty  ;  and  although  I  do  perceive 
in  your  writings  a  comprehensive  acquaintance  with  books, 
he  who  writeth  tragedies  should  possess  an  equal  knowledge 
of  men ;  therefore  I  do  advise  you,  for  some  years  to  come, 
to  study  mankind,  if  you  entertain  any  desire  of  taking  your 
stand  among  our  English  dramatists.  Moreover,  you  have 
as  yet  acquired  no  information  as  to  the  business  of  the 
stage — a  matter  of  vast  moment  towards  the  success  of  even 


AND  HI3   FRlENOf.  ^  19 

tlie  best  piny.  This  you.  can  only  inform  yourself  of  by 
noting  what  others  have  done.  The  most  effective  way  for 
you  to  do  this  is  to  come  to  us  at  the  play-house,  where  you 
shall  have  free  ingress  and  egress  upon  every  fitting  occa- 
sion :  and  I  will  forward  your  interest  in  all  that  my  poor 
skill  or  influence  can  effect." 

The  tone  of  kindness  with  which  these  last  sentences 
were  delivered,  seemed  to  have  a  most  powerful  effect  upon 
the  listener ;  indeed  it  had  gone  direct  to  his  heart,  and  he 
sat  for  some  seconds  perfectly  unable  to  utter  a  syllable. 

"  Is  there  any  thing  more  I  can  do  for  you  V  inquired 
Master  Shakspeare,  regarding  the  changing  colour  and  mo- 
dest demeanour  of  his  visiter  with  increasing  interest. 
"  Though  I  seek  not  to  make  a  boast  of  it,  I  have  some 
powerful  friends,  to  whom,  peradventure,  my  recommenda- 
tion would  do  good  service,  if  ventured  in  behalf  of  one  of 
your  excellent  parts  and  disposition." 

"  Oh,  Master  Shakspeare  !"  murmured  the  youth,  looking 
up  to  him  with  eyes  made  humid  by  his  grateful  emotions, 
"  I  would  I  had  language  to  thank  you  ;  but  ni)'  heart  is  too 
full." 

"  Nay,  nay,  worthy  Master  Francis,"  said  the  other,  en- 
couragingly. "  If  you  love  me  you  must  not  think  of  that. 
He  who  looks  for  thanks  deserveth  them  not.  Such  a  one 
am  not  I.  I  will  acknowledge  I  feel  a  regard  for  you,  and 
would  wish  to  be  your  friend  ;  and  if  you  will  entrust  me 
with  your  confidence,  rest  assured  it  shall  not  be  abused. 
Tell  me,  is  your  way  of  life  agreeable  to  you  ]" 

"  Indeed  it  is  not,"  replied  his  visiter,  with  a  melancholy 
expression  of  countenance  that  completely  attested  the  truth 
of  the  avowal.  "  But  w^hy  should  I  take  advantage  of  the 
goodness  of  your  disposition  ?  or  why  trouble  you  with  my 
complaints?  I  have  already  taken  up  too  much  of  your 
valuable  time."  Then  he  added,  as  he  rose  from  his  chair 
to  depart,  "  I  thank  you  very  heartily  for  your  kindness, 
which,  in  all  times  to  come,  shall  be  the  most  delightful  of 
my  remembrances ;  and  if  it  please  you  to  give  me  my 
papers,  I  would  gratefully  take  my  leave." 

♦'  We  part  not  thus,"  said  Master  Shakspeare,  quickly,  as 
he  rose  from  his  seat,  and  taking  hold  of  Master  Francis' 
shoulder,  did  affectionately  push  him  back  into  his  chair ; 
then  sitting  carelessly  on  the  edge  of  the  table  adjoining, 
with  ono  hand  of  his  visiter  kindly  pressed  in  his  own,  and 


20  >  yilAKSPEARE 

with  a  most  benevolently  smiling  countenance  he  proceeded. 
'*  We  part  not  thus.  Sit  you  down,  Master  Francis — sit  you 
down :  and  let  not  the  modesty  of  your  disposition  be  a 
stumbling-block  to  the  advancement  of  your  fortunes.  The 
world  hath  not  used  you  well,  or  I  mistake  countenances 
hugely.  Let  me  try  to  make  amends  for  the  unkindness  of 
others.  I  have  both  the  inclination  and  the  power  to  serve ; 
and  it  seemeth  to  me  that  I  should  do  myself  credit  by  any 
service  I  could  render.  Let  me  be  your  friend,  Master 
Francis.  I  assure  you,  on  the  honour  of  a  Christian  gentle- 
man, and  a  humble  follower  of  the  Muses,  that  you  will  do 
me  a  great  wrong,  if  you  allow  me  not  the  satisfaction  of 
befriending  you." 

"  Indeed,  Master  Shakspeare,  you  are  too  good,"  exclaimed 
his  visiter,  warmly  returning  the  pressure  of  the  hand  he  had 
received.  "  I  know  not  what  to  say — I  lack  words — I  am 
quite  overpowered." 

"  What  a  wittol  am  I,  and  one  shamefully  neglectful  of  the 
duties  of  hospitality  !"  said  Master  Shakspeare,  suddenly, 
as  he  sprung  from  the  table,  and,  proceeding  to  a  cupboard 
in  a  recess  of  the  chamber,  did  presently  return,  bringing  a 
flask  and  tv/o  drinking  horns. 

"  I  would  you  would  excuse  me,  worthy  Master  Shak- 
speare," said  the  youth,  modestly,  as  soon  as  he  observed  the 
movement  of  his  host. 

"  Excuse  me  no  excuses,"  replied  the  other,  with  a  smile, 
as  he  made  room  on  the  little  table,  and  poured  out  the  wine 
into  the  vessels,  .  "  What !  shall  it  be  said  that  Will  Shak- 
speare denied  a  brother  poet  a  draught  of  the  fountain  from 
which  he  hath  so  often  drawn  inspiration  ?  Tell  it  not  at  the 
Mermaid.  A  cup  of  this  excellent  sherris  will  warm  both 
our  hearts." 

"  You  have  made  my  heart  warm  enough  as  it  is,"  ob- 
served Master  Francis,  still  hesitating  to  take  the  proffered 
cup. 

"  Tush,  man  !"  replied  Master  Shakspeare,  hospitably 
forcing  the  cup  into  his  guest's  almost  reluctant  hand,  "  will 
you  not  drink  to  my  health?" 

"  Ah,  that  will  I,  with  all  true  earnestness,"  exclaimed  the 
other,  as  he  immediately  raised  the  wine  to  his  lips.  "  And 
I  most  heartily  wish,  as  all  England  must  wish,  that  your  life 
be  long  preserved  to  delight  and  enrich  this  island  with  your 
right  excellent  labours." 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  21 

"Thank  you,  worthy  Master  Francis,  thank  you,"  said  his 
host,  shaking  his  companion  cordially  by  the  hand  ;  "  it  is 
gratifying  to  be  praised  at  all,  but  to  be  praised  by  those 
who  can  appreciate,  is  the  most  exquisite  of  flattery.  And 
now  let  me  pledge  you  to  our  better  acquaintance,"  added 
he,  as  he  poured  out  a  brimming  cup  for  himself,  "and  may 
success  attend  you  equal  to  your  deserts, — which  be  of  no 
common  order." 

'*  You  are  too  liberal  in  your  commendation — indeed  you 
are,"  observed  the  youth,  as  a  slight  blush  appeared  upon  his 
countenance. 

"  Not  a  whit,  man,  not  a  whit,"  replied  his  host,  as  he 
finished  his  draught.  "  There  can  be  no  harm  in  praising  a 
modest  man  :  for  if  the  desert  be  not  equal  to  the  praise,  he 
will  not  rest  till  he  make  it  so.    But  your  cup  is  empty." 

"  Nay,  good  Master  Shakspeare,"  exclaimed  the  other,  as 
he  noticed  his  host  refilling  the  cup — "  if  it  please  you,  no 
more." 

"  But  it  does  not  please  me,  Master  Francis,"  said  his  com- 
panion jocosely. 

"  I  am  not  used  to  drinking  of  wine  of  a  morning,  and  it 
may  chance  get- in  my  head." 

*'  No  vessel  can  be  the  worse  for  containing  good  wine, 
Master  Francis.     So  you  must  e'en  drink  another  cup." 

"  I  thank  you,  but  I  would  rather  not,"  said  Master  Francis 
falteringly,  as  the  vessel  was  handed  him. 

"  What,  hesitate  to  drink  the  queen's  health  ?"  exclaimed 
Master  Shakspeare  in  seeming  astonishment.  "  Why,  how 
now  ?  Surely  loyalty  hath  gone  out  of  the  land,  if  the  guest 
of  one  of  her  majesty's  poor  players  refuse  to  join  him  in 
drinking  the  health  of  Queen  Elizabeth." 

"  I  thought  not  of  that ;"  remarked  the  other  quietly  taking 
the  wine,  "  I  will  join  you  gladly."  Thereupon,  with  much 
sincerit}^  of  heart,  tliese  two  did  drink  to  the  queen's  majes- 
ty. "  But  I  must  be  going,  or  my  uncle  will  be  angered  with 
me;  and  he  is  a  man  of  a  most  ungracious  humour,"  said 
Master  Francis. 

"A  murrain  on  him  !"  cried  Master  Shakspeare.  "  And, 
if  I  may  make  so  free  to  ask,  who  is  he?" 

"  He  is  Gregory  Vellum,  the  scrivener,  of  St.  Mary  Axe," 
replied  the  youth  ;  "  and  though  report  says  he  abounds  in 
riches,  one  would  suppose  that  he  hath  not  sufficient  to  fur- 
nish a  beggar's  wallet." 


22  SHAKSPEARR 

"  Have  you  no  father  living?"  asked  liis  host. 

"  It  is  uncertain,"  responded  Master  Francis  more  serious- 
ly. "  My  mother's  was  a  private  marriage  with  a  gentleman 
much  above  her  in  station,  and  as  he  said  it  would  injure 
him  in  tiie  estimation  of  his  family  if  his  union  became 
known,  she  kept  his  quality  a  secret  from  all  who  knew 
her.  He  went  to  the  wars  a  short  time  before  she  gave 
birth  to  me,  and  has  never  since  been  heard  of;  and  my  poor 
mother  died  in  childbed,  without  leaving  any  other  memorial 
of  her  husband  than  this  miniature,  which  I  always  carry 
about  with  me." 

Master  Shakspeare  silently  examined  the  trinket,  which 
was  in  a  gold  frame,  that  the  youth  wore  round  his  neck. 
On  one  side  was  the  likeness  of  a  very  lovely  woman  ;  the 
other  had  contained  another  miniature,  mayhap,  of  a  cavalier  ; 
but  it  was  now  empty. 

"  The  initials  E.  V.,  on  one  side  the  frame,  are  for  my  mo- 
ther Eleanor  Vellum,"  continued  the  youth,  "  and  the  F.  H., 
on  the  empty  frame,  are  doubtless  the  initials  of  my  father ; 
of  which  one  must  be  Francis,  for  so  she  always  called  him, 
as  I  have  heard,  and  therefore  by  that  name  have  I  been 
christened ;  but  what  the  other  standeth  for  I  know  not,  and 
perchance  may  never  know  till  the  day  of  judgment." 

"Be  of  good  heart.  Master  Francis,"  said  his  companion, 
encouragingly,  "  peradventure  the  secret  may  be  discovered 
sooner  than  you  look  for.  But  what  says  your  uncle? — 
knoweth  he  nothing  ?" 

"  Sometimes  I  am  apt  to  think  that  he  knows  more  than 
he  is  inclined  to  tell,"  replied  Master  Francis;  "for  in  his 
unguarded  moments,  he  hath  dropped  some  mysterious 
hints  which  savour  a  little  of  the  purpose.  But  he  is  so  con- 
tinually upbraiding  me  for  the  troubles  and  the  charges  I  put 
him  to — he  so  stints  me  in  all  sorts  of  necessaries,  and  so 
begrudges  me  the  little  pleasure  I  enjoy, — that  he  hath  made 
my  life  a  daily  burthen,  and  I  should  be  right  glad  to  get 
from  under  his  roof,  to  labour  in  any  capacity  for  which  I 
may  be  properly  qualified." 

"  That  shall  not  be  long  first,  or  my  name  be  not  Will 
Shakspeare,"  exclaimed  his  host,  as  he  poured  out  another 
cup  of  wine  for  his  guest. 

"  Nay,  good  Master  Shakspeare,"  cried  the  youth,  rising 
up  and  taking  his  hat,  as  he  noticed  the  brimming  vessel 
proceeding  towards  him,  "  prythee  let  me  go  ;  I  have  drunk 
most  bountiful'-  ^  thonv  ■».,--  " 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  23 

"  One  more  cup,  and  it  shall  be  the  last." 

•'  Indeed  I  would  rather  not." 

"  Now,  look  at  this  !"  exclaimed  Master  Shakspeare,  in  ap- 
parent wonder.  "  Here  is  a  youth  of  some  eighteen  years 
or  so,  who  confesses  that  he  hath  met  with  no  fair  damsel 
with  soul-enkindling  eyes  and  roseate  cheeks,  whose  health 
he  deems  worthy  of  being  drunk  in  a  bumper  of  sherris," 

*'  I  said  not  that.  Master  Shakspeare,"  replied  his  young 
companion,  hastily,  as  the  colour  mounted  to  his  cheek — 
"  Believe  me,  I  said  not  that." 

"  I  believe  you  most. heartily,"  said  his  host  with  a  laugh, 
as  he  noticed  the  youth's  increasing  confusion.  "  I  see  con- 
viction in  your  complexion.     Her  health,  Master  Francis." 

"  Well,  I  suppose  I  must,"  observed  his  guest,  as  if  anxious 
to  be  quickly  relieved  from  his  embarrassment.  "  I  thank 
you  kindly.  She  is  a  right  noble  creature,  and  I  should  be 
the  basest  wretch  alive  were  I  to  refu.se  to  drink  her  healtli 

—  considering "    Here  the  young  poet  stopped  suddenly  ; 

his  complexion  acquired  a  warmer  glow;   and  a  shadow  of 
deep  melancholy  overspread  his  features. 

"  Hath  she  no  name.  Master  Francis  V  inquired  the  other 
earnestly,  and,  if  the  truth  must  be  told,  somewhat  mis- 
chievously. 

"Indeed  she  hath,"  he  replied.  "It  is  a  good  name — a 
name  of  excellent  credit — a " 

"  I  doubt  it  not,"  observed  Master  Shakspeare,  with  more 
than  his  usual  gravity;  "  but  to  the  point,  man.  Dost  hesi- 
tate to  tell  it  ]  Take  my  word  for  it,  you  are  paying  her  no 
compliment  if  you  do." 

"  Her  name  is  Joanna,"  said  the  youth  in  a  voice  scarcely 
audible,  and  trying  unsuccessfully  to  hide  his  confusion. 

"  Then  drink  I  your  Joanna's  health  in  a  brimming  cup, 
and  with  a  most  heartfelt  wish  that  she  may  be  worthy  of 
you,  and  that  you  may  be  happy  with  her." 

Master  Francis  said  nothing,  but  hastened  to  drink  the 
wine  that  had  been  placed  in  his  hand. 

"  And  now,  Master  Francis,  here  is  your  tragedy,"  said 
his  companion,  as  he  gave  him  the  manuscript,  with  a  bene- 
volent countenance  and  a  cordial  shake  of  the  hand  ;  "  and 
henceforth  consider  me  your  friend,  for  I  wish  to  prove  my- 
self such.  Something  shall  be  done  for  you,  rest  assured; 
and  that  very  shortly.  Good  day.  Master  Francis,  good 
day,"  he  continued,  as  he  kindly  led  his  visiter  to  the  door, 
and  opened  it  for  him. 


24  8HAKSPEARB 

Master  Francis  could  only  look  his  thanks,  and  then 
threading  the  narrow  staircase  of  the  house,  made  the  best 
of  his  way  to  St.  Mary  Axe. 


CHAPTER  II. 

My  heart  allows 
No  gums,  nor  amber,  but  pure  vows  ; 
There's  fire  at  breathing  of  your  name. 

And  do  not  fear — 

I  have  a  tear 
Of  joy  to  curb  any  immodest  flame. 

SniRLET. 

Oh,  sir,  the  wonder! 

A  beauty  ripe  as  harvest, 
Whose  skin  is  whiter  than  a  swan  all  over, 
Than  silver,  snow,  or  lilies!     A  soft  lip 
Would  tempt  you  to  eternity  of  kissing. 
And  flesh  that  melteth  in  the  touch  to  blood  ; 
Bright  as  your  gold,  and  lovely  as  your  gold. 

Bek  Jonsow. 

"  Francis  !  Francis  !"  screamed  out  a  little  old  man,  meanly 
apparelled,  as  he  stumped  about  with  his  stick  in  a  gloomy 
room,  that  appeared  from  its  deficiency  in  all  furniture,  save 
a  desk  with  a  tall  stool,  and  several  papers  and  parchments 
tied  up  and  placed  on  shelves  about  the  fire-place,  that  it  was 
an  office.  "  Francis  !  Francis,  I  say  !  A  murrain  on  thee 
for  a  lazy  varlet !  thou  art  sure  to  give  me  the  slip  as  soon 
as  my  back  is  turned.  Francis  !"  he  shouted  again,  and 
then  muttered  to  himself,  "  a  wasteful,  idle  good-for-naught, 
that  be  always  consuming  my  substance  or  misspending  my 
time ;  I  would  I  were  well  rid  of  him.  Francis,  I  say  !  Here 
have  I  been  bawling  about  the  house  for  the  better  part  of 
an  hour  searching  for  him — the  graceless  vagrant.  Francis  !" 
Thus  he  went  on,  growling  and  grumbling,  and  poking  into 
every  hole  and  corner,  with  a  physiognomy  most  unnaturally 
crabbed,  and  a  voice  feeble  and  shrewish.  At  last  he  sat 
himself  down  on  the  stool,  laid  aside  his  stick,  and  began 
examining  the  loose  papers  on  the  desk ;  first  putting  on  a 
pair  of  cracked  spectacles,  to  assist  his  sight.  Besides  being 
short  and  old — that  is,  of  some  sixty  years  or  more — he  was 
of  a  marvellous  spare  body ;  and  his  short  nose  and  pointed 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  "45 

chin,  siiiall  eyes,  and  saturnine  complexion,  did  not  appear 
to  more  advantage,  surrounded  by  a  scanty  beard  that  had 
become  quite  grizzled  by  age.  His  attire  was  of  the  home- 
liest— nay,  it  gave  evidence  of  more  than  ordinary  thrift — 
for  his  trunks  were  patched,  and  his  hose  were  darned,  and 
his  shoes  would  have  looked  all  the  better  had  they  been  in- 
debted to  the  craft  of  the  cordwainer.  As  for  his  doublet,  it 
was  of  a  most  ancient  fashion,  and  though  the  cloth  was  ori- 
ginally a  Lincoln  green,  it  had  become,  by  long  use,  and  ex- 
posure to  all  sorts  of  weather,  more  resembling  the  dingy 
hue  of  a  smoked  rafter. 

As  he  scrutinised  the  papers,  he  broke  out  into  such  vehe- 
ment ejaculations  as  these. 

"  This  account  not  finished  !  Here's  a  villanous  neglect 
of  my  interests  !  Here's  a  shameful  contempt  of  my  au- 
thority !  Here's  flat  contradiction  and  horrible  ingratitude  ! 
Oh,  the  abominable  and  most  pestilent  knave  !  whilst  he  eats 
me  out  of  house  and  home — costs  me  a  world  and  all  in  tai- 
loring and  other  charges — he  leaveth  my  business  to  take 
care  of  itself.  But  what  have  we  here"?"  he  exclaimed,  as  he 
commenced  examining  a  paper  that  had  evidently  been  con- 
cealed amongst  the  others.  "  Verses,  or  I'm  a  heathen  !" 
cried  he  in  a  tone  of  consternation.  "  Nay,  if  he  takes  to 
such  evil  courses,  it  must  needs  come  to  hanging."  Whilst 
he  was  intent  upon  perusing  with  angry  exclamations  the 
contents  of  the  object  that  had  excited  his  displeasure,  he 
suddenly  felt  a  hand  upon  his  shoulder,  and  turning  round 
with  no  small  degree  of  alarm  impressed  upon  his  unamiable 
features,  he  observed  a  young  female — by  her  dress  proba- 
bly of  the  middle  ranks.  She  wore  on  the  back  of  her  head 
a  small  velvet  hat,  from  under  which  escaped  several  long 
dark  tresses,  that,  parted  in  the  front,  set  off  to  great  advan- 
tage a  right  comely  face,  of  a  very  rich  complexion,  which 
was  made  infinitely  more  attractive,  by  a  pair  of  delicate 
dark  hazel  eyes,  peculiarly  seductive  in  their  expression. 
Her  age  might  be  somewhat  beyond  twenty ;  for  her  form 
was  fully  rounded,  and  moulded  into  .he  most  excellent  pro- 
portions, which  were  admirably  apparelled  in  a  neat  boddice 
and  a  dainty  farthingale.  In  truth,  she  was  a  damsel  pos- 
sessed of  all  the  perfections  of  womanhood. 

"  You  sweet  rogue,  how  you  frightened  me  !"  exclaimed 
the  old  man  ;  the  surprise  and  alarm  he  had  exhibited  in  his 

VOL.  r.  3 


26  SHAKSPEARE 

countenance  now  giving  place  to  pleasure  and  admiration, 
as  he  gazed  upon  the  smiling  beauty  before  him. 

"  But  what  hath  so  put  your  temper  into  vital  jeopardy, 
good  Gregory  Vellum?"  added  she  coaxingly,  as  she  leaned 
over  his  shoulder,  seemingly  the  better  to  observe  the  writing 
he  held  in  his  hand. 

"  Marry,  matter  enough,  sweetest,"  replied  he ;  "  that  un- 
dutiful  and  most  hardened  reprobate,  my  nephew — a  plague 
on  all  parents  that  cannot  provide  for  their  own  offspring, 
say  I — unmindful  of  the  great  expenses  he  hath  put  me  to, 
not  only  leaves  my  business  unattended,  whenever  I  am  not 
watching  his  movements,  but  passeth  the  times  he  should 
employ  for  my  advantages  in  destroying  my  paper,  pens, 
and  ink,  in  scribbling  a  whole  host  of  pernicious  verses." 

"  Oh,  the  profligate !"  cried  the  other,  as  if  marvelling 
greatly  ;  but  still  stretching  out  her  pretty  neck  to  see  what 
was  written  on  the  paper. 

"  I  am  glad  to  see  that  you  regard  his  atrocious  wicked- 
ness with  a  proper  detestation,"  repeated  the  other.  "But 
that  be  not  the  worst  of  his  villany.  Only  think  of  the  pes- 
tilent varlet  robbing  me  of  these  fine  bits  of  candle,  which  in 
my  search  for  him  a  moment  since  I  found  secreted  away  in 
his  chamber."  And  thereupon,  with  a  look  of  terrible  in- 
dignation, he  brought  out  of  his  vest,  carefully  wrapt  up  in 
an  old  rag,  three  candle-ends,  each  about  an  inch  long. 

"  What  wonderful  iniquity  !"  exclaimed  she,  giving  a  hasty 
glance  at  the  contents  of  the  rag,  and  then  again  quickly 
fixing  her  gaze  upon  the  paper. 

•'  Ay,  that  is  it  with  a  vengeance,"  replied  the  old  man. 
"  Now,  he  stealeth  these  pieces  of  candle — a  murrain  on  him 
for  his  abominable  dishonesty — and  burneth  them  when  I, 
his  too  indulgent  uncle,  am  fast  asleep;  and  there  he  sits, 
wearing  out  the  night  in  studying  a  most  unprofitable  lot  of 
heathenish  books.  But  take  this  trumpery  and  read  it, 
Mistress  Joanna,  for  he  writes  such  an  unnatural  fine  hand 
that  my  poor  eyes  ache  with  looking  at  it." 

The  fair  Joanna  took  the  paper  somewhat  eagerly,  and 
without  a  second  summons  or  a  word  of  reply,  stood  before 
the  old  man,  and,  as  he  wiped  his  spectacles  and  put  them 
away,  and  carefully  folded  up  the  candle-ends,  she  read 
what  follows. 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  27 

A  RIGHT  EARNEST  EXPOSTULATION. 

ADDRESSED    TO    HER    WHO    ^VILL    BEST    V^DERSTAUD    IT. 

Having-  so  oft  and  fondly  sung-  thy  praise, 

1  find  I  cannot  tliy  defects  poiirtray  ; 
My  pen  is  ready  for  most  flalt'ring  lays, 

Bat  censures  not  :  it  knoweth  not  the  way. 
Thou,  to  my  heart,  hast  g-iven  deep  offence, 
Yet  see  I  in  thee  naught  but  excellence. 

'Tis  passing"  strangle — but  pity  'tis  too  true  ! 

Thy  goodness  towards  me  doth  seem  to  halt ; 
Thing's  manifold  thou  dost  unkindly  do 

"^^'hich  pain  me  much — yet  know  I  not  Ihy  fault  ; 
For  ev'ry  day  thou  heapest  on  me  wrongs 
Find'st  ihou  a  perfect  creature  in  my  songs. 

Wherefore  is  this  ^ — 'Tis  thus — no  long  time  since 
Each  day,  each  hour,  each  moment  found  me  blest ; 

All  the  fond  love  thy  nature  could  evince, 
All  the  s%veet  goodness  of  thy  gentle  breast. 

Didst  thou  in  pure  devotion  render  mine, 

To  teach  me  what  of  earth  was  most  divine. 

As  a  rude  heathen  who  to  stock  and  stone 

Prostrates  his  soul  in  worship — when  he  knows 

The  Truth  that  reigns  almighty  and  alone. 
He  evermore  with  the  true  worship  bows; 

My  idols  I  cast  down,  and  knelt  and  prayed 

Where,  I  knew  veil,  my  hopes  of  Heaven  were  laid. 

Then  bountifully  were  thy  blessings  showered  ; 

And  I,  the  sole  receptacle  they  sought. 
Have  known  my  grateful  spirit  overpowered 

'Neath  the  delighting  burdens  thou  hast  brought. 
Oft  didst  thou  say  thou  could'st  love  none  but  me  ; 
And  much  I  strived  to  be  wortliy  thee. 

But  now — unhappy  chance  that  brought  this  turn! 

Thou  dost  deny  me  with  excuses  weak 
Tlie  fondnesses  for  which  my  soul  doth  yearn. 

And  dost  witliin  another's  eyeball  seek 
The  charm,  the  spirit,  and  the  joy  that  shone 
In  my  rapt  gaze  reflected  from  thine  own! 

Nothing  ihou  doest  doth  my  eyes  escape  ; 

I  know  thy  purposes — thy  thoughts  behold : 
Alas,  that  they  sliould  often  take  a  shape 

Which  multiplies  my  cares  a  thousand  fold  ! 
Alas,  that  thou  ait  changed! — alas,  indeed, 
A  [)lant  so  fair  should  bear  such  worthless  seed! 


28  SHAKSPEARE 

But  these  stem  words  on  thee  must  never  fall ; 

'Tis  my  uiikicky  fortune  that's  to  blame, 
In  my  own  hiart  I  censure  not  at  all ; 

For  all  thy  goodnesses  such  footing"  claim, 
That  thy  unkindnesses  there  find  no  place — 
There  is  no  room  for  things  that  seem  so  base. 

Cease  I  to  be  of  value  in  thy  sight  ? 

The  worth  1  owned  hath  vanislied  utterly: 
The  pebbles  upon  which  thy  feet  alight 

To  me  more  estimable  seem  than  I; 
For  as  the  moon  doth  borrow  all  her  shine. 
My  worthiness  hath  had  its  source  in  thine. 

Fault  none  of  mine  is  it  that  I  am  not 

So  precious  as  thy  love  hath  made  me  seem  ; 

Thou  prized  me  tlien  for  worth  I  had  not  got ; 
And  now  thou  do?^  my  meed  too  lowly  deem : 

Yet  if  thou  thinkest  me  such  sort  as  this. 

Am  I  the  very  poorest  thing  that  is. 

I  know  not  why  that  thou  should'st  now  prefer 

Another  to  a  heart  so  much  thine  own  : 
I'd  say  no  more  if  it  were  worthier, 

But  doubt  I  much  it  love  like  mine  hath  known. 
Oh,  would  I  could  forget  that  thou  wert  kind. 
Or  thou  would'st  act  more  truly  to  my  mind ! 

Remember  this — the  threat'ning  cataract 

That  loudest  roars,  is  use  for  no  man's  hands  ; 

And  'mid  thy  mind's  best  stores  retain  this  fact — 
The  humblest  waters  may  have  golden  pands  : 

Then  scorn  not  thou  the  lowliest  things  that  toil. 

The  treasures  of  the  earth  are  in  the  soil. 

"Flat  disobedience  and  rank  atheism  !"  exclaimed  the  old 
man,  after  he  had  Ij-^tened  with  evident  impatience  to  the 
perusal  of  the  poem — "Didst  ever  hear  of  such  heathenish 
notions  ]  not  to  say  that  I  understand  it — I'd  rather  be 
hanged  than  understand  any  such  villany.  But  what  think 
you  of  it,  Mistress  Joanna 7  I  see  the  horrible  impiety  of  it 
hath  quite  discomposed  you." 

In  truth,  v/hat  Gregory  Vellum  had  stated,  was  nigh  unto 
the  fact ;  for  Joanna  had  quickly  discovered  that  the  verses 
she  was  reading  were  written  for  her,  and  intended  for  her 
eye  alone ;  and  as  the  allusions  they  contained  struck  upon  her 
mind,  her  changing  colour  denoted  how  much  she  was 
moved  by  them.  When  she  came  to  the  end,  she  was,  for  a 
few  minutes  utterly  disconcerted.  She  seemed  lost  in  a 
maze  of  conflicting  thoughts ;  her  brow  became  dark,  and 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  29 

her  eyes  fixed,  and  so  completely  had  she  given  herself  up 
to  her  own  reflections,  that  she  heard  not  the  question  that 
had  been  put  to  her. 

"  What  say  you,  sweetheart  1"  said  he  familiarly,  laying 
his  hand  upon  her  shoulder.  "  Doth  not  your  hair  stand  on 
end  to  see  how  he  misuseth  me''  Why,  he  costs  me  a  mat- 
ter of  a  groat  a  week  for  his  diet — for  he  hath  the  appetite 
of  two  carriers — and  then — the  caitiff!  to  be  robbing  me  in 
this  monstrous  manner,  when  candles  are  threepence  to  the 
pound — and  to  be  scribbling  his  preposterous  atrocities  when 
stationary  is  at  so  high  a  cost.  By  my  troth,  he  hath  no 
more  virtue  than  an  addled  egg !  But  what  think  you  of 
tlie  verses  V 

*'  Sad  stuff,  Master  Vellum,"  she  replied,  having  perfectly 
recovered  from  her  confusion  ;  "  but  be  assured  there  is  no 
harm  in  them.  I  think  he  ought  not  to  be  encouraged  in 
these  practices ;  so  I  will  e'en  take  the  paper  with  me,  and 
tear  it  to  pieces  as  I  go  along." 

"  Ah,  do,  good  Joanna  !  show  upon  it  proper  detestation 
of  such  thorough  and  most  inconceivable  villany,"  said  he,  as 
he  observed  her  take  possession  of  the  poem.  "  But  I  must 
turn  the  rogue  out  of  doors  ;  he  will  ruin  me  straight  an  I 
do  not ;  and  I  would  as  lief  live  among  savages  as  exist 
with  a  knave  who  plundereth  me  by  wholesale  of  such  es- 
timable candies'  ends,  and  destroys  me  so  many  fair  sheets 
of  paper  in  inditing  matters  it  would  be  a  scandal  to  under- 
stand." 

"JVay,  good  Master  Vellum,"  observed  his  fair  com- 
panion, "  do  not  be  so  harsh  with  him.  He  is  but  young  ; 
and  boys  have  a  natural  tendency  for  the  perpetration  of 
these  offences.  When  he  attaineth  the  becoming  gravity  of 
his  uncle,  he  will  give  over  all  such  primitive  delinquencies." 

"  Dost  think  so,  sweetest  ]"  inquired  the  old  man  eagerly, 
as  with  a  most  preposterous  leer,  he  thrust  his  ungraceful 
countenance  close  to  her  beautiful  face.  "  You  are  a  woman 
of  admirable  discretion,  and  of  a  truly  excellent  fancy.  Dost 
despise  these  raw  youths  ;  and  could'st  affect  a  man  of 
more  mature  years  1" 

"  Ay,  marry,  and  why  not  1"  inquired  she  very  innocently. 

♦'  You  are  a  most  excellent  wench  !"  exclaimed  he  with 
unaffected  delight,  as  he  seemed  to  feast  his  eyes  upon  the 
graces  of  her  countenance — "  one  of  ten  thousand.  Think 
you,  you  could  rest  content  with  an  old  man — nay,  one  not 

3* 


30  SHAKSPEARE 

SO  old  cither — wlio  would  never  be  gadding  from  you  like 
your  young  gallants,  none  of  whom  are  ever  to  be  trusted 
out  of  sight,  but  would  nourish  you,  and  cherish  you,  and 
fondle  you,  and  make  much  of  you,  and  none  but  you  ;  and 
make  you  mistress  of  all  his  gold,  his  house,  and  chattels  1" 

"  Ay,  marry,  why  should  I  not  ?"  repeated  she  in  the  same 
tone. 

"  Then  you  shall  have  me,  sweetheart !"  cried  the  old 
man  in  an  ecstacy;  and  seeming,  by  the  unsteady  move- 
ment of  his  hands  with  great  difficulty  to  refrain  from  throw- 
ing his  arms  around  her  neck.  "  I  have  loved  you  for  some 
months,  sweetest!  and  all  the  little  gifts  I  have  bestowed 
upon  you,  vrere  to  show  you  how  enamoured  I  was  of  your 
most  blessed  condition.  And  I  will  tell  you  a  secret  my  love  ! 
my  dove  !  my  angel! — my  paragon  of  womanhood !"  con- 
tinued he,  fidgeting  about,  and  gloating  upon  her  with  his 
lack-lustre  eyes  as  if  he  were  bewitciied.  "  Although  I  seem 
so  poor — yet  am  I  richer  than  I  seem.  Ay,  am  I.  I  have 
store  of  gold — bright  yellow  gold  !  Hush,  there's  no  one 
listening,  is  there  3"  he  all  at  once  exclaimed,  as,  fearing  he 
had  said  too  much,  he  gave  a  restless  glance  around  the 
room. 

"  Not  a  soul,"  replied  Joanna,  still  retaining  the  same  un- 
moved countenance. 

"Yes,  sweetheart,"  he  continued,  every  now  and  then 
giving  a  suspicious  glance  about  him,  "  I  have  saved,  and 
scraped,  and  hoarded  up  a  goodly  store  of  wealth,  the  result 
of  infinite  painstaking,  and  exceeding  self  denial ;  and  you 
shall  enjoy  it ;  you,  my  life,  my  queen  !  Oh,  how  I  long  to 
hug  you  in  my  most  fond  embrace  !" 

♦'  Softly,  softly,  Gregory  Vellum,"  exclaimed  she,  quietly 
disengaging  his  arms  from  her  neck  :  for,  unable  any  longer 
to  resist  his  impatient  wishes,  he  had  endeavoured,  as  our 
great  dramatist  hath  it,  to  suit  the  action  to  the  word. 
"  Modest  maids  are  not  to  be  won  in  such  boisterous  fashion, 
and  it  little  becometn  the  respectability  of  your  deportment 
to  exhibit  such  unseemly  violence.  As  for  your  love,  you 
must  prove  it  by  something  besides  words.  You  have  pro- 
fessed for  some  time  to  be  hugely  taken  with  me ;  but  all 
professions  are  naught  when  unaccompanied  by  that  which 
proveth  their  value.  You  are  right  liberal  in  promises,  but 
your  performance,  as  yet,  hath  been  but  scanty.  If  you 
have  such  store  of  gold  as  you  talk  of"^ — 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  31 

"  Hush  !  hush  !  not  so  loud,  I  prytheo,  sweetheart," 
whispered  the  old  man,  going  cautiously  to  the  door,  on 
tiptoe,  opening,  and  looking  out,  and  closing  it  carefully 
after  him. 

'•  Of  a  surety  you  would  act  more  generously  towards 
me  than  you  have  yet  done,"  continued  Joanna,  without  at- 
tending to  the  interruption  ;  "  your  true  lovers  are  always 
bountiiL.].     Now  there  is  a  certain  Venetian  chain" — 

"  Ay,  tis  of  gold,  and  of  most  admirable  workmanship," 
exclaimed  Gregory'  Vellum,  "  it  cost  me  fifty  crowns,  or  I'm 
a  villanous  Jew.  I  did  promise  it  you,  I  remember  well ; 
but  if  it  please  you,  sweetest,"  continued  the  old  man,  sid- 
ling up  to  her,  and  leering  in  her  face,  "  it  shall  be  yours  for 
a  kiss.     Accept  you  the  conditions  ]" 

"  For  5'our  sake,  I  v.ill  say  yes,  good  Gregory  Vellum," 
replied  she  without  hesitation. 

"It  shall  be  yours — it  shall  be  yours,"  cried  the  old  man, 
chafing  his  hands,  and  every  limb  of  him  shaking  with  ex- 
citement. "  Now  give  me  the  kiss,  my  heart  !  my  soul  !  my 
life  !  give  me  the  kiss,  I  prythee." 

"  The  chain  first,  Gregory  Vellum,"  said  the  other  quietly, 
as  she  retreated  from  his  proffered  caresses. 

"  Ay,  but  wait  awhile — v/ait  awliile  sweetheart,  and  I  will 
fetch  it,"  said  he,  hastening  to  the  door,  in  an  agony  of  im- 
patience, and  immediately  returning  to  her  side,  before  he 
had  got  half  way ;  "  but  when  shall  be  the  happy  day  1 — 
name  it,  name  it,  excellent  Joanna,  for  I  do  long  for  the  time 
when  we  two  shall  be  one." 

"  W^e  will  talk  of  that  anon  ; — but,  the  chain,"  replied  she. 

*'  I  fly,  sweetest,"  cried  the  old  man,  shuffling  off  towards 
the  door  ;  but,  just  as  he  was  about  to  open  it,  he  came 
back  hastily,  with  his  eyes  glistening,  and  his  leaden  coun- 
tenance all  of  a  glow,  "  we  will  spend  all  the  yellow  gold ; 
we  will  live  a  right  merry  life.  I'faith  you  shall  have  all 
that  heart  can  desire,  you  shall,  you  shall,  you  shall,  my 
queen  of  beauty  !" 

♦•  The  chain,  worthy  Gregory  Vellum,"  repeated  his  fair 
companion,  as  she  eluded  his  eager  advances. 

"  I  am  gone,"  said  he,  again  hastening  off;  but,  before  he 
opened  the  door,  he  turned  round,  clasped  his  skinny  hands 
together,  and  turning  up  the  whites  of  his  eyes,  exclaimed, 
"  Indeed,  I  iove  tiiee  infinitely." 

•'  That  for  thy  love,"  cried  she,  spitting  on  the  floor,  with 


32  SHAKSPEARE 

every  mark  of  indignation  and  disgust,  as  soon  as  slic  heard 
him  rapidly  ascending  the  stairs — "  that  for  thy  love,  thou 
most  abhorred  and  infamous  old  dotard  :  but  I  will  use  thee. 
For  the  sake  of  one  whose  little  finger  is  dearer  to  me  than 
thy  old  moth-eaten  carcase,  I  will  make  thee  bring  out  thy 
long-hoarded  gold,  and  squander  it  right  liberally."  Then, 
hearing  a  noise  at  the  door  which  opened  into  the  street, 
she  looked  to  see  who  it  was.  The  same  modest  youth 
entered  to  whom  the  reader  hath  been  introduced,  at  Master 
Shakspeare  his  lodging,  on  the  Bankside. 

"  What,  Joanna  !"  he  exclaimed,  hastening  towards  her, 
with  a  most  smiling  countenance — "  nay,  this  is  a  pleasure 
I  dreamt  not  of." 

"  Tis  I,  Francis,"  she  replied,  allowing  him  to  take  her 
hand,  which  he  passionately  pressed  to  his  lips  ;  "  but  thy 
cheek  is  flushed,  and  thine  eye  unsteady.    What  ails  thee  J" 

"  Nothing,  dearest,"  said  he,  "  1  have  been  detained,  and 
I  thought  my  uncle  would  be  angered  with  me  for  stopping  ; 
for  thou  knowest  how  easy  he  is  of  provocation,  so  I  ran  ail 
the  way  home." 

"  Thou  hadst  best  make  haste,  and  conceal  thyself  some- 
where for  the  nonce,"  responded  she,  "for  thy  uncle  hath 
just  left  me,  meaning  to  retuin  straight ;  and  he  is  out  of  all 
temper  with  thee,  for  sundry  offences  which  hesaith  thou  hast 
committed.  So  go  thy  ways  and  let  me  see  thee  soon,  for 
I  have  much  to  say  to  thee." 

"  I  will  do  thy  bidding  lovingly  ;  yet  it  is  a  most  regretful 
thing  to  be  obliged  to  leave  thee,"  he  said,  as  with  reluctant 
steps,  and  slow,  he  made  towards  the  door.  Then,  keeping 
his  eyes  upon  her  till  the  last  moment,  eloquent  with  a  most 
impassioned  tenderness,  he  left  the  room. 

"  Poor  boy  I"  murmured  she,  as  with  a  countenance  full  of 
melancholy  interest,  she  watched  his  departure — "  poor  boy! 
he  little  knoweth  how  many  distasteful  things  I  do  for  his 
dear  sake." 

At  that  moment  Gregory  Vellum  was  heard  upon  the 
stairs.  There  was  a  marked  difference  betwixt  his  goinjr 
and  his  returning;  for,  whereas,  in  the  first  instance,  he  had 
galloped  like  an  ostrich,  now  he  was  heard  descending,  step 
by  step,  so  slow  that  it  would  not  be  a  great  stretch  of  fancy 
to  say,  he  might  have  fallen  asleep  between  whiles.  Presently 
he  opened  the  door,  and  instead  of  hastening  towards  Joanna, 
with  enamoured  looks  and  impatient  gestures,  as  might  hav-e 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  33 

been  eynectcd  from  his  previous  behaviour,  he  advanced,  at 
a  laggard's  pace,  with  his  eyes  fixed  upon  a  glittering  chain 
of  gold,  that  he  kept  turning  about  in  liis  hand,  and  with  a 
face  in  which  the  demon  of  avarice  had  evidently  got  the 
txjtter  of  the  demon  of  sensuality. 

"How  now!"  exclaimed  his  companion,  as  she  noticed 
tiis  approach,  "  you  went  out  as  quick  of  motion  as  a  young 
<;olt — you  creep  in  with  the  preposterous  tediousness  of  a 
snail." 

"  It  cost  me  fifty  crowns  !"  remarked  he,  still  keeping  his 
eyes  on  the  precious  metal,  as  if  there  was  a  fascination  in 
it  he  could  not  withstand. 

"Well,  and  what  then?"  inquired  Joanna;  "that  is  nothing 
to  the  store  of  gold  of  which  you  mean  to  make  such  gene- 
rous use,  you  know." 

"  Ay,  said  I  so '."  said  he  quickly,  and  with  a  monstrous 
serious  look,  "  no,  'twas  a  mistake.  Gold  !  I  have  no  gold ; 
where  should  I  get  goldl  I  am  poor,  miserably  poor,  as  you 
see.  'Tis  a  most  admirable  chain,  and  of  right  delicate  work- 
manship," he  continued,  feasting  his  eyes  upon  it,  as  it 
glittered  in  his  hand. 

"  I'faith  your  love  is  of  a  most  miserly  disposition,"  re- 
sponded she,  smiling  most  bewitchingiy  all  the  time,  "  it  pre- 
ferreth  a  sorry  chain  to  the  object  of  its  pretended  adoration. 
By  my  troth,  if  I  marry  you  after  this,  I'll  vex  myself  into 
fiddle-strings." 

"  Ah  !  talked  you  of  marrying,  sweetest  V  asked  the  old 
man  eagerly,  as  he  raised  his  eyes  to  her  face;  and,  im- 
mediately they  rested  upon  her  well-favoured  countenance, 
Ihey  again  began  to  twinkle  with  delight.  "  Truly  have  you 
the  softest  and  most  insinuating  looks,  and  your  smile  is 
most  absolute  and  irresistible.  Your  eyes,  sweetheart,  are 
as  bright  as  this  Venetian  gold — but  it  cost  me  fifty  crowns; 
and  the  pouting  ripeness  of  your  lips  hath  as  much  tempta- 
tion as  the  polish  upon  the  links ;  and,  in  good  truth,  'tis  a 
most  rare  and  costly  trinket."  And  thereupon  he  continued, 
now  fixing  his  eyes  upon  the  chain,  and  gloating  upon  its 
brilliance;  and  anon  raising  them  to  the  face  of  his  fair  com- 
panion, as  if  doating  upon  its  beauty.  It  was  evident  that 
there  was  a  struggle  in  his  soul,  about  parting  with  his  pro- 
perty. He  longed  for  a  caress  from  the  seductive  Joanna; 
but  the  Venetian  trinket  had  wound  itself  round  his  heart  so 
strongly,  that  he  could  not  bring  himself  to  part  with  it. 


34  8HAKSPEARE 

Several  times  it  appeared  that  her  soft  glances  had  subdued 
his  selfish  nature;  but  just  as  he  was  on  the  point  of  giving 
up  the  object  of  his  miserly  regard,  a  look  at  its  glittering 
links  would  again  awake  his  avarice,  and  he  would  hesitate 
about  its  disposal. 

"  Good  morning  to  you,  Gregory  Vellum,"  said  Joanna,  as 
she  turned  upon  her  heel,  with  the  intention  of  departing  by 
the  door  that  led  into  the  street. 

"  Nay,  nay,  sweetest !"  exclaimed  the  old  man,  as  he 
hastened  after  her,  and  held  her  by  the  arm,  "  you  go  not 
yet ;  I  part  not  with  you  in  this  way.  Shall  I  have  the  kiss 
you  promised  me  1" 

"  By  my  troth  you  shall,"  replied  she  ;  "  but  why  ask 
you  ]  You  love  your  paltry  gold  better  than  me,  or  you 
would  seem  less  loth  to  part  with  it ;  so  I'll  e'en  have  none 
of  you.'* 

"  There  is  the  chain,  sweetheart,"  said  he,  eagerly  throw- 
ing it  round  her  neck,  "  and  now  for  the  kiss — the  kiss — the 
kiss — my  angel  upon  earth  ! — the  kiss,  sweet  Mistress 
Joanna ;  throw  your  soft  arms  around  me,  and  press  me 
your  delicate  lips." 

"  There's  my  hand,"  quietly  replied  she,  as,  all  impatience 
and  eagerness,  spite  of  her  retreating,  he  advanced  towards 
her,  intent  upon  having  her  in  his  embrace. 

"  Your  handV  he  exclaimed,  with  some  surprise,  as  he 
still  strove  to  approach  her  more  closely,  "  'tis  your  rosy 
mouth  that  I  would  have,  sweetheart." 

"  Nay,  nay  ;  a  bargain  is  a  bargain,"  said  she,  gravely ; 
"  you  gave  me  a  chain,  and  I  promised  you  should  have  a 
kiss  for  it.  There  was  nothing  said  about  my  lips ;  and  I 
intend  only,  as  a  great  favour,  that  you  should  kiss  my 
hand  ;  so,  fulfil  your  contract : — here's  my  hand." 

At  this,  nothing  could  exceed  the  change  that  took  place 
in  the  old  man's  countenance.  His  delight  and  impatience 
forsook  him  of  a  sudden.  From  being  exceeding  restless  in  all 
his  limbs,  he  stood  as  still  as  a  stone,  and  he  looked  perfectly 
confounded,  and  unable  to  say  a  word. 

"  Well,  if  you  will  not,  mayhap  another  time  will  suit  you 
better,"  observed  Mistress  Joanna,  very  courteously,  as  she 
proceeded  towards  the  door.  "I  thank  you  for  the  chain 
very  heartily  ;  'tis  a  gift  worthy  of  the  gravity  of  your  aflfec- 
tions ;  and  I  know  not,  if  you  go  on  making  a  show  of  such 
liberal  behaviour,  to  what  extent  you  may  be   rewarded. 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  35 

You  ouglit,  however,  to  be  aware,  that  a  prudent  woman 
granteth  but  small  favours  at  first;  she  will  not  give  largely, 
or  she  may  be  undone  straight.  I  wish  you  an  increasing 
generosity ;  and  with  this  desire,  worthy  Gregory  Vellum,  I 
do  most  delightedly  take  my  leave  of  you."  And  thereupon 
she  made  a  curtsey  to  the  ground,  and,  with  one  of  the 
sweetest  of  smiles,  departed  from  the  office. 

"  Fool !  dolt !  idiot  !  madman  1"  cried  he  vehemently,  as 
he  beat  his  head  with  his  clenched  fists,  "  to  be  tricked, 
cozened,  and  imposed  upon,  in  this  barefaced  manner,  by  a 
woman.  Oh  !  Gregory  Vellum,  Gregory  Vellum,  what  a 
very  ass  thou  art !  My  chain  of  Venice  gold  is  lost  irre- 
trievably, that  I  took  for  a  debt  of  fifty  crowns,  and  for 
which  Master  Ingot,  the  goldsmith,  would  have  given  me 
forty  at  any  time.  Oh  !  fool,  that  can  only  cozen  boys  and 
folks  afar  off,  thou  art  cheated  past  all  redemption  !"  Then 
he  went  and  sat  upon  the  stool,  and  leaned  his  head  upon 
his  hand,  apparently  in  a  monstrous  melancholy  humour. 
"  Fifty  crowns  gone  for  nothing.  Oh  !"  exclaimed  he  fran- 
tically, beating  his  heels  against  the  stool,  and  then  wringing 
his  hands  ;  "  what  a  poor,  wretched,  miserable  lunatic  am  I, 
to  think  of  courting  at  my  time  of  day.  Such  a  brilliant 
chain!  Oh!  most  preposterous  idiot!  fif^y  crowns!  Oh! 
thou  incomprehensible  blockhead  !  I  could  beat  out  my 
brains  with  a  wisp  of  straw,  out  of  very  vexation."  And 
thereupon  he  jumped  off  the  stool,  being  perfectly  restless, 
and  unable  to  contain  himself,  and  did  begin  to  shuffle  up 
and  down  the  room  with  his  stick,  flinging  himself  about, 
ejaculating  all  sorts  of  condemnations  upon  his  folly  and  in- 
sanity, and  looking  with  a  physiognomy  as  woful  and  en- 
raged as  ever  miser  exhibited  at  the  loss  of  a  part  of  his 
gain. 

Presently  he  stood  still  of  a  sudden  ;  for  a  voice — a  rich, 
clear,  mellifluous  voice — was  heard  singing  the  following 
words : — 

"  I  gave  my  love  a  posie  gay, 

Of  all  the  sweetest  flowers  in  May, 

And  bade  her,  till  their  leaves  might  die,  * 

Upon  her  breast  to  let  them  lie. 

'  rfaith,'  quoth  she, 

*  Are  these  for  me^ 
Like  thy  sweet  words,  how  sweet  they  be. 

But  if  thy  maid 

Thy  love  should  aid, 
Oh!  bring  her  gifts  that  never  fade.'  '* 


36  SHAKSPEARB 

"  A  murrain  on  him  !  that's  my  pestilent  nephew,"  ex- 
claimed the  old  man,  in  high  dudgeon  ;  "  but  I  marvel  infi- 
nitely how  he  got  in  ; — or  hath  he  been  in  the  house  all  the 
time  ?"    He  stopped,  for  the  singer  proceeded. 

"  I  gave  my  love  a  riband  rare, 
To  tie  around  her  silken  hah*. 

*  Sweetheart,'  quoth  I,  '  long  may  it  grace 
So  brave,  so  proud  a  resting  place.* 

*  Ah  me,'  she  cried. 
And  looked  and  sighed, 

*  In  this  bright  gaud  thy  looks  I've  spied  ; 

But  see !  'twill  fray 
And  wear  away— 
Oh !  bring  me  gifts  that  last  for  aye.'  " 

"  A  pernicious  varlet,  will  he  never  have  done  with  his 
coxcombical  singing  1"  cried  Gregory  Vellum :  but  the 
singer  continued  his  song. 

"  I  gave  my  love  a  golden  ring, 
To  prize  above  each  meaner  thing, 
And  on  her  finger  bade  it  rest 
AVhilst  truth  had  footing  in  her  breast. 

'  Dear  heart,  I  vow. 
Thou  hast  me  now,' 
Said  she,  all  blushing  to  her  brow; 

*  The  sterling  ore 
Lasts  evermore, 

And  binds  fond  hearts,  unbound  before.' " 

"  Oh  !  thf  unwhipped  rogue  !  he  sings  of  love  at  his  age," 
exclaimed  the  old  miser,  in  seeming  consternation.  "  Well, 
who  can  doubt  the  wickedness  of  the  world  after  this  !  But 
I'll  trounce  him,  I'll  warrant  me.  Francis,"  he  bawled,  as 
loud  as  he  could,  first  opening  the  door,  that  he  might  be 
heard,  and  then  muttering  to  himself,  and  crying  out  by 
turns,  proceeded  thus — "A  young  profligate,  to  think  of 
singing  love  ditties  at  his  time  of  life ; — was  ever  such 
iniquity  in  this  world  ?  Francis !"  again  screamed  he, 
with  all  the  strength  of  his  lungs.  "  An'  I  do  not  make  him 
hear,  I'll  make  him  feel.     Francis !  Francis !  Francis  !  I  say." 

"  Did  you  call,  uncle?"  said  the  youth  quietly,  as  he  pre- 
sented himself  at  the  door. 

"  Call,  sirrah  !"  replied  the  old  man,  shaking  with  rage — 
"  call,  varlet !  have  I  not  been  bawhng,  and  squalling,  and 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  37 

tearing  my  lungs  piecemeal  after  thee  for  these  two  hours 
past." 

"  I  did  not  hear  you  till  this  moment,  or  I  should  have 
come  down,"  observed  the  youth. 

"  Hear  me !"  exclaimed  Master  Vellum  vehemently, 
"  how  couldst  thou  expect  to  hear  me,  thou  reprobate ! 
when  thou  wert  making  the  place  ring  with  thy  amorous 
ballads]  Be  that  proper  matter  to  sing  at  an  honest 
scrivener's  ?  Why,  the  passengers  will  take  the  house  for  a 
bagnio.  Fie  upon  thee !  when  I  was  of  thy  age  I  sung 
psalms  and  godly  hymns — but  I  was  noted  as  a  youth  of  a 
most  modest  discretion.  What  art  thou  noted  for,  I  won- 
der 1  for  impudency,  disobediency,  and  all  manner  of  dis- 
honesty." 

"  Dishonesty,  uncle !"  said  Master  Francis,  with  unaffected 
surprise. 

"  Ay,  dishonesty,  sirrah  !  Look  here  !"  and  he  took  from 
his  vest  the  dirty  rag  that  hath  previously  been  described, 
and  begun  carefully  to  unfold  it — "  here  be  a  foul  robbery 
thou  hast  committed.  How  didst  get  these  fine  pieces  of 
candle  I  found  in  thy  room  T  Hast  no  shame  ?  What,  pilfer 
from  thy  poor  yet  too  liberal  uncle,  when  candles  stand  me 
in  fifty  crowns  to  the  pound  !" 

"  Fifty  crowns,  uncle  !"  exclaimed  his  nephew,  with  in- 
creasing astonishment,  "  why,  fbought  them  myself  of  To- 
bias Mottle,  tiie  chandler  over  the  way,  and  then  they  had 
only  rose  to  threepence  for  the  pound,  in  consequence  of 
the  exceeding  scarcity  of  kitchen  stuff." 

"  Well,  no  matter,  sirrah,  no  matter  !"  cried  the  old  man, 
in  no  way  abating  his  passion,  "  thou  hast  robbed  me — that 
is  manifest.  Thou  hast  taken  advantage  of  the  natural 
generosity  of  my  disposition,  and  art  in  the  habit  of  con- 
suming my  substance  without  my  privity.  I  tell  thee  it  be 
infamous — I  tell  thee  it  be  a  felony — I  tell  thee  it  be  hanging, 
whipping,  and  the  pillory.  What  a  monster  of  ingratitude 
thou  art,  to  defraud  me  of  such  exquisite  gold  of  Venice  of 
which  they  are  made." 

"  Gold  of  Venice,  uncle !"  exclaimed  the  youth,  almost 
inclined  to  laugh  at  the  idea  ;  "  nay,  if  they  be  not  made  of 
the  most  notorious  tallow,  I  am  a  heathen." 

"  Tush  !  I  forgot,"  cried  Gregory  Vellum,  striking  his 
stick  violently  against  the  floor.  "  But  it  availeth  thee  no- 
thing.    Thou  art  a  thief." 

VOL.  !.  4 


38  SHAKSrEARE 

"  I  am  no  thief,  sir,"  said  the  youth,  reddening  in  the  facej 
•'  I  do  confess  that  I  took  what  you  have  in  your  hand,  that 
I  might  have  light  to  assist  me  in  my  studies ;  but  if  the 
loss  grieve  you,  they  cannot  be  worth  more  tiian  a  half- 
penny, and  you  may  either  keep  them,  or  I  will  pay  you  for 
them." 

"  Pay,  pay !  why,  how  now  1  who  talks  of  paying  ? 
where  dost  get  the  money  from,  fellow  1"  rapidly  inquired 
the  old  man,  fixing  on  his  nephew  a  searching  and  inquisi- 
tive look  ;  "  and  how  earnest  thou  by  those  heathenish  books 
of  which  thou  hast  such  goodly  store  V 

"I  had  them  from  a  friend,"  replied  Master  Francis,  "  and 
I  am  obliged  to  be  indebted  to  the  same  quarter  for  such  as- 
sistance as  my  necessities  require — which  are  caused  by 
those  who  should  have  taken  care  that  I  lack  nothing." 

*'  Lack  ! — what  dost  lack  ?  thou  ungrateful  vagabond  !" 
demanded  his  uncle  angrily,  yet  not  ill  pleased  that  such 
things  were  not  done  at  his  cost,  "  do  I  not  find  thee  a  most 
comfortable  home  1 — do  I  not  keep  thee  in  excellent  wearing 
apparel! — and  as  for  eating,  didst  thou  not  eat  right  heartily 
yesterday  at  dinner  of  a  most  princely  dish  of  cabbage  and 
bacon?" 

"As  for  the  home,  uncle,"  said  the  youth,  "your  penu- 
riousness  and  ill-temper  mal^e  it  any  thing  but  comfortable. 
For  the  clothing — when  you  have  worn  your  doublet 
threadbare,  you  think  it  good  enough  for  me ; — as  for  my 
dinner  yesterday,  it  consisted  of  a  piece  of  rusty  bacon, 
scarcely  big  enough  for  the  baiting  of  a  rat-trap,  with  about 
as  much  cabbage  as  might  serve  for  a  caterpillar's  break- 
fast." 

"  Oh,  thou  unnatural  prodigal!"  exclaimed  Master  Vellum, 
lifting  up  his  hands  and  eyes  in  amazement.  "  This  comes 
of  writing  verses  !  this  comes  of  singing  love  songs !  O' 
my  life,  I  have  a  monstrous  inclination  to  beat  thee." 

"  You  had  better  not,  uncle,"  said  the  other  calmly. 

"Nay,  but  I  will,  caitiff!"  replied  he,  lifting  up  his  stick 
and  approaching  his  nephew  threateningly. 

"  If  you  do,"  said  Master  Francis,  his  face  now  as  pale  as 
it  a  moment  since  was  rubicund,  "if  you  do,  I'll  give  you 
such  a  shaking  you  never  had  since  you  were  born." 

"Hub — bub — boo!"  exclaimed  the  old  man,  starting 
back,  stammering,  several  paces,  as  if  the  threat  had  taken 
h4s  breath  away;  and  there  he  stood,  with  stick  uphfted 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  39 

and  mouth  open,  looking  the  very  picture  of  horror  and 
surprise.  In  fact,  the  conduct  of  his  nephew  had  come 
upon  him  with  a  most  perfect  astonishment  ;  for  the  natural 
modesty  of  the  youth's  disposition  had  hitlierto  made  him 
bear  his  uncle's  ill  humours  with  meekness  ;  but  possibly 
the  wine  he  had  drunk  with  Master  Shakspeare  had  put  a 
bolder  spirit  into  his  nature.  There,  however,  did  he  stand, 
pale  and  melancholy,  yet  resolute;  with  arms  folded,  and 
eyes,  with  an  unmoved  fixedness,  resting  upon  his  terrified 
kinsman. 

*'  Oh,  the  monstrousness  of  the  age !"  at  last  ejaculated 
Gregory  Vellum,  "  Oh,  the  horrid  villany  !  But  thou  shalt 
troop  for  it.  I  will  get  rid  of  thee  straight.  Thou  shalt  find 
other  uncles  to  give  thee  houseroom,  and  feed  and  clothe 
thee,  thou  pestilent  varlet !  for  I'll  have  none  of  thee.  Was 
it  not  enough  that  thou  shouldst  rob  me  of  fifty  crowns^ 
tush  !  what  was  I  a  saying  1 — of  so  much  excellent  candle 
— but  that  thou  shouldst  threaten  to  give  me  a  shaking  of 
right  exquisite  Venetian  workmanship — Alas  !  these  villanies 
have  undone  me !  I  know  not  what  I  say."  Then  wildly 
knocking  the  palm  of  his  hand  against  his  forehead,  the  old 
man  rushed  out  of  the  room,  shouting  "  Oh,  my  fifty  crowns  ! 
my  fifty  crowns !"  leaving  Master  Francis  in  as  great  a 
■wonder  as  Master  Francis  had  a  moment  since  put  his  mi- 
serly kinsman. 


CHAPTEPx,  III. 

Love  me  not  for  comely  grace. 
For  my  pleasing-  eye  or  face. 
Nor  for  any  outward  part, 
Nor  for  my  too  constant  heart. 
For  those  may  fail  or  turn  to  ill, 

And  thus  our  love  shall  sever  ; 
Keep  therefore  a  true  woman's  eye. 
And  love  me  still — yet  know  not  wliy — 
So  hast  thou  the  same  reason  still 

To  dote  upon  me  ever.  "Wilbye. 

A  combination  and  a  form  indeed, 
Where  every  god  did  seera  to  set  his  seal 
To  give  the  world  assurance  of  a  man. 

SUAKSFEARE. 

It  was  in  a  private  closet  in  the  queen's  palace  of  White- 
hall, that  two  of  her  majesty's  maids  of  honour  were  assist- 


40  SHAKSPEARE 

ing  each  other  in  attiring,  and  were  conversing  with  that 
confidence  that  denoteth  perfect  friendship.  The  one,  the 
taller  of  the  two,  was  of  a  most  majestic  shape,  with  a  coun- 
tenance of  exquisite  softness,  impressed  with  a  touch  of  re- 
flection, that  at  times  made  her  seem  somewhat  of  a  reserved 
and  melancholy  disposition :  but  in  truth  she  was  a  most 
handsome  woman,  and  of  an  excellent  fair  complexion.  The 
other  appeared  both  shorter  and  younger;  her  face  was 
dark,  yet  did  the  roses  bloom  in  it  most  becomingly ;  an 
arched  mouth  she  had,  dimpled  on  one  cheek,  and  as  for 
her  eyes,  they  were  the  most  laughing,  roguish,  brilliant 
pair  of  twinklers  that  ever  pretty  wench  was  blessed  withaK 
Of  these  fair  damsels,  the  first  was  Elizabeth  Throckmorton, 
and  the  latter,  her  cousin  Alice. 

"  What  dost  sigh  for,  Bess  T*  suddenly  inquired  the 
youngest.  "  O'  my  troth,  thou  hast  appeared  very  woful 
of  late." 

"Did  I  sigh,  Alice?"  asked  the  other,  dejectedly. 

"  Sigh,  coz !"  repeated  Alice.  "  No  old  bellows  with  fifty- 
holes  in  it  ever  breathed  with  so  undone  a  sadness.  This 
comes  of  being  in  love,  Bess.  Art  sighing  for  Sir  Walter 
Raleigh?  I  see  by  thy  blushing  I  have  hit  it.  Well,  Heaven 
help  thy  five  wits,  that  can  find  matter  for  sadness  in  things 
that  give  me  such  infinite  matter  for  mirth.  And  what  be 
this  same  animal,  called  man  ?  A  thing  to  laugh  at — a  joke 
that  goes  upon  two  legs — a  walking  piece  of  provocation  for 
women  to  break  a  jest  upon.  Is  he  not  a  most  absurd  crea- 
ture? rfaith,  us  poor  maids  would  have  all  died  of  melan- 
choly long  since,  if  the  men  had  not  kept  us  alive  by  afford- 
ing us  such  exquisite  subjects  for  sport.  And  then  the  airs 
they  give  themselves.  Didst  ever  see  a  peacock  in  the  sunl 
he  spreads  himself  out  just  like  your  man  animal ;  and  struts 
about,  and  looks  as  preposterously  fine  and  proud.  Poor 
fool !  a  goose  would  look  as  v,'e]l  liad  it  the  same  feathers. 
And,  like  the  clown  in  the  play,  he  taketh  a  world  of  pains 
to  get  well  laughed  at  by  his  audience.  Well,  I  think  I  lack 
not  gratitude.  I  owe  a  bountiful  load  of  thanks  to  these  our 
estimable  benefactors,  and  all  that  my  poor  wit  can  do  to 
render  them  as  ridiculous  as  they  seek  to  be,  they  shall 
have.  They  call  themselves  lords  of  the  creation  too,  when 
they  have  about  as  much  omnipotence  as  a  cockle-shell. 
Whatever  lords  they  may  be  of,  they  shall  never  be  lords  of 
my  bed-chamber,  I  promise  you  ;  for,  before  I  marry  a  man» 
I'll  give  my  virginity  to  an  owl." 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  41 

"f*  Alice,  Alice !  how  thou  dost  run  on,"  exclaimed  Mistress 
Throckmorton. 

"  Ay,  forsooth,  had  I  no  legs  I  could  run  on  with  such  a 
subject,"  replied  her  cousin,  laughing  merrily.  *'  But  how 
dost  like  the  setting  of  tiiis  sleeve?" 

"  It  is  of  a  pretty  fashion,  and  of  the  most  dainty  fabric," 
said  the  other,  with  a  careless  glance  at  the  dress, 

"  That  all  thou  canst  say  about  it  ?"  responded  her  com- 
panion archly.  ■"  Had  I  asked  thee  concerning  the  captain 
of  the  queen's  guard,  wouldst  thou  have  merely  said,  '  It  is 
of  a  pretty  fashion,  and  of  a  most  dainty  fabric  V  "  here  the 
merry  little  creature  mimicked  her  companion.  "  O'  my 
word,  no — I  should  never  have  heard  the  last  of  him.  Thou 
would  have  given  me  whole  chapters  upon  every  hair  of  his 
head." 

"  But  is  he  not  a  wise  and  most  noble  gentleman  ?"  asked 
her  cousin,  earnestly. 

"  Wise,  quotha !"  exclaimed  Alice,  with  a  smile  of  pecu- 
liar meaning.  "  Wise  man  ] — wise  fiddlestick  !  In  what  is 
he  wise?  Doth  he  not  talk  admirably  f  So  doth  a  parrot 
if  it  be  well  taught.  Wise  oyster !  And  there  is  but  little 
difference  betwixt  your  oyster  and  your  man.  Your  oyster 
hath  a  beard,  so  hath  your  man ; — so  he  need  not  brag  so 
much  on  that  account.  But  the  difference  be  all  in  favour 
of  your  oyster ;  for  your  oyster  is  delicate  eating,  but  your 
man  is  for  no  Christian  stomach,  cook  him  how  you  will. 
Wise  calf!  Why,  there  is  more  philosophy  in  a  forked  radish 
than  ever  you  will  find  in  your  wise  man." 

"  In  truth,  Alice,  if  I  did  not  know  thee  to  be  a  most  kind- 
hearted  wench  and  a  merry,  I  should  think  thee  very  mali- 
cious," observed  the  eldest. 

"  I  bear  no  malice  against  the  poor  creatures,"  replied  the 
other,  with  pretended  meekness.  "  It  would  be  a  right 
shameful  return  for  the  unceasing  efforts  they  make  to  amuse 
me.  Well  it  be  not  their  fault  that  they  have  not  more 
sense ;  and  considering  how  foolish  they  are  by  nature,  I 
must  do  them  the  justice  to  say,  that  they  do  as  well  as  they 
can." 

"  But  I  cannot  love  thee,  if  thou  wilt  not  love  Walter," 
said  Mistress  Throckmorton,  looking  with  much  seriousness 
in  the  face  of  her  witty  relative. 

♦'  Love  him,  coz !"  exclaimed  Alice,  affectionately  kissing 
her  forehead.     "  I  will  do  any  thing  to  pleasure  thee." 

4* 


42  SHAKSPEARE 

And  thereupon  the  two  coushis  did  caress  one  another 
with  a  lovingness  that  was  most  toucliing  to  behold, 

"  But  if  he  make  thee  melancholy,  I'll  be  hanged  if  I  love 
him,"  continued  she  with  much  emphasis. 

*'  It  be  not  his  fault,  dear  Alice,"  replied  her  companion. 
"  He  is  always  good  and  kind  and  noble.  I  alone  am  to 
blame — I  am  very  much  to  blame."  And,  saying  this,  she 
suddenly  did  throw  herself  upon  the  neck  of  her  kinswoman, 
in  an  uncontrollable  agony  of  hysteric  sobs  and  tears ;  and 
wept  outright. 

"  Bess  !  Bess  !  Cousin  !  Elizabeth  !"  cried  the  now  alarm- 
ed and  anxious  Alice.  "What  meaneth  this?  Wiiy  are 
these  tears — and  for  what  art  thou  to  blame)  Nay,  this  i» 
mere  folly.  If  the  queen  find  out  that  Sir  Walter  love  thee, 
she  may  be  wrath  with  him  and  thee  for  a  time,  but  it  will 
all  blow  over  harmlessly,  I'll  be  bound  for  it ;  and  there  is 
no  occasion  to  fret  thyself  till  it  happen.  Come,  dry  up  thy 
tears,  or  I'll  not  let  thee  see  him  for  a  month." 

"  I  must  see  him  this  morning,  dear  Alice  !"  remarked  her 
cousin  earnestly.  *'  Thou  must  contrive  to  let  me  have 
speech  with  him  here ;  for  it  is  of  the  utmost  importance." 

"  Here,  cousin  !" 

"  Ay,  here,  Alice,"  replied  she  ;  "  my  life,  all  that  is  dear  to 
me,  depends  upon  it." 

"  Well,  if  that  be  the  case,  I'll  strive  whatever  my  love 
can  do  to  bring  it  about,"  responded  the  other.  "  But  see 
how  monstrously  thou  hast  rumpled  my  ruff.  If  the  queen 
see  it  she  will  swear  I  have  been  romping."  At  this  they 
both  strove  to  smooth  the  creases  as  well  as  they  could. 
"  And  now  let  me  help  thee  on  with  thy  robe,"  she  conti- 
nued, as  she  assisted  in  attiring  her.  "  Ah,  love's  a  sad 
thing,  and  therefore  I  like  it  not,  dear  Bess  ;  for  I  like  merry 
things." 

"  Thou  wilt  change  thy  tune  anon,  depend  on't,"  said  the 
elder. 

"Change  my  tune?  I'll  change  my  nature  first,"  replied 
the  other.  "  By  my  troth,  if  the  sky  were  to  rain  lovers,  I'd 
keep  under  shelter.  Save  in  the  way  of  sport,  if  ever  I  have 
any  thing  to  do  with  these  man  animals — why  then  pickle 
me.  And  what  a  set  I  have  around  me  at  this  present ! 
Noah's  ark  contained  not  such  another.  First,  I  have  my 
Lord  Burghley,  who  looks  as  virtuous  as  small  beer,  and  is 
just  as  sour  upon  occasion.     He  taketh  upon  him  to  com- 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  43 

mend  my  beauty,  when  the  lord  treasurer  desireth  to  make 
himself  agreeable  to  the  maid  of  honour  ;  then  sayeth  he, 
with  a  very  infinite  gravity,  ♦  Be  chary  of  thy  smiles,  mis- 
tress;  butter  melts  i'  the  sun!  butter  melts  i'  the  sun!'" 
And  here  she  mimicked  the  voice  and  manner  of  that  most 
worshipful  and  profound  statesman,  of  glorious  memory,  and 
then  proceeded  imitating,  in  the  same  ludicrous  way,  the 
different  individuals  she  named.  "Then  comes  young  gra- 
vity, his  son,  Sir  Robert  Cecil,  who  hath  a  smile  for  every 
one,  and — nothing  else  ;  and  as  he  happens  to  be  possessed 
of  a  person  in  no  way  flattering  to  the  eye,  he  chooseth  to 
make  use  of  a  tongue  in  every  way  flattering  to  the  ear. 
*  Sweet  Alice,'  saith  he,  in  a  whisper,  if  he  happen  to  stand 
by  me  in  the  throng,  '  Indeed,  I  cannot  help  but  think  thee 
the  flower  of  the  whole  court.'  After  him  we  have  Lord 
Henry  Howard — or  rather  with  him — for  they  generally 
hunt  in  couples,  like  hounds  of  better  breed  ;  and  he  is  some- 
what of  a  soldier — somewhat  of  a  sailor — somewhat  of  a 
gallant,  and  a  great  deal  of  a  courtier  ; — and  he  kisseth  my 
hand  cavalierly,  and  looketh  into  my  eyes  as  if  he  saw  there 
something  he  had  lost — his  own  modesty,  mayhap,  if  he 
ever  had  any — and  sweareth  me  one  of  the  newest  oaths, 
saying,  •  I  could  stand  the  enemy,  but  not  those  lustrous 
orbs  !'" 

"  Alice,  thy  wit  will  be  the  ruin  of  thee." 

"Then  cometh  my  Lord  Pembroke,  the  hopeful  pupil  of 
that  marvellous  scholar  and  exquisite  specimen  of  chivalry, 
Sir  Philip  Sidney,"  continued  the  laughing  girl.  "  And  he 
readeth  me  an  essay  an  hour  long  on  the  surpassing  virtues 
of  the  dames  of  antiquity  ;  and  looking  the  very  pink  of 
courtesy,  telleth  me,  '  Thou  wouldst  make  an  admirable  Ar- 
cadian shepherdess,  only  the  infinite  roguery  that  lurks  in 
the  dimple  of  thy  cheek  would  create  a  world  of  mischief 
among  the  swains.'  Then  comes  my  lord  chamberlain,  the 
bluff  and  martial  Earl  of  Sussex,  with  guns  and  pistols  in 
his  looks,  and  cannon-balls  in  his  conversation  ;  and  he  sa- 
lutes me  most  soldierly,  with  an  '  Hullo,  mistress  !  were  I 
for  kissing,  I  know  the  pair  of  lips  Fd  choose  out  of  a  thou- 
sand.' After  him  we  have  the  proud  and  impetuous  Essex 
— all  splendour — all  gallantry — all  impulse — and  all  nothing  : 
and  he  cometh  to  me  alone  with  an  irresistible  air,  protest- 
ing, '  By  tliis  hand,  an'  I  love  thee  not  I  am  a  Turk.' " 


44  SHAKSPEARE 

"  Alice !  Alice !"  exclaimed  her  cousin  seriously,  "  if  thou 
art  heard  saying  this,  thou  art  utterly  undone." 

"  Then  cometh  the  gallant,  gay,  tlie  learned,  witty,  brave, 
and  handsome — in  fact  the  very  thing — Sir  Walter  Raleigh." 

"Alice!"  cried  Mistress  Elizabeth  Throckmorton,  re- 
proachfully. 

"  Well,  dear  Bess,  I  will  say  nothing  of  him,  since  it  doth 
not  please  thee,"  replied  her  companion.  "  And  now,  be- 
cause thou  art  quite  ready,  and  I  have  teased  thee  in  some 
measure,  I  will  go  and  seek  the  noble  captain  ;  for,  if  1  mis- 
take not,  he  must  by  this  time  be  in  attendance." 

"  There's  a  good  wench  !"  exclaimed  her  cousin,  kissing 
her  affectionately.  "  But  be  cautious  in  thy  proceeding,  for 
if  the  queen  know  of  his  being  with  me,  Walter  will  be 
ruined  and  I  undone." 

"  Be  cautious  !  will  I  not !"  replied  the  light-hearted  crea- 
ture, with  a  toss  of  her  little  head.  "  I'll  be  as  sly  as  a  cat 
stealing  of  cream  ;  and  if  her  majesty  find  me  out  I'll  e'en  give 
her  leave  to  box  my  ears,  as  she  did  those  of  the  lovely  Mis- 
tress Bridges,  who  was  guilty  of  having  had  the  presumption 
to  be  admired  by  the  imperial  Essex.  But  Bess,"  continued 
she,  turning  round  with  an  arch  look,  as  she  reached  the 
door,  "  'tis  a  burning  shame  thou  shouldst  be  in  love.  I 
marvel  at  it  hugely.  Well,  if  ever  thou  catchest  me  pos- 
sessed of  any  of  thy  melancholy  humours,  I'll  give  thee  leave 
to  shut  me  up  in  a  mouse-trap."  And  with  a  laugh  as  shrill 
and  musical  as  the  alarum  of  a  silver  bell,  did  the  pretty  piece 
of  mirth  and  mischief  leave  the  roof. 

But  her  cousin  was  in  no  mood  to  join  in  her  merriment ; 
and  immediately  Alice  was  gone  she  sat  herself  down  in  a 
chair,  and  there  stole  over  her  fair  countenance  an  expres- 
sion of  deep  and  right  eloquent  sadness.  She  sat  with  her 
arms  crossed  upon  her  lap,  most  dejectedly ;  and  her  soft 
eyes,  swimming  in  tears,  fixed  upon  the  floor.  And  in  that 
position  did  she  continue  for  at  least  the  fourth  part  of  an 
hour,  feeding  reflection  with  the  delicious  food  of  memory, 
mingled  with  so  many  fearful  forebodings  as  were  sufficient, 
with  their  bitterness  to  spoil  the  sweetness  of  her  thoughts. 
She  wept  not,  neitker  did  she  smile ;  but  it  seemed  as  if  in 
her  admirable  features  there  was  going  on  a  continual  strug- 
gle between  the  most  exquisite  pleasure  and  the  most  direful 
apprehension,  and  the  latter  got  such  mastery  as  might  suf- 
fice to  give  her  lids  as  much  moisture  as  they  could  carry, 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  45 

nnd  impress  on  her  well-favoured  aspect,  a  character  of  more 
than  ordinary  grief  Anon,  her  eyes  becoming  overcharged, 
there  was  cast  down  upon  each  cheek  a  tear-drop,  and  the 
light  falling  thereon  from  the  window  where  she  sat,  did 
make  its  brilliancy  so  apparent,  that  it  would  have  put  to 
shame,  the  brightest  jewel  that  ever  glittered  in  her  sto- 
macher ;  and  these  gems  of  purest  water,  as  if  enamoured  of 
their  fair  resting-place,  sought  not  to  move  from  the  spot 
where  they  had  fallen  ;  which  gave  to  her  the  appearance  of 
a  most  beautiful  and  moving  Niobe. 

Presently  she  heard  a  footstep  in  the  corridor,  and  her 
heart  thereupon  began  to  beat  with  a  more  perceptible  throb- 
bing. The  footstep  approached,  and  the  colour  mounted  to 
her  cheek — it  stopped  at  the  door,  and  the  cheek  became 
pale  as  marble.  In  a  moment  the  door  opened  quickly,  and 
was  as  quickly  closed  ;  and,  as  a  cavalier  of  a  most  noble 
appearance  entered  the  room,  with  a  half-stifled  cry  of  exulta- 
tion, she  rushed  towards  him,  and  sunk  swooning  upon  his 
breast. 

In  truth,  the  cavalier  was  of  a  most  valiant  and  commend- 
able presence.  His  high  and  expansive  forehead  was  partly 
concealed  by  his  hat  (in  which  was  a  little  black  feather,  with 
a  large  ruby  and  pearl  drop  at  the  bottom  of  the  sprig,  in 
place  of  the  button) ;  yet  sufficient  of  it  was  observable  to 
denote  the  fine  intellect  that  lay  within.  His  eyes  were 
large  and  intelligent — his  nose  somewhat  long,  yet  not  out  of 
proportion — his  lips  delicately  curved,  with  a  fair  mustache 
on  the  upper  lip,  and  a  beard  of  moderate  growth,  hand- 
somely rounded  under  the  chin  beneath,  encircled  by  a  frilled 
ruff;  and  his  complexion  was  somewhat  browned,  as  if  by 
exposure  to  foreign  climates,  or  hard  service  in  the  wars. 
His  stature  was  six  feet  full,  with  limbs  elegantly  yet  strong- 
ly moulded.  He  was  apparelled  in  a  white  satin  pinked  vest, 
close-sleeved  to  the  wrist,  having  over  the  body  of  it  a  brown 
doublet,  finely  flowered,  and  embroidered  with  pearls  ;  with 
a  belt  of  the  same  colour  and  ornament,  on  the  left  side  of 
which  hung  his  sword,  and  on  the  other  was  seen  the  pom- 
mel of  his  dagger.  His  trunks,  with  his  stockings  and  ribband 
garters,  were  all  of  white,  and  fringed  at  the  end  ;  and  his 
shoes  were  of  buff,  tied  with  white  ribbands.  He  might  be 
somewhere  between  thirty  and  forty  years  of  age  ;  that  is  to 
say,  in  the  very  prime  and  vigour  of  his  life.  And  a  braver 
soldier,  a  handsomer  man,  or  a  more  accomplished  gen- 
tleman, the  court  of  Elizabeth  did  not  contain  at  that  time. 


46  SHAKSPEARE 

"Bess  !  Bess  !  dear,  sweet, exquisite  Bess  !"  cried  he  fling- 
ing down  his  hat,  and  pressing  Iier  in  his  arms.  "  By  hea- 
ven !  she  hath  swooned,"  he  exclaimed,  as  lie  observed  her 
head  droop,  and  her  cheek  quite  pallid  :  then,  cautiously  fas- 
tening the  door,  he  bore  his  lovely  burthen  to  where  stood 
an  ewer  of  water,  which  he  began  presently  to  sprinkle  on 
her  face,  all  the  while  using  most  endearing  expressions  and 
caresses,  and  exhibiting  a  truly  earnest  solicitude. 

"  They  have  fastened  thy  boddice  most  infamously  tight, 
dear  Bess,  and  'tis  beyond  my  poor  wit  to  loose  it,"  said  he 
earnestly,  as  he  tried  unavailingly  to  undo  the  fastenings  of 
her  robe.  "  S'blood,  I  have  a  good  mind  to  rip  it  up  with 
my  dagger ;  and  if  she  recover  not  quickly,  I  will.  Dear, 
dear  Bess  !"  he  continued,  with  more  emphasis,  as  he  began 
vigorously  to  chafe  her  hands.  "  Revive  thee,  girl — revive! 
'Tis  I — 'tis  Walter — thy  Walter,  dear  Bess.  There  is  no- 
thing to  fear,  believe  me.  We  have  no  one  near,  the  queen's 
in  the  council-chamber,  and  I  have  well  excused  my  attend- 
ance. Come,  Bess,  I  say — sweetest !  dearest !  best !  ray 
heart!  my  life  !— ^Ha,  she  revives  !"  he  cried  joyfully,  as  he 
observed  signs  of  returning  animation  in  her  countenance. 
**  Indeed,  I  have  a  mind  to  scold  thee — only  I  have  no  heart 
to  do  it." 

"  Walter !  dear  Walter  !'*  murmured  the  beautiful  woman, 
fixing  upon  him  a  look  of  most  impassioned  tenderness, 
directly  she  recovered  sufficient  consciousness  of  where  and 
with  whom  she  was ;  and  then  throwing  her  arms  around 
his  neck,  and  resting  her  head  upon  his  shoulder,  began  to 
sob  violently. 

"  Now,  Bess,  this  is  unkind  of  thee,"  said  Sir  Walter,  in 
rather  a  reproaching  tone ;  but  immediately  added  with  a 
kinder  voice,  "  but  what  aileth  thee,  sweetest  V 

"Oh,  I  have  undone  thee — I  have  undone  thee  quite!" 
exclaimed  she,  as  plainly  as  her  sobs  would  allow. 

"Not  while  I  wear  a  sword,  dear  Bess,  and  am  free  to  go 
where  I  will,"  he  replied. 

"  The  queen  will  know  all,  dear  Walter — she  must  dis- 
cover it  soon." 

"  Why  so,  dear  Bess  V  inquired  Sir  Walter. 

"  Alas  !  I  cannot  tell  thee — no,  indeed,  I  cannot  tell  thee, 
dear  Walter,"  said  Mistress  Elizabeth,  sobbing  more  vio- 
lently ;  "  but  I  must  leave  this  place.  Do  take  me  away.  I 
cannot  stay  here  but  a  very  short  time  longer  without  utter 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  47 

destruction  to  thy  fortunes.  Oh  !  take  me  away,  Walter — 
take  me  away  !" 

"  It  shall  be  as  thou  desirest,  sweetest,"  replied  Raleigh, 
stooping  down  and  kissing  her  cheek.  "  I  have  already  ar- 
ranged with  thy  father  for  a  private  marriage  before  I  em- 
bark on  a  voyage,  the  good  results  of  which,  I  hope,  will 
win  my  pardon  from  the  queen." 

"Thanks,  dear  Walter,"  exclaimed  she,  looking  gratefully 
upon  him  through  her  tears ;  "thou  art  always  good,  and 
noble,  and  generous :  but  I  am  fearful  it  will  be  thy  utter 
undoing." 

"  Think  not  of  it,  Bess,"  said  her  lover  kindly,  "  and  then 
it  cannot  fright  thee.  But  the  danger  is  none  so  imminent. 
I  shall  not  let  her  majesty  know  of  our  marriage  if  it  can  be 
helped.  Thou  shalt  get  away  from  here  as  if  on  a  visit  to  thy 
father  in  Aldgate,  and  so  excite  no  suspicions  ;  in  the  mean- 
time, I  will  increase  my  attentions  to  the  queen,  so  that  she 
shall  have  no  reason  to  quarrel  with  my  behaviour ;  and 
when  thou  art  secure  in  thy  asylum,  I  shall  start  in  my  good 
ships  for  the  voyage  I  intend." 

"  I  would  not  have  thee  anger  the  queen  for  worlds,"  ob- 
served the  other,  "  for  it  is  in  her  power  to  make  thy  for- 
tunes, or  mar  them.  Elizabeth  hath  a  very  woman's  heart 
in  some  things,  though  she  be  masculine  enough  in  others  ; 
and  she  loveth  the  adulation  of  handsome  men.  She  much 
regardeth  thee,  dear  Walter,  I  know,  and  from  that  I  am 
fearful  that  her  knowledge  of  thy  marriage  will  deeply  affect 
thy  prosperity.  Indeed,  I  would  rather  die  than  that  thou 
shouldst  receive  injury  for  my  sake." 

"  O'  my  life,  thou  art  a  most  admirable  creature,"  ex- 
claimed Sir  Walter,  as  he  rapturously  pressed  her  within  his 
arms,  "  and  I  should  be  totally  unworthy  of  possessing  that 
rich  argosie,  thy  affections,  were  I  not  to  risk  my  life,  and 
all  that  to  it  do  belong,  in  endeavouring  to  secure  thy  peace 
of  mind.  I  fear  not  consequences  in  such  a  case,  dear  Bess. 
As  for  the  queen,  I  know  that  flattery  is  rarely  unacceptable 
to  her ;  and  her  name  and  thine  being  the  same,  I  can  easily 
quiet  the  scruples  of  my  conscience,  if  they  say  aught  against 
my  insincerity,  by  imagining  that  it  is  to  thee  my  homage 
is  addressed." 

"  I  care  not,  Walter,  what  thou  sayest  or  what  thou  doest, 
as  long  as  thou  boldest  thy  proper  quality  and  station  in  the 
court,"  replied  the  devoted  woman;  and  then,  with  a  sudden 


48  SHAKSPEARE 

look  of  right  earnest  affection,  continued,  "thy  proper  quality, 
said  1 1 — nay,  if  thou  attainest  tfiat,  by  my  troth,  thou 
wouldst  be  kinoj  of  them  all." 

"  Oh,  thou  outra.ceous  flatterer,"  cried  Raleigh,  sportively 
shaking  his  head  at  her. 

♦'  'Tis  no  flattery,  dear  Walter — 'tis  the  very  truth,"  said 
Mistress  Elizabeth  fondly.  *'  And  who  can  look  on  thy 
noble  form  clad  in  these  princely  vestments,  and  not  say  the 
same  1  But  above  all,  who  can  regard  thy  noble  mind — 
that  costly  jewel  in  a  rich  case — and  deny  thy  pre-emi- 
nence 7" 

"  Bess !  Bess  !  if  thou  goest  on  at  this  rate,"  replied  Sir 
Walter  with  an  assumed  gravity,  "I  shall  be  reduced  to  fol- 
low the  obsolete  custom  of  blushing,  which  will  bear  hardly 
upon  me,  seeing  that  I  lack  blushes  most  abominably." 

At  this  moment  a  quick  light  footstep  was  heard  proceed- 
ing along  the  corridor,  and  Mistress  Elizabeth,  as  soon  as 
she  recognised  it,  disengaged  herself  from  the  embraces  of 
her  lover,  hastened  to  the  door,  which  she  immediately 
unfastened,  and,  opening  it,  gave  entrance  to  her  cousin 
Alice. 

"  A  plague  on  this  love,  say  I,"  exclaimed  she,  laughingly, 
as  she  bounced  into  the  room  nearly  out  of  breath. 

"  What's  the  matter,  Alice?"  inquired  her  cousin  anxiously. 

"  A5%  what's  the  matter,  sweet  coz  ]"  added  Sir  Walter. 

*•  Coz  !  coz,  indeed !"  cried  Alice,  somewhat  disdainfully, 
yet  with  an  arch  glance  of  her  eye,  as  she  turned  sharp 
round  upon  the  last  speaker — "  I  prythee  keep  thy  co2:-ening 
for  those  who  will  listen  to  thee.     I'll  have  none  on't." 

*'  I'faith,  Alice,  if  thy  wit  be  always  so  sharp,  thou  wilt 
lead  apes  in  the  next  world,  depend  on't,"  said  Raleigh. 

'*  I  don't  know,  sweet  sir,  whether  there  be  apes  in  the 
next  world,"  said  she,  with  a  curtsey  to  the  ground,  "  but 
o'  my  word,  there  be  nothing  else  to  lead  in  this,  as  I 
can  see."  At  this  Sir  Walter  good-humouredly  did  laugh 
outright ;  in  which  he  was  heartily  joined  by  his  merry 
companion. 

•'  But  what  brought  thee  into  the  room  so  post-haste, 
Alice  ?"  inquired  Mistress  Elizabeth. 

"  Marry,  matter  enough,"  replied  she :  '•  there  be  the 
queen's  majesty  in  her  chamber,  inquiring  most  piteously 
for  her  captain  of  the  guard,  and  sending  the  ushers  and 
the  grooms  in  all  directions  after  the  lost  sheep.    I  being 


AND  Ills  FRIENDS.  49 

asked  if  I  knew  where  he  was  to  be  found,  did  Innocently 
answer,  that  having  for  some  time  past  suspected  him  of 
the  criminal  intention  of  setting  the  Thames  on  fire,  I  did 
opine  that  he  might  be  met  with  in  tiie  buttery,  begging 
the  loan  of  a  wax-taper  for  the  nonce." 

**  I'll  give  thee  a  beating  for  that,"  cried  Sir  Walter 
laughingly,  as  following  her  round  the  chamber,  with  his 
glove  he  did  whip  her  over  the  shoulder,  while  she,  duck- 
ing her  pretty  head,  cried  out,  and  sought  to  avoid  the 
blows. 

"Help,  good  coz,  help!"  she  cried  to  her  cousin,  who 
stood  by,  showing  by  her  sweet  smiling  countenance  that 
she  did  mightily  enjoy  the  scene.  "  Help  !  or  this  valiant 
Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  who  maketh  war  upon  women,  will  get 
the  better  of  me." 

"  Nay,  Alice,  I'll  help  thee  not — for  thou  dost  richly  de- 
serve all  that  thou  receivest,"  said  Mistress  Elizabeth. 

"  Confess  that  thou  hast  slandered  me,  thou  pretty  mis- 
chief," exclaimed  Raleigh,  holding  up  the  glove  threateningly, 
as  she  crouched  down  at  his  feet. 

"  I  will  confess,  holy  father,"  replied  she,  with  an  admira- 
ble mock  seriousness,  as  she  put  her  palms  together,  and 
turned  up  her  brilliant  eyes  to  his — all  the  while  a  smile 
playing  about  her  dimpled  cheek,  that  gave  to  her  face  an 
expression  of  archness  infinitely  pleasant  to  look  upon. 

"  In  the  first  place,  holy  father,  the  queen  is  not  in  her 
chamber,  because  she  is  still  with  the  lords  of  the  council." 

"  Oh,  thou  abominable  transgressor !"  cried  Sir  Walter, 
with  all  the  seriousness  he  could  assume. 

"  In  the  second  place,  she  hath  not  sent  for  thee,  because 
she  requireth  thee  not." 

"Daughter!  daughter!  thy  iniquity  is  palpable,"  said  he 
with  the  same  gravity. 

"  In  the  last  place,  I  have  just  met  with  master  secretary, 
who  saith  that  the  council  is  about  to  break  up,  and  inquired 
if  I  had  seen  thee.  Thereupon  I  sent  him  where  I  knew 
he  would  not  find  thee,  and  hastened  to  where  I  knew  I 
should." 

"  Thou  must  do  penance  for  this,"  observed  Raleigh ; 
then  somewhat  maliciously  added,  "  therefore  I  do  condemn 
thee  to  the  scarcely  endurable  punishment  of  holding  thy 
tongue  for  a  whole  hour." 

VOL.  I.  5 


50  SHAKSPEARE 

"I'faith  thou  hast  it  this  time,  Alice!"  exclaimed  Mistress 
Elizabeth,  with  undisguised  glee. 

"  And  now,  beauties,  I  must  be  under  the  painful  necessity 
of  hurrying  my  departure,"  said  Sir  Walter,  taking  up  his  hat, 
and  gallantly  bowing  to  the  fair  cousins ;  then  smiling  tri- 
umphantly on  the  laughing  Alice,  who  had  remained  on  the 
floor  where  he  had  left  her,  wearing  the  most  pitiful  face 
that  eye  ever  beheld,  he  was  about  to  make  his  exit,  when 
Mistress  Elizabeth  rushed  before  him. 

"  Stop,  Walter,"  cried  she,  hastily,  "  till  I  see  if  the  coast 
be  clear  for  thee,"  as  she  opened  the  door,  and  looking  out 
cautiously,  immediately  added,  in  a  more  subdued  voice,-— 
"  'tis  as  it  should  be ;  and  now,  dear  Walter,  let  me  once 
more  entreat  of  thee  to  keep  on  good  terms  with  the  queen." 

"  I  will  strive  all  I  can,  dear  Bess,"  replied  her  lover, 
affectionately  raising  her  hand  to  his  lips,  "  and  be  sure  that 
you  make  proper  and  speedy  preparations  for  thy  departure 
from  this  place." 

"  1  will  not  fail,"  said  the  beautiful  woman ;  and,  in  the 
next  moment,  she  was  watching  the  noble  form  of  her 
affianced  husband  retreating  with  hasty  strides  along  the 
corridor. 

Sir  Walter  Raleigh  proceeded  onwards,  passing  several 
doors  on  each  side  of  him,  and  various  passages  that  led  to 
divers  parts  of  the  palace,  till  he  came  to  a  staircase  of  fair 
proportions,  the  balustrades  of  which  were  finely  carved, 
having  at  their  extremities  rampant  lions,  most  ingeniously 
wrought  out  of  the  solid  wood.  At  the  bottom  of  this  flight 
of  steps  he  passed  sundry  of  the  yeomen  of  the  guard,  placed 
there  upon  duty,  who  gave  him  instant  salutation ;  and  still 
advancing,  met  with  pages,  grooms,  and  ushers,  hastening 
on  their  business,  who,  with  great  show  of  respect,  did  do 
him  reverence.  With  these  were  sometimes  mingled  the 
higher  officers  of  the  palace,  and  gentlemen  and  noblemen 
of  the  court,  either  intent  upon  their  duties,  or  discoursing 
with  one  another,  as  they  walked  carelessly  along,  and  with 
them  he  did  exchange  abundance  of  courtesies.  As  he  was 
turning  sharply  round  a  corner,  he  came  suddenly  against  a 
courtier  of  a  very  notable  aspect,  and  of  right  commendable 
habiliments  ;  his  face  was  fair  to  look  upon,  and  dressed 
with  a  constant  smile.  An  observer  might  suppose  him  of 
an  ingenuous  nature,  and  of  a  remarkable  honesty  ;  gentle 
in  his  behaviour,  upright  in  his  conduct,  and  chivalrous  in 


AND  HIS  PR1END3.  51 

Ws  disposition  :  yet  was  he  a  thorongb  courtier,  as  will 
anon  be  made  manit'est  to  the  reader.  He  was  young;  that 
is  to  say,  of  some  thirty  years  or  so  ;  and  being  of  a  hand- 
some figure  and  countenance,  his  apparel,  though  it  lacked 
the  splendour  of  Sir  Walter  Raleigh's,  was  evidently  worn 
to  set  them  off  to  the  best  advantage. 

"  Odds  pittiklns,  Sir  Walter,"  exclaimed  he,  laughingly, 
as  he  recovered  himself  from  the  shock,  *'  dost  take  me  for  a 
Spanish  galleon,  that  thou  runnest  me  down  in  this  pitiless 
fashion  ]" 

"  Thy  pardon,  my  good  lord,"  replied  Sir  Walter,  as  he 
held  out  his  hand,  which  the  other  shook  with  all  the  fervour 
of  old  friendship,  "  Lord  Henry  Howard  hath  so  proved  him- 
self the  queen's  good  soldier,  as  to  make  it  impossible  for 
any  one  to  take  him  for  a  Spaniard." 

"  Nay,  thou  flatterest  me  there,"  said  the  Lord  Howard, 
with  an  appearance  of  considerable  modesty,  "  I  did  but 
follow  the  example  of  that  worthy  and  approved  good 
knight,  Sir  Walter  Raleigh, — and  but  at  a  humble  distance,  as 
all  must  who  would  tread  in  his  valiant  footsteps.  But,  con- 
fess— confess  thee,  man  !  wert  thou  not  dreaming  of  another 
armada,  and  wert  intent  on  boarding  the  biggest  ship  of 
them  all,  when  thou  didst  bear  down  upon  me  with  thy 
whole  broadside  so  courageously'?" 

"  Indeed,  my  lord,  I  was  thinking  of  a  different  matter," 
replied  his  companion. 

"  I  doubt  thee  hugely,"  responded  the  other,  shaking  his 
head,  "  for  'tis  so  much  in  thy  fashion.  Then  wert  thou 
busying  thy  most  fruitful  imagination  in  search  of  new  dis- 
coveries, and,  instead  of  steering  into  some  delectable  bay, 
full  of  all  enticing  prospects,  thou  of  a  sudden  didst  drop  thy 
anchoi:  upon  my  new  doublet : — was  it  not  soV 

"  Thou  art  again  in  the  wrong,  my  lord,"  replied  Sir 
Walter,  smiling  ;  "  I  was  on  no  such  voyage.  I  am  bound 
to  her  majesty,  where  my  attendance  is  required.  If  nothing 
better  await  thy  pleasure,  will  it  please  thee  walk  with  me, 
my  lord  ]" 

"  I  am  infinitely  gratified  by  thy  courtesy,"  said  Lord 
Henry,  with  a  most  courtier-like  inclination  of  his  head,  as 
he  proceeded  alongside  of  his  companion,  "  and  will  do  my- 
self that  honour.  The  queen  is  expected  in  the  presence- 
chamber,  on  her  return  from  the  council ;  and  I  was  but 
making  a  stroll  in  the  meanwhile,  when  thou  didst  me  the 


52  SIIAKSPEARE 

especial  favour  of  nearly  running  mc  down.  But  what  a 
superlative  taste  thou  hast  in  thy  appointments,"  suddenly 
exclaimed  he,  as  he  noticed  the  splendid  attire  of  Sir  Walter; 
"  'tis  most  exquisitely  fashioned,  and  of  a  very  dainty 
conceit." 

«'  Dost  like  it,  my  lord  ?"  inquired  Raleigh,  carelessly. 

*'  On  mine  honour,  I  admire  it  hugely,"  responded  his 
lordship,  with  a  vast  show  of  admiration.  "  I  marvel  not 
thou  shouldst  be  the  very  model  of  dress  amongst  us,  for 
thou  art  truly  delicate  in  the  choice  of  thy  fabrics,  and  infi- 
nitely curious  in  the  manner  in  which  they  are  to  be  worn. 
I  do  know  a  certain  lord  who  would  give  his  ears,  had  he 
thy  apprehension  of  these  things." 

"  Be  his  ears  so  long  then,  that  he  would  get  rid  of  them 
for  so  trifling  a  result  ?"  asked  his  companion,  with  some 
affectation  of  seriousness. 

"  In  truth  thou  hast  hit  it,"  exclaimed  the  Lord  Howard, 
with  a  hearty  laugh.  *'  Between  ourselves,  he  is  marvellously 
apt  to  play  Midas  to  thy  Apollo." 

"  By  what  name  goeth  he  ?"  inquired  Sir  Walter ;  "  for  as 
far  as  my  penetration  sufEceth,  I  know  of  none  such." 

"  Dost  not  know  the  Earl  of  Essex  ?"  whispered  the  other. 

"  Most  assuredly  do  I,  for  a  gentleman  of  many  noble 
qualities,"  replied  Raleigh. 

"  I  tell  thee,  out  of  friendship,  he  doth  affect  thee  not  at 
all,"  said  his  lordship,  in  the  same  low  voice. 

"Then  hath  some  villain  slandered  me  to  him,"  observed 
his  companion,  quickly ;  "  for,  although  he  hath  his  faults 
— as  who  hath  noti  I  do  believe  him  to  be  of  a  right  ho- 
nourable nature." 

"  I  have  ofttimes  heard  him  speak  slightingly  of  thee, 
Sir  Walter — by  this  hand  have  I,"  continued  his  lordship, 
with  increased  emphasis,  yet  still  in  a  subdued  tone. 

"  Thou  must  have  mistaken  his  meaning,  surely,"  re- 
sponded the  other.  "  I  have  done  him  no  offence.  But  he 
may  speak  slightingly  of  me  without  disparagement,  my 
good  lord,  for  possibly  I  may  not  have  done  sufficient  to  de- 
serve his  eulogy." 

"  I  tell  thee,  in  friendship  and  in  secrecy,  noble  Raleigh — 
for  it  be  dangerous  to  say  any  thing  against  one  so  high  in 
favour — that  he  hath  disparaged  thee  villanously,  ever  since 
thy  quarrel  with  that  ruffianly  follower  of  his,  Sir  Roger 
Williams," 


AND  Ills  FRIENDS.  53 

*'  Ila  !"  exclaimed  Sir  Walter,  turning  round  quickly,  and 
Jooking  his  companion  full  in  the  face. 

*'  Thou  hast  done  too  much  to  please  him,  noble  Raleigh: 
thy  gallant  actions  are  ever  before  his  eyes — thy  well-de- 
served praises  are  continually  ringing  in  his  ears.  He  must 
make  comparisons  ;  and  whenever  he  doth  compare  him- 
self with  thee,  either  in  appearance,  in  wisdom,  or  in  ho- 
nourable deeds,  he  findeth  himself  at  a  disadvantage  ;  and 
that  doth  fret  him  hugely.  Thou  knowest  he  is  proud — and 
that  proud  men  are  vain — and  that  vain  men  are  apt  to  un- 
dervalue the  qualities  they  do  not  themselves  possess.  Mar- 
vel not,  therefore,  that  he  doth  not  appreciate  thee  according 
to  thy  exceeding  merits.  I  tell  thee  this,  out  of  my  infinite 
love  for  thee,  wishing  to  put  thee  on  thy  guard." 

"  I  am  much  beholden  to  thee  for  thy  consideration,"  replied 
Sir  Walter,  as  if  musing  upon  what  he  had  heard  ;  "and  yet 
he  hath  always  been,  to  all  appearance,  most  friendly  disposed 
towards  me." 

"  To  all  appearance,  I  grant,"  added  his  lordship,  dwelling 
in  a  marked  manner  upon  the  words ;  "  but  thou  mayest 
rely  upon  what  I  have  stated.  Use  it  as  it  pleaseth  thee, 
noble  Raleigh  ;  but  well  convinced  am  I,  that  what  I  have 
said  out  of  affection,  thou  wilt  employ  after  such  a  fashion 
as  may  not  be  likely  to  do  me  an  injury." 

"  Depend  on  it,  thy  interests  shall  be  well  cared  for,"  re- 
sponded Sir  Walter. 

The  preceding  conversation  continued  whilst  the  parties 
proceeded  along  sundry  passages  and  through  various  suites 
of  rooms  magnificently  furnished,  and  crowded  with  cour- 
tiers and  others  strolling  about  or  discoursing  of  the  news 
one  with  another.  They  at  last  advanced  into  a  room  ad- 
joining the  presence-chamber — a  noble  apartment  hung 
round  with  costly  tapestry,  and  strewed  with  fresh  rushes, 
into  which  came  thronging  the  archbishops  and  bishops, 
ambassadors,  nobles,  counsellors  of  state,  and  others  of  the 
mighty  of  the  land.  Presently  it  was  whispered  that  the 
queen  was  a  coming,  and  thereupon  way  was  made  for  her 
majesty,  just  as  the  gentlemen  pensioners  with  their  gilt 
battle-axes  and  richly  embroidered  vests  were  observed  ap- 
proaching. After  these  went  certain  noblemen  of  the  queen's 
household,  knights  of  the  garter,  and  the  officers  of  her 
council  walking  in  their  costly  robes  bareheaded — among 
whom  was  the  chancellor  bearing  the  seals  in  a  red  silk 

5« 


54  SHAKSrEARE 

purse — having  on  one  side  of  liim  an  officer  of  state  carry- 
ing tlie  royal  sceptre,  and  on  the  other  another  of  the  lil^c 
rank  bearing  tlie  sword  of  state  with  the  point  upwards,  in 
a  scabbard  of  crimson  velvet  plentifully  studded  with  golden 
JieurS'de-Us. 

Next  came  our  sovereign  lady  Queen  Elizabeth,  very 
majestic  in  her  deportment,  and  although  getting  into  the 
decline  of  life,  still  very  pleasant  to  look  upon  ;  for  her  face 
if  it  was  a  little  wrinkled  was  fair;  her  eyes  small  and 
lively ;  her  nose  somewhat  aquiline ;  and  her  lips  though 
thin  were  continually  adorned  with  a  gracious  smile.  She 
wore  much  false  hair  of  a  red  hue — a  colour  she  greatly  af- 
fected, and  upon  her  head  a  small  crown  of  a  very  precious 
gold  richly  worked.  In  her  ears  were  rare  pearls  with  pen- 
dants of  exceeding  value  ;  and  on  her  bosom»  which,  in 
consequence  of  her  dress  being  worn  low,  was  much  ex- 
posed, was  a  necklace  of  jewels  of  an  excellent  fine  water, 
with  an  oblong  collar  of  gold  and  precious  stones  above ; 
she  was  attired  in  white  silk  daintily  bordered  with  pearls 
remarkable  for  their  size  and  beauty,  over  which  was  a 
mantle  of  black  silk  shot  with  silver  threads ;  having  a  train 
of  marvellous  length  and  of  a  corresponding  costly  material 
borne  by  divers  of  the  ladies  of  her  court.  As  she  ad- 
vanced every  head  was  uncovered,  and  those  nearest  to 
her  did  kneel  on  one  knee,  some  of  whom  who  had  letters 
to  deliver  she  raised  and  spoke  to  graciously,  and  as  a  mark 
of  particular  favour  to  one  Bohemian  baron,  who  had  come 
to  present  certain  credentials,  she  did  pull  off  her  glove  and 
gave  him  her  right  hand  to  kiss,  all  sparkling  with  jewelled 
rings. 

Thus  she  proceeded  in  all  this  beautiful  magnificence, 
winning  the  hearts  of  her  dutiful  subjects  by  her  very  gra- 
cious condescension,  and  speaking  to  many  foreigners  with 
the  same  notable  courtesy  in  French,  Italian,  Spanish,  or 
Dutch,  as  it  might  happen,  to  their  infinite  wonder  and  de- 
light ;  followed  by  a  beautiful  throng  of  the  ladies  of  her 
court,  each  handsomely  attired,  though  mostly  in  white, 
with  the  addition  of  some  display  of  jewellery  :  and  a  guard 
of  gentlemen  pensioners  like  that  which  preceded  them,  till 
she  entered  the  presence-chamber  to  give  audience  to  those 
ambassadors  and  ministers  who  had  come  on  pressing 
business. 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  55 


CHAPTER  IV. 

But  if  in  living"  colours  and  rig-lit  hue 

Thyself  thou  covet  to  see  pictured, 
"Who  can  it  do  more  lively  or  more  true 

Than  that  sweet  verse  with  nectar  sprinkled ; 

In  which  a  g-racious  servant  pictured 
His  Cynthia,  his  Heaven's  fairest  lig-ht  ? 

That  with  his  melting-  sweetness  ravished. 
And  with  the  wonder  of  her  beames  bright, 
My  senses  lulled  are  in  slumbers  of  delight. 

Spexseh. 

I  marie  what  pleasure  or  felicity  they  have  in  taking-  this  rog-uish 
tobacco.  It's  g-ood  for  nothing  but  to  choke  a  man,  and  fill  him  full 
of  smoke  and  ambers  ;  there  were  four  died  out  of  one  house  last 
week  with  taking  of  it,  and  two  more  the  bell  went  for  yesternight; 
one  of  them  they  say  will  never  scape  it,  he  voided  a  bushel  of  soot 
yesterday  upward  and  downward.  Bex  Jossox. 

The  Queen  of  England  having  retired  from  the  presence- 
chamber,  sal  in  her  withdrawing-room  on  a  well  carved 
chair,  having  cushions  covered  with  crimson  velvet,  whereon 
the  royal  arms  were  embroidered  in  gold ;  resting  her  feet 
upon  a  footstool  of  a  like  material — and  around  her  were 
the  select  companions  of  her  privacy.  Instead  of  her  crown, 
she  now  wore  a  pyramidal  head-dress  built  of  wire,  lace, 
ribands,  and  jewels.  The  chamber  was  of  handsome  pro- 
portions, hung  with  costly  tapestry,  on  which  was  very 
fairly  depicted  the  principal  events  in  the  Iliad,  and  besides 
such  necessary  furniture,  as  chairs,  tables,  and  cabinets  ela- 
borately chiselled  into  every  kind  of  cunning  device,  the 
panels  of  the  richly  decorated  wainscot  did  contain  full 
length  portraits  of  the  late  king's  highness  of  glorious  me- 
mory, Henry  the  Eighth,  with  his  illustrious  consort,  Anne 
Boleyn,  in  dark  ebony  frames,  and  done  to  the  life  with  all 
the  limner's  skill. 

The  whole  party  seemed  to  be  in  an  excellent  good  hu- 
mour, especially  her  majesty,  who  led  the  example  by  laugh- 
ing loud  and  long,  as  she  sat  before  two  open  glass  doors 
that  looked  into  a  garden  daintily  laid  out  in  long  shady 
walks,  while  leaning  upon  the  edge  of  the  door  almost  outside 
of  the  room  as  it  were,  stood  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  against 
whom,  evidently  all  the  mirth  was  directed ;  who,  with  a 
grave  countenance  continually  disturbed  by  the  merriment 


56  SHAKSPEARE 

of  his  associates,  in  which  he  ever  and  anon  joined  right 
heartil)',  kept  smoking  a  long  pipe,  and  watching  the  fumes 
as  he  puffed  them  into  the  air. 

"  Ah,  thou  hast  small  cause  to  look  after  the  fumes,  for 
thou  wilt  be  in  a  fine  fume  thyself  presently,"  said  her  ma- 
jesty, and  the  courtiers  and  the  ladies  thereat  did  laugh  more 
than  ever. 

"  Please  your  majesty,"  replied  Sir  Walter,  taking  the 
pipe  from  his  mouth,  and  laughing  with  the  rest — "  My 
fumes  are  perfumes;  and  if  ever  I  exhibit  any  other  fumes 
in  your  majesty's  gracious  presence,  I  should  be  deserving 
of  banishment,  which  would  make  me  in  a  fume  indeed." 

"  Thou  wilt  lose  thy  wager.  Sir  Walter  Raleigh — which 
will  put  thy  pipe  out,  depend  on't,"  added  the  queen — at 
which  witty  conceit  the  courtiers  were  again  irf  raptures. 

"  My  pipe  will  be  out  anon,  please  your  majesty,"  re- 
sponded Sir  Walter,  in  the  same  jocose  spirit.  "  But  I  shall 
have  the  honour  of  winning  a  purse  of  gold  of  the  most 
bountiful  sovereign  that  subject  ever  had." 

"  Odds  bodikins,  man,  thou  art  mad  sure  !"  exclaimed  the 
queen,  good-humouredly.  "  How  canst  expect  to  win  such 
a  mad  wager — unless  peradventure  thou  seekest  to  amuse 
thyself  by  playing  upon  us  some  trick — which  if  thou  dost, 
by  our  halidom,  thou  shalt  smoke  for  it  in  right  earnest." 
Thereupon  the  laugh  went  round  as  before,  and  all  in  audi- 
ble whispers  did  commend  her  majesty's  wit  most  liberally. 

"  Nay,  I  should  be  unworthy  to  breathe  in  so  estimable  a 
presence  were  I  to  make  so  bold,"  replied  Raleigh,  gravely. 
"  And  for  fear  that  your  majesty  should  misunderstand  my 
meaning,  I  will  recall  the  terms  of  the  wager — in  the  doing 
of  which  this  noble  company  will  correct  me  if  I  say  any 
thing  in  ^rror.  Your  majesty  out  of  your  gracious  con- 
descension, hath  wagered  me  a  purse  of  gold  against  my 
Barbary  courser,  that  from  a  certain  quantity  of  this  pre- 
cious tobacco  that  I  have  before  all  these  honourable  persons 
weighed  and  put  in  my  pipe  to  smoke,  I  shall  not  be  able  to 
tell  the  exact  weight  of  the  smoke  that  escapes." 

"  Why,  thou  foolish  gull,  how  canst  tell  the  weight  of  any 
thing  that  escapes'!"  asked  the  queen,  with  a  merry,  mali- 
cious glance,  and  to  the  infinite  amusement  of  her  circle. 
»'  Canst  catch  the  smoke  after  it  hath  mingled  with  the  air, 
and  press  it  into  thy  scales  !  We  did  think  that  thou  hadst 
more  wit  than  to  undertake  such  a  thing,  and  when  thou 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  57 

first  spoke  of  it,  fancying  thou  wert  taking  the  traveller's 
privilege,  we  laid  this  wager  with  thee  on  purpose  to  have  a 
laugh  at  thy  expense.  O'  my  faith,  thy  Barbary  courser  is  as 
good  as  lost ;  but  though  it  be  taking  but  a  barbarous  ad- 
vantage of  thee,  we  must  e'en  accept  of  it." 

"  Please  your  majesty,  perhaps  he  hath  the  wonderful 
seven  league  boots,  and  meaneth  quickly  to  overtake  his 
smoke,"  observed  a  very  lovely  young  gentlewoman,  who 
stood  by  the  side  of  the  queen's  chair. 

"  Nay,  Lady  Blanche  Somerset,"  replied  her  majesty,  join- 
ing in  the  general  laugh,  "  he  must  be  a  bird  if  he  means  to 
come  up  with  it,  for  smoke  hath  the  property  to  ascend — as 
thou  seest." 

"  Methinks  Sir  Walter  be  nothing  else  but  a  bird,"  said 
Mistress  Alice,  with  an  exceeding  grave  face. 

"  Why  so,  child  ?"  asked  the  queen. 

"  Doth  not  your  majesty  perceive  he  hath  a  very  owl-like 
look  3"  added  her  attendant,  archly ;  to  the  manifest  increase 
of  the  mirth  of  the  company,  the  which  Sir  Walter  regarded 
only  as  if  he  had  more  to  laugh  at  than  they. 

"  I  do  perceive  something  in  this  more  than  meets  your 
majesty's  eye,"  remarked  a  very  old  courtier,  with  an  ex- 
quisitely solemn  foolish  physiognomy. 

"  Speak  out,  my  Lord  Bumble,"  cried  her  majesty. 

"  I  hold  it  as  most  comfortable  Christian  doctrine,  please 
your  majesty,"  said  his  lordship,  advancing  a  little  way  on 
his  gold-headed  cane — for  he  stooped  much, "  that  the  mouth 
was  made  for  the  accommodation  of  honest  victuals  ;  and 
though  I  have  lived  in  the  reigns  of  your  majesty's  father 
Henry  the  Eighth,  of  pious,  chaste,  and  glorious  memory, 
and  of  his  most  excellent  highness  Edward  the  Sixth,  who 
surely  hath  a  throne  in  Heaven ;  and  of  our  late  illustrious 
Queen  Mary,  who  was  of  a  most  princely  disposition,  as  it 
becometh  a  queen  to  have,  and  which  your  majesty  doth 
possess  to  an  extent  far  beyond  that  which  was  exhibited 
by  your  majesty's  predecessors,  I  never  saw  a  gentleman, 
and,  to  speak  the  exact  truth,  I  may  add,  any  person  of  any 
degree  whatsoever,  who  used  his  throat  to  imbibe  villanous 
smoke;  and  therefore  I  hold  it  as  most  comfortable  Chris- 
tian doctrine  that  the  mouth  was  made  for  the  accommoda- 
tion of  honest  victuals.  Moreover,  I  never  heard  of  any  one 
with  whom  it  was  customary  to  make  a  smokejack  of  him- 
self, but  one,  and  he  did  do  it  not  from  liking,  but  from 
necessity." 


58  SHAKSPEARE 

"  And  who  was  he,  my  lord  ?"  inquired  the  queen. 

♦'Please  your  majesty,  it  was  no  other  than  the  devil — • 
from  whose  machinations  be  your  majesty  ever  carefully 
guarded." 

"  Amen,  my  lord,"  said  the  queen,  gravely. 

"  Who,  as  the  learned  Dr.  Thumpcushion  hath  stated," 
added  Lord  Bumble,  "  continually  doth  vomit  smoke  and 
brimstone — doubtless,  much  after  the  same  fashion  as  yon- 
der honourable  gentleman,  the  captain  of  your  majesty's 
guard — therefore  I  hold  it  as  most  comfortable  Christian 
doctrine" — 

"  Never  mind  the  doctrine,  my  lord" — here  put  in  the 
queen  rather  impatiently,  while  Sir  Walter  with  much  ado, 
endeavoured  to  preserve  a  serious  countenance — "  Say  at 
once  what  thou  perceivest  in  this  matter,  that  our  poor  wits 
are  not  master  of." 

"  I  will  come  to  the  point  without  further  preamble,  since 
it  be  your  majesty's  excellent  pleasure,"  said  the  old  courtier, 
"  though  I  was  going  to  say,  that  a  thing  which  looketh  so 
unnatural  and  so  devilish,  can  be  practised  for  no  other  end 
but  to  ensnare  our  souls  and  blind  our  eyes,  that  we  may 
be  the  more  easily  caught  and  thrust  into  the  bottomless  pit, 
where  it  be  the  fashion  of  Satan  and  all  his  imps  to  smoke, 
and  to  teach  others  to  smoke,  like  unto  the  manner  of  yon- 
der estimable  gentleman.  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  ;  therefore,  I 
hold  it  as  most  comfortable  Christian  doctrine,  that  the  mouth 
hath  been  made  for  the  accommodation  of  honest  victuals." 

"  We  have  heard  that  before,  my  lord,  so  if  thou  meanest 
to  enlighten  us  no  further  on  this  matter,  hold  thy  peace, 
and  Heaven  will  reward  thee  for  it." 

"  Yes,  Heaven  will  reward  me,  certainly,  as  your  majesty 
hath  so  piously  remarked,"  continued  Lord  Bumble;  who,  in 
addition  to  other  infirmities  consequent  on  old  age,  was  ex- 
ceedingl}^  deaf — "  I  am  much  bound  to  your  majesty  for 
your  majesty's  gracious  consideration  of  my  long  service, 
and  if  your  majesty  doth  not,  Heaven  will  reward  me,  cer- 
tainly. But  I  must  say,  of  all  your  majesty's  glorious 
family,  none  have  I  served  with  half  the  infinite  satisfaction 
I  find  in-  attending  on  your  majesty — though  his  excellent 
highness,  Henry  the  Eighth,  whose  page  I  was,  did  say  that 
I  was  inestimable  before  bedtime." 

*♦  Ah,  thou  didst  doubtless  make  a  most  admirable  sleeps 
ing  potion,"  observed  her  majesty. 


AND  HIS  PRIENDS.  59 

"  As  your  majesty  is  pleased  to  say,  ho  did  justly  appre- 
ciate my  devotion,"  proceeded  his  lordship.  "  But  I  am 
fearful  I  am  somewhat  wandering  from  the  point." 

"  Thou  hast  found  that  out  at  last — a  plague  on  thy 
tediousness  '."  exclaimed  his  royal  mistress,  angrily ;  but  in 
a  low  voice. 

"  I  have  already  stated  enough  to  satisfy  any  reasonable 
personage  that  smoking  is  but  a  devilish  pastime,  and  there- 
fore not  to  be  tolerated — but  there  is  more  mischief  in  it  yet. 
I  say  it  be  unlawful  and  infinitely  dangerous.  For  let  it  be 
observed  that  smoke  is  black — which  is  likewise  the  colour 
the  devil  most  affects — therefore  to  be  avoided  ;  that  the 
accomplishment  of  smoking  is  an  art — and  the  art  being 
black,  it  standeth  to  reason  it  must  be  a  black  art — and  I 
do  uphold  that  the  exercise  of  the  black  art  in  your  majesty's 
presence  is  heathenish,  treacherous,  and  abominable,  and, 
consequently,  that  yonder  noble  gentleman,  the  captain  of 
your  majesty's  guard,  ought  not  to  be  allowed,  as  is  evi- 
dently his  intention,  to  bewitch  your  majesty  and  overthrow 
the  state." 

"  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  dost  hear  that  weighty  accusation?" 
asked  the  queen,  the  frown  of  impatience  upon  her  face  now 
giving  w^ay  to  an  undisguised  smile:  "hast  thou  had  the 
audacity  to  practise  the  black  art  before  us  1  hast  the  pre- 
sumption to  attempt  to  bewitch  us  and  overthrow  the 
state  1" 

"  Without  attempting  any  defence,  I  will  at  once  throw 
myself  upon  your  majesty's  clemency,  of  which  I  have  had 
such  excellent  experience,"  replied  Sir  Walter — refraining 
awhile  from  his  pipe.  "But  perhaps  I  maybe  allowed  to 
observe,  that  if  I  have  attempted  to  bewitch  your  majesty, 
I  have  followed  the  example  of  one  who,  with  her  admirable 
qualities,  hath  bewitched  all  her  loving  subjects." 

'*  There !  he  confesseth  it,  please  your  majesty,"  cried 
the  old  courtier,  pressing  close  to  the  queen,  "  therefore  I  do 
hold  it  very  comfortable  Christian  doctrine — " 

**  Peace,  fool  !"  cried  her  majesty,  in  a  voice  that  not  only 
made  Lord  Bumble  hear,  but  astonished  him  so,  that  it  sent 
him  staggering  two  or  three  paces  backwards,  upon  the 
delicate  toes  of  some  of  the  maids  of  honour ;  who,  not 
liking  so  impressive  a  salutation,  with  features  expressive  of 
pain  and  anger,  pushed  him  rudely  out  of  the  way,  till  ho 
found  himself  beyond  the  circle,  scarcely  able  to  breathe, 
and  in  a  complete  consternation. 


60  SHAKSPEAUE  ^ 

"  I  do  not  believe  tliat  he  practiseth  the  black  art,"  here 
observed  Mistress  Alice,  who  was  somewhat  of  a  favourite 
with  the  queen,  for  her  lively  temper,  and,  more  than  all,  be- 
cause she  never  seemed  desirous  of  attracting  the  admira- 
tion of  the  noblemen  and  gentlemen  of  the  court ;  "  indeed 
I  will  do  him  the  justice  to  say  that  I  think  him  no  con- 
juror." 

The  queen  laughed,  and,  as  matter  of  course,  the  courtiers 
laughed  also. 

"  Nay,  be  not  so  hard  upon  him,  child,"  said  her  majesty, 
"  remember  he  will  have  to  lose  his  Barbary  courser,  which 
will  sufficiently  punish  him  for  endeavouring  to  cajole  the 
Q,ueen  of  England." 

"  May  it  please  your  majesty,"  said  Sir  Walter  Raleigh, 
coming  into  the  room  with  his  pipe  in  his  hand,  "  I  have 
smoked  out  the  quantity  of  tobacco  agreed  upon." 

"  Haste  thee  and  weigh  the  smoke  then,"  replied  the 
queen  with  a  chuckle  of  delight,  which  was  echoed  by  those 
around  her. 

"  I  will  tell  your  majesty  the  weight  of  the  smoke  in  a  few 
seconds,"  responded  Raleigh,  taking  in  his  hand  a  small  pair 
of  ivory  scales  which  stood  on  an  adjoining  table. 

"  Thou  wilt  never  get  so  much  smoke  into  such  tiny 
balances.  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,"  observed  her  majesty  with 
the  same  tone,  "  so  thou  mayest  as  well  acknowledge  that 
the  wager  is  ours." 

"  Your  majesty  will  be  pleased  to  observe  that  the  weight 
in  this  scale  is  the  exact  weight  of  the  ashes  left  in  the  pipe," 
replied  Sir  Walter,  showing  the  scales,  in  one  of  w^hich  he 
had  put  the  ashes,  at  an  even  balance.  "  Now,  if  your  ma- 
jesty will  graciously  remember  the  weight  of  the  unburnt 
tobacco  upon  which  the  experiment  was  made,  by  subtract- 
ing from  it  the  weight  of  the  ashes,  which  I  have  here  ascer- 
tafned,  the  sum  produced  will  be  the  exact  weight  of  the 
smoke." 

Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  with  the  scales  still  in  his  hand,  wore 
on  his  noble  features,  at  this  moment,  an  expression  of  very 
evident  satisfaction,  as  he  turned  round  and  looked  down 
upon  his  audience — some  of  whom  seemed  incredulous, 
others  wondering,  the  rest  puzzled  what  to  think ;  but  all 
were  waiting  in  silence  the  effect  of  his  announcement  upon 
their  sovereign,  whose  abler  understanding  perceived  at 
once  the  accuracy  of  the  result,  though  it  was  so  different 


AND  HIS  FRIENDg.  61 

from  what  she  had  expected,  and  felt  as  if  she  could  not 
enough  admire  the  simplicity  of  the  method  which  so  easily 
proved  what  she  thought  had  been  impossible. 

"  The  gold  is  thine,  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,"  said  she,  rising 
from  her  chair  with  a  dignity  none  knew  better  how  to  put 
on,  as  she  placed  a  well  filled  purse  in  his  hand,  "  and  fairly 
is  it  won.  There  have  been  many  labourers  in  the  fire 
whose  vast  undertakings  have  ended  in  smoke;  but  thou 
art  the  first  whose  smoke  was  ever  turned  into  gold." 

"  Well,  I  did  not  think  he  was  such  a  superlative  master 
of  hocus  pocus,"  exclaimed  Mistress  Alice,  with  a  wonderful 
elevation  of  her  eyebrows.  "  Please  your  majesty,  if  you 
let  him  go  on  at  this  profitable  rate,  every  conjuror  in  your 
dominions  will  hang  himself  in  despair." 

"  Indeed  'tis  a  very  pretty  piece  of  conjuration,"  said  Lady 
Blanche  Somerset,  opening  her  large  blue  eyes  in  a  seeming 
astonishment;  and  all  the  rest,  though  they  did  in  no  way 
understand  the  matter,  did  rival  each  other  in  ready  praise 
of  Sir  W~alter  Raleigh — except  my  Lord  Bumble,  who  kept 
aloof,  as  if  he  had  not  yet  recovered  from  his  fright  and 
surprise. 

Sir  Walter  having  put  away  the  things  he  was  using, 
placed  his  hand  on  his  heart,  and  kneeling  on  one  knee  be- 
fore her  majesty,  as  she  presented  him  the  purse,  said  hum- 
bly, "  I  pray  your  majesty  to  pardon  me,  that  the  deep  gra- 
titude of  my  heart  at  this  moment,  at  receiving  such  muni- 
ficent and  generous  conduct  from  my  sovereign,  hath  taken 
from  my  poor  tongue  all  adequate  expression.  What  Paris 
must  have  felt  when  he  first  beheld  the  beauteous  Helen, 
I  experience  at  witnessing  such  graces  of  behaviour — with 
the  like  of  which  was  no  princess  ever  blessed — therefore,  if 
I  make  not  too  bold,  I  w^ould  implore  your  majesty,  out  of 
your  right  royal  and  princely  disposition,  and  most  admira- 
ble wisdom,  to  frame,  in  my  behalf,  such  excuse  for  my 
silence  as  your  majesty  may  think  appropriate." 

"  Rise,  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,"  said  the  queen,  graciously 
raising  him  from  the  ground ;  for,  in  truth,  though  waxing 
old,  she  did  find  exceeding  delight  in  having  such  handsome 
gallants  at  her  feet.  "  The  wager  was  honourably  won — 
therefore  our  bestowing  it  doth  call  for  no  gratitude.  We 
are  now  disposed  for  a  stroll  through  yonder  pleasant  walks, 
and  require  thy  attendance."  So  saying,  she  led  the  way, 
with  a  becoming  stateliness,  through  the  glass  doors,  and 

'     VOL.  I.  6 


62  SHAKSPEARE 

stepped  out  into  the  garden,  closely  followed  by  her  captain 
of  the  guard — the  rest  staying  behind,  as  they  had  not  been 
invited.  After  some  little  time  passed  in  the  queen's  garden, 
her  majesty  proceeded  through  divers  passages,  and  through 
the  new  gallery  in  the  palace,  till  she  reached  St.  James's 
Park. 

"  Hath  Master  Edmund  Spenser,  our  poet  laureate,  of 
whom  thou  hast  so  oft  spoke  to  us  so  fair,  been  well  cared 
for,  since  at  thy  request  we  granted  him  an  interview?" 
inquired  her  majesty,  as  they  walked  along. 

"  I  believe  that  my  Lord  Burghley  never  did  any  thing 
for  him,  or  paid  him  his  salary,  please  your  majesty,"  replied 
Sir  Walter.  "  But  I  marvel  not  at  that,  seeing  that  my  lord 
treasurer  hath  not  seemed  in  any  great  degree  affected 
towards  the  inestimable  sweet  delights  of  poetry  and  philo- 
sophy ;  and  yet  one  would  naturally  suppose,  that  serving  a 
mistress  v/ho  hath  so  perfect  a  knowledge  and  so  exquisite 
a  taste  in  those  divine  enjoyments — the  very  Minerva  of  our 
thrice  fortunate  English  land — he  would  have  imbibed  suffi- 
cient inclination  towards  them  as  to  foster  such  as  possess 
them  most — for  the  true  glorification  of  his  illustrious  sove- 
reign, and  to  the  great  advancement  of  his  own  honour." 

"  Ah,  my  Lord  Burghley  is  certainly  somewhat  deficient 
in  such  matters ;  nevertheless  he  is  an  excellent  statesman 
and  a  faithful  servant,"  observed  the  queen.  "  We  will, 
however,  not  allow  Master  Spenser  to  think  himself  un- 
esteemed  of  us,  for  we  remember  well  he  did  read  to  us 
divers  passages  from  a  poem  called  '  the  Fairy  Q,ueen,'  of 
which  we  entertain  a  very  favourable  consideration." 

"  Your  majesty  playeth  ever  the  part  of  the  true  judge  of 
merit,  and  its  most  liberal  patroness,"  exclaimed  Raleigh, 
"  and  happy  are  those  poetic  spirits  who  were  born  to 
flourish  under  such  excellent  auspices.  Surely  they  might 
aptly  be  addressed  in  the  words  of  Lucan  his  Pliarsalia, 

Vos  qiioque,  qui  fortes  animos  belloque  pcrcmptos 
Laudibus  in  longum,  vales,  diffunditis  cevum, 
Plurimu  securi  iudislis  carniina  Bardi. 

It  has  been  left  for  your  majesty's  right  glorious  reign  to 
produce  two  such  unrivalled  geniuses  as  Master  Edmund 
Spenser  and  Master  William  Shakspeare — the  one  as  an 
epic  poet,  who  writeth  to  advance  the  admiration  of  that 
which  is  chivalrous  and  noble,  hath  no  peer ;  the  other  as  an 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  63 

inventor  of  plays — the  which  in  tliis  country  he  may  justly 
be  said  to  be  the  originator — for  judgment,  wit,  imagination, 
and  knowledge  of  human  nature,  standeth  above  all  in  these 
realms.  Master  Spenser  hath  fellowship  with  such  noble 
spirits  as  Komer  and  Virgil,  and  Master  Shakspeare  de- 
serveth  to  stand  on  equal  terms  with  Sophocles  and  Me- 
nander." 

"  We  take  great  delight  in  the  productions  of  this  Shaks- 
peare as  exhibited  at  the  playhouse,"  replied  her  majesty, 
"  and  do  intend  this  afternoon  to  partake  of  the  same 
amusement." 

*'  It  is  an  entertainment  worthy  of  your  majesty's  enjoy- 
ment," responded  Sir  Walter,  "  for  I  take  it  that  players  are 
a  sort  of  looking-glasses,  who  show  humanity  under  all  its 
fashions,  as  it  is  made  to  appear  by  the  dramatist,  to  whom 
these  fashions  are  familiar ;  and  they  who  essay  to  know 
the  world,  its  conduct  and  apparelling,  will  find  no  more 
direct  way  than  the  playhouse,  where  Master  Shakspeare 
and  some  few  who  travel  in  his  footsteps,  are  in  requisition. 
Nor  are  your  majesty's  players  undeserving  of  laudable 
mention,  for  without  tuition  or  previous  example,  they  have 
raised  the  art  from  little  better  than  absolute  vagrancy,  to  a 
profession  honourable  with  the  court,  and  in  good  esteem 
with  the  people." 

"  Ah — there  is  one  Burbage,  is  there  not,  of  notable  ex- 
cellence in  this  artl"  inquired  the  queen.  "  We  have  marked 
him  oft.     He  that  playeth  the  crook-backed  king." 

"  The  same,  please  your  majesty,"  said  Raleigh,  "  which 
showeth  your  majesty's  exquisite  discrimination,  for  he 
beareth  away  the  palm  from  them  all  ;  being  of  an  exceeding 
ingenious  nature,  and  of  a  very  happy  facility  in  taking  upon 
himself  the  characters  of  others — which  showeth  not  only 
when  appearing  as  Richard  the  Third,  though  it  be  a  most 
superlative  piece  of  acting,  as  your  majesty  hath  justly  con- 
ceived— but  in  divers  other  parts  in  which  he  hath  exhibited 
a  similar  excellence." 

Tliey  walked  on  for  some  two  or  three  minutes  without 
saying  ever  a  word. 

"  Rememberest  thou  tliose  lines  of  Virgil,"  asked  her  ma- 
jesty, "  beginning 

Fortunate  senex  !   liic  inter  flumina  nota 
Et  fontes  sacros  ?" 


64  SHAKSPEARE 

"  How  could  I  fail,  please  your  majesty,"  replied  Sir 
Walter,  "  seeing  that  they  form  one  of  the  sweetest  pieces 
of  pastoral  ever  written  by  that  truly  famous  poet,  who  hath 
for  his  epitaph 

Mantua  me  gcnuit,  Calabri  rapuere,  tenet  nunc 
Parthenope,  cecini.Npascua,  rura,  duces." 

"  If  our  judgment  do  not  fail,  they  are  most  happily 
chosen,"  continued  the  queen.  "  How  well  hedescribeth  the 
cool  deliciousness  of  that  pleasant  place,  out  of  the  scorching 
heat  of  the  sun,  where  the  bees  suck  the  dainty  flowers, 
whilst  the  cooing  of  the  dove  and  the  plaint  of  the  turtle  are 
hushed,  that  the  sojourner  therein  might  be  woed  to  repose." 

"  Indeed  it  is  a  marvellous  refreshing  landscape,  and  your 
majesty  doth  show  that  inimitable  appreciation  of  its  ex- 
cellence, which  hath  delighted  me  so  oft  when  discoursing 
upon  other  of  the  ancient  writers,  either  Greek  or  Latin." 

"  There  is  another  picture,  which  maketh  a  fine  contrast 
to  the  foregoing,"  said  her  majesty — who  did  mightily  delight 
to  show  her  learning,  of  which  she  was  very  bountifully 
gifted ;  and  more  especially  took  great  pleasure  in  receiving 
the  praises  of  so  fine  a  scholar  as  the  captain  of  the  guard — 
"  it  is  given  in  Theocritus  his  Idyls,  and  commenceth — 

and  so  goes  on  at  considerable  length." 

"  I  remember  me,"  replied  Sir  Walter,  "  where  the  poet 
describeth  the  luxurious  indolence  of  reclining  on  the  soft 
branches  of  the  vine  and  the  lentisk,  whilst  above,  the  foliage 
of  poplars  and  elms  spreads  a  most  grateful  shade,  and  the 
.murmuring  stream  flowing  below  gives  coolness  to  the  air: 
shrill  grasshoppers  are  chirruping  pleasantly  in  the  green 
sward,  the  sweet  honey-sucking  bees  are  humming  amid  the 
fragrant  blossoms—Philomel  pouring  out  her  melancholy 
song,  concealed  in  the  grove — and  the  turtle  dove  cooing 
dulcetly,  doth  add  a  softer  music  to  the  tuneful  pipe  of  the 
small  birds ;  as,  to  charm  the  eye  equally  with  the  ear,  the 
luscious  fruits  of  summer  and  autumn  are  heaped  all  about, 
showing  piles  of  rosy-cheeked  apples  and  pears,  and  the 
branches  of  the  velvet  plum  overloaded  bending  to  the 
ground.      In  truth,  'tis  a  most  enticing  picture ;    and  the 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  05 

reference  to  it  is  another  instance  of  your  majesty's  unrivalleJ 
familiarity  with  the  treasures  of  classic  song;  and  of  that 
miraculous  fine  taste  which  preferrcth  what  is  most  admira- 
ble, that  giveth  mc  such  frequent  cause  of  infinite  wonder 
and  delight." 

The  queen  did  look  exceeding  pleased  at  this  discourse, 
fanning  herself  all  the  time  very  prettily  as  she  walked 
along,  and  regarding  the  noble  form  and  handsome  attire  of 
the  speaker  with  an  eye  of  favour ;  till  coming  to  a  place 
wliere>  beneath  the  shade  of  a  wide-spreading  beech,  just 
where  the  walk,  screened  on  the  side  by  a  thick  fence  of 
hawthorn,  took  a  sudden  turn  that  shut  them  out  from  view, 
a  commodious  seat  was  placed,  and  her  majesty  did  rest 
herself  thereon.  She  then,  more  at  leisure,  did  scan  the 
rich  habiliments  of  the  gallant  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  as  he 
stood  before  her,  which  seemed  to  give  her  ample  satisfaction, 
though  she  said  never  a  word  ;  he  gazing  upon  her  all  the 
while  with  a  wonderful  show  of  respectful  admiration,  as 
much  as  to  say  that  if  his  tongue  dared  speak  his  thoughts, 
his  heart  would  make  them  right  eloquent. 

"  What  say  est  thou  concerning  the  voyage  thou  wert 
speaking  of]"  at  last  she  inquired  in  her  most  gracious  tone. 

Starting  suddenly,  as  if  recovering  from  a  trance,  he 
replied,  "  I  humbly  pray  your  majesty's  pardon,  for  indeed 
'tis  a  most  notable  truth  that  none  but  the  eagle  can  gaze 
on  the  sun  without  being  dazzled." 

Her  majesty  did  infinitely  relish  such  conceits,  and  her 
eyes  twinkled  with  an  evident  pleasure  as  she  observed  her 
attendant  suddenly  let  fall  his  looks  to  the  ground,  as  if  the 
gazing  upon  her  were  too  much  for  his  humanity. 

"  But  of  the  voyage  I  will  speak,"  continued  he.  "  May 
it  be  known  to  your  majesty,  that  there  are  certain  of  my 
former  companions  in  arms,  with  other  valiant  gentlemen, 
who  are  desirous  of  serving  your  majesty,  and  of  giving 
free  scope  to  their  courageous  spirits  by  doing  damage 
against  the  Spaniard,  have  clubbed  with  me  divers  large 
sums  of  money,  for  the  purpose  of  securing  a  sufTiciency  of 
well-appointed  ships  for  an  expedition  against  Panama,  com- 
bined with  an  intention  of  intercepting  the  Plate  fleet,  the 
riches  whereof  is  almost  incredible.  They  have  funds  enough 
for  thirteen  ships  of  war,  of  the  which,  in  consideration  that 
I  have  sunk  the  whole  of  my  piivate  fortune  in  the  scheme, 
and  that  they  do — doubtless   without   proper   judgment — 

G* 


66  SHAKSPEARE 

acknowledge  me  to  be  the  properest  man  amongst  them  for 
seamanship,  acquaintance  with  the  Spaniards,  and  know- 
ledge of  the  art  of  war,  seek  me  for  to  be  their  admiral, 
whicii,  if  it  be  the  good  pleasure  of  your  majesty,  whose 
poor  soldier  I  am,  I  am  in  no  wise  unwilling  to  be :  but  to 
make  the  consequence  we  seek  the  more  sure,  I  would  hum- 
bly pray  of  your  majesty  such  assistance  in  men,  money, 
and  ships,  as  would  put  all  thought  of  misadventure  out  of 
the  question,  the  granting  of  the  which  I  feel  assured  w^ould 
tend  greatly  to  the  complete  crippling  of  your  most  notorious 
enemies,  the  addition  of  abundance  of  glory  to  your  reign, 
and  the  vast  enrichment  of  your  exchequer." 

"  Thou  speakest  us  fair,  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,"  said  the 
queen,  w^ho  had  paid  very  strict  attention  to  what  he  had 
advanced ;  but  however  partial  she  might  be  upon  occasion, 
she  was  rarely  to  be  drawn  away  from  a  consideration  of 
her  own  advantage.  "  Thou  speakest  us  fair,  and  were  we 
not  as  well  acquainted  with  thee  as  we  are,  having  recol- 
lection of  services  done  by  thee  against  the  boasted  armada, 
which  by  God's  good  help  we  utterly  discomfited,  and  at 
other  times  against  those  empty  praters  and  wretched  vil- 
lains the  Spaniards — and  remembering  also  thy  skill  in  dis- 
covering strange  lands,  do  put  some  confidence  in  thy  as- 
sertions ;  nevertheless,  it  is  necessary  we  be  informed  what 
share  of  the  spoil  shall  be  ours  in  case  we  afford  such 
assistance  as  thou  requirest  ]" 

Sir  Walter,  in  no  way  disconcerted  at  this,  as  he  knew 
her  majesty's  disposition,  answered  with  a  very  becoming 
humility,  "  Far  be  it  from  me  to  endeavour  to  make  a  bar- 
gain with  my  sovereign ;  but  your  majesty's  condescension 
is  so  great,  and  your  liberality  1  have  experienced  in  so 
bountiful  a  measure,  I  am  emboldened  to  say,  that  according 
to  the  amount  of  the  service  rendered  shall  your  majesty 
partake  of  the  treasures  gained." 

"  How  many  ships  dost  require?"  asked  the  queen. 

"  As  many  as  your  majesty  can  generously  assist  us 
with,"  replied  Sir  Walter. 

"  If  we  allow  thee  half  a  dozen,  properly  equipped  and 
provided  for  with  all  the  munitions  of  war,  we  shall  expect 
to  share  one  half  of  the  spoil." 

"  Your  majesty's  generosity  exceeds  my  expectations," 
exclaimed  Raleigh ;  though,  if  the  truth  may  be  told,  he  did 
feel  a  little  put  out  at  the  unfairness  of  the  bargain. 


AND  HIS  FRIEND5.  67 

"  Then  if  those  conditions  be  accepted,  we  do  appoint 
thee  admiral  of  the  fleet,"  continued  the  queen,  "  and  will 
see  that  thou  hast  proper  warrant  for  it,  with  power  to 
officer  thine  own  ships  as  it  pleaseth  thee — reserving  to 
ourselves  the  right  of  appointing  a  vice-admiral,  to  officer 
our  ships  as  we  think  proper." 

"  Never  had  servant  so  bounteous  a  mistress :"  cried 
Sir  Walter,  as  he  knelt  at  the  feet  of  the  queen,  seemingly 
in  a  transport  of  gratitude.  "  In  truth,  if  I  am  not  allowed 
to  pour  out  the  overflowings  of  my  most  grateful  spirit, 
I  must  be  dumb  ever  after.  Oh,  where  shall  the  most  pas- 
sionate lover  that  ever  sought  to  do  noble  deeds  in  honour 
nf  her  whom  he  served,  find  such  absolute  cause  for  the 
impelling  of  his  valour  as  that  which  moveth  me  ?  Had 
Arthur  and  all  his  right  famous  Knights  of  the  Round  Table 
lived  in  these  more  fortunate  days,  to  have  beheld  the  peer- 
less Elizabeth,  what  chivalrous  doings  would  have  been 
enacted,  that  are  lost  to  the  world  1  But  then  how  much 
have  1  reason  to  congratulate  myself  that  I,  who  am  nothing 
except  in  the  eyes  of  the  divine  Parthenia,  whom  it  is  ray 
happiness  to  serve — the  very  sovereign  of  beauty  and  queen 
of  my  heart's  best  affections,  should  not  only  live  in  the 
time  which  her  existence  hath  made  glorious,  but  should  be 
allowed  to  breathe  in  her  presence  and  bask  in  the  imperial 
sunshine  of  her  eyes — nay,  honour  never  to  be  too  highly 
prized,"  continued  he  with  more  vehemence,  taking  her 
hand,  as  he  observed  that  the  stateliness  of  the  queen  was 
sinking  before  the  vanity  of  the  woman,  "  that  out  of  her 
exceeding  condescension  and  wonderful  goodness,  she  some- 
times enricheth  my  soul  with  her  most  moving  smiles,  and 
vouchsafest  me  the  supreme  happiness  of  pressing  my  lips 
upon  her  ivory  hand." 

"  Nay,  Sir  Walter,  thou  wilt  devour  it  sure :"  exclaimed 
the  queen,  coyly  attempting  to  withdraw  her  hand,  which 
he  then  impressed  with  a  hundred  eager  caresses ;  but  she 
was  too  well  pleased  with  the  action,  and  too  much  de- 
lighted in  seeing  so  noble  a  gentleman  at  her  feet,  to  use 
any  great  degree  of  force,  and  the  hand  continued  to  be 
caressed  as  passionately  as  at  first. 

"  Oh,  might  I  but  be  allowed  to  ask  one  favour — one 
sweet — one  precious  favour  1"  said  Raleigh,  gazing  in  her 
face  with  as  much  apparent  rapture  as  if  she  had  been  a 
young  and  blooming  Hebe,  instead  of  much  nearer  resem- 


G8  SHAKSPEARE 

bllng  a  superannuated  Diana  of  some  sixty  years  or  so. 
The  queen  kept  lier  peace,  looking  very  basliful,  not  know- 
ing but  something  might  be  required  of  her  it  would  be 
scarcely  proper  [or  her  virgin  modesty  to  grant ;  when 
Sir  Walter  continued — "  When  I  am  doing  furious  battle 
with  the  enemy,  I  know  of  nothing  which  would  so,  much 
strengthen  my  resolution,  and  afford  me  consolation  in  all 
the  delays  I  may  meet  with  in  my  scarcely  endurable  ab- 
sence from  my  absolute  and  incomparable  Angelica,  as  a 
lock  of  that  golden  hair,  which  to  me  seemeth  brighter  than 
are  the  beams  of  Phoebus  topping  the  eastern  hills :  deign 
then  to  satisfy  your  majesty's  humble  and  truly  devoted 
slave,  and  pardon  the  deep  yet  most  respectful  adoration 
that  doth  seek  so  invaluable  a  gift." 

"  In  very  truth,  Sir  Waller,  if  thou  seekest  only  so  simple 
a  thing  of  us,  we  see  no  harm  in  its  disposal,"  replied  her 
majesty  very  graciously.  "  Therefore  set  thy  mind  at  ease. 
Thou  shalt  have  it  by  a  trusty  messenger  before  thou  leavest 
our  shores," 

*'  Ah  !"  exclaimed  he  with  a  passionate  look,  as  he  pressed 
the  hand  he  held  to  his  heart.  "  Your  majesty's  unexampled 
goodness  hath  already  made  my  poor  heart  bankrupt  in 
thanks." 

'*  Hush  !"  cried  the  queen,  suddenly  snatching  away  her 
hand,  and  putting  her  finger  to  her  lip.  "  Who  are  these  that 
dare  to  intrude  upon  our  privacy?" 

Just  at  that  moment  footsteps  were  heard  approaching  along 
the  walk  on  the  other  side  of  the  fence,  and  voices  of  two 
persons  in  conversation  were  distinguished.  They  spoke  low, 
but  the  words  "Raleigh" — "Elizabeth,"  and  "intrigue," 
were  distinctly  audible. 

"  Now,  by  God's  wounds,  we'll  not  suffer  this  !"  exclaim- 
ed the  queen,  starting  up  with  a  face  crimsoned  with  rage. 
"  Arrest  them,  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  whoever  they  be." 

"  Let  me  entreat  of  your  Majesty" — 

"What,  are  we  not  obeyed  ?"  cried  the  queen,  quickly  in- 
terrupting him,  and  casting  on  him  a  look  of  terrible  menace 
when  she  observed  that  he  hesitated  to  obey  her  command. 

'*  On  the  knees  of  my  heart,  let  a  faithful  servant" — 

"Away,  traitor!"  fiercely  exclaimed  her  mnjesty  to  her 
kneeling  favourite,  as  she  brushed  by  him  ;  and  with  haughty 
steps  strode  towards  the  turning  in  the  walk,  which  would 
give  her  a  view  of  the  spot  whence  the  sounds  had  proceeded  ; 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  69 

but  behold  !  when  she  had  there  arrived,  no  one  person  was 
visible,  at  which  she  marvelled  greatly.  She  looked  among 
the  trees,  but  could  see  nothing,  and  much  chafed  tliereat,  re- 
turned to  where  she  had  left  Sir  Walter,  as  it  may  be  said, 
with  considerable  siiow  of  truth,  trembling  in  his  shoes  at  the 
imminent  peril  of  his  situation  ;  but  he  knew  the  character  of 
his  mistress  thorouglily,  and  his  alarm  soon  giving  way,  set 
liim  upon  putting  forward  a  stroke  of  policy  which  should  re- 
awaken all  the  influence  he  had  lost ;  so  that,  when  her  ma- 
jesty came  back  to  the  place  she  had  left,  sweeping  along, 
frowning  majestically,  and  with  a  mind  filled  with  thoughts  of 
inflicting  the  most  complete  disgrace  upon  her  captain  of  the 
guard,  she  beheld  a  sight  so  piteous,  that  all  the  dread  sove- 
reign did  give  place  to  the  sympathising  woman,  for  there 
knelt  Sir  Waller  Raleigh  exactly  where  he  had  before  kneeled, 
as  if  he  was  chained  unto  the  spot,  gazing  upon  vacancy,  with 
a  look  so  despairing  and  wo-begone,  that  it  would  have  melt- 
ed a  heart  of  adamant.  To  her  exceeding  astonishment,  he 
noticed  not  her  appearance  before  him — albeit  he  saw  her  well 
enough — but  continued  with  a  fixed  and  glassy  gaze  to  stare 
into  the  empty  air  like  one  utterly  bereft  of  reason  ;  and  being 
moved  with  pity  to  behold  so  gallant  a  man,  and  one  withal, 
who  was  the  best  dressed  gentleman  in  all  her  court,  in  so 
sorry  a  plight,  she  presently  went  up  to  him  and  placed  her 
hand  upon  his  shoulder,  saying  kindly,  *'  Sir  Walter,  what 
aileth  thee?"  whereupon,  with  a  long  drawn  sigh  that  seemed 
to  come  from  the  very  bottom  of  his  heart,  he  lifted  up  his 
eyes  to  her  face,  and  then,  as  if  struck  with  a  sudden  recollec- 
tion, he  sunk  down  his  head,  and  did  hide  his  face  in  his 
palms,  with  a  groan  so  hollow  and  sepulchral,  that  her  ma- 
jesty thouglit  he  was  about  to  give  up  the  ghost. 

"  Nay,  nay,  take  not  on  so — take  not  on  so.  Sir  Walter. 
We  mean  thee  no  harm,  be  assured,"  said  the  queen,  now  in 
a  very  trepidation,  which  assurance  was  comfortable  enough 
to  her  forlorn  captain  of  the  guard,  but  who,  nevertheless, 
with  a  most  pitiful  accent  exclaimed — 

"  Let  me  die  at  your  majesty's  feet,  for  I  am  unworthy  to 
live,  having  angered  so  good  a  mistress." 

"  Odds  piiiikins,  man,  think  not  of  dying,"  replied  the  queen 
in  her  most  gracious  lone. 

"  In  sad  truth,  if  I  be  deprived  of  the  most  delectable  happi- 
ness of  gazing  on  such  exquisite  perfection  as  hath  so  oft  de- 
lighted mine  eyes,  I  am  utterly  undone.     I  have  no  desire  to 


70  SHAKSPEARE 

live,'*  continued  he  very  movingly.  At  which  the  queen  was 
not  a  whit  displeased,  for,  it  is  out  of  all  contradiction,  she 
had  vanity  enough  to  believe  that  the  deprivation  of  the  be- 
holding her  charms,  would  produce  so  fatal  an  effect. 

"Despair  not — and  if  we  find  that  thou  still  deservest  our 
esteem,  thou  shall  have  no  cause  for  fear,"  said  her  majesty 
in  a  manner  she  thought  likely  to  put  him  into  some  hope. 
"Rise,  Sir  Waller  Raleigh,  and  return  with  us  to  the  palace 
— we  will  inquire  into  this  matter." 

"I  am  rooted  to  the  earth,"  replied  he,  in  the  most  sorrow- 
ful voice  that  ever  was  heard.  "  The  fear  of  your  majesty's 
displeasure  hath  fixed  me  to  the  ground.  I  have  no  power  to 
move.  How  much  would  those  wretched  traitors  rejoice  who, 
to  get  me  into  disgrace,  envying  me  your  majesty's  good  opi- 
nion, that  I  prize  as  Jason  did  his  Medea,  and  which,  as  she 
taught  him  to  tame  the  brazen-footed  bulls,  and  cast  asleep  the 
watchful  dragon  that  guarded  the  golden  fleece,  hath  inspired 
me  to  like  honourable  and  famous  deeds, — to  witness  the  very 
piteous  strait  to  which  I  am  reduced  by  the  efl'ect  of  their 
contemptible  trick  to  slander  the  most  excellent,  chaste,  and 
beauteous  princess  that  ever  did  adorn  this  sublunary  world." 

*'  Dost  think  'twas  a  trick?"  inquired  she  earnestly. 

"How  could  it  be  else,  please  your  majesty?"  replied  Sir 
Walter,  albeit  he  knew  all  the  time,  having,  from  a  better  sense 
of  hearing,  heard  more  than  the  queen,  that  the  conversation 
alluded  to  his  amour  with  Mistress  Elizabeth  Throckmorton, 
though  he  could  not  distinguish  to  whom  the  voices  belonged; 
but  seeing  that  her  majesty  had  fancied  that  it  was  in  allusion 
to  her,  was  resolved  to  take  advantage  of  that  mistake.  "  Is  not 
your  majesty  well  known,  with  all  the  superlative  accomplish- 
ments of  the  nine  immortal  daughters  of  Jupiter  and  Mnemo- 
syne, to  unite  with  them  the  exquisite  truth  and  modesty  of 
the  goddess  Veritas  and  the  Vestals — and  how  could  those 
villanous  traducers,  whoever  they  be,  give  utterance  to  so 
notorious  a  calumny,  unless  it  were,  that  I  should  reap  dis- 
advantage thereby;  but  relying  on  your  majesty's  noble  quali- 
ties and  proper  sense  of  what  is  due  to  your  own  dignity,  I 
feel  convinced,  that  the  paltry  trick  will  be  regarded  with  the 
contempt  it  dolh  deserve — only  awaiting  your  majesty's  par- 
don, without  which  I  am  naught,  to  release  me  from  this  right 
painful  and  unhappy  posture." 

"  Rise,  Sir  Walter  Raleigh — thy  pardon  is  granted  thee, 
and  there  is  our  hand  upon  it,"  said  the  queen,  in  her  most 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  71 

gracious  manner,  chiving  him  her  hand,  the  which  he  did 
again  press  to  his  lips,  but  in  a  style  more  respectful  than 
before,  "  We'll  think  no  more  of  these  paltry  tricksters — but 
will  show  them  how  little  we  can  be  affected  by  their  vil- 
lanous  yet  most  contemptible  slanders."  Then  did  she  very 
kindly  raise  him  from  the  ground,  and  return  to  the  with- 
drawing room  conversing  with  him  all  the  way  on  matters 
relating  to  his  projected  voyage  in  a  way,  the  friendliness 
whereof,  he  had  rarely  experienced. 


CHAPTER  V. 

Ambition  Is  a  vulture  vile 

That  feedeth  on  the  heart  of  pride. 
And  finds  no  rest  when  all  is  tried; 
For  worlds  cannot  confine  the  one. 
The  other  lists  and  bounds  hath  none  ; 
And  both  subvert  the  mind,  the  state, 
Procure  destruction,  emy,  hate. 

Daxiei. 

Ag-ainst  bad  tong-ues  goodness  cannot  defend  her 
Those  be  most  free  from  faults  they  least  will  spare. 
But  prate  of  them  whom  they  have  scantly  known. 
Judging  their  humours  to  be  fike  their  own. 

Sir  Johx  Harhis^gtox. 

"  My  Lord  of  Essex,  you  may  account  me  your  true 
friend  in  this  business,"  said  a  dwarfish  and  ill-favoured 
person  soberly  clad,  to  a  handsome  and  gorgeously  dressed 
gallant — having  remarkable  dark  eyes,  and  a  rich  glossy 
beard,  very  full  at  "the  bottom — as  they  sat  over  against 
each  other  in  a  chamber  hung  round  with  abundance  of  an- 
cient armour. 

"  I  think  I  may,  Sir  Robert  Cecil,"  replied  he,  addressed 
as  the  Earl  of  Essex,  looking  moodily  all  the  time,  as  if  there 
was  something  that  mightily  vexed  him.  "  She  hath  quar- 
relled with  me  at  primero,  only  because  I  did  drop  some- 
thing that  to  her  appeared  to  call  in  question  her  skill  with 
the  cards ;  and  she  hath  spoke  to  me  never  a  word  since. 
'S blood !  one  had  need  be  a  beggar's  dog  as  put  up  with 
such  humours." 

"  Nay,  but  the  queen  is  a  most  bounteous  mistress,"  ob- 
served the  other,  in  a  tone  of  apology ;  "  and  though  at 


72  3HAKSPEARE 

times  she  be  easily  displeased,  yet  is  she  quickly  move     io 
make  amends  if  undeserved  disadvantage  come  of  it." 

"  But  she  is  too  prone  to  such  capriciousness,  and  I'll 
stomach  it  no  longer ;"  exclaimed  his  companion,  his  bril- 
liant eyes  flashing  very  haughtily  as  he  kept  playing  with 
the  jewelled  pommel  of  his  dagger.  "  What !  shall  it  be  said 
that  the  Lord  Essex  is  fit  for  nothing  better  than  to  play  the 
pet  falcon  with,  to  be  whistled  to,  and  driven  off,  as  it  suit- 
eth  a  woman's  idle  fantasies  V 

"  Fie  on  you,  my  lord  !"  cried  Cecil,  with  an  exceeding 
grave  countenance.  "  I  would  not  the  queen  should  hear  of 
this  for  as  much  as  your  earldom." 

"  Let  her — Icare  not ;"  said  the  Lord  Essex,  sharply. 

"  Now,  look  you  there,  was  ever  obstinate  man  so  bent 
on  his  own  destruction  T"  exclaimed  the  other,  "  But  I  will 
do  you  a  service  as  far  as  my  poor  ability  goeth  ;  for  sure 
am  I,  that  you  have  no  friend  so  earnest  to  advance  your 
interests  as  Robert  Cecil,  if  you  will  only  look  upon  him  as 
such.'* 

"  I  thank  you,  heartily,"  replied  his  companion ;  but  in  no 
way  relaxing  the  frown  that  had  settled  on  his  brows. 

"  Nay,  I  seek  no  thanks,"  rejoined  Sir  Robert,  "  for,  inas- 
much as  my  honoured  father  hath  been  your  guardian — to 
say  naught  of  the  noble  qualities  I  do  behold  in  you — have 
I  ever  felt  disposed  to  do  you  a  service.  Believe  me,  I  would 
do  good  for  the  good's  sake.  Now,  my  lord,  in  this  matter, 
be  advised  by  me ;  for  though  seek  I  in  no  way  to  push 
forth  my  judgment  before  one  that  is  so  ripe  as  your  own, 
yet,  as  your  lordship  is  somewhat  apt  to  get  heated  at  these 
things,  being  touched  by  them  more  nearly  than  another,  I, 
having  more  coolness,  which  is  the  greatest  help  to  reflec- 
tion, may  be  considered  better  qualified  to  form  an  unbiassed 
opinion ;  therefore,  I  do  beseech  you,  in  all  true  friendship, 
be  advised  of  me." 

"  What  counsel  you,  Sir  Robert  Cecil  V  inquired  his 
lordship. 

"  Mark  you  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  ]"  asked  the  other. 

"  What  hath  he  to  do  with  it  V  said  my  Lord  Essex,  very 
proudly. 

"  Truly,  he  is  a  noble  gentleman,"  replied  his  companion  ; 
"  he  is  one  that  hath  many  commendable  parts,  being  in 
outward  show  right  manly  to  look  upon ;  the  which  he  doth 
put  to  great  advantage,  by  apparelling  liimself  very  daintily. 


AND  Ills  FRIENDS.  73 

Indeed,  though  I  be  no  judge  of  these  things,  I  have  heard  it 
said  by  others,  that  for  the  fashioning  of  a  doublet,  he  hath 
not  his  peer,  r'or  mine  own  part,  I  envy  him  not  such  an 
accomplishment,  thinking  that  it  more  becometh  a  tailor  than 
a  gentleman.  Nevertheless,  he  is  doubtless  to  be  praised 
for  it,  seeing  that  it  showeth  his  great  anxiety  to  please  her 
majesty,  who,  it  is  well  known  to  him,  taketh  exceeding  de- 
h'ght  in  beholding  such  braveries ;  the  which  he  continually 
turneth  to  his  profit.  But  he  hath  other  gifts  that  do  the 
more  recommend  him  to  the  queen's  favour  ;  he*  hath  held 
liimself  valiantly  in  the  wars,  and  hath  the  reputation  of  the 
most  experienced  soldier  in  the  queen's  service ;  though  I, 
for  one,  do  think  there  be  his  betters  not  far  off.  Then — so 
it  be  said,  though  I  know  not  how  true  it  be, — his  know- 
ledge of  seamanship  is  inferior  to  none ;  which  hath  not  only 
enabled  him  to  exhibit  his  valour  against  the  enemy  with 
great  effect ;  but  hath  given  him  marvellous  facilities  in  the 
discovery  of  strange  lands.  Besides  which,  they  that  take 
upon  themselves  to  know  this  phcenix,  do  give  out  that  he  is 
a  very  Solomon  for  wisdom,  and  is  wonderfully  quick  at 
penning  a  stanza." 

"  And  what  hath  all  this  to  do  with  the  matter]"  haughtily 
inquired  my  Lord  Essex,  who,  though  he  could  not  help  ad- 
miring the  character  of  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  liked  not  to  hear 
of  his  praises  so  conspicuously. 

*'  Much  more,  my  good  lord,  than  it  doth  appear  to  you," 
replied  Cecil,  in  a  tone  and  with  a  manner  of  great  meaning. 
*'  Mark  me  !  I  do  not  blame  this  valiant  gentleman  for  wish- 
ing to  make  the  most  of  his  qualifications,  for  it  is  natural 
for  a  man  to  advance  his  fortunes  as  well  as  he  can ;  but  if 
he,  standing  upon  the  opinion  some  have  of  him,  which  in 
all  honesty  seemeth  to  me  strangely  overrated,  seek  to  gain 
the  first  place  at  court,  and  poison  the  queen's  ear  against 
the  absent — " 

At  this  moment  my  Lord  of  Essex,  who  had  exhibited 
signs  of  great  impatience  during  the  speech  of  his  com- 
panion— with  his  handsome  countenance  hugely  disturbed — 
leaped  suddenly  upon  his  feet,  and  exclaimed — 

**  By  God's  wrath,  if  he  hath  slandered  me,  I'll  make  him 
rue  it." 

*'  Nay,  I  said  not  that,  my  good  lord,"  observed  the 
crafty  Cecil,  with  a  show  of  sincerity.  "  Indeed,  far  be  it 
from  me  to  give  you  so  ill  an  opinion  of  one  who,  beyond 

VOL.  I.  7 


74  SIlAKSrEARE 

all  dispute,  hath  signalised  himself  very  honourably;  hut 
your  absence  doth  throw  great  temptation  in  his  way.  I 
pray  you  be  seated,  my  lord  : — and  there  are  some  men — 
such  is  the  perversity  of  human  nature — who  think  it  no 
discredit  to  them  to  build  their  rise  by  working  at  the  fall 
of  their  betters.  I  would  you  would  not  stand,  my  lord : — 
not  that  I  think  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  is  of  such  kind,  but 
being  the  captain  of  the  guard,  in  constant  attendance  on 
the  queen,  where  he  hath  many  opportunities  to  drop  hints 
to  your  disadvantage,  which  in  charity  I  do  not  think  he 
would : — I  would  say,  perhaps  he  might,  as  the  only  way  of 
dispossessing  you  of  that  high  seat  in  the  queen's  grace  you 
so  worthily  fill,  be  induced  to  increase  her  majesty's  dis- 
pleasure against  you  as  much  as  lay  in  his  power.  But  be 
seated,  I  pray  you,  my  lord." 

"  If  he  attempt  it,  were  he  twenty  Sir  Walter  Raleighs,  he 
should  have  his  deserts,"  said  the  proud  noble,  evidently 
much  disturbed  by  what  he  had  heard ;  then,  smiling  con- 
temptuously, added,—"  but  he  dare  not,"  and  quickly  re- 
sumed his  seat. 

"  There  are  we  of  the  same  opinion,"  observed  Cecil, 
who,  with  an  unmoved  countenance,  had  all  the  time  kept 
a  careful  scrutiny  of  the  features  of  his  companion.  "  When 
I  consider  that  he  is  nothing  better  than  a  simple  knight, 
whilst  you,  my  good  lord,  are  known  to  be  connected  with 
the  powerfulest  families  in  the  kingdom,  and  even  stand  in 
some  relationship  with  the  queen's  majesty,  I  do  conceive 
that  he  hath  more  wit  than  to  attempt  such  a  mad  scheme 
as  the  driving  you  away  from  the  court,  that  he  might  sup- 
ply your  place  ;  nevertheless,  speaking  from  the  love  I  bear 
you,  I  do  advise  that  you  keep  with  the  queen  as  much  as 
may  be  possible ;  thereby  shall  you  hinder  all  foolish  specu- 
lations of  the  kind,  that  may  be  built  upon  your  absence, 
and  notice  for  yourself  whether  this  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  be 
inclined  to  push  himself  forward  at  your  expense,  as  some 
say ;  though,  for  mine  own  part,  I  do  not  think  of  his  dis- 
position so  badly,  having,  in  all  my  intercourse  with  him, 
found  him  to  be  a  gentleman  of  very  excellent  integrity. 
Allow  me  also  to  hope,  that  what  my  zeal  for  you  hath  em- 
boldened me  to  say,  you  will  not  take  in  ill  part,  assuring 
you,  that  of  all  men  living,  is  there  not  one  I  hold  in  so 
much  respect  as  yourself." 

"  I  am  greatly  beholden  to  you,  and  will  think  of  your  ad- 


AND  Ills  FRIENDS.  75 

\'icc,"  replied  my  Lord  Essex,  rising,  with  considerable  as- 
sumption of  dignity,  from  iiis  chair,  as  he  began  putting  on 
his  embroidered  gloves,  "  but  where  is  my  Lord  Burghley?" 
"My  father  hath  not  long  returned  from  the  council,"  said 
his  companion  :  "  he  is  greatly  fatigued,  and  hath  gone  to 
rest,  desiring  not  to  be  disturbed.  I  pray  you,  my  good 
lord,  excuse  seeing  him  to-day." 

"  In  truth  I  have  no  particular  business  with  him,"  said 
his  lordship,  carelessly,  as  he  arranged  a  costly  silk  cloak 
he  wore  upon  his  shoulder ;  "  commend  mc  to  him,  Sir 
Robert,  and,  if  it  be  not  displeasing  to  you,  I  will  see  you 
again  on  this  matter  at  a  fitting  hour." 

"  I  shall  feel  proud  of  the  honour  you  will  do  me,  my  good 
lord,"  replied  Cecil,  as,  with  much  show  of  respect,  he  fol- 
lowed his  visiter  out  of  the  door,  when  he  had  put  on  his 
hat,  which  was  of  a  high  crown,  with  a  precious  jewel  in 
the  front ;  and  made  the  serving-men,  some  of  whom  were 
straggling  about  the  hall,  hasten  to  open  the  gates,  where  he 
kept  bowing  to  my  Lord  Essex  very  courteously,  who  re- 
ceived his  salutations  with  a  haughty  inclination  of  the  head, 
before  he  moved  away  from  Exeter  House,  to  cross  to  the 
river  where  he  had  left  his  barge  ;  and  then  the  other  came 
back,  seemingly  in  a  very  thoughtful  mood,  to  the  armoury, 
and  fastened  himself  in. 

He  had  sat  himself  down  therein  scarcely  a  minute,  when 
he  was  aware  of  a  gentle  tapping  at  the  wainscot;  which  as 
soon  as  he  heard,  a  smile  of  peculiar  meaning  passed  over 
his  grave  features,  and  going  directly  to  a  place  where  hung 
a  suit  of  Saracen  mail,  he  did  presently  open  a  concealed 
door,  and  there  entered  thereat  Lord  Henry  Howard. 

"Hast  any  news?"  asked  Sir  Robert,  eagerly. 

"  Indeed  have  I,"  said  my  lord. 

"Good  news?"  inquired  Cecil. 

"  Excellent  good  news,"  replied  his  companion. 

"  From  the  Scottish  king,  eh,  my  good  lord  ?"  said  the 
other,  in  a  whisper. 

"  No,  i'  faith — it  hath  not  tfavelled  so  far :  'tis  English 
news ; — news  of  our  incomparable  captain  of  the  guard." 

"  Ha !  what,  doth  he  seem  inclined  to  take  the  bait,  and 
quarrel  with  Essex  ?"  inquired  the  other. 

"  I  doubt  it  much,"  responded  his  companion  ;  "  I  moved 
him  a  little,  but  not  sufficient  to  ground  any  such  hopes 
upon." 


76  SHAKSPEARE 

"  'Tis  enough,"  exclaimed  Cecil,  "  each  Is  jealous  of  the 
other,  and  very  small  things  wjII  suffice  to  increase  their 
mutual  ill  will.  I  have  had  Essex  here,  and  have  just  suc- 
ceeded in  stirring  up  his  ancient  animosity  against  Raleigh, 
and  I  will  take  good  heed  it  shall  not  go  out  for  want  of 
fuel.     See  you  my  object  V 

"  To  ruin  both  in  good  time,  I  hope,"  said  Lord  Howard. 
"  True ; — but  more  immediately  to  play  one  against  the 
other,  that  we  may  take  advantage  of  their  disunion ;  for 
were  they  strict  friends,  they  would  be  too  strong  for  us  ;  or 
were  either  to  be  allowed  to  proceed  in  his  course  without 
molestation  of  a  rival,  he  would  soon  have  too  firm  a  seat 
for  us  to  shake  him  out.  We  will  set  them  by  the  ears,  and 
I  doubt  not  we  shall  find  our  profit  in  it.  But  what  news 
have  you  of  Raleigh?" 

"  What  think  you  of  a  dainty  intrigue  nov/  with  one  of 
the  maids  of  honour?" 

"No  !"  cried  the  other,  incredulously. 
"Just  ripe  for  a  discovery — a  private  marriage  about  to 
take  place,  to  hide  the  unwelcome  consequences." 

"  To  whom — where  is  she — what  is  her  name  ?"  hastily 
inquired  Cecil,  showing  by  the  earnest  expression  of  his 
countenance,  the  interest  he  took  in  the  intelligence. 

"  She  is  no  other  than  the  right  modest  daughter  of  old 
Sir  Nicholas  Throckmorton." 

"  The  fool's  ruined,"  exclaimed  Sir  Robert ;  "  but  how 
know  you  this  ?  how  can  it  be  proved  ?" 

"  I  was  informed  of  it  by  my  Lady  Howard  of  Walden," 
said  the  other.  "  Her  ladyship,  as  it  seemeth  to  me,  having 
been  slighted  by  this  Raleigh, — I  know  not  why,  for  truly 
she  is  rather  a  dainty  piece  of  goods  to  look  upon  ; — and 
suspecting  from  certain  observations  she  had  made,  that  he 
was  the  welcome  lover  of  the  virtuous  Elizabeth,  impelled 
by  jealousy,  did  conceal  herself  in  Mistress  Throckmorton's 
chamber,  and  jieard  the  whole  of  the  precious  secret — and 
now  her  indignant  ladyship  is  burning  to  tell  it  to  the 
queen." 

"  She  must  be  stopped  awhile — she  will  spoil  all  else," 
cried  his  companion,  eagerly.  "  This  is  a  delicate  affair,  my 
good  lord,  and  requireth  very  careful  handling,  or  else  mis- 
chief will  come  of  it." 

"  I  thought  it  of  consequence,  and  bade  her  stay  the  dis- 
covery till  I  had  seen  you  on  the  subject,  which  she  hath 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  77 

promised  me.  But  the  best  of  the  jest  is,  whilst  we  were  in 
earnest  conversation  on  this  very  matter,  along  one  of  the 
walks  in  the  park,  the  queen,  who  was  on  the  other  side  of 
the  fence  near  which  we  stood,  without  our  knowledge  of  it, 
overheard  us,  as  I  suppose  ;  for  we  presently  recognised  her 
voice  very  loud,  calling  upon  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  to  arrest 
us  ;  the  which  put  us  both  in  such  a  fright,  that  each  of  us 
did  suddenly  run  for  it  as  if  our  lives  depended  on  our  speed 
of  foot.  Never  ran  I  half  so  fast  in  all  my  days;  and  as  for 
my  fair  cousin- — by  this  light,  there  never  was  such  a  racer. 
It  would  have  done  your  heart  good  to  have  seen  us,  like 
two  Spanish  galeasses,  cutting  before  the  wind  with  all  sail, 
to  get  out  of  the  reach  of  an  English  frigate.  Thanks  to  the 
fleetness  of  our  heels,  we  escaped  ;  but  my  Lady  Howard 
liath  got  such  a  fright  that  she  will  scarce  dare  to  open  her 
mouth  before  the  queen  for  some  time  to  come." 

"  So  much  the  better,"  observed  his  companion,  drily. 

"  I  left  her  to  calm  herself  at  her  leisure,  and  hastened 
through  the  private  gate  in  the  garden  to  seek  you  here  by 
the  secret  way." 

"  You  did  right,  my  good  lord,"  said  Cecil,  as  he  sat  him- 
self down,  somewhat  abstractedly,  leaning  his  head  npon  his 
hand. 

"  And  now,  methinks,  this  fine  fellow,  who  evidently  liveth 
in  the  opinion  that  nothing  is  so  good  as  that  wiiich  he 
doeth,  hath  done  for  himself;  and  /  shall  not  be  sorry  for 
one.  I  like  not  such  whippersnappers — persons  of  no  ex- 
traction— ignoble  adventurers,  who  are  ever  thrusting  them- 
selves before  their  superiors,  and  winning  from  them  such 
honours  as  they  alone  were  born  to  possess.  Indeed,  this 
Raleigh  is  a  most  pestilent  piece  of  conceit,  and  I  mislike 
him  hugely  :  I  shall  glory  in  his  downfall ;  and  I  care  not 
how  low  his  pride  is  humbled.  Besides,  when  he  hath  been 
put  out  of  the  way,  there  will  be  only  the  haughty  Essex  to 
cope  with  ;  who  must  easily  be  overthrown,  for  he  hath  not 
the  cunning  of  the  other." 

"  Tush,  my  lord,"  exclaimed  Cecil,  with  some  impatience; 
"  see  you  not,  that  if  Raleigh  be  quite  removed,  Essex  will 
be  paramount]  'Tis  a  business  that  must  be  managed  with 
exceeding  delicacy.  Hark!"  he  cried,  in  a  more  subdued 
voice,  rising  quickly  from  his  seat,  and  opening  the  secret 
door  as  the  Lord  Howard  prepared  to  depart,  "  Here  are 
visiters  coming.     Haste  and  tell  my  Lady  Howard  not  to 

7* 


78  SKAKSPEARE 

stir  in  this  matter  till  I  havo  scon  licr."  Then  closing  it 
upon  his  retreating  associate,  and  unfastening  the  other 
door,  he  was  in  a  minute  very  busily  employed  upon  some 
writings  on  a  table  before  him,  when  there  came  a  knock; 
and  as  soon  as  he  had  called  out  to  them  that  they  might 
have  admittance,  there  entered  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  with  a 
very  courtier-like  looking  gentleman,  most  daintily  attired. 

"  Now  1  take  this  as  exceeding  kind  of  you.  Sir  Walter,'* 
exclaimed  Cecil,  in  a  manner  marvellously  friendly,  as  he 
recognised  his  visiters.  "  And  my  worthy  brother-in-law, 
my  Lord  Cobham,  too !  I  know  not  which  to  be  thankful  for 
most — the  presence  of  yourself  or  your  friend.  I  pray  you 
be  seated." 

"  Indeed  I  have  but  called  to  acquaint  you  that  her  ma- 
jesty hath  signified  her  consent  to  my  expedition,"  observed 
Raleigh. 

"  Of  that  I  am  very  heartily  glad,  believe  me,"  said  Sir 
Robert,"  shaking  Sir  Walter  by  the  hand  v;ith  so  much 
earnestness  as  if  he  had  been  the  best  friend  he  had  in  the 
world,  "and  knowing,  as  I  do,  your  fitress  to  lead  to  a 
profitable  and  glorious  issue  all  such  armaments,  in  which, 
as  far  as  I  have  heard  of  the  best  judges,  is  no  man  living 
your  superior,  I  do  build  upon  it  great  hopes  of  your  ad- 
vancement in  the  queen's  favour ;  whereat  none  of  all  your 
friends  will  feel  more  infinite  delight  than  myself.  But  sit,  I 
pray  you,  and  let  us  drink  a  bottle  of  Ippocras  to  your  suc- 
cessful voyage." 

"  With  all  my  heart !"  exclaimed  the  Lord  Cobham, 
cheerfully,  as  he  flung  himself  carelessly  into  a  chair,  and 
did  put  aside  his  hat.  "  Such  a  proposition  must  be  welcome 
for  the  sake  of  mine  accomplished  friend — but  there  is 
another  consideration  that  claimeth  to  be  taken  into  account 
—my  throat  is  dry." 

"  A  good  consideration  truly,"  remarked  Cecil  with  a 
smile,  as  he  rang  a  silver  bell  that  lay  upon  the  table. 

"  Nay,  if  you  will  have  wine,  I  must  leave  you  two  to  the 
enjoyment  of  it — my  duties  permitting  me  not  to  assist  you 
in  what  would  otherwise  be  mightily  agreeable  to  me :  for  I 
must  hurry  to  attend  upon  her  majesty  to  the  playhouse." 

"  Now  sit  you  down,"  replied  Sir  Robert  with  great  de- 
monstration of  friendship,  preventing  Sir  Walter  from  leaving 
the  room,  "  it  wanteth,  to  my  certain  knowledge,  a  good 
half  liour  to  the  time  when  her  majesty  is  like  to  be  ready, 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  79 

SO  your  haste  nood  not  be  so  immediate — besides  I  take  it 
hiiffely  unkind  of  you,  seeing  that  while  I,  vviio  am  of  so 
notorious  a  gravity,  for  the  sake  of  one  to  whose  admirable 
qualities  I  stand  so  well  affected,  am  inclined  to  unbend  to  a 
becoming  sociality ;  you,  who  are  well  known  to  be  the  most 
absolute  prince  of  good  fellows,  on  the  poor  excuse  of  press 
of  time,  do  seek  to  play  the  churl  with  my  weli-disposed- 
ness." 

"  rfaith,  Raleigh,  there  must  surely  be  time  for  a  glass  or 
two  with  my  worthy  brother-in-law,"  said  his  friend,  and 
then  added  very  gravely,  "  and  there  is  a  very  good  reason 
why  I  think  so." 

"  Out  with  your  reason,  my  good  lord,"  exclaimed  Cecil, 
somewhat  urgently,  "  out  with  your  reason,  if  you  love  me, 
for  I  do  truly  hope  it  will  be  a  convincing  one." 

"My  throat,  is  dry,"  sagely  replied  the  Lord  Cobham. 

"  O'my  life  there  is  no  standing  against  so  grave  an  argu- 
ment," said  Sir  Walter,  laughingly  as  he  uncovered  and  did 
sit  himself  down,  "  so  1  must  e'en  be  indebted  to  your 
courtesy." 

At  this  instant  a  serving  man  entered,  to  whom  orders 
were  given  for  the  bringing  of  the  Tppocras  ;  and  Sir  Walter 
Raleigh  noticing  a  peculiar  suit  of  armour,  Sir  Robert  Cecil 
then  did  acquaint  him  how  his  father,  the  Lord  Burghley, 
took  great  delight  in  making  a  collection  of  offensive  and 
defensive  arms,  of  different  times  and  countries,  the  which 
he  had  that  room  built  on  purpose  to  receive,  in  preference 
to  keeping  them  at  his  magnificent  mansion  at  Theobald's, 
or  at  Burghley  House  ;  and  when  Sir  Walter,  being  very 
learned  in  these  things,  did  explain  to  him  the  age  and 
nature  of  some,  he  listened  with  exceeding  respect.  In 
truth,  although  Cecil  was  the  youngest  of  the  three,  he  was 
the  very  craftiest  man  in  all  her  majesty's  dominions.  His 
appearance  was  in  no  ways  prepossessing — being  short  of 
stature,  and  with  a  face  not  at  all  handsome,  shrewd  eyes, 
and  a  scanty  beard  ;  yet  by  falling  into  the  humours  of  the 
great — affecting  a  wonderful  sincerity,  and  seeming  of  a 
serious  turn,  he  had  advanced  himself  to  her  majesty's  con- 
fidence— nor  was  he  inclined  there  to  stop,  for  ambition  was 
his  ruling  passion  :  and  every  thing  he  schemed  about,  had 
for  its  object,  without  making  enemies,  to  get  as  much 
power  as  was  possible  into  his  hands.  All  this  time  my 
Lord  Cobham  was  arranging  his  hair,  and  trifling  with  his 


80  SHAKSPEARE 

beard  before  a  very  polished  coat  of  mail,  that  served  him 
as  a  mirror. 

The  wine  now  having  been  brought  in  and  poured  out  by 
the  serving  man  before  he  left  the  room,  into  three  tall  Ve- 
netian glasses,  Sir  Robert  Cecil  standing  up  with  his  glass 
in  his  hand,  said,  with  an  abundance  of  humility. 

"  It  ill  becometh  me,  who  am  so  little  skilled  in  speech,  to 
attempt  what  requireth  such  true  eloquence  as  the  praise  of 
one  who  hath  so  distinguished  himself  in  all  manner  of 
knightly  and  clerk-like  accomplishments,  as  hath  my  most 
worthy  and  esteemed  friend  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  ;  yet,  as  he 
knoweth  full  well  that  my  deficiency  proceedeth  not  from 
lack  of  love,  but  from  lack  of  wit,  he  will,  I  doubt  not,  out 
of  the  generosity  of  his  humour,  be  content  with  the  as- 
surance, that,  as  far  as  my  humble  judgment  goeth,  I  do 
consider  him  an  honour  to  this  our  age  and  an  example  to 
the  world,  of  an  able  commander  by  land  or  sea,  a  ripe  and 
perfect  scholar,  and  a  most  honourable  gentleman  ;  and 
knowing  that  he  is  about  to  command  an  important  expe- 
dition against  the  enemy,  he  will,  I  question  not,  also  allow 
me,  from  the  very  sincerity  of  my  love,  to  wish  him  all  that 
infinite  success  to  which  his  great  merits  do  entitle  him." 

"  In  every  word  of  this  I  gladly  concur,  and  drink  success 
to  him  with  all  my  heart,"  added  my  Lord  Cobham  ;  and 
both,  thereupon,  quickly  drank  off  their  glasses. 

"  Sir  Robert  Cecil," -replied  Sir  Walter  in  a  truly  dignified 
and  impressive  manner,  as  he  stood  up  to  the  table — "  It 
would  be  but  affectation  in  me  were  I  to  seem  indifferent  to 
applause ;  for,  however  it  may  be  taken,  I  must  acknowledge, 
that  I  love  praise — because  I  love  to  deserve  it :  and  if  I 
have  not  merited  it  to  the  extent  your  goodness  hath  be- 
stowed, believe  me  it  was  rather  from  want  of  ability  than 
inclination:  nevertheless  I  cannot  say  how  much  beholden 
to  you  I  am  for  your  good  opinion,  and  though  as  it  seemeth 
to  me,  the  success  I  may  have  cannot  come  up  with  your 
expectations,  to  prevent  as  much  as  lieth  in  my  power  your 
judgment  from  being  called  in  question,  I  will,  in  all  times  to 
come,  urge  my  poor  qualifications  to  the  utmost.  I  thank 
you  for  your  good  wishes — and  my  lord  also — and  in  return 
drink  to  your  prosperity." 

"  Well  said  !"  exclaimed  the  Lord  Cobham,  as  his  friend 
raised  the  wine  to  his  lips,  and  each  had  reseated  himself — 
"  the  speech  is  worthy  of  the  wine,  and  the  wine  deserveth 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  81 

the  speech — therefore  are  they  capitally  matched.  I  only 
wish  my  Lord  Essex  had  tasted  some  of  this  truly  delicious 
Ippocras  before  we  met  him  just  now  at  the  liver  side — 
methinks  he  would  have  looked  with  a  more  pleasant  coun- 
tenance." 

"  Saw  you  the  Lord  Essex  as  you  came  ?"  inquired  Sir 
Robert,  carelessly. 

"  We  met  somebody  very  like  him,"  replied  the  other, 
"  only  he  did  regard  us  with  an  aspect  so  Ethiopian,  I  had 
like  to  have  taken  him  for  a  blackamoor." 

"  Ah,  my  lord  is  doubtless  a  little  out  of  humour,"  ob- 
served Cecil,  significantly.  "  He  is  not  in  favour  with  the 
queen." 

"  O'  my  word,  one  would  have  thought  he  had  fallen  out 
with  his  own  shadow  for  looking  black  at  him,  and  resented 
it  by  looking  the  like  at  all  he  met,"  said  my  Lord  Cobham. 

"  Unfortunately,  my  good  lord,"  replied  the  wily  Cecil, 
"there  are  some  men  of  such  unhappy  dispositions,  that  they 
cannot  bear  to  see  superior  merit  taking  the  lead  of  them ; 
and  must  therefore  regard  the  object  with  a  sullen  and  un- 
friendly gloominess." 

"  By  this  hand  1  thought  so  !"  exclaimed  Cobham. 

*'  Not  that  I  would  wish  to  insinuate  aught  against  the  no- 
ble lord,"  continued  the  other,  "  for  he  is  doubtless  of  too 
honourable  a  nature  to  have  evil  intentions  against  those  of 
whose  rising  power  he  may  be  jealous  ;  though  I  have  heard 
it  said  that  he  beareth  no  good  will  to  cur  excellent  friend, 
but  of  the  truth  of  it  can  I  say  nothing.  Indeed,  in  justice  to 
him,  I  can  fairly  assert  that  he  halh  many  estimable  qualities, 
and  showelh  a  very  princely  liberality  ;  nevertheless,  truth 
compellclh  me  to  say — but  your  glasses  are  empty,"  said  hd, 
suddenly  breaking  off  his  discourse,  and  pouring  out  the 
wine. 

"  What  were  you  about  to  advance,  Sir  Robert  Cecil  ?" 
inquired  Raleigh,  very  earnestly.  "  As  far  as  1  have  had 
means  of  judging  of  the  Lord  Essex,  he  is  a  brave  and  ho- 
nourable gentleman,  but  if  he  haih  said  aught  or  done  aught 
against  me,  I  should  be  glad  to  know  of  it." 

"  I  pray  you,  excuse  me  there.  Sir  Walter,"  quickly  re- 
plied the  other.  "  Believe  me,  I  am  no  maker  of  mischief.  It 
would  grieve  me  much  to  see  two  such  notable  good  servants 
of  her  majesty  at  variance  ;  and  truly  your  high  spirits  are  apt 
enough  to  quarrel  without  being  set  on.     The  Earl  of  Essex 


82  8HAKSPEARE 

hath  a  bountiful  disposition  as  I  have  gaitl,  and  if  he  inclineth 
at  times  to  be  envious  of  another's  greater  merit  and  belter 
fortune,  there  be  not  one  of  us  wilbout  our  faults,  and  it  is  but 
Cliristian  charily  to  look  over  such.  How  like  you  the 
wine  ?" 

•'  'Tis  of  very  curious  flavour,"  responded  Raleigh,  yet, 
though  he  answered  to  the  purpose,  he  did  seem  as  if  he  was 
thinking  of  another  matter. 

"  In  truth,  'tis  excellent  good,"  said  the  Lord  Cobham, 
looking  at  it  through  the  delicate  glass  in  which  it  sparkled 
beautifully,  and  then  sipping  it  that  the  flavour  might  dwell 
upon  his  tongue,  *'  very  exquisite  stuff,  by  this  hand  !  I  know 
not  where  I  should  meet  with  a  better  wine — indeed,  with  Ip- 
pocras  of  such  admirable  quality  never  came  I  acquainted.  If 
it  be  not  demanding  too  much  of  your  courtesy,  I  pray  you 
tell  me  of  what  vintner  might  you  get  such  brave  liquor?" 

"  Of  mine  own  knowledge  know  I  not,  my  good  lord,"  an- 
swered Cecil,  "yet  will  1  make  it  my  business  to  inquire. 
Believe  me,  I  am  marvellously  well  pleased  it  hath  taken  your 
fancy,  as  it  showeth  its  excellence  ;  for,  for  a  singular  fine 
taste  in  wine,  of  all  men  living  commend  me  to  the  Lord  Cob- 
ham.     Let  me  replenish  your  glass." 

"  I  am  infinitely  bound  to  you,  but,  in  very  honesty,  Sir 
Robert,  I  am  but  an  indifferent  judge,"  said  my  lord  with 
some  humility,  yet  it  was  evident  he  was  well  pleased  with 
the  compliment. 

"  Your  modesty  maketh  you  undervalue  yourself,"  replied 
Sir  Robert,  "  I  have  heard  your  judgment  approved  of  beyond 
all  comparison." 

"  'Tis  indifferent,  'tis  indifferent,"  responded  the  other, 
carelessly. 

"  Nay,  but  I  have  stayed  too  long,"  exclaimed  Sir  Walter 
Raleigh,  jumping  up  of  a  sudden  from  a  sort  of  revery,  and 
making  preparations  to  depart. 

"  Not  a  whit,"  responded  Cecil,  "  there  is  ample  time  to 
get  to  Whiteliall,  before  the  queen  hath  need  of  your  attend- 
ance.    Another  glass,  I  pray  you." 

"  There,  then  1"  cried  Raleigh,  tossing  off  the  wine  as  his 
friend  was  making  ready,  "  and  now  we  must  tarry  no  longer. 
Come,  my  lord." 

"  Be  advised  of  me,  and  think  no  more  of  what  my  foolish 
tongue  hath  let  out  concerning  the  Lord  E^sex,"  said  the 
crafty  Cecil  in  an  under  tone,  with  a  face  of  much  concern,  as 


AND  ma  FRIENDS.  83 

he  walked  by  ilie  side  of  Sir  Waller  towards  the  gales,  the 
Lord  Cobliam  following  at  some  distance.  "  For  your  own 
sake,  I  would  not  have  you  quarrel.  He  hath  great  power  of 
friends,  and — not  that  I  think  so  ill  of  that  honourable  lord  as 
to  imagine  he  would  do  aught  dishonest  against  you — remem- 
ber he  is  the  late  Lord  Leicester's  kinsman,  like  enough,  may 
have  been  his  pupil — and,  as  it  may  be  known  to  you,  '  the 
gypsy'  did  practise  very  devilish  arts  against  those  whom  he 
misliked." 

"  If  I  mistake  him  not,  he  is  of  a  nobler  spirit  than  to  follow 
so  base  an  example,"  replied  Sir  Walter. 

"  So  think  L"  added  Cecil,  quickly,  "  yet  appearances  are 
oft  deceitful,  and  for  mine  own  part,  I  do  confess  to  you  I  put 
no  great  trust  in  him,  he  being  so  nearly  allied  to  one  who 
was  so  badly  disposed.  Pardon  my  zeal,  if  while  I  counsel 
you  to  keep  on  good  terms  with  him,  if  it  may  be  done  with- 
out injury  to  your  honour,  I  do  earnestly  advise  you  to  be  on 
your  guard." 

'•  I  take  your  caution  in  exceeding  good  part,"  responded 
Raleigh,  "  and  will  not  fail  to  bear  it  in  mind." 

*'  I  hope  you  will  be  worthily  entertained  of  the  players," 
said  Sir  Robert  Cecil,  as  a  few  minutes  afterwards  he  stood  at 
the  gates  with  his  tw^o  friends,  "  for  though  the  gravity  of  my 
disposition  inclineth  not  to  such  amusements,  I  am  well 
pleased   hat  others  should  enjoy  them." 

In  a  moment  after,  the  Lord  Cobham  and  Sir  Walter  Ra-^ 
leigh  were  making  all  haste  to  the  water  side,  and  the  wily 
Cecil,  with  his  mind  filled  with  ambitious  schemes  and  cun- 
ning plots,  returned  into  the  house. 


84  yilAKSl'EAllG 


CHAPTER  VI. 

O  kiss!  which  doth  those  ruddy  g"cms  impart, 

Or  gems,  or  fruits,  of  new  found  paradise  ; 
Brcatliing"  all  bliss,  and  swecfning"  to  the  heart; 

Teaching'  dumb  lips  a  nobler  exercise. 

O  kiss  !  which  souls,  ev'n  souls,  together  ties 
By  links  of  love,  and  only  nature's  art ; 

How  fain  would  I  paint  thee  to  all  men's  eyes; 

Or  of  thy  gifts,  at  least,  sluide  out  some  part. 

Sir  Paii.ip  Sidnev. 

My  lady  is  unkind  perdie, 

•'  Alack,  why  is  she  so  ?" 
She  loveth  another  better  than  mc, 

And  yet  she  will  say  no. 

Sir  Thomas  Wyatt. 

When  Master  Francis  was  left  alone  by  his  miserly  uncle 
ill  the  office,  as  hath  previously  been  described,  lie  presently 
began  lo  turn  over  the  papers  on  the  desk  like  one  in  search 
of  something;  and,  as  if  not  finding  what  he  sought,  exclaim- 
ing, "  Surely,  I  did  leave  it  here,"  he  the  more  carefully  re- 
commenced his  search  ;  but  evidently  with  no  better  success. 

"  It  is  gone  1"  cried  he  at  last,  with  a  countenance  in  which 
surprise  seemed  to  mingle  with  regret;  and  then,  in  much 
perplexity,  appeared  to  be  considering  the  cause  of  the  disap- 
pearance of  what  he  had  searched  for. 

"  Possibly  my  uncle  hath  taken  and  destroyed  il,  for  he 
liath  a  strange  disinclination  to  my  writing  vers.es,"  said  the 
youth — and  then  he  did  seem  to  think  again — but,  as  was  ap- 
parent, on  another  subject,  for  his  fair  brow  became  more 
troubled,  and  his  clear  and  most  intelligent  eyes  liad  an  uneasy 
and  suspicious  look. 

"If  she  doth  afl'ect  that  Ralph  Goshawk?"  he  exclaimed 
in  a  sort  of  doubting  yet  inquiring. tone,  as  if  he  knew  not  for 
certain,  yet  wanted  to  know  something  he  feared  would  not  be 
desirable  to  learn.  Then  having  passed  some  minutes  in  pro- 
found yet  anxious  relleciion,  he  suddenly  started  up,  saying, 
"  But  she  is  too  good  to  be  deceitful,"  he  seemed  at  once  to  dis- 
miss all  his  uncomfortable  thoughts,  and  set  himself  to  writing 
out  some  account,  with  a  very  cheerful  and  delighted  counte- 
nance. At  this  he  continued  diligently,  but  ever  and  anon 
exclaiming,  "  Oh,  excellent  Joanna !"  or,  with  a  like  cnthu- 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  85 

siasm,  **  Dear — sweet — exquisite  creature  !"  or,  with  a  counte- 
nance that  did  witness  for  his  sincerity,  "  Oh,  I  do  love  thee 
infinitely  !"  till  there  came  a  sudden  turn  in  his  humour,  and 
with  a  more  thougluful  look  he  put  down  his  pen,  and,  folding 
his  arms,  asked  of  himself  the  question — "  But  why  doth  she 
deny  me  the  caresses  she  hath  so  often  granted  ?"  after  which 
he  again  grew  uneasy  (judging  by  the  expression  of  his  fea- 
tures), and  it  did  seem  as  if  his  reflections  were  hurrying  him 
to  very  unsatisfactory  conclusions  ;  for  he  looked  not  at  all 
pleased. 

•'  That  Ralph  Goshawk  seemelh  villanously  familiar  with 
her,"  said  he  at  last,  in  rather  a  troubled  voice  ;  and  for  some 
minutes  his  cogitations  appeared  of  a  truly  unhappy  character  : 
but  the  anxiety  depicted  upon  his  youthful  features  gradually 
began  to  disappear,  a  smile  played  about  his  delicate  mouth, 
and  seizing  his  pen  again,  exclaiming  emphatically,  "  I'll  be 
sworn  she  doth  not  countenance  him  !"  he  cheerfully  resumed 
his  labour.  However,  he  had  not  been  long  so  employed,  be- 
fore he  started  up  in  exceeding  surprise  and  perturbation,  cry- 
ing out,  "  Here  is  a  sad  mistake  ! — alacl^,  what  have  1  written?" 
and  he  then  read  aloud  from  the  account  which  he  held  in  his 
hand — "  To  the  drawing  up  a  bond  for  the  payment  of  250 
caresses  of   good  and  lawful  money  of  our  sovereign   lady 

Queen  Joanna" "  Indeed,"  added  he,  taking  a   knife  to 

scratch  out  the  errors  he  had  made,  "  it  be  well  my  uncle 
saw  not  this,  or  he  would  be  wraih — and  with  good  cause." 
He  then  proceeded  to  make  the  necessary  erasures  very  care- 
fully, only  saying  with  great  emphasis,  as  if  wonderfully  puz- 
zled as  to  how  such  mistakes  had  happened,  '♦  what  could  I 
have  been  thinking  about  ?" 

He  had  but  just  done  this  when  he  was  conscious  of  some 
one  opening  the  door  that  led  into  the  street,  and  looking  round 
observed  a  very  old-looking  boy  in  a  leathern  jerkin  and 
woollen  cap,  such  as  were  worn  by  the  common  people,  ad- 
vancing into  the  office,  desperately  intent  upon  picking  a  bone. 
He  was  somewhat  short  of  stature,  with  a  fair  pair  of  bandy 
legs,  and  his  face — none  of  the  cleanest — was  fat  and  freckled, 
having  a  noticeable  huge  mouth,  then  upon  the  stretch — a  pug 
nose,  and  eyes  squinting  abominably.  Without  saying  a. 
word,  he  marched  towards  one  corner  of  the  room,  and  sat 
himself  down  (ui  the  floor,  picking  his  bone — the  which  em- 
ployment he  varied  by  giving  an  occasional  bite— which  made 

VOL.  I.  8 


80  SHAKSPEARE 

a  mark  that  placed  beyond  dispute  his  mouth's  capacity — in 
a  thick  hunk  of  bread  he  drew  from  under  his  jerkin. 

Master  Francis,  who  had  regarded  his  visiter  with  con- 
siderable curiosity  since  his  entrance,  at  last,  seeing  him  with 
the  utmost  effrontery  munching  away  without  seeming  to  care 
for  any  thing  else,  asked  him  his  business. 

**  Be  you  called  Master  Francis?"  inquired  the  boy,  with- 
out removing  his  eyes  from  the  bone. 

*'  That  is  my  name,  certainly,"  replied  the  youth. 

"Sureon't?"  asked  the  other,  taking  a  monstrous  piece  out 
of  the  hunk  of  bread. 

*'  Of  course  I  am,"  said  Master  Francis. 

*♦  Have  ye  any  witnesses  ?"  inquired  the  boy. 

•'  If  you  don't  choose  to  take  my  word  for  it,  you  must 
needs  let  it  alone,  and  go  about  your  business,"  observed  the 
youth  sharply,  though  too  much  amused  to  be  much  offended. 

"  Rather  pej)perish — do  to  play  Hotspur,"  remarked  his 
companion  in  an  under  tone,  as  he  renewed  his  attack  upon 
the  bone.  In  a  minute  afterwards  he  inquired,  somewhat 
authoritatively,  "  Who's  house  be  this  ?" 

"  It  is  my  uncle's,"  replied  Master  Francis. 

"  Prythee  tell  me  his  name,  if  he  hath  one." 

"  Gregory  Vellum." 

"His  calling]"  inquired  the  boy,  still  keeping  his  teeth 
employed. 

"  'Tis  that  of  a  scrivener.  But  get  you  gone  quickly,  or 
you  shall  repent  this  intrusion,  I  promise  you." 

"  Rather  desperate — do  to  play  Richard  the  Third,"  said 
the  boy. 

"  Who  are  you,  and  what  seek  you  here?"  inquired  Mas- 
ter Francis  impatiently — "  I  have  quite  enough  to  plague 
me  without  your  assistance." 

"  Rather  melancholy — do  to  play  Hamlet,"  said  the  other, 
stripping  the  bone  perfectly  clean,  and  making  the  bread 
disappear  rapidly. 

"  Nay,  if  you  do  not  satisfy  me  for  this  impertinence,  and 
speedily,  I  will  have  it  out  of  your  flesh,"  exclaimed  the 
youth  angrily. 

"  Rather  bloody-minded — do  to  play  Shylock,"  answered 
the  boy  in  the  same  quiet  tone  he  had  used  from  the  com- 
mencement. 

"  I'faith  but  this  is  unbearable !"  cried  Master  Francis,  as 
he  jumped  off  the  stool  with  a  thick  stick  in  his  hand  be- 


AJ^b  HIS  PRiENbS.  87 

longing  to  his  uncle  that  lay  upon  the  desk,  and  ran  to  his 
visiter  as  with  a  design  to  give  him  a  drubbing.  "  Now 
tell  me,  you  wortliless  varlet,  what  you  want  here,  or  your 
bones  ehall  ache  for  it,"  said  he,  holding  the  stick  threaten- 
ingly over  him. 

"  Why,  I  am  Gib,  the  call-boy,"  replied  the  boy,  finishing 
his  last  mouthful,  and  eyeing  the  uplifted  weapon  with 
some  small  astonishment,  "  I  hold  the  honourable  ofllce  of 
call-boy  to  the  Globe,  on  the  Bankside,  and  earn  me  the 
handsome  sum  of  a  whole  shilling  a  week — and  find  myself 
out  on't :  but  such  a  one  for  the  business,  the  players  are 
not  like  to  find  more  than  once  in  an  age,  I  take  it — and  of 
this  they  are  in  no  way  ignorant — for  Master  Burbage  hath 
said  that  my  '  calling'  did  credit  to  me,  and  I  did  credit  to 
my  calling — and,  as  I  remember  me.  Master  Green  said  he 
could  swear  I  was  born  with  a  caul,  I  was  so  apt  at  it.  In 
fact,  there  be  none  like  me.  It  was  but  the  other  day  1  paid 
a  visit  to  the  Rose  to  see  their  call-boy.  Such  a  miserable 
caitiff!  the  varlet's  got  no  mouth !  unless  an  insignificant  bit 
of  a  button-hole  in  his  face,  scarce  big  enough  to  admit  a 
peascod,  be  called  such — the  natural  consequence  of  which 
is,  that  he  hath  not  voice  enough  to  frighten  a  cricket.  Now 
have  I  something  like  a  mouth" — 

"  Something  like  half  a  dozen  made  into  one  !"  said  Master 
Francis,  seeing  that  the  boy  extended  his  jaws  to  a  compass 
beyond  conception. 

"  And  when  I  call,"  continued  he,  "  my  voice  may  be  heard 
on  t'other  side  of  the  river — by  those  who  hear  well  enough. 
If  it  be  your  desire,  I  will  favour  you  with  a  specimen  of  my 
talents." 

"  I  thank  you — but  1  would  much  rather  that  you  would 
favour  me  with  your  business,"  replied  the  youth,  who  was 
too  much  amused  to  put  his  recent  threats  into  execution. 

"  But  besides  being  call-boy,"  added  the  other,  unheeding 
what  had  just  been  said,  "  I  am  oft  times  required  to  act 
parts — very  important  parts  too,  I  promise  you." 

"  Indeed !"  cried  Master  Francis,  regarding  with  a  smile 
the  droll-looking  object  at  his  feet.  ♦'  In  what  part  could 
they  possibly  trust  you  upon  the  stage  V 

"  I  play  the  cock  in  Hamlet,"  replied  the  boy  very  gravely 
— at  which  his  companion  laughed  heartily — "  and  so  much 
to  the  very  life,  that  Master  Taylor  saith  he  shall  be  content 
to  pick  a  crovj  with  me  every  time  he  playeth  the  Prince  of 


88  SHAKSPEARE 

Denmark.  And  Master  Fletcher  saith  that  that  piece  can 
never  go  ofT  as  it  ought  to  do  unless  I  have  the  cock-ing  of 
it.  Besides  which  I  come  on  as  one  of  Falstaff's  regiment 
— make  a  very  excellent  courtier  in  the  back  ground — play- 
one  of  the  ghosts  in  Richard  the  Third's  dream — and  at  all 
times  make  one  of  the  army,  of  which  there  are  at  least 
some  score  of  us,  scene-shifters  included.  In  fact,  I  should 
think  myself  greatly  to  be  envied,  were  it  not  for  one  thing." 

"  Of  what  can  you  complain  T"  asked  Master  Francis. 

"  I  am  obliged  to  eat  my  meals  where  I  can,"  replied  the 
boy ;  "  sometimes  in  Juliet's  tomb — sometimes  in  Desdemo- 
na's  bed — sometimes  in  Richard  the  Third's  tent — one  day 
near  the  forum  at  Rome— another  close  upon  the  Tower  of 
London — nay,  even  this  very  day  have  I  been  forced  to 
munch  my  dinner  as  I  came  along,  because  I  was  sent  to 
you  in  a  hurry  with  a  letter  from  Master  Shakspeare." 

"  A  letter  from  Master  Shakspeare  to  me !"  cried  Master 
Francis  impatiently.    "  Why  gave  you  not  it  to  me  before?" 

"  Because  you  chose  not  to  ask  for  it,"  said  the  other  very 
quietly.  "  I  was  told  to  be  sure  and  give  it  to  the  right  per- 
son, so  I  thought  I'd  make  proper  inquiries." 

"  Well,  give  it  me — make  haste !  make  haste !"  exclaimed 
the  youth. 

"  It's  like  enough  to  be  about  offering  to  take  you  into 
the  company,"  observed  the  boy,  as  he  pulled  off  his  cap 
leisurely,  and  gave  the  letter  out  of  it,  making  a  notable 
mark  on  each  side  with  his  greasy  thumb  and  finger.  "  But 
my  advice  be — try  what  you  can  do  in  the  female  line. 
You  be  just  the  age  and  figure  for  it;  and  we  want  a  new 
woman  marvellously.  Our  Juliet's  obliged  to  shave  twice 
a  day,  and  our  Lady  Macbeth,  getting  to  be  a  man,  hath 
threatened  to  throv.''  'jp  her  t^ngagement  because  they  won't 
allow  her  to  let  her  beard  grow.  I  can  put  you  up  to  a 
good  deal  about  making  your  points  and  dying  gracefully, 
and  walking  in  woman's  fashion — for  I've  seen  it  done 
scores  of  times,  I  promise  you— so  don't  lose  heart  on  that 
account." 

As  Master  Francis  began  reading  the  note,  the  call-boy 
got  upon  his  legs,  shook  tlie  crumbs  from  his  jerkin,  and 
sidled  up  to  him. 

"  I  pray  you  tell  me  what  terms  offer  they?"  asked  he, 
trying  to  look  over  at  the  note,  which  he  could  not  very 
well  reach  to  do. 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  89 

"  No  terms  at  all,"  replied  the  other,  in  too  good  humour 
to  be  offended  at  the  freedom  his  companion  was  taking. 

"  Ah,  you  see  it  be  not  every  one  that  can  get  a  whole 
shilling  a  week  and  find  himself  out  on't,"  observed  the  boy 
with  an  air  of  much  importance.  "  But  talent  will  always 
get  its  price." 

"  I  am  glad  to  find  that  yours  is  so  well  appreciated," 
remarked  Master  Francis  laughingly.  "  However,  not  to 
baulk  your  inquisitiveness,  which  is  somewhat  of  the  great- 
est, I  must  confess,  this  note  is  only  to  make  an  appoint- 
ment at  the  playhouse  to  meet  Master  Shakspeare." 

"  Doubtless  you  will  then  be  engaged,"  said  the  call-boy. 
"  If  you  find  any  difficulty  in  getting  admittance — for  Will 
Peppercorn,  who  keeps  ilie  door,  is  not  so  social  to  strangers 
as  am  I — just  ask  you  for  Gib  tiie  call-boy,  though  some  do 
call  me  Slentor,  because,  as  I  heard,  he  was  a  famous  call-boy 
in  ancient  times  ;  and  say  you  are  a  friend  of  mine,  you  will 
find  your  entrances  and  your  exits  as  easy  as  throwing  at 
cocks  at  Shrovetide." 

"  I  thank  you,  Gib,"  replied  Master  Francis,  scarcely  able 
to  keep  a  serious  countenance,  for  the  look  of  the  boy  was  so 
comical,  with  IjIs  queer  eyes  and  enormous  mouth,  and  im- 
portant swagger,  that  he  had  a  great  ado  to  refrain  from  laugh- 
ing in  his  face. 

"  This  seemelh  a  snuggish  place — how  much  may  you  get 
a  week  here?"  inquired  the  boy  very  earnestly,  after  a  careful 
scrutiny  of  the  office. 

"  That  question  I  do  not  think  it  necessary  to  answer,"  re- 
sponded the  other  as  gravely  as  he  could. 

"  Well — those  that  have  gifts  should  make  the  best  use  of 
them,"  drily  observed  Gib.  "  But  don't  despair — who  knows 
but  ih^i  you  may  be  a  call-boy  some  of  these  days — only  I'm 
afraid  you  hav'nt  got  the  very  properesl  sort  of  mouth." 

"  Tliat  I  regret  not,  believe  me,"  responded  Master  Francis 
with  a  smile.  "  And  now  I  should  earnestly  advise  you  to 
make  the  best  of  your  way  back  to  Master  Shakspeare,  and 
tell  him  I  will  not  fail  of  the  appointment." 

"  Ha!"  replied  Gib,  turning  on  his  heel  and  slowly  proceed- 
ing to  the  door,  tossing  up  the  bone,  with  which  he  had  not 
yet  parted.  "Now,  remember  you  my  advice — do  the.  wo-- 
men,  and  you  cannot  fail  of  getting  on;  and  if  you  want  to 
know  how  to  look  modest  and  like  a  dainty  young  gentlewo- 
man, come  you  to  me,  I  can   instruct  you  in  all  that  sort  of 

8* 


90  SIIAKSPEARE 

thing,  for  I've  gnt  a  monstrous  denl  of  experience  that  woy. 
Indeed,  Master  Barbage  did  say  that  I  ??hould  get  advanced 
into  the  woman's  parts  when  I  was  old  enough,  and  methinks 
it  is  high  lime  I  should  attempt  something  of  the  kind.  It's 
a  genteel  part  of  the  profession,  according  to  my  thinking. 
Master  Condell  did  tell  me  he  thovight  I  could  play  Ophelia 
ravishingly." 

"  Indeed !"  exclaimed  his  companion,  unable  to  refrain 
from  lauphinjT  at  the  idea. 

•'  For  my  own  part,  being  of  an  exquisite  melancholy  hu- 
mour, I  doubt  not  I  should  shine  in  tragedy,"  continued  the 
call-boy,  taking  a  look  at  Master  Francis  so  solemnly  ludi- 
crous that  it  instantly  did  set  him  into  a  roar.  "  Rather 
humorous  !"  cried  the  boy  as  he  opened  tfie  door,  "  do  to 
play  tlie  fool:"  and  thereupon  his  mouth  did  spread  out  into 
a  grin  so  far  beyond  all  human  conceit,  that  the  other  laughed 
till  the  tears  ran  out  of  his  eyes.  "Well,"  continued  Gib, 
"  though  I  wish  you  a  bountiful  share  of  good  luck,  in  honest 
truth  I  say  it — expect  not  to  get  so  handsome  a  wage  as  a 
whole  shilling  a  week,  and  find  yourself  out  on't."  And 
thereat  he  strutted  out  of  the  door,  with  such  a  villanous 
squint  that  it  would  have  tickled  the  fancy  of  one  at  the  point 
of  death. 

IMaster  Francis,  much  amused  at  the  oddity  of  the  boy  and 
his  exceeding  assurance,  returned  to  his  seat  in  monstrous 
good  humour,  to  finish  his  account ;  but  he  liad  scarcely 
taken  pen  in  hand,  when,  on  hearing  a  noise,  he  turned  round, 
and  lo  !  there  was.  Gib's  bandy  legs,  again  marching  in. 

"  Slick  to  the  women,  I  pray  you,  and  you  shall  find  your 
advantage  in  it,"  exclaimed  he,  with  a  very  earnest  serious- 
ness, and  immediately  disappeared. 

•'  Away  with  you  !"  cried  Master  Francis,  scarcely  know- 
ing whether  lo  laugh  or  to  be  angry.  Then  he  applied  him- 
self to  his  task,  and  did  finish  it  without  further  interruption. 
Presently  his  uncle  was  heard  stumping  along  the  passage 
with  his  stick,  and  in  a  few  seconds  he  entered,  looking  very 
crabbed  and  savage. 

"  Hast  done  that  account?"  inquired  he  siiarply. 

*'  Yes,  uncle,"  replied  the  youth. 

"  Then  take  it  to  Master  Ephraim  Venture,  the  merchant 
in  Thames  Street,  nigh  unto  Castle  Baynard,"  said  the  old 
man  ;  '*  and  be  sure  to  press  for  payment — for  it  be  said  that 
he  hath  had  losses,  therefore  must  he  be  looked  after.  'Sblood, 


AND  ins  FRIENDS.  91 

an' he  do  not  pay  quickly  Til  make  him  smart  for't !     Tell 
liim  I  must  and  will  have  my  money." 

"I  will,  uncle,"   responded   the   nephew,  preparing  with 
evident  alacrity  to  start  on  his  errand. 

"  And  mind  that  thou  tarry  not,"  added  he,  *•  for  I  have  bu- 
siness for  thee  at  home." 

"1  will  use  all  convenient  speed,"  replied  Master  Franci.«, 
and  in  a  minute  after  he  was  making  the  best  of  his  way  out 
of  St.  Mary  Axe,  right  glad  to  get  from  the  house,  and  as  well 
pleased  that  the  merchant's  in  Thames  Street  lay  in  the  very 
direction  to  which  his  inclination  most  tended.  On  lie  pro- 
ceeded in  his  way,  taking  no  heed  of  the  sober  citizens  speed- 
ing on  their  business,  or  even  of  their  daughters,  proud  of  a 
new  kirtle  or  a  dainty  coif,  showing  off  their  pretty  coquetries 
to  the  gallants  that  came  strolling  along  in  their  best  braveries, 
mayhap  carelessly  humming  a  tune,  or  whispering  a  well-de- 
vised compliment  as  they  passed,  at  the  which  none  were  very 
hugely  offended  I  warrant  you,  for  their  brilliant  eyes  sparkled 
the  more;  and  some  smiled  with  exceeding  pleasantness,  and 
a  few  did  take  sly  peeps  over  their  shoulder  to  notice  if  they 
were  followed;  but  giving  himself  up  to  the  inconstant  hu- 
mour of  his  thoughts — now  hoping,  now  despairing — now 
filled  with  the  passion  of  love — now  moved  with  the  conceit 
of  jealousy,  he  regarded  nothing  around  him  till  he  entered 
into  Eastcheap.  Then  he  was  stirred  up  into  a  very  proper 
consciousness  of  where  lie  was — his  heart  began  to  beat  most 
dislurbedly — the  paleness  of  his  cheek  made  way  for  a  flush 
of  crimson,  and  his  eye  had  gained  a  lustrousness  that  gave 
imto  his  gentle  countenance  a  truly  eloquent  expression. 

Passing  by  shops  of  divers  kinds,  and  even  taking  no  heed 
of  the  barber  chirurgeon's  over  the  way,  where  his  true 
friend,  Harry  Daring,  was  apprenticed,  he  at  last  made  for  one 
that  was  a  mercer's,  where  the  owner,  a  somewhat  lusty  old 
man  with  a  lively  roguish  look,  and  an  excellent  jolly  face, 
stood  recommending  to  a  customer  sundry  ells  of  three-piled 
velvet  that  lay  before  him,  whom,  seeing  engaged,  he  stopped 
not  to  gossip  with,  but  went  on,  as  if  it  was  his  wont,  to  a 
little  room  at  the  back,  where  finding  no  one,  he  opened  a 
door,  and  proceeded  up  a  little  flight  of  stairs  close  upon  it, 
at  the  top  of  which  there  was  another  door,  whereat,  with  his 
heart  in  a  greater  flutter  than  ever,  he  did  knock  gently  with 
his  knuckles  ;  and  hearing  a  voice,  the  soft  tones  of  which  he 
recognised  with  a  most  infinite  delight,  he  uncovered  and  en- 
tered the  room. 


92  SHAKSPEARE 

The  chamber  was  rather  low,  and  of  a  no  great  size, 
having  a  wainscot  and  floor  of  oak,  with  rafters  very  solid, 
running  across  the  ceiling,  and  a  window  stretching  out 
into  the  street.  The  furniture  was  substantial  rather  than 
elegant — such  as  might  be  seen  in  the  houses  of  the  better 
sort  of  citizens — yet  was  there  a  considerable  show  of  taste 
in  many  things,  which  spoke  as  plain  as  could  any  words, 
that  a  woman's  graceful  hand  had  had  the  ordering  of  them. 
There  was  no  one  therein  but  Joanna,  who  sat,  or  rather  re- 
clined, in  an  ample  chair  with  arms,  supporting  her  head  by 
her  hand ;  she  wore  an  elegant  dress  of  watchet  colour, 
laced  down  the  front,  with  a  girdle  of  silver  baudekin,  at  the 
which  was  a  little  pocket  on  one  side.  Her  silken  hair  was 
artfully  disposed,  falling  in  a  love-lock  on  her  beautiful  shoul- 
der, and  bound  at  the  top  in  a  network  caul  of  gold.  Her 
well-shaped  feet,  were  cased  in  a  pair  of  dainty  white  stock- 
ings and  velvet  slippers,  projecting  out  of  her  petticoat, 
wiih  the  heel  of  one  resting  upon  the  instep  of  the  other,  to 
the  manifest  disclosure  of  a  most  exquisite  ankle.  In  this 
position,  the  well-defined  outline  of  the  ripened  beauties  of 
her  figure  were  seen  to  great  advantage,  especially  as  the 
low,  tight  boddice,  then  in  fashion,  did  excellently  well  dis- 
play the  full  bust,  and  truly  admirable  neck  and  shoulder, 
the  delicateness  whereof  I  have  not  the  cunning  to  describe, 
therefore  will  I  leave  it  to  the  imagination  of  the  courteous 
reader.  She  had  evidently  been  a  thinking ;  but  whether 
pleasurable  or  otherwise,  I  have  no  means  of  knowing,  ex- 
cept this  be  taken  as  a  sign,  that  when  Master  Francis  first 
beheld  her  at  that  time,  there  was  a  severity  in  the  loveliness 
of  her  countenance,  tempered  with  a  very  touching  melan- 
choly.. 

*»  Joanna !"  exclaimed  the  youth,  hastening  delightedly  to 
her  side,  "  I  am  here  at  thy  desire,  and  truly  to  mine  own 
most  infinite  gratification.  But  what  aileth  thee?"  he  in- 
quired suddenly,  in  a  tone  of  aflTectionate  interest,  as  he 
noticed  that  the  pleasurableness  expressed  in  his  own  fea- 
tures was  not  reflected  in  hers.  At  the  question,  she  looked 
at  him  as  with  a  careful  scrutiny  of  his  pale  and  thoughtful 
brow,  but  said  nevfer  a  word. 

"  Have  I  angered  thee  1"  he  asked,  in  a  more  subdued 
voice ;  and  his  gaze  became  as  melancholy  as  her  own. 
"  Believe  me,  I  meant  it  not  In  truth,  I  would  rather  die 
than  anger  thee." 


AND  HI3  FRIENDS.  93 

*♦  No  !"  replied  she  to  his  question,  with  impressive  tones 
and  eloquent  emphasis.  "  Thou  hast  not  angered  me."  And 
then,  the  severity  of  her  look  much  abating,  added,  with 
great  stress  on  the  words,  "  Thou  hast  never  angered  me.*' 

"  Indeed  I  hope  not,"  said  Master  Francis  earnestly.  "  But 
who  or  what  hath  made  thee  look  so  unhappy  "!" 

"  Thou  hast,"  she  answered. 

•*  I !"  exclaimed  the  youth  with  extreme  surprise  and 
sorrow.  "  What  a  wretch  am  I,  to  have  done  it !  and  yet  I 
know  not  how  it  could  be ;  for  gratitude  for  thy  never-tiring 
kindness,  doth  prompt  me  at  all  times  to  do  the  very  re- 
verse. Tell  me  how  it  was,  and  instantly  will  I  seek  to  un- 
do the  unsought-for  mischief." 

Joanna  silently  took  from  the  little  pocket  at  her  girdle  a 
paper  that  she  gave  into  his  hands — the  v/hich  he  instantly 
opened,  designing  to  read  it,  as  such  seemed  to  him  to  be  her 
wish ;  but  to  his  exceeding  astonishment  he  discovered  it  to 
be  the  very  poem  he  had  written,  and  lost  from  off  the  desk 
in  his  uncle's  office.  He  stood  like  one  that  is  detected  in 
wrong-doing,  unable  to  say  aught  for  himself;  yet,  though 
he  saw  that  his  expostulation  had  done  him  mischief,  knew 
he  not  what  offence  there  could  be  in  it. 

"  What  made  thee  think  I  had  ceased  to  love  thee?"  asked 
she,  in  a  voice  by  no  means  angry,  after  she  had  watched 
for  a  sufficient  time  his  downcast  eyes  and  modest  confu- 
sion of  countenance,  as  he  stood  before  her. 

"  It  seemed  to  me  that  thou  dost  regard  another,"  replied 
INIaster  Francis,  tremulously. 

"  Whom  V  inquired  Joanna,  with  more  earnestness,  fix- 
ing on  him  a  somewhat  anxious  and  penetrating  look. 

"Ralph  Goshavr'k,"  answeieJ  lie. 

She  remained  silent  for  some  few  seconds,  but  a  faint 
smile  might  have  been  observed  about  the  corners  of  her 
beautiful  mouth. 

*'  In  truth,  I  marvel  thou  couldst  have  entertained  such 
a  conception,"  said  she  at  last. 

"Dost  thou  not  love  him,  indeed  1"  asked  the  youth,  al- 
most incredulously,  as  it  were. 

"Indeed  I  love  him  not,"  she  replied. 

"  And  dost  regard  me  as  kindly  as  thou  Vert  used  1"  he 
inquired  more  urgently,  raising  his  eloquent  eyes  to  her 
own. 

"  Methinks  quite  as  kindly,"  answered  she. 


94  SilAksPEAUE 

"  Dear,  dear  Joanna !"  exclaimed  Master  Francis,  as  ha 
kneeled  on  one  knee,  and  taking  in  his  the  disengaf^ed  hand 
that  lay  upon  her  lap,  bowed  his  head  till  his  lips  rested 
thereon,  and  in  that  position  remained.  The  melancholy  ex- 
pression of  Joanna's  countenance  still  was  altered  not ;  but 
there  was  now  a  tender  interest  in  her  dark  eyes  as  she  gazed 
upon  her  youthful  lover.  Presently  she  raised  herself  in 
her  position,  and  took  his  hand  in  both  hers  very  affec- 
tionately. 

"  Yet  am  I  much  hurt  that  thou  shouldst  doubt  me,"  said 
she;  "I  thought  I  had  proved  beyond  question,  how  much  I 
regarded  thee  above  all  others — perhaps  with  more  careless- 
ness than  did  become  me.  But  knowing  the  innocency  of 
mine  intentions,  and  trusting  in  the  modesty  of  thy  disposi- 
tion, I  was  content.  Alack !  'tis  a  sad  world !  we  cannot 
do  right  when  we  wish ;  and  when  we  are  satisfied  of  our 
conduct,  there  cometh  some  malicious  tongue  to  slander  our 
doings.  None  know  the  wickedness  that  exists — that  poi- 
sons the  air  we  breathe  with  a  perpetual  pestilence,  and 
obliges  us  to  do  by  craft  what  we  cannot  do  by  honesty.  I 
have  to  endure  many  things  that  make  me  unhappy — very 
unhappy — I  needed  not  such  verses  as  thou  hast  written." 

As  she  concluded  the  sentence,. he  raised  his  head,  and  saw 
that  she  was  wiping  with  her  handkerchief  a  tear  that  did 
tremble  on  her  eyelid. 

"Indeed,  they  shall  trouble  thee  no  more,"  cried  the  youth, 
as  he  disengaged  his  hand,  and  tore  the  paper  into  number- 
less small  fragments  ;  *'  and  very  heartily  am  I  vexed  that  I 
should  have  given  thee  a  moment's  uneasiness.  For  what 
wonderful  goodness  hast  thou  exhibited  towards  me  ; — the 
like  of  which  surely  was  never  known  !  Truly  I  must  have 
behaved  most  unnaturally  to  have  vexed  thee  in  this  manner; 
and  I'll  never  forgive  myself,  if  thou  wilt  not  forgive  me." 
And  then,  most  sorrowful  in  heart,  he  hid  his  face  upon  her 
lap. 

"  I  have  forgiven  thee,"  said  she,  affectionately  twining  her 
fingers  in  the  light  curls  of  his  chestnut  hair  ;  "  but  take  not 
such  fancies  into  thy  head  again  ;  be  content  with  the  assur- 
ances thou  art  continually  receiving  of  how  much  I  regard 
thee,  and  tiiiiik  nothing  of  whatevef  else  may  seem  of  a  dif- 
ferent tendency.  Nothing  can  be  so  sure  as  that,  whilst  thou 
art  wortliy,  tliou  wilt  be  beloved."  Master  Francis  was  too 
much  enraptured  to  reply  ;  and  in  this  position  they  remained 


AND    HIS    FRftNDS.  95 

for  some  minutes — she  bending  over  him,  with  her  dark  hazel 
eyes  softened  into  tenderness  ;  and  he  impressed  so  deeply 
with  the  subduing  spirit  of  the  moment,  tliat  he  would  not,  or 
cared  not  to  move  from  where  lie  was, 

Joanna  having  at  last  taken  away  her  hands  to  enclasp  his, 
he  raised  his  head,  and  looking  into  her  face,  very  fondly,  yet 
with  a  touch  of  regret,  said, — "  But  why  hast  thou  denied  me 
those  most  sweet  caresses  thou  didst  use  to  grant?" 

•*  Truly  I  am  not  in  the  mood  on  all  occasions,"  replied 
she,  in  rather  a  sad  tone  of  voice  ;  "  there  are  remembrances 
I  cannot  obliterate  when  I  would,  that  come  upon  me  at  times, 
and  make  me  regardless  of  all  except  the  discomfort  they . 
bring.  It  would  be  but  a  mockery  to  caress  thee  under  such 
circumstances;  and  indeed,  though  I  may  often  seem  gay- 
hearted — forgetting  for  a  time  the  unpleasantness  of  the  past, 
in  the  enjoyments  of  the  present;- — yet,  when  awakened  to 
recollection — which  is  no  difficult  matter, — there  lives  not  a 
creature  on  this  earth  so  truly  wretched  as  am  I.  Be  content 
then  with  the  pleasure  I  can  grant  when  I  may  be  in  the  hu- 
mour, and  seek  not,  when  the  time  is  not  auspicious,  to  in- 
crease my  disquietude  by  ill-timed  importunity." 

"  I  will  not,"  replied  he  ;  "  but  wilt  thou  do  so  ever  again  ?" 
he  asked,  as  if  almost  afraid  to  put  the  question. 

*'I  will,"  she  answered,  with  apparent  unaffectedness. 

"  Dear  Joanna,  but  wilt  thou  do  so  soon  .^"  he  inquired, 
more  impressively. 

"I  will,"  said  she. 

"  Exquisite  Joanna  !  but  wilt  thou  do  so  now  .^'*  he  asked, 
with  still  greater  emphasis. 

It  would  be  unveiling  the  sweet  mysteries  of  affection,  to 
describe  the  endearments  that  blessed  the  reconciliation  of 
these  devoted  lovers.  There  throbbeth  not  a  heart  in  the 
wide  world,  that  hath  been  touched  by  the  generous  influence 
of  triie  love,  but  hath  played  its  part  in  the  same  drama,  and 
can,  from  the  fond  prompting  of  the  memory,  imagine  the  en- 
trancing scene  more  vividly  than  could  I  describe  the  acting  of 
it.  Methinks,  too,  that  the  developcment  of  those  delicious 
influences  that  make  humanity  angelic,  should  be  kept  sacred 
from  the  vulgar  eye  ;  else  might  the  selfish  and  the  profligate 
find  matter  in  it  for  idle  speculation,  or  licentious  conjecture. 
Pity  it  is  that  there  should  be  any  in  whom  the  better  part  of 
their  natures  hath  vanished,  like  the  sap  of  a  decaying  tree, 
and  vanity  making  them  believe  all  to  be  like  unto  themselves. 


96  SI^KSPEARE 

in  the  green  freshness  of  fairer  plants,  they  cnn  see  naught 
but  their  own  hollowness  and  worthlessness.  I  know  that, 
by  the  generous  and  true-hearted,  what  I  should  relate  would 
be  rightly  interpreted  ;  but  no  writer  is  so  fortunate  as  to  meet 
with  all  readers  of  such  a  sort. 

The  affection  which  existed  betwixt  Joanna  and  Master 
Francis,  had  in  it  this  peculiar  feature,  that  the  former  had  so 
much  the  seniority  of  her  lover,  it  invested  her  with  an  evi- 
dent controlling  power  over  him.  She  appeared  as  though 
uniting  in  her  behaviour  the  authority  of  a  careful  guardian 
with  the  fondness  of  a  devoted  woman,  and  sometimes  it  ap- 
peared as  if  some  strange  interest  bound  her  to  the  youth,  of 
so  deep  a  tenderness,  as  was  marvellously  like  unto  that  of  a 
parent.  In  truth,  il  was  a  strange  thing  lo  behold  a  creature 
so  exquisitely  fashioned,  having  much  ihe  outward  appear- 
ance of  one  existing  only  for,  and  in  the  enjoyment  of  the 
most  passionate  worship  of  the  opposite  sex,  seeming,  with  a 
delicacy  the  purest  nature  could  never  have  excelled,  so  virtu- 
ously to  conduct  herself,  as  proved  all  the  sterling  excellence 
of  womanhood  was  manifest  in  her  actions  ;  whilst  the  ena- 
moured youth  that  knelt  before  her,  dumb  with  excess  of 
modesty,  and  overpowered  with  the  intensity  of  his  admi- 
ration, regarded  her  with  such  an  enthusiasm  in  his  delighted 
gaze,  tempered  with  so  profound  a  respect,  as  plainly  showed 
he  loved  with  the  purity  of  heart,  and  earnestness  of  purpose, 
which  belong  only  to  that  age  and  disposition  that  exist  in  the 
enjoyment  of  a  perfect  innocency. 

"  Dear  heart,"  exclaimed  he,  after  a  long  yet  very  eloquent 
silence,  "it  seemeth  to  me  exceeding  strange  that  when  I  sit 
me  down  to  write  of  thee,  all  admirable  thoughts,  like  the  bees 
hastening  to  the  sweet  blossoms,  come  crowding  to  be  penned  ; 
but  when  with  my  lips  I  would  essay  to  breathe  into  thine  ear 
aught  of  what  rare  pleasure  I  experience  from  the  continual 
influence  of  thy  unbounded  goodness,  such  words  as  I  have 
at  command  are  so  little  to  the  purpose,  that  I  am  forced  to  a 
seeming  ungrateful  silence  ;  yet  am  I  most  gratefully  bound 
to  thee.  Thou  art  my  guardian  angel,  and  in  earnest  truth, 
most  exquisite  Joanna,  my  heart  ever  yearneth  to  pour  out  its 
spirit  in  thanksgiving  for  thy  unceasing  kindness." 

He  received  no  reply,  unless  it  was  conveyed  in  a  more 
evident  pressure  of  the  hands  she  held  clasped  in  her  own,  or 
in  a  softer  and  more  thrilling  glance  from  the  clear  hazel  of 
her  lustrous  eyes,     lie  continued-— 


AND  Ills  FRIENDS.  97 

•«  My  benefactress !  my" — 

•♦  Hush  !"  she  exclaimed,  quickly,  interrupting  him.  "  Have 
I  not  told  thee  never  to  allude  to  what  I  have  done  for  thy 
good  ]" 

He  remained  silent,  as  if  conscious  he  had  committed  an 
error. 

"  And  now,  prythee,  tell  me  how  hast  thou  sped  with  thy 
tragedy  ]"  she  inquired. 

*'  It  will  not  do,  dear  Joanna,"  he  replied. 

"  Despair  not — thou  wilt  do  belter  anon,"  she  said,  in  an 
encouraging  tone. 

"  But  methinks  I  have  found  a  friend,"  added  Master 
Francis,  more  cheerfully. 

"  I  am  truly  glad  on't,"  said  she. 

"  Hast  heard  of  Master  Shakspeare — whose  plays  so  won- 
derfully do  delight  the  town  ]"  inquired  the  youth. 

"  Indeed  have  I,"  she  replied.  "  My  father  hath  often 
promised  to  take  me  to  see  the  players  do  a  play  of  his,  but 
he  liketh  the  sports  of  the  Bear  Garden  best,  therefore  I  have 
not  been." 

"  I  should  like  to  take  thee,  mightily,"  observed  he.  "  For 
it  is  most  delectable  entertainment.  But  I  must  tell  thee — 
Master  Shakspeare,  to  whom  I  was  directed  to  send  my  tra- 
gedy, though  he  did  tell  me  very  candidly  of  its  faults,  ex- 
pressed himself  right  glad  to  do  me  a  service  ;  and  as  earn- 
est of  his  sincerity,  he  hath  but  now  sent  for  me  to  the 
playhouse." 

"  Speed  thee,  then,  Francis,"  she  exclaimed,  rising  from 
her  seat  and  raising  him  from  the  ground.  "  It  be  not  right 
of  thee  to  lose  the  precious  time  when  such  a  friend  desireth 
to  serve  thee.  But  here,"  she  added,  as  she  took  from 
around  her  neck  the  very  gold  chain  she  did  receive  of  old 
Gregory  Vellum,  and  threw  it  over  her  youthful  lover. 
"  Wear  that  for  my  sake— but  let  not  thine  imcle  see  it,  or 
mayhap  he  may  think  thou  hadst  it  not  honestly,  and  ques- 
tion thee  churlishly  upon  it ;  and  I  do  not  wish  thee  to  say 
I  gav^e  it  thee,  nor  do  desire  that  thou  shouldst  say  what  is 
not  true.  And  let  me  again  request  of  thee  in  true  kind- 
ness, that  when  thou  wantest  aught  that  his  miserly  nature 
doth  refuse;  ask  it  of  me,  and  thou  shalt  have  it  straight." 

"  Nay,  dear  Joanna,"  he  replied,  looking  somewhat  dis- 
tressed. "  Thou  hast  lavished  upon  me  so  many  gifts  al- 
ready, that  I  urn  ashamed  to  accept  of  this,  or  to  ask  of  thee 

VOL.  I.  U 


98  SIIAKSPEAIIE 

any  thing;  and,  If  thou  wilt  not  be  ofTended,  I  would  sooner 
that  thou  shouldst  continue  to  wear  it.  In  truth,  it  is  too 
good  a  thing  for  me  to  have." 

"  That  it  cannot  be,"  answered  she,  regarding  him  with  a 
more  perceptible  fondness.  "  I  -woald  have  thee  wear  it 
beneath  thy  doublet,  and  affix  it  to  the  miniature  of  thy 
mother.  Now,  no  excuses  !  I  will  not  hear  of  them.  And 
be  sure  let  me  know  when  thou  dost  lack  any  thing." 

"  Oh,  thou  art  too  kind  !"  exclaimed  the  youth,  with  all 
the  expression  that  love  and  gratitude  could  give. 

"  Now  haste  thee  to  Master  Shakspeare,"  said  Joanna. 

"  Dare  I  ask  of  thee  once  again,  to  let  me  taste  of  those 
honey-sweet  delights  thou  didst  bestow  on  me  a  brief  while 
since  1"  inquired  he,  looking  into  her  eyes,  as  if  his  own 
were  drawn  thereunto  by  some  marvellous  magic.  How 
she  answered,  methinks  it  be  scarcely  necessary  to  state, 
when  it  cometh  to  be  known,  that  in  the  next  moment  Mas- 
ter Francis  was  speeding  on  his  uncle's  errand  with  a  heart 
as  light  as  if  he  had  not  a  cafe  in  the  world. 

Having  delivered  the  account — more  courteously  than  his 
miserly  kinsman  designed,  he  posted  off  to  the  playhouse  on 
the  Bankside,  sometimes  imagining  what  Master  Shakspeare 
did  want  with  him,  and  thereupon  building  many  monstrous 
fine  castles  in  the  air,  and  then  turning  his  thoughts  to  the 
contemplation  of  the  exquisite  excellences  of  Joanna,  and 
feeding  his  mind  with  dreams  of  happiness  she  was  to  realise 
at  some  not  far  distant  day.  In  this  mood  he  arrived  at  the 
playhouse,  which  he  recognised  by  the  flag  flying  at  the  top. 
It  was  thronged  with  people — some  waiting  to  see  the  queen, 
and  others  the  play ;  round  about  were  boys  and  serving 
men  holding  horses,  and  here  and  there  might  be  seen  cos- 
tardmongers  and  others  bawling  out  fruit.  Making  for  a 
little  door  at  which  there  was  no  crowd,  he  was  entering 
thereat,  when  he  was  stopped  by  a  surly-looking  fellow,  with 
a  wooden  leg  and  a  red  nose. 

"  Well,  how  now  !  what  dost  want  1"  he  cried,  in  a  gruff 
voice. 

"  I  am  come  to  see  Master  Shakspeare,"  replied  the  youth. 

"  Won't  do,"  said  the  other,  sharply,  as  he  took  up  a  po- 
sition before  him,  as  if  to  stop  his  proceeding  further,  and 
then  scrutinised  his  appearance  very  closely.  "  The  players 
be  all  a  dressing,  and  can't  be  disturbed  for  every  jacka- 
napes that  wants  to  see  the  play  for  nothing." 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  99 

"  But  I  have  business  with  liim,"  added  Master  Francis. 

"  Won't  do,"  repeated  the  fellow,  stumping  closer  to  him, 
and  looking  more  forbiddingly.  "  Dost  thou  not  know  that 
this  be  no  hour  for  him  to  see  runaway  apprentices  who 
seek  to  be  players  1     So  get  thee  gone." 

"  But  he  hath  sent  for  me,  and  I  7nust  see  him,"  said  the 
youth,  more  determinedly. 

"  Won't  do,  I  tell  thee  !"  shouted  the  man.  "  Nay,  if 
thou  dost  not  take  thyself  ofif,  I'll  set  the  dog  on  thee.  Here, 
Pincher  !  Pincher !  Pincher  !"  And  immediately  a  savage- 
looking,  wiry-haired  terrier  came  from  under  a  chair,  bark- 
ing and  snaping  at  his  heels.  Master  Francis,  seeing  that 
there  was  no  remedy,  was  just  about  to  turn  back  with  a 
heavy  heart,  when,  who  should  come  into  the  place  but  the 
same  wide-mouthed,  squinting-eyed  boy  that  had  brought 
him  the  letter,  bearing  a  tankard  in  his  hand,  as  if  he  had 
come  from  a  neighbouring  tavern.  Gib  seemed  to  under- 
stand the  state  of  the  case  immediately. 

"  How  now,  Will  Peppercorn !"  he  cried,  in  a  voice  that 
showed  that  the  name  of  Stentor  was  not  ill-applied.  "  This 
good  youth  is  he  whom  I  told  thee  Master  Shakspeare  did 
so  much  desire  to  see." 

"  How  should  I  know  that  3"  said  the  fellow,  sulkily  ;  then 
drawing  off  his  dog,  returned  to  his  chair. 

"  Follow  me,  and  I  will  show  you  the  way  with  a  very 
absolute  good  will,"  added  the  call-boy  ;  but  before  Master 
Francis  had  got  but  a  few  yards  he  turned  round  and  in- 
quired, "  Why  said  you  not  you  were  my  friend  ?  He  would 
not  have  dared  serve  thee  so.  But  we  must  needs  learn 
ere  we  get  knowledge — so  come  on,  and  carefully."  Master 
Francis  found  himself  in  a  very  dark  place  in  which  he  could 
see  neither  to  the  right,  nor  to  the  left,  nor  yet  straight  on ; 
and  was  directed  solely  by  the  voice  of  his  companion,  which 
ceased  not  a  moment. 

"  Stick  to  the  women,  I  pray  you,"  he  continued,  "  and 
you  must  needs  be  made  a  man  of  soon  :  but  mind  the 
thunder  there  !" 

At  this  injunction  the  youth  was  sadly  puzzled, 

"  If  you  have  not  the  proper  modesty,  I  will  soon  put  you 
in  the  way  of  getting  it — as  I  have  said  ;  therefore  hesitate 
not ;  for  such  another  opportunity  is  not  like  to  happen. 
Here,  mind  you  your  footing,  or  you  cannot  help  falling 
U])on  the  rain." 


100  SIIAKSPEARE 

Master  Francis  looked  about,  cxpoctinsr  to  find  a  pool  of 
water  near  him  :  but  nothing  of  the  kind  did  he  see. 

"  Now  turn  you  sharp  round  the  walls  of  Athens,  and 
keep  you  on  the  left  of  Prospero's  cell,"  said  the  other. 

Unable  quite  to  comprehend  his  meaninof,  the  youth  made 
a  turn  as  he  was  desired,  found  his  feet  caught — laid  hold  of 
he  knew  not  what,  that  his  elbow  struck  against,  this  gave 
way,  and  down  he  came  on  his  face  upon  something  that 
seemed  like  a  heap  of  canvass — bringing  over  him  a  pile  of 
the  same  kind. 

"  Tliere  now  !"  exclaimed  the  call-boy,  in  a  tone  of  appa- 
rent vexation.  "  You  have  tumbled  smack  upon  the  sea, 
and  brought  down  upon  you  the  palace  of  Antioch."  Fright- 
ful as  this  announcement  might  seem,  it  did  not  mean  any 
great  mischief  after  all. 

Master  Francis  soon  extricated  himself  from  the  fallen 
scenery,  and  without  any  more  mishaps  was  conducted  by 
his  guide  to  the  chamber  in  which  Master  Shakspeare  was 
waiting  for  him. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

Man's  life's  a  tragedy ;  his  mother's  womb 
From  which  lie  enters  is  his  tiring  room; 
This  spacious  earth  the  theatre,  and  the  stage 
That  country  which  he  lives  in ;  Passions,  Rage, 
Folly,  and  Vice  are  actors  :  the  first  cry 
The  prologue  to  th'  ensuing  tragedy. 
The  former  act  consisteth  in  dumb  shows  ; 
The  second,  he  to  moi-e  perfection  grows ; 
1'  the  third  he  is  a  man,  and  doth  begin 
To  mature  vice,  and  act  the  deeds  of  sin  ; 
1'  the  fourth  declines  :  i'  the  fifth  diseases  clog 
And  trouble  him:  tiien  Death's  his  epilogue. 

Sia  Walter  Raliigh. 

All  the  players  were  assembled  in  a  large  room  of  rather 
mean  appearance,  having  little  furniture,  save  settles,  some 
few  chairs,  an  old  table,  on  which  lay  sundry  tankards  and 
drinking  vessels,  and  a  long  mirror  hung  up  against  the 
wainscot.  The  players  were  dressed  in  character  for  the 
play  of  Henry  the  Fourth,  the  second  part;  and  divers 
young  noblemen  and  gentlemen  were  amongst  them.    Some 


AND  TIIS  FKIENDS.  101 

\STrc  sitting — some  standing  in  groups,  and  others  walking 
lip  and  down  ;  going  out  and  coming  in  at  intervals  ;  whilst 
a  voice,  evidently  from  its  loudness,  belonging  to  the  "  Stcn- 
tor"  of  the  company,  kept  bawling  from  without  as  the  play 
proceeded — "  Falstaff,  on  !"  or  "  Shallow  and  Silence,  on  !" 
or,  "the  Prince,  on!"  and  tlien,  others  knowing  that  their 
turn  would  be  next,  got  themselves  ready  to  appear  upon 
the  stage.  A  merrier  set  there  seemed  not  in  all  her  ma- 
jesty's dominions.  It  was  evident  that  care  had  naught  to 
do  with  such  choice  spirits — for  the  quick  jest,  and  the 
harmless  jibe  went  round,  and  the  loud  laughter  followed 
with  them  all — nor  did  there  seem  to  be  any  distinction  of 
rank  amongst  them  and  their  associates  ;  or  if  such  might 
be,  it  was  without  doubt  in  favour  of  the  players,  for  they 
appeared  wonderfully  independent  and  careless  of  what 
they  said. 

Master  Shakspeare  stood  in  one  corner  of  the  room  point- 
ing out  to  Master  Francis  the  different  persons  around 
them;  and  occasionally  returning  {he  friendly  salutation  of 
the  young  gallants  who  canie  thronging  in,  and  looked  as  if 
they  were  mightily  well  pleased  to  have  speech  of  him :  but 
none  could  have  received  more  satisfaction  than  did  the 
modest  youth  at  his  side,  for  to  him  it  was  quite  a  new 
world.  He,  who  had  seen  nothing  of  society  save  the  cus- 
tomers and  associates  of  the  scrivener  ;  now  found  himself 
amongst  the  most  famous  authors  and  players  of  the  time  ; 
with  a  fair  sprinkling  of  noble  lords,  distinguished  knights, 
and  honourable  gentlemen.  He  listened  with  exceeding 
attention  to  every  word  that  was  uttered  by  his  gifted  com- 
panion, and  regarded  each  individual  that  his  attention  was 
drawn  unto,  with  an  interest  scarcely  possible  to  be  con- 
ceived. 

"  See  you  that  most  worshipful-looking  personage  talking 
to  Taylor  and  Condell  1"  inquired  Master  Shakspeare  of  his 
visiter,  pointing  out  a  very  smartly-dressed  gallant,  evident- 
ly much  older  than  he  wished  to  appear.  "  He  that  weareth 
so  fine  a  satin  cloak,  and  hath  such  gay  rosettes  in  his 
shoes."  Master  Francis  easily  perceived  who  was  meant. 
"  That  is  Sir  Narcissus  Wrinkles.  He  hath  as  many  lines 
in  his  face  as  you  may  find  in  a  chart  of  the  new  world, 
wherewith  Time  hath  written  the  sum  total  of  his  age,  yet 
doth  he  imagine  that  he  can  find  a  way  to  disprove  his 
arithmetic;  and  with  a  periwig  of  the  newest  fashion,  and  a 

9* 


102  SHAKSPEARE 

beard  dyed  to  match — a  very  fustian  voice  prodigal  in 
strange  oaths — a  leering  look — a  swaggering  gait — and  an 
infinite  affectation  of  the  air  and  apparelling  of  our  youngest 
gallants,  he  soeketh  to  be  thought  as  youthful  as  Ganymede, 
and  as  full  of  tricks  as  a  kitten.  See,  now  !  he  is  telling  his 
auditors  some  notable  lie  of  the  feats  he  did  last  week  with 
the  bottle,  or  the  wonders  performed  yesterday  eve  at  the 
Bordello;  mayhap  he  digresses  into  some  famous  adventure 
with  the  constable  of  the  watch,  and  then  pathetically 
laments  him,  that  his  young  blood  should  lead  him  into  such 
scrapes.  Hear  how  loudly  he  laughs  at  his  own  follies; 
and  see  with  what  a  hearty  smack  of  the  shoulder  he 
saluteth  his  next  neighbour !  But  they  who  hear  him  know 
their  man  ;  and  laugh  not  with  him,  but  at  him." 

Master  Shakspeare  ihen  directed  his  atlenlion  to  another 
group. 

"  See  you  that  sagacious-looking  youth,"  said  he,  "  that 
hath  got  Will  Kemp  in  serious  discoursf.  close  unto  where 
Anthony  Wadeson,  Thomas  Pope,  and  Nicholas  Towley  are 
in  such  furious  discussion  ?  Notice  the  very  gravity  of  his 
features — the  demure  combing  of  his  hair — the  antique  cut  of 
his  beard.  See  how  soberly  he  is  clad — mark  how  stiflly  he 
bears  himself.  He  speaks  slowly — as  if  he  weighed  every 
word  that  fell  from  his  lips — and  seemeth  quite  shocked  at  the 
boisterousness  of  manner  of  the  group  of  gay  young  lords  at 
his  right.  He  goelh  among  us  by  the  name  of  Young  Anti- 
quity— yet  is  he  called  by  his  proper  name,  Lord  Wiseacre. 
I  warrant  you,  he  is  entertaining  my  friend  Will  with  a  right 
woful  lamentation  upon  the  degeneracy  of  the  age ;  and 
leaving  him  with  a  shake  of  the  head  worthy  of  a  second 
Nestor,  is  now  making  the  profound  remark,  '  Alack  !  boys 
will  be  boys  !'  " 

Master  Francis  could  not  help  a  smile,  for  the  manner  in 
which  his  companion  spoke  tlie  last  words,  was  marked  with 
such  an  exceeding  drollery,  that  to  look  grave  the  while,  was 
out  of  the  question. 

"A  little  way  to  the  left  of  him,  notice  that  neatly  di'essed 
old  gallant,  talking  with  so  mysterious  an  air  to  a  handsome 
young  nobleman,"  continued  Master  Shakspeare.  "  The  one 
is  my  Lord  Howard  of  Walden,  who  sweareth  every  man  of 
his  acquaintance  to  strict  confidence,  and  then  letteth  out  the 
famous  secret  to  all  whom  he  can  get  to  listen,  of  some  fair 
dame  being  in  love  with  him.     He  will  dilate  upon  every  look 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  103 

ha  lias  received  from  her,  and  emimorate  what  wonderful  signs 
she  halli  given  liim  of  her  regard  ;  and  ihen  he  will  assert  iiis 
exceeding;  virtuousness,  and  llie  fear  lie  is  in  that  this  afieclion 
of  another  woman  for  him  should  be  noticed  by  my  Lady 
Howard,  whom  he  believed  to  be  a  very  miracle  of  chastity — 
though  there  be  others  that  have  a  dilTerent  opinion  ;  and  will 
conjure  his  listener  to  be  as  secret  as  the  grave,  and  straight- 
way go  and  tell  as  many  as  he  can  the  same  story,  the  which, 
as  may  well  be  believed,  hatii  no  existence  save  in  his  own 
imagination,  and  thorough  vanity.  The  person  he  hath  hold 
of  is  my  Lord  Pembroke,  as  worthy,  admirable,  and  generous 
a  man  as  breathes  ;  and  desirelh  to  be  my  excellent  patron  and 
friend. 

"  Now,  behold  you  those  two  young  lords  that  have  got  Hart 
by  the  ear,  up  in  the  corner?"  continued  he;  "they  are  my 
Lords  Simple  and  Dimple  ;  they  affect  to  be  the  Castor  and 
Pollux  of  these  our  times,  and  are  never  seen  apart.  At 
no  time  have  they  been  heard  to  differ  on  any  one  subject ; 
they  dress  alike  on  all  occasions — ay,  to  such  a  nearness,  that 
if  my  Lord  Simple  have  thirty  points  to  his  hose,  of  a  surely 
hath  my  Lord  Dimple  exactly  the  same.  At  meals  they  will 
be  helped  from  the  same  dish,  and  have  the  sam.e  quantity  to 
a  nicely.  If  there  be  but  one  wing  left  of  the  pullet,  it 
must  needs  be  divided  to  the  exactitude  of  a  hair,  or  they  w- ill 
touch  it  not ;  and  if  the  one  haih  a  spoonful  more  gravy  in  his 
trencher  than  hath  the  other,  then  are  both  infinitely  miserable 
till  the  balance  be  adjusted.  This  conceit  they  follow  up  in 
all  things  : — when  Simple  haih  the  toothache.  Dimple  tieth  up 
his  jaws  ;  and  if  one  be  afflicted  with  the  colic,  the  other 
rubbeih  his  bowels,  and  belioweth  like  a  town  bull.  Yet  with 
all  this  affectation  of  friendship,  I  warrant  you  Castor  doth  not 
care  a  fig's  end  for  Pollux — and  Pollux  would  not  cross  the 
way  to  save  his  Castor  from  the  whipping-post." 

Then  Master  Shakspeare,  suddenly  turning  round,  said  to 
his  young  friend,  "  Hear  you  how  Green  maketh  the  people 
laugh  ?"  And  sure  enough  there  was  heard  at  that  moment  a 
very  roar  of  laughter,  which  at  intervals,  did  continue,  wiili 
boisterous  clapping  of  hands  and  the  like. 

"  Now  turn  your  vision  to  where  stands  that  tall  slim  sen- 
tleman,  in  close  converse  wuh  Robert  Armyn,"  said  he. 
"Saw  you  any  thing  so  spic  and  span  ?  he  looks  as  dainly 
as  a  bowl  of  whipped  syllabub,  and  smelleth  as  nice  as  a  dish 
of  stewed  prunes.     Surely  you  will  think  so  fine  a  personage 


104  GHAKSPEARE 

was  made  only  for  Sundays?  for  he  secmeth  n  marvelloa^ 
deal  too  delectable  for  tliis  every-day  world.  His  speech  loo 
lie  makelh  to  match  wit!i  his  dress  ;  for  ii  be  other  folk's  finery, 
cut  and  clipped  in  accordance  with  iiis  own  taste.  Truly  is 
he  clioice  in  his  plirases,  and  putlcth  tliem  to  a  very  absolute 
good  use.  He  will  talk  yon  upon  the  cracking  of  nuts  in  the 
tapestry  style  of  Sir  Piiilip  Sidney  his  Arciidia  ;  and  describe 
tlie  fashion  of  a  garter  in  tlie  heroic  vein  of  the  blank  verse  of 
my  Lord  Sackville.  He  is  Master  Aniseed  :  doubtless  yon 
suppose  that  his  birth  was  as  delicate  as  his  behaviour  ;  and 
his  bringing  np  as  holiday-like  as  his  apparelling.  Yet  was 
his  mother  a  poor  midwife,  and  his  father  a  rat-catcher,  and  to 
the  latter  reputable  vocation  was  he  born  and  bred,  and  did 
practise  with  very  notable  success,  after  the  demise  of  his 
worshipful  parents,  till  a  miserly  uncle  dying,  whose  heir  he 
was,  he  straightway  began  very  earnestly,  with  his  new-found 
gold,  to  purchase  the  necessaries  of  gentility  ;  and  now  pass- 
eth  he,  as  he  doth  imagine,  for  a  truly  creditable  gentleman. 
'Tis  like  you  may  fancy,  by  the  pains  he  takes,  that  Master 
Aniseed  preferreth  his  new  mode  of  life  wonderfully  :  but  in 
that  you  are  much  deceived  ;  for  have  I  good  grounds  for  say- 
ing, that,  in  secre.t,  he  doth  sigh  continually  for  the  more  ex- 
quisite pleasure  he  hath  found  in  the  catching  of  rats." 

At  that  moment  there  entered  at  the  door  one  of  the  players, 
dressed  as  King  Henry  the  Fourth,  whom  Master  Shakspeare 
thus  addressed  : — 

'*  Well,  Lowing,  and  how  goeth  the  play  with  her  majesty?" 

"  Never  went  any  thing  better,"  said  he,  very  cheerfully  ; 
•'  her  majesty  hath  shown  from  the  beginning  an  admirable 
interest  in  the  story  ;  and  Green  hath  made  iier  laugh  till  iier 
crown  tottered  again  ;"   and  then  he  passed  on. 

"  Here,  observe  you  that  portly  man,  with  the  red  face  and 
the  black  beard,  talking  familiarly  to  our  dame  Quickly  and 
Doll  Tearsheet,"  continued  Master  Shakspeare  to  his  young 
friend  ;  "  a  turkey-cock  looks  not  so  valiant.  Judging  of  him 
by  the  way  he  beareth  himself,  one  might  suppose  that  he  had 
inherited  the  warlike  spirits  of  all  the  heroes  who  have  gone 
before  him.  He  seemeth  of  so  great  a  heart  that  he  could 
have  braved  Caesar,  or  pulled  Alexander  by  the  nfS'.  Hear 
him  talk,  and  to  his,  the  deeds  of  the  seven  champions  of 
Christendom  arc  but  as  the  feats  of  idle  apprentices.  'IMiere, 
see  how  he  stalks  across  the  roorn,  holding  by  the  scabbard 
his  monstrous  rapier,  and  looking  about  him  as  valiantly  as  if 


AND  mS  FRIENDS.  105 

hp  C'lrrd  not  n  rush  for  the  whole  company,  and  would  fight 
Iheni  all  round  if  any  dared  but  wink  at  him.  Yet  is  Captain 
Swagger  not  so  dangerous  as  he  looks  ; — indeed  he  hath  done 
no  great  damage  as  yet,  as  I  have  heard  ;  nor  is  he  ever  like 
lo  distinguish  himself  that  way  ;  for  in  his  heart  he  haih  a 
most  Cliristian  abhorrence  of  the  shedding  of  blood  ;  there- 
fore, at  all  times,  he  taketh  good  care  of  his  own  skin.  He 
will  seem  full  of  quarrel  where  there  be  no  disposition  shown 
to  take  offence  ;  but  if  you  look  him  bravely  in  the  face  the 
whilst,  you  may  tread  on  his  toes,  and  he  will  be  in  no  hurry 
lo  lake  notice  of  it." 

"  Now  is  it  the  common  opinion,"  added  he,  *'  that  the 
players  be  confined  to  the  playhouse;  but  I  do  maintain, 
and  have  described  some  of  the  characters  in  this  room, 
lo  prove  that  I  speak  to  the  purpose,  that  there  be  better 
players  off  the  stage  than  on.  Moreover,  if  you  look 
throughout  the  various  busy  scenes  in  the  drama  of  life, 
you  s'hall  have  good  cause  to  admire  the  excellence  with 
which  some  do  play  their  parts,  often  to  the  complete  de- 
lusion of  the  spectators  into  the  belief  that  they  are  what 
they  seem.  By  this  art,  how  often  dolli  the  wanton  pass  for 
a  creature  virtuously  given,  and  the  mere  cheater  play  tlie 
game  of  an  honest  man.  This  is  it  that  makes  the  glib- 
tongued  profligate  so  perfectly  assume  the  character  of  the  de- 
voted lover ;  that  teacheth  the  sanctimonious  hypocrite  how 
lo  be  regarded  as  one  of  God's  chosen  ;  that  gives  to  youth 
and  assurance  the  name  of  candour  and  disinterestedness,  and 
gravity  and  gray  hairs  invest  with  the  air  of  wisdom  and 
goodness.  Truly,  Master  Francis,  if  you  look  well  to  the 
world,  you  shall  find  that  there  be  feigners  that  beat  us  poor 
players  all  to  naught." 

Master  Francis  had  listened  with  marvellous  attention  to 
ihe  discourse  of  his  companion,  without  daring  to  hazard  a 
word  of  reply,  for  fear  of  losing  something  he  might  say 
in  the  interim,  at  which  his  companion  evidently  was  not 
ill  pleased.  In  truth,  it  seemed  that  the  more  he  beheld  of  the 
youth  his  modesty  and  discretion,  the  greater  became  his 
liking  for  him  ;  and  as  he  continued  to  point  out  the  persons 
worthy  of  note  that  were  in  the  room,  he  looked  as  if  iiis  gra- 
tification therein  increased,  with  the  increasing  pleasure  he 
afforded  to  his  auditor. 

"  'J'here  is  as  goodly  a  group  yonder  as  you  will  meet  with 
in  a  playhouse,"  continued  he;  "  it  consisteth  of  young  Ben 
Jonson,  a  veritable  son  of  the  muses,  who  promiseth  to  be  bet- 


106  SHAKSPEARE 

ler  known  than  he  is  ;  my  Lord  Bockhurst,  one  who  haxh 
written  a  tragedy  of  some  note,  and  loveth  to  spend  his  leisure 
upon  players  ;  Master  Edmond  Tilney,  master  of  the  queen's 
revels,  a  very  proper  gentleman,  and  a  courteous,  who  hath 
the  licensing  of  plays,  and  therefore  cometh  amongst  us  often  ; 
Dr.  Thomas  Lodge,  and  Dr.  Thomas  I-»egge,  who  have  writ 
for  our  neighbour  the  Rose,  with  a  very  fair  success  ;  and  that 
pedantic  and  most  conceited  coxcomb  Master  John  Lily,  who 
hath  invented  many  comedies,  yet  is  like  to  get  himself  more 
laughed  at  than  any  of  them.  Ren  Jonson — he  that  is  stand- 
ing up — seemeth  to  have  the  lion's  share  of  the  argument,  as 
is  his  wont;  for  his  tongue  is  a  raiding  famously;  and  1 
judge  from  that,  the  subject  of  dispute  concerneth  the  ancients, 
for  he  prideth  himself  mightily  upon  his  Greek  and  Latin. 
But  here  cometh  my  excellent  good  friend  and  patron  Lord 
Southampton."  At  this  he  broke  off,  and  his  companion  no- 
ticed a  noble-looking  gentleman,  scarce  older  than  himself, 
well  attired,  but  not  too  fine  in  his  appointmems,  who  was  ad- 
vancing towards  them  with  an  easy  courteousness,  and  a 
bland  aspect. 

*'  Well  met.  Master  Shakspeare,"  said  he,  shaking  hands 
with  the  other  very  cordially. 

"I'faith,  if  your  lordship  be  in  as  good  health  as  I  am,'* 
responded  Master  Shakspeare  with  a  smile,  *'  then  are  we 
*  well  met,'  indeed." 

"  Ever  at  it,"  exclaimed  the  Lord  Southampton  laughingly. 
*' Surely  there  never  v/as  thy  match  at  quibbles  and  quirks  ? 
Lideed,  thou  art  a  very  juggler  with  words,  and  at  the  mere 
touch  of  thy  wit  canst  give  them  any  meaning  that  suits  thee.'* 

"  In  truth,  my  good  Lord,"  replied  the  other,  "  my  poor 
words  when  addressed  to  you,  however  little  their  meaning 
may  be,  must  needs  have  a  good  meaning,  for  they  mean  you 
Avell  at  all  limes  ;  and  such  cannot  help  but  suit  me,  seeing 
that  I  take  abundance  of  care  they  are  brought  forth  on  a  fit- 
ting  occasion." 

"  There,  again  !"  cried  my  lord,  laughing  again  very  mer- 
rily. "  Sure,  never  was  the  like  !  But  I  have  just  left  her 
majesty,  ami  rarely  have  I  seen  her  in  a  more  commendable 
humour.  She  doth  applaud  Burbage  to  the  very  echo,  and 
hath  laughed  at  Green  till  her  sides  ached  for  it.  I  tell  tliee, 
if  thou  canst  please  the  higher  powers  so  well,  hast  thou  no 
cause  to  fear  those  foolish  pragmatics  of  the  city.  Let  them 
do  what  they  list.     1  have  spoken  on  thy  behalf  to  mine  ho* 


AND  HIS   FRIENDS.  107 

nourable  and  most  esteemed  good  friend,  Sir  Thomas  Eger- 
ton,  who,  for  learning  in  the  law,  lialh  no  superior;  and  he 
hath  promised  me  to  exert  himself  for  thy  advantage.  Keep 
a  good  heart.  Knowing  that  thou  hast  the  protection  of  Mas- 
ter Attorney-General,  and  art  in  such  absolute  favour  at  court, 
the  aldermen,  even  if  they  have  the  power,  the  which  have  I 
my  doubts  of,  shall  not  dare  drive  thee  from  the  Blackfriars. 
Nay,  I  sliould  take  it  in  very  monstrous  hard  case  indeed, 
were  a  few  paltry  citizens  allowed  to  interfere  with  the  plea- 
sures of  so  many  worshipful  lords  and  gentlemen  as  find  ex- 
cellent entertainment  at  the  playhouse.  Be  of  good  cheer, 
Master  Shakspeare,  thou  shall  never  receive  disadvantage  at 
their  hands." 

"  I  am  infinitely  beholden  to  you,  my  good  lord,"  said 
Master  Shakspeare.  "  It  is  adding  another  leaf  to  that  volume 
of  favours  your  lordship's  bountiful  spirit  hath  accorded  me." 

*'  Take  not  what  I  have  done  for  thee  as  any  thing,"  replied 
my  Lord  Southampton,  putting  his  hand  in  a  friendly  way  on 
the  other's  shoulder.  "  For,  in  honest  truth,  I  am  ashamed  I 
have  as  yet  been  to  thee  of  such  exceeding  poor  service.  Fain 
would  I  show  in  more  substantial  fashion  liow  honourably  I 
regard  the  manifold  excellencies  of  thy  nature  ;  and  be  assured 
I  will  not  rest  till  I  do  something  to  the  purpose.  But  I  must 
needs  be  gone,  for  I  have  a  parly  wailing,  with  whom  is  sweet 
Mistress  Varnon  ;  therefore,  fare  thee  well,  Master  Shak- 
speare, till  we  meet  again." 

"AH  good  attend   you,    my  lord!"  replied  Master  Shak- 
speare with   a   very  earnest  sincerity,  as  he  saw  his   patron 
leave  the  room  ;  then  turning  to  his  young  friend,  who  had 
not  lost  a  syllable  of  the  preceding  discourse,  he  exclaimed, 
"  There  is  a  truly  noble  spirit !  he  is  none  of  your  mere  lords 
who  can  claim  nothing   of  distinction  but  the  names  of  iheir 
fathers — he  is  enrolled  in  nature's  own  peerage  ;  and  carrieth 
his  patent  of  nobility  in  his  heart.     Truly  are  such  an  honour 
to  the  land  ;  and  the  more  England  hath  of  them,  the  better 
able  will  she  be  to  cope  wilh  her  enemies.     Tliough  he  hath 
so  youthful  a  look,  he  is  of  a  most  manly  nature.     He  is  ever 
intent  upon  honourable  purposes — thinketh  that  of  all  wor- 
shipful things  intellect  hath  the  supremacy — and  seemeth  ever 
ready  to  put  his  vantage  of  rank  into  obedience  out  of  respect 
to  the  gifts,  such  as  they  be,  wliich  God  hath  grafted  into  my 
being.     Indeed  it  be  the   knowledge  of  such  notable  disposi- 
tions that  maketh  me  in  love  with  humanity.     I  know  of  but 
one  other  like  liim,  and  him  you  shall  see  anon." 


108  siiAKSPKAiii: 

At  this  instant  there  enlered  at  tlie  door,  laughing  as  if  liiey 
liad  naught  else  in  the  world  to  do  but  to  be  merry,  two  of  the 
players;  the  one,  of  whom  the  reader  halh  already  had  ac' 
quaintance,  to  wil,  Richard  Burbage,  was  dressed  as  the 
Prince  Henry  ;  the  other,  wiih  a  look  of  iirfinile  drollery,  in 
a  suit  of  russet,  with  huge  swollen  belly  and  legs,  did  repre- 
sent Sir  John  Falstafl";  and  he  coming  in  did  freely  accost 
Master  Shakspeare  with  a  very  "hail  fellow"  slap  on  the  back, 
exclaiming — '*  How  now,  Chanticleer  ?  tliou  lookest  as  de- 
mure as  an  old  maid  that  waketh  in  the  night  with  a  dream 
that  she  hath  been  kissed  by  a  blackamoor." 

*'  Go  to — thou  art  Green  !"  replied  Master  Shakspeare  in 
the  same  humour  ;  "  thou  art  Green  by  name  and  green  by 
nature,  therefore  tliy  wit  cannot  be  ripe — and  not  being  ripe 
must  needs  be  sour.  Go  hang  thyself  on  a  sunshiny  wall, 
and  mayhap  thou  shalt  in  time  become  palatable." 

"Away  willi  thee,  thou  pestilent  player  upon  words,  and 
unprofitable  player  upon  a  stage,"  cried  out  the  other,  "  dost 
think  I'll  hang  at  thy  bidding  ?  No — I'll  be  hanged  if  I  do. 
Away  !  I  am  sick  of  thee." 

"Then  hast  thou  the  Green  sickness — which  is  marvellous 
to  behold  in  one  of  thy  appearance,"  replied  Master  Shak- 
speare. 

"  Now  vvl'.ip  me  tliis  knave  !"  said  Master  Green,  turning 
to  his  companion,  who  seemed  as  if  he  could  not  well  main- 
tain his  gravity.  "  Here  be  a  sorry  fellow  for  you,  who  halh 
as  many  jests  to  a  name  as  iheie  are  patches  in  a  Jew's  gabar- 
dine. See  how  he  abuseth  the  license  of  speech  !  Was 
ever  such  poor  practices  known  since  talking  came  into  fa- 
shion ?" 

"  Let  hira  have  his  way,  I  prylhee,"  observed  Master  Bur- 
bage:  "  he  is  but  simple  ;  and  peradventure  had  he  not  his 
usual  pastime  he  might  die  from  the  lack  of  it." 

"  Nay,  if  I  die  not  till  I  lack  sport,  1  sliall  keep  my  breath 
as  long  as" — here  Master  Shakspeare  paused  a  bit,  and  then 
added  archly — "  as  long  as  this  exquisite  world  provideth  such 
sweet  facetious  rogues  as  they  that  now  serve  mc  to  break  a 
jest  upon." 

"  Out  upon  thee  !"  exclaimed  the  representative  of  Sir 
John  Falstaff,  good-humouredly,  *'  thou  wilt  come  to  no  good, 
depend  on't." 

"  How  can  I,  forsooth,  when  such  evil  things  as  tliou  art, 
stop  my  way  ?"  asked  the  other. 

"  I'faith  thou  hadst  best  not  meddle  with  him,"  gravely  re- 


AND  HIS   FRIENDS.  109 

marked  Master  Burbage.  *'  He  is  like  unto  the  great  bear  in 
Paris  garden — he  worryetii  the  dogs  more  than  the  dogs  worry 
him  :  a  murrain  on  him." 

"  Show  not  thy  teeth  then,  good  dogs,"  added  the  other, 
with  a  fc^mile, 

'*  A  fico  for  thee  and  all  thy  kind  1"  cried  Master  Green  ; 
♦*  I  will  show  my  teeth  in  spite  of  thee — ay,  and  use  them 
too  if  it  seemeth  me  good." 

"  Doubtless,  when  such  be  thy  humour,  thou  wouldst  suc- 
ceed in  making  a  green  wound — in  virtue  of  thy  name,"  re- 
torted Master  Shakspeare. 

"  Nay,  if  hanging  be  not  too  good  for  tliee,  burn  me  for  a 
schismatic  !"  laughingly  exclaimed  his  antagonist. 

*'  In  good  truth,  I  do  not  think  thou  wouldst  burn,  Tom," 
coolly  observed  the  one. 

"  Why  not,  Will  ?"  inquired  the  other. 

*'  Seeing  that  green  wood  doth  not  catch  fire  very  readily," 
replied  the  first. 

•'  What  green  again  !"  cried  his  droll  companion,  *'  why 
what  a  master  of  colours  art  thou  who  useth  but  one." 

"  Wouldst  have  him  take  thee  for  a  chameleon,  who  can 
change  his  complexion  as  it  suileth  his  fancy?"  asked  Master 
Burbaore. 

"  For  the  matter  of  that,  he  changeth  his  hue  very  much 
like  your  chameleon,"  said  Master  Shakspeare;  "for  if  you 
catch  him  at  the  tavern,  doubt  not  to  find  him  a  bottle 
Green"— 

"  Ha  !  ha  !"  shouted  both  at  the  same  time. 

'•  If  he  ventureth  on  the  salt  ocean,  assuredly  he  is  a  sea 
Green"— 

"  Good,  o'  my  life  1"  exclaimed  Master  Burbage,  laughing 
very  lustily. 

"  That  he  be  not  a  Kendal  or  a  Lincoln  Green,  I  can  war- 
rant, knowing  that  he  comelh  from  Warwickshire  ;  but  when 
all  that  is  now  man  of  him  be  turned  into  mould,  there  can- 
not be  a  question  that  ho  will  make  a  very  respectable  grass 
Green." 

"Oh,  kill  me  that  varlet  straight!"  cried  Master  Green, 
shaking  his  monstrous  stomach  with  the  violence  of  his  mirth. 
*'  Kill  him,  Dick,  if  thou  lov'st  me — for  he  hath  filled  me 
full  of  most  villanous  vegetable  conceits.  I  do  begin  to  fancy 
some  old  grannum,  coming  for  simples,  catching  me  up  for  a 

VOL.  I.  10 


110  .  SHAKSrEARE 

goodly  pennyworth,  and  boiling  me,  as  a  sovereign  remedy 
for  her  rheumatics." 

*'  Nay,  Tom,  thou  shall  be  put  to  no  such  ignoble  use,  be- 
lieve me,"  said  Master  Shakspeare,  now  laughing  in  his  turn. 
*'  Green  ihou  art,  it  cannot  be  denied,  and  it  be  equally  cer- 
tain that  thou  wilt  be  ever-Green  ;  therefore,  if  it  pleaseth 
thee,  when  I  seek  the  hays  I  will  come  to  thee  for  as  much 
as  thou  canst  provide." 

"  Well  said,  bully  rook !"  replied  the  other,  giving  him 
another  hearty  slap  on  the  back.  "  If  thou  dependest  on  me 
for  thy  laurels,  thou  shalt  have  good  store  of  them — for  I  do 
believe  that  thou  hast  earned  them  well." 

"  So  say  I,"  added  Master  Burbage,  with  exceeding  ear- 
nestness. 

"  But  how  goeth  the  play,  my  masters  ?"  suddenly  inquired 
Ma.ster  Shakspeare,  as  if  inclined  to  give  a  turn  to  the  con- 
versation. 

"  As  well  as  any  thing  can  go  that  goeth  upon  legs,*' 
replied  Master  Green. 

"  But  how  doth  a  play  go  upon  legs,  Tom  ?"  asked  Bur- 
bage.    "  That  conceit  be  out  of  all  toleration." 

"  Not  a  whit,  not  a  whit,  Dick,"  answered  the  other— 
"  'tis  as  plain  as  the  nose  on  thy  face ;  and  I  will  do  thee  the 
justice  to  acknowledge  that  thou  hast  very  '  plain'  features." 

"  Out,  thou  pudding  !"  cried  Burbage,  laughing  heartily  ; 
and  fetching  his  companion  a  sly  poke  in  the  midriff,  he 
thereupon  gave  a  quick  jump  away,  and  went  with  a  great 
bang  against  Master  Aniseed,  who  coming  strutting  along 
in  his  finery  to  ascertain  what  they  were  so  merry  upon, 
had  got  nigh  upon  Master  Green,  when  he  was  sent  by  the 
suddenness  of  the  concussion  flying  along  as  if  he  had  been 
shot  out  of  a  culverin,  knocking  down  Lords  Dimple  and 
Simple,  scattering  others  to  the  right  and  to  the  left,  and 
fetching  Sir  Narcissus  Wrinkles  with  one  of  his  outspread 
arms  such  a  whack  of  the  chaps,  that  it  sent  his  periwig  off 
unto  the  other  end  of  the  room.  In  an  instant,  half  a  dozen 
rapiers  were  drawn  ;  and  foremost  of  all,  Sir  Narcissus  with 
his  bald  pate,  and  swearing  in  a  monstrous  passion,  was 
advancing  to  where  stood  Master  Aniseed,  trying  to  catch 
his  breath,  and  looking  as  if  he  knew  not  for  a  certainty 
whether  he  was  on  his  head  or  on  his  heels.  Others  pre- 
sently interposed  to  prevent  bloodshed,  but  some  would  not 
be  pacified  so  readily :  and  a  good  many  were  so  provoked 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  1  1  1 

by  the  ridiculousness  of  tlie  wiiole  scene,  that  they  could  do 
nothing  but  laugh. 

"  Let  me  at  him  !"  cried  Sir  Narcissus.  "  By  Acheron 
and  gloomy  Styx,  Fll  teach  him  to  play  his  tricks  on  me,  I 
warrant  you." 

•'  'Sblood,  I  must  kill  him  within  the  instant,"  shouted 
Captain  Swagger,  looking  prodigiously  fierce,  and  flourishing 
his  rapier  in  a  most  sanguinary  manner.  "  He  hath  given 
me  a  blow !  nothing  but  his  life  can  atone  for't." 

"  By  this  light  he  dies,  for  he  hath  hurt  my  friend,"  ex- 
claimed Lord  Dimple,  raising  his  head  from  the  floor,  and 
looking  pathetically  towards  Lord  Simple,  who  lay  at  his 
length  a  little  distance  off'. 

"  Nay,  I  be  not  much  damaged,"  replied  the  latter,  slowly 
placing  himself  in  a  sitting  position.  "  But  if  I  trounce  him 
not  for  the  ill  office  he  hath  done  thee,  then  is  friendship  but 
a  name." 

♦'  Nay,  Sir  Narcissus,  put  up  your  weapon — it  was  but  an 
accident,"  said  Master  Taylor. 

"Ten  thousand  furies!  let  me  at  him,  I  say!"  cried  the 
enraged  knight,  vainly  endeavouring  to  break  from  those 
who  held  him  tight. 

"  Come,  good  captain,  we  must  have  no  fighting  here!" 
cried  Master  Lowing,  who  with  others  were  trying  to  hold 
him  back. 

"  Away,  gentlemen  I"  bawled  Captain  Swagger.  "  He 
hath  signed  his  own  death-warrant.  He  hath  done  me  an 
offence.     Hold  me  not,  I  pray  you,  for  I  must  kill  him." 

"Who  talks  of  killing]"  cried  Master  Green,  looking 
preposterously  valiant  and  big,  and  coming  in  before  Master 
Aniseed  with  a  rapier  of  a  tremendous  length,  which  he  had 
drawn  from  the  scabbard  at  his  side.  "  Is  any  man  so 
weary  of  life  as  to  stand  before  my  invincible  toasting-iron — 
then  let  him  die  now,  and  pray  all  the  rest  of  his  days.  Am 
I  not  famed  for  the  killing  of  giants,  of  griffins,  dragons,  and 
monsters  horrid  1  Then  pity  be  pitiless :  puppies  shall 
drown  in  pails,  or  I'll  know  the  reason  on't.  My  masters, 
before  I  let  fly  my  valour  and  shave  the  world  of  its  hu- 
manity, it  seemeth  to  me  good  to  say  this  much.  So  he  that 
hath  ears  to  hear,  let  him  give  me  his  ears — and  if  he  be 
deaf,  why,  let  him  hold  his  tongue.  Thus  is  it — Let  it  be 
known  to  you  that  the  good  youth  who  hath  made  all  this 
turmoil,  be  in  no  way  to  blame,  seeing  that  he  was  but  an 


112  SHAKSPEARE 

agent  in  the  mischief  of  which  he  was  the  innocent  cause ; 
for  thus  stands  the  tale :  I  jumping  bacli  suddenly,  not 
knowing  such  a  person  was  so  nigh  at  hand,  came  with  all 
my  force  against  him,  and  did  force  him,  very  unwillingly 
on  his  part,  I  will  be  bound  for't,  to.  do  what  hath  excited 
your  high  displeasure.  Now,  mark  this:  it  be  an  unques- 
tionable truth,  that  no  map.  is  ever  in  a  rage  with  the  bullet 
that  killeth  him ;  but,  doubtless,  would  be  glad,  if  he  could, 
to  pay  off  the  pestilent  varlet  who  shot  the  bullet,  duarrel 
not,  then,  with  the  bullet  in  this  business — but  they  whose 
indignations  be  unquenchable,  let  them  at  me — for  I  shot 
the  bullet." 

Shouts  of  laughter  rose  from  all  parts  of  the  room  during 
this  discourse,  but  when  the  speaker,  with  his  great,  stuffed 
body  and  valiant  looks,  more  laughable  than  terrible,  begun 
swinging  his  monstrous  weapon  about,  jumping  quickly 
here  and  there,  and  slashing  on  all  sides  Vvith  an  abundance 
of  ridiculous  antics,  they  that  were  nighest  to  him  made  all 
haste  to  get  out  of  his  way ;  the  rapiers  were  quickly 
sheathed,  and  such  roars  of  laughter  followed  one  another 
from  all  the  company,  that  never  was  the  like  heard. 

"  I  pray  you,  if  you  be  good  Christians,  bury  the  dead 
quickly,"  observed  Master  Green,  gravely  putting  up  his 
weapon, — at  which  every  one  laughed  the  more.  "  Indeed 
this  be  killing  vrork,"  continued  he,  wiping  his  brows  with 
his  handkerchief,  amid  the  shouts  of  all  around  him.  "  'Tis 
a  thousand  pities  it  be  so  fatiguing  to  the  body,  else  would  I 
slay  as  many  score  as  I  have  done  now,  every  day  i'  the 
year,  and  find  it  a  very  pretty  diversion." 

"  Prythee,  sweet  friend,  tell  me  if  thy  hurt  be  great  !'* 
asked  Lord  Dimple,  leaning  upon  the  shoulder  of  his  asso- 
ciate, very  anxiously;  though,  when  he  saw  the  great 
weapon  coming  into  play  a  minute  since,  he  jumped  out  of 
the  way  without  in  the  least  looking  after  his  friend. 

"  In  truth,  my  elbow  be  somewhat  bruised,"  replied  Lord 
Simple,  with  a  right  dolorous  look.  "But  how  is  it  with 
thee  ?" 

*'  By  this  hand  I  am  also  a  little  hurt  in  the  elbow,"  said 
he,  very  tenderly  feeling  his  arm  at  the  joint.  "  But  I  am 
villanous  sore  v/here  I  sit  me  down." 

"Alack  !  I  have  there  the  most  pestilent  soreness  true  friend 
ever  endured,"  replied  the  other,  and  immediately  he  did  be- 
gin rubbing  himself  behind  with  a  couiUenance  that  v/ould 
have  softened  a  heart  of  stone. 


AND  HIS  FRIENDP.  113 

"  And  now,  Tom,  to  the  proofs,"  said  Biirbage,  after  llie 
Inughler  had  abated,  and  things  became  in  the  room  near  wliat 
they  were  before  Master  Aniseed's  mishap,  '*  How  doth  a 
play  go  upon  legs  ?" 

"  Doth  not  a  play  go  upon  the  players  V  inquired  Master 
Green. 

"  Of  a  truth,  it  cannot  go  well  without,"  observed  the  other, 

"  And  do  not  the  players  go  upon  legs  ?"  asked  he. 

"  Truly,  they  could  not  well  go  without,"  remarked  Mas- 
ter Shakspeare,  with  all  his  gravity. 

*'  Well,  then,  my  masters,  dost  see  the  drift  of  my  argu- 
ment?" said  Green.  "  If  the  play  be  supported  by  the  play- 
ers, and  the  players  be  supported  by  their  legs,  is  it  not  as 
true  as  that  chickens  come  out  of  egg-shells,  that  a  play  goeth 
upon  legs  ?" 

"  I  question  not  that  if  the  play  ♦  stand'  at  all,  it  shall  have 
legs  to  stand  upon,"  observed  Master  Shakspeare  in  the  same 
humour,  *'  but  I  doubt  hugely,  that  the  play  and  the  players 
go  together  at  all  times  ;  for  it  may  chance  that  the  players  be 
*  damned,'  which  is  like  enough  of  some  of 'em  that  I  know  ; 
but  the  damning  of  the  play  doth  not  follow,  especially  if 
it  be  one  of  mine." 

"  Out  upon  thee,  thou  intolerable  piece  of  vanity  and  horri- 
ble calumniator  !"  cried  Master  Green,  laughing  all  the  time, 
*'  I  will  forswear  thy  company,  and  on  the  instant  take  my- 
self ofT." 

"  Do  so,  Tom,"  replied  Master  Shakspeare,  as  his  friend 
was  leaving  him,  "  thou  wilt  save  me  an  infinite  world  of 
trouble  by  it,  for  I  have  been  taking  thee  off  this  many  a  day." 

"I  owe  thee  one  for  that  I"  emphatically  exclaimed  the 
other,  turning  round  as  he  was  going  out  at  the  door,  and 
shaking  his  droll  head  at  him  very  merrily,  ''and  if  I  pay 
thee  not,  Will,  thou  shall  hold  me  in  no  more  estimation  than 
a  soused  gurnet." 

"Away  with  thee,  thou  wilt  never  become  half  so  dainty  a 
piece  of  pickle  !"  retorted  his  companion. 

When  Green  was  gone  Master  Shakspeare  did  adtlress  Bur- 
bage  in  his  usual  playful  manner,  with  *'  Well,  Dick,  did  the 
verses  play  the  part  thou  wouldst  have  them  ?" 

"Excellently  well,"  replied  he.  "In  truth,  never  verses 
had  belter  reception.  If  she  be  not  an  exquisite  judge  of  all 
the  commodities  of  a  good  measure,  then  stand  I  on  a  very 
indifferent  footing  with  a  pretty  woman." 

10* 


114  SliAKSPEAKE 

"  r  faith,  ihy  feel  have  but  an  indifferent  appearance,  Dick,'' 
said  Master  Shakspeare,  gravely  looking  down  upon  tlie 
other's  shoes. 

"  That  mvist  needs  become  a  standing  joke,"  observed  his 
companion. 

"  It  may,  for  I  do  not  think  it  deserves  to  be  set  down.'* 

"Go  to!"  exclaimed  Master  Burbage,  jocularly.  "But 
listen  to  me.  I  watched  her  the  whilst  she  read  tliy  poem, 
and,  believe  me,  her  face  be  worth  the  looking  at :  and  as  she 
proceeded  she  opened  her  pretty  lips — a  tempting  pair,  by 
this  light! — and  said,  'That  is  not  il!,'  and  anon,  'brave 
words  !'  and  presently,  'an  excellent  good  conceit;'  and  tlius 
went  she  till  she  came  to  the  end,  when  she  did  acknowledge 
that  they  were  of  better  stuff  than  she  had  expected  of  me." 

"  Then  must  she  have  had  a  marvellous  bad  opinion  of 
ihee,"  duly  remarked  his  companion,  "  and  evidently  knevi^ 
thy  value  to  a  fraction.     But  what  didst  get  for  them  T' 

"  Dost  think  I  kiss  and  tell  ?"  said  the  other,  in  a  seem- 
ing indignation.  "But  I  tell  thee  how  it  is,  W'lW,  I  have  cut 
out  him  of  the  sonnet ;  he  haih  no  more  chance  than  a  drown- 
ed kitten  in  Houndsditch.  And  our  next  assignation  hath  a 
very  pretty  conceit  in  it,  for  it  is  agreed  between  us  that  I 
shall  come  to  her  door ;  and  to  prevent  mistakes,  when  she 
says  '  who's  there,'  at  ray  knocking,  I  am  to  reply,  *  It  is  I — 
Richard  the  Third.' " 

"  What,  dost  mean  to  play  the  tyrant  with  her?"  laugh- 
ingly inquired  Master  Shakspeare.  "  But  let  not  thy  long- 
ings for  her  father's  gold  make  thee  too  sanguine.  Mayhap 
thou  wilt  find  plenty  of  Richmonds  in  the  field  yet." 

"  I  care  not  if  there  be — I  am  desperately  in  love  ;  and  if 
she  is  to  be  had,  will  have  her  in  spite  of  them,"  replied  Mas- 
ter Burbage.  "  But  there  is  our  Slentor,  with  his  lungs 
©'leather,  giving  me  a  pretty  loud  hint  that  I  am  wanted  ;  so 
I  am  off."     Saying  which,  he  hastily  departed  at  the  door. 

"  And  how  like  you  the  players  and  their  associates,"  ask- 
ed Master  Shakspeare  to  his  young  companion. 

"  In  truth,  exceeding  well,"  replied  Master  Francis,  cheer- 
fully, "  never  have  I  been  so  much  amused  as  during  the 
time  I  have  been  here.  Methinks  they  must  lead  a  right 
merry  life." 

"  They  are  the  very  grasshoppers  of  the  age,"  observed  his 
friend,  "  a  small  matter  of  sunshine  sufficeth  to  make  them 
chirp  ;  notwithstanding  which  they  oftlimes  live  in  fear  of  be- 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  115 

ing  trodden  iiinlcr  foot,  or  snapped  up  by  such  as  think  fit  to 
devour  them  and  their  substance."  Doubtless,  in  this  Mas- 
ter Shakspeare  did  alkide  to  the  efforts  that  had  been  made  by 
the  city  authorities  to  deprive  himself  and  his  associates  of 
performing  plays  within  their  jurisdiction. 

Al'ier  some  lime  longer  passed  in  the  room,  his  friend  did 
lead  Master  Francis  out  just  as  many  of  the  players  came  in, 
denoting  that  the  play  was  over  ;  and  after  carefully  picking 
his  way  along,  he  was  brought  before  a  large  curtain,  in  the 
which  there  was  a  hole  whereat  Master  Shakspeare  took  a 
peep,  and  desired  his  companion  to  do  the  same.  He  looked, 
and  saw  a  throng  of  people  of  the  respectable  sort,  standing 
up  close  together  a  little  below  him  ;  whilst  a  vast  number  of 
i;ooms,  all  round  about  and  above  them,  were  filled  with  lords 
and  ladies,  and  the  like,  very  splendidly  attired  ;  and  up  higher 
on  "  the  scaffold,"  or  gallery,  were  a  crowd  of  the  meaner 
kind,  who  could  afford  neither  a  shilling  or  a  sixpence,  such 
as  had  been  paid  by  "  the  groundlings,"  and  those  in  the 
rooms,  but  came  only  as  threepenny  customers.  All  was 
open  to  the  sky,  and  at  the  top  was  a  great  flag.  But  what 
struck  him  the  most  was  the  noise  and  hubbub  of  the  people. 
Some  were  shouting  "  God  save  the  queen,"  others  casting 
up  their  hats,  and  tlie  ladies  waved  their  handkerchiefs  ;  and 
turning  his  eyes  to  where  the  looks  of  the  audience  were  di- 
rected. Master  Francis  beheld,  in  the  largest  of  the  rooms,  all 
daintily  fitted  up  with  curtains  of  satin  and  gold,  her  majesty, 
Queen  Elizabeth,  who,  with  a  very  queenlike  dignity,  had 
presented  herself  in  front  of  her  noble  attendants,  clad  with 
princely  magnificence  ;  and  continued  most  graciously  to  curt- 
sey to  her  applauding  subjects. 

He  had  not  been  many  minutes  engaged  in  observing  this 
interesting  scene,  from  the  attractions  of  which  he  could 
scarcely  take  off  his  eyes,  when  he  felt  himself  touched  on 
the  slioulder,  and  turning  round,  saw  a  handsome  and  gal- 
lant-looking gentleman  approaching  the  place  where  he 
stood. 

"  I  have  been  in  constant  expectation  of  seeing  you,  Sir 
Walter" 

"  Speed  thee.  Master  Shakspeare,  and  follow  me,"  said  the 
other,  interrupting  him  quickly. 

"  I  must  first  request  your  kind  offices  in  favour  of 
my  young  friend  here,  who  is  a  youth  of  excellent  parts 
and" — - 


1  10  SHAKSPEARE 

*'  Let  him  come  to  me  at  Durham  House  to-morrow,  at 
eleven  o'clock,"  said  he,  "  for,  in  truth,  I  have  not  a  minute 
to  lose  now.  Her  majesty  hath  desired  that  thou  shouldst 
be  presented  to  her,  and  if  we  make  not  prodigious  haste 
she  will  be  gone." 

"  Be  sure  and  go  to  Durham  House,  as  Sir  Walter  Ra- 
leigh hath  required,  and  thou  wilt  find  thy  advantage  in  it," 
whispered  Master  Shakspeare ;  and  in  a  moment  afterwards 
Master  Francis  found  himself  alone.  For  a  minute  or  two 
it  seemed  to  him  that  all  had  passed  as  a  dream.  It  ap- 
peared scarcely  possible  that  he  should  have  stood  in  the 
presence  of  the  far-famed  Sir  Walter  Raleigh — have  been 
recommended  to  his  patronage,  and  desired  of  him  to  call  at 
his  mansion  :  and  it  could  not  but  be  (so  he  thought)  that 
the  stately-looking  gentleman,  so  richly  clad,  who  a  mo- 
ment since  stood  before  him,  was  a  mere  delusion  of  the 
fancy.  These  reflections  threw  him  into  a  profound  revery, 
in  the  which  he  was  so  completely  lost,  that  he  saw  and 
heard  nothing  around  him. 

"  Prythee  tell  me,  what  have  they  offered  thee  a  week  3" 
was  asked  him  a  third  time  before  he  noticed  that  the  ill- 
favoured  and  inquisitive  knave,  Gib  the  call-boy,  with  his 
enormous  mouth  upon  the  stretch,  and  his  eyes  squinting 
more  abominably  than  ever,  was  at  his  elbow,  wondering 
that  he  could  get  no  answer. 

"  Hold  thy  prate — I  know  not,"  was  the  reply. 

"  Nay,  if  thou  knowest  not,  thou  canst  not  tell,  of  a 
surety,"  observed  the  call-boy.  "  But  thou  canst  think  with- 
out knowing,  and  therefore  say,  I  prythee,  what  thou  dost 
think  they  have  offered  thee  ?" 

"  What  matters  it  to  thee,"  replied  the  other,  in  spite  of 
himself,  amused  at  the  coaxing,  wheedling  manner  in  which 
the  bandy-legged  urchin  attempted  to  win  the  important 
secret  from  him. 

"  In  honest  truth,  I  am  curious  to  know  if  they  are  in- 
clined to  give  thee  as  much  as  a  whole  shilling  a  week  and 
find  thyself  out  on't,"  said  the  boy,  holding  up  his  head  with 
such  an  affectation  of  conceit  that  the  other  could  not  help 
laughing  in  his  face. 

"  Then,  in  honest  truth,  I  believe  they  are  not,"  responded 
Master  Francis. 

"  I  thought  so,"  said  Gib,  with  an  air  of  satisfaction  that 
increased  the  mirth  of  his  companion — then  added,  in  a 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  117 

tone  of  consolation,  "  Be  not  cast  down  at  it.  I  do  assure 
thee,  that  if  thou  wilt  abide  by  my  advice,  and  do  the 
women,  thou  shalt  get  as  much  as  that  in  good  time ; 
for  truly  thou  art  well  fitted  for  playing  in  such  parts,  seeing 
that  thou  wilt  have  no  call  for  a  beard  yet  awhile,  and  when 
it  doth  appear  in  any  sort  of  prodigality,  I  have  an  honest 
barber  of  my  acquaintance  who  shall  pluck  each  individual 
hair  out  by  the  roots,  and  charge  thee  little  or  nothing 
for  it." 

"  I  am  obliged  to  thee  infinitely,"  seriously  observed  the 
youth,  who  winced  under  the  very  idea  of  such  torture.  "  I 
tell  thee,  once  for  all,  I  never  had  any  desire  of  becoming  a 
player,  and  all  the  service  I  require  of  thee,  is  to  lead  me  out 
of  this  place  as  quickly  as  thou  canst." 

"  Desirest  thou  not  to  become  a  player  V  thundered  out 
the  astonished  call-boy.  "  Well,  here  is  a  fortune  thrown 
away  !  And  I  did  hope  thou  wouldst  have  supplanted  our 
Juliet,  who,  no  later  than  yesterday,  gave  me  a  villanous 
kick  i'  the  breech  for  offering  to  show  him  how  to  die  more 
graceful  than  is  his  wont." 

"  And  I  will  give  thee  another  if  thou  dost  not  instantly 
lead  me  into  the  street,"  added  Master  Francis,  looking  as 
seriously  as  he  could.  At  this  the  eyes  of  the  call-boy 
seemed  directed  in  every  way  at  the  same  time ;  and  with- 
out saying  a  word  more,  he  began  to  shuffle  his  mis-shapen 
legs  away  as  fast  as  he  could, — closely  followed  by  the 
other. 

While  those  two  were  leaving  the  playhouse.  Sir  Walter 
Raleigh  was  hurrying  Master  Shakspeare  along,  and  they 
arrived  at  the  queen's  room  just  as  her  majesty  was  moving 
to  depart,  with  all  her  noble  train  of  lords  and  ladies  around 
her. 

"  Please  your  majesty,  here  is  Master  William  Shak- 
speare," said  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  as  he  pushed  through  the 
throng. 

"  Let  him  enter,"  said  the  queen.  Thereupon,  Master 
Shakspeare  advanced  towards  the  queen  and  knelt  before 
her;  and  her  majesty  and  many  of  her  courtiers — especially 
the  ladies,  did  look  upon  him  very  curiously. 

•'  Master  Shakspeare,"  exclaimed  the  queen,  •'  we  do 
commend  the  excellence  of  your  wit,  whereof  the  application 
hath  pleased  us  much,  on  more  occasions  than  the  present ; 
and  will  take  care  you  suffer  no  hindrance  in  your  calling, 


118  SHAKSPEARE 

SO  long  as  you  continue  as  you  have  done,  to  attempt  not  to 
meddle  with  matters  of  state.  Of  all  your  performances, 
that  fat  knight  hath  delighted  us  in  the  greatest  measure  ; 
and  it  seemeth  that  we  should  find  an  additional  satisfaction 
could  we  see  the  rogue  in  love.  Think  of  it,  Master  Shak- 
speare,  and  if  your  conceit  jump  that  way,  send  word  to  the 
palace,  and  we  will  give  you  the  first  fitting  opportunity  to 
read  to  us  whatever  you  may  write  upon  the  subject."  Then 
graciously  giving  him  her  ungloved  hand  all  brilliant  with 
jewels,  to  which  he  respectfully  bent  his  lips,  her  majesty 
passed  him  by,  followed  by  her  maids  of  honour,  her  officers 
in  waiting,  and  others  whose  duty  it  was  to  attend  upon  her 
person,  leaving  Master  Shakspeare  kneeling,  from  which  he 
presently  rose,  and  in  a  few  minutes  heard  the  trumpets  and 
kettle-drums,  with  the  hurrahs  of  the  mob  outside,  striking 
up  as  the  queen  left  the  playhouse  in  her  caroch. 


CHA.PTER  VIII. 

Millions  of  yeares  this  old  drivell  Cupid  lives  ; 

While  still  more  wretch,  more  wicked  he  doth  prove ; 

Till  now  at  length  that  Jove  an  office  gives, 

(At  Juno's  suit,  who  much  did  Argus  love) 
In  this  our  world  a  hangman  for  to  be 
Of  all  those  fooles  that  will  have  all  they  see. 

Sir  Philip  Sidxey. 

There  are  a  sort  of  men,  whose  visages 
Do  cream  and  mantle  like  a  standing  pond, 
And  do  a  wilful  stillness  entertain 
With  purpose  to  be  dressed  in  an  opinion 
Of  wisdom,  gravity,  profound  conceit  ; 
As  who  should  say,  I  am  Sir  Oracle, 
And  when  I  ope  my  lips  let  no  dog  bark. 

Shakspeare. 

*' Come,  coz  !  coz  !  Prythee  have  done  with  this  sighing 
and  trembling,"  exclaimed  Mistress  Alice  to  her  fair  cozen,  as 
Ihey  were  together  in  iheir  tiring-room,  seemingly  gelling 
themselves  ready  to  go  upon  a  journey.  "  Why,  ihou  makest 
as  much  fuss  about  being  married  as  might  I,  for  whom  the 
idea  of  it  hath  but  sorry  recommendation  indeed.  Well, 
Heaven  help  them  that  cannot  help  themselves,  say  I — and  of 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  119 

all  that  need  help,  none  are  like  your  would-be  wife ;  for  of  a 
Irulli,  she  must  be  in  monstrous  hard  case,  that  desirelh  so 
ridiculous  a  thing  as  a  husband." 

*'  He  cannot  help  being  ruined,"  observed  Mistress  Throck- 
morton, sorrowfully,  and  quite  inattentive  to  the  remarks  of 
her  merry  kinswoman. 

"  Well,  blame  him  not  for  it,"  said  the  other,  in  her  pretty 
droll  way.  *'  For,  if  he  cannot  help  it,  he  should  escape  cen- 
sure. But  melhinks  there  be  no  great  cause  for  such  appre- 
hension, for  when  I  showed  thy  father's  letter  to  the  queen 
requesting  thy  presence  at  AKIgate,  on  the  pretence  of  his  de- 
clining health  ;  she  had  come  from  the  play  in  so  fine  a 
liumour,  that  it  seemed  as  if  she  could  have  granted  any  thing  : 
therefore  art  thou  to  go,  and  I  with  thee  :  and  if  thy  man  ani- 
mal fail  thee  not,  thou  wilt  be  made  his  yokefellow  straight. 
Now  have  I  very  palpably  in  my  mind's  eye,  the  appearance 
of  thyself  and  thy  precious  helpmate  some  two  or  three  score 
of  years  hence.  Thou  wilt  sit  on  one  side  of  the  chimney 
corner,  and  he  on  the  other,  like  Darby  and  Joan  :  wiih,  may- 
hap, the  cat  at  thy  feet,  and  the  dog  at  his,  and  his  worship 
lifting  up  his  woollen  nightcap  to  scratch  his  bald  pate  the 
whilst,  shall  say,  in  a  monstrous  thin  voice,  like  a  sucking 
beetle,"  here  did  she  imitate  an  old  man's  querulous  speech 
to  the  life — "  '  Dame  !  it  be  woundy  cold  o'  nights— hast 
never  another  pair  o'  hose  to  cover  up  my  legs  V  And  then  thou 
shall  look  at  his  shrunk  shanks  very  pitifully  over  thy  specta- 
cles, and  dividing  thy  nose  and  chin,  which  shall  then  be  nigh 
unto  kissing  each  other,  shalt  answer,  'Forsooth,  my  old  man, 
'lis  but  proper  thou  shouldst  have  another  pair  ;  for  I  know 
by  the  absolute  shooting  o'  my  corns,  we  shall  have  foul 
weather  soon.' " 

"  Fie  on  thee,  Alice  !"  exclaimed  Mistress  Elizabeth,  yet 
scarcely  able  to  refrain  from  joining  in  her  companion's  mer- 
riment— for  the  little  creature  screwed  her  pretty  face  into  so 
odd  an  expression — and  made  her  voice  sound  so  tremulous 
and  droll,  in  accordance  with  the  laughable  scene  she  was  de- 
scribing, that  it  was  impossible  for  any  one  to  have  looked  on 
unmoved. 

"And  then  being  mighty  skilful  in  the  preparation  of  sim- 
ples," continwed  Alice  very  archly.  "  After  having  put  him 
to  bed  and  tucked  him  up,  that  the  cold  shall  not  visit  his  old 
bones  too  roughly — for  I  prythee  remember,  there  shall  be 
nothing  of  him  but  skiu  and  bone — thou  shah  make  him  a 


120  SHAKSPEARE 

famous  posset,  with  spice  in  it,  to  comfort  his  poor  bowels— 
whereof,  when  he  halh  swallowed  a  sufficiency,  thou  shalt 
take  the  rest;  then  to  bed  wilh  him — and  a  few  minutes  after 
which,  thou  shalt  be  heard  snoring  a  fine  treble  as  an  accom- 
paniment to  his  worship's  excellent  bass." 

♦'  Nay,  I  am  ashamed  of  ihee  !"  cried  the  other,  although 
she  could  in  no  way  help  laughing  at  the  conceit,  in  spile  of 
the  trouble  she  seemed  to  be  in.  *'  But  haste  thee,  Alice,  with 
our  things,  or  my  father  will  have  to  wail — which  thou  know- 
est  he  likes  not.     Ah,  me — I  would  it  were  all  over !" 

"  Ah,  me — I  would  it  were  well  over,  or  under  either,  so 
that  it  had  a  good  ending,"  said  Alice,  briskly.  "  By  my  troth, 
there  must  needs  be  something  in  this  taking  of  a  husband,  by 
the  to-do  which  is  made  of  it ;  though,  meihinks,it  would  re- 
quire as  great  a  conjurer  as  Dr.  Dee,  to  find  out  where  iieth 
the  wonder.  For  mine  own  part,  I  cannot  but  help  believing, 
that  these  man  animals  are  hugely  flattered — seeing  thu  we 
are  inclined  to  make  so  great  a  fuss  out  of  so  small  a  matter." 

"  He  will  be  undone  !"  exclaimed  Mistress  Elizabeth,  sigh- 
ing, and  wringing  her  hands. 

"  A  pudding  undone  !"  cried  Alice,  her  sparkling  eyes  flash- 
ing very  merrily.  "  Why  should  he  be  undone,  I  prythee  ? 
— unless  he  undo  himself;  and  then  mayhap  he  shall  get 
himself  in  a  tanglement,  like  the  fag-end  of  a  ball  of  worsted 
in  the  paws  of  a  kitten.  I  tell  thee,  Bess,  he  shall  never  be 
undone.  There  is  that  in  him  which  will  put  up  with  no  un- 
doing. Think  not  of  it.  It  cannot  be.  Thou  shalt  find  him 
like  a  very  pretty  skein  of  silk,  as  he  is;  and  shalt  wind  him 
off  clear  to  the  end." 

"  It  was  noble  in  him  to  offer  to  marry  me,"  said  Mistress 
Throckmorton — somewhat  as  it  were  to  herself. 

"  Nay,  I  cannot  see  it  be  so  very  noble  either,"  replied  her 
laughing  cousin  ;  "  truly  thou  art  worthy  to  mate  wilh  as  good 
as  he — or  better,  if  it  come  to  that." 

"No,  no,  no  !"  cried  Mistress  Elizabeth,  shaking  her  head 
in  very  woful  fashion. 

"  But  I  say  yes,  yes,  yes!"  quickly  exclaimed  the  other. 
*'  In  all  respects  he  hath  got  an  excellent  bargain,  and  the 
varlet  knoweth  it,  or  I  be  much  deceived.  Thou  shouldst 
not  hold  thyself  too  cheap,  Bess  ;  a  w^oman  gets  nothing  by 
that,  depend  on't.  As  for  me,  if  there  be  any  that  would 
have  me  at  mine  own  valuation,  then  shall  they  coin  all  the 
♦  man's  flesh  that  may  be  met  with  above  ground  into  rose 


AND  Ills  FRIENDS.  '121 

nobles ;  and  lack  the  greatest  portion  of  wliat  I  would  go  for 
after  all." 

"  In  truth,  then,  thou  wouldst  go  at  a  price  indeed," 
remarked  her  cousin. 

*'  Price,  quotha !  why  should  I  not  go  at  a  price  1"  replied 
the  merry  Alice,  tossing  her  little  head  very  prettily.  "  Dost 
think  I  am  but  a  pennyworth  ] — of  so  little  account,  that  he 
that  gets  me  might  run  a  withy  through  my  gills,  and  carry 
me  home  like  a  cheap  mackerel  ]" 

*'  Nay,  I  meant  not  that,"  said  Mistress  Elizabeth,  smiling 
at  the  exceeding  oddity  of  her  cousin's  humour. 

*'  Thou  art  not  held  so  poorly  in  my  esteem,  believe  mg ; 
for  thou  hast  ever  been  to  me  a  very  dear  good  creature," 
and  thereat  she  stooped  and  kissed  her  rosy  dimpled  check 
with  an  admirable  affection. 

"  Ay,  if  I  am  to  be  bought,  I'll  be  a  dear  creature  to  him 
that  buys  me,  depend  on't,"  laughingly  answered  she,  as  she 
returned  her  cousin's  caress.  "  But  hark — here  comes  a 
footstep !"  Saying  this,  she  hastened  to  the  door,  the  which 
she  opened  as  some  one  approached  it,  and  noticing  that  it 
was  one  of  the  yeomen  of  the  j^uard,  she  exclaimed,  "  Ha, 
Master  Annesley,  what  news?" 

"  Please  you,  my  lady,"  replied  he  very  respectfully, 
"  there  be  certain  of  Sir  Nicholas  Throckmorton's  serving- 
men  down  below,  who  say  that  the  barge  is  ready  at  the 
water-side  for  Mistress  Elizabeth  and  yourself,  to  the  which 
they  wait  to  conduct  you." 

"  See  that  they  be  entertained ;  and  say  we  will  be  with 
them  anon.  Master  Annesley,"  said  Alice. 

"I  will,  my  lady,"  answered  he;  and  departed  quickly  to 
do  her  bidding. 

"  Bess  I  Bess !  why  how  thou  dost  tremble !"  exclaimed 
the  other,  when  she  had  returned  to  her  kinswoman,  "  Dost 
tremble  at  a  man  1 — Psha  !  Fifty  men  should  not  make  me 
wag  a  hair  of  my  head.     Now  on  with  thy  mantle!" 

•'  Alas  !  he  will  be  ruined !"  cried  Mistress  Elizabeth  very 
piteously. 

"  Then  the  more  goose  he  !"  replied  her  cousin.  "  But  I 
apprehend  he  hath  more  wit  than  to  suffer  it.  Dost  think 
/  would  be  ruined  1 — Nay,  I'd  eat  my  head  off  first !  Come, 
here  is  thy  hat.  Alack,  thou  lookest  as  pale  as  a  Shrovetide 
pancake.  Courage,  sweetheart !  If  it  were  not  that  I  have 
no  inclination  that  way,  I  would  marry  all  the  bachelors  be- 

VOL.  I.  1 1 


122  SIIAKSPEARE 

tween  this  and  Muscovy,  and  not  be  frightened  a  whit. 
Nay,  shake  not  so,  I  prythec,  for  thou  wilt  have  shaking 
enough  soon,  I  doubt  not — seeing  that  when  we  get  to  Lon- 
don Bridge  thou  wilt  have  to  mount  on  the  pillion  on  uncle's 
brown  Bess,  whilst  I  must  ride  before  Diggory  on  the  gray 
mare :  and  then  we  shall  go  trot,  trot,  trot,  to  Aldgate,  till 
neither  of  us  have  more  bowels  than  a  flea.  And  now  thou 
art  ready  at  last." 

Then,  after  some  few  minutes  employed  in  finishing  her 
own  attire — for  her  beautiful  kinswoman  seemed  in  such  a 
strait  that  she  could  assist  her  none  at  all — she  drew  her  arm 
through  that  of  the  other,  cheering  her  all  the  time  with 
many  droll  sayings ;  and  they  passed  together  out  of  the 
room  in  their  travelling  equipments,  giving  notice  as  they 
went  to  one  of  the  yeomen  that  the  men  should  meet  them 
near  the  gates;  thereat  when  they  arrived,  they  found  the 
serving-men  in  their  best  liveries  (proper  stout  varlets,  each 
with  a  goodly  rapier  at  his  girdle),  and  with  abundance  of 
respectful  salutations  from  them,  answered  kindly  and  with- 
out haughtiness  by  their  fair  mistresses,  thus  attended,  they 
left  the  palace  of  Whitehall,  and  proceeded  across  the  Queen's 
Garden  to  the  Privy  Bridge. 

"  Step  in  quick,"  said  a  voice  that  came  from  one  muffled 
up  close  in  a  large  cloak,  who  sat  in  a  barge  at  the  water- 
side. 

"  Father  !"  exclaimed  Mistress  Elizabeth. 

"  Uncle !"  cried  Alice  in  the  same  breath. 

"  Nay,  there  be  no  time  for  fathers  or  uncles  either," 
replied  Sir  Nicholas,  "  I  be  not  to  speak  nor  disclose  myself 
for  fear  of  watchers  and  praters, — so  in,  wench,  and  quickly. 
And  now,  Diggory,  push  off  from  the  shore,  and  help  ply 
the  oars  well." 

"  That  will  I,  your  worship,"  replied  one  with  a  famous 
dull  honest  face  and  yellow  beard,  who  with  a  long  pole 
sought  to  push  the  barge  into  deep  water;  "  and  as  your 
worship  desireth  that  your  name  shall  not  be  mentioned,  I 
will  take  care  it  pass  not  my  lips.  Truly  'twould  be  a 
shame  were  I  not  to  do  the  bidding  of  so  excellent  a  master 
as  Sir  Nicholas  Throck " 

"  Hang  thee,  villain,  thou  would  betray  me  upon  the 
instant !"  exclaimed  the  old  knight.  "  Take  to  thy  oar,  and 
let  thy  tongue  wag  on  thy  peril." 

"  I  am  dumb,  Sir  Nichol " 


AND  HI3  FRIENDS.  123 

♦«  Take  that,  for  a  prating  varlet !"  said  his  master,  inter- 
rupting the  mentioning  of  his  name  by  a  blow  with  an  ashen 
stick  he  had  under  his  cloak,  that  not  only  made  Diggory 
wince  mightily,  but  had  tlie  effect  of  silencing  him  without 
another  word. 

♦' Nay,  father !" 

"  Hurt  him  not,  good  uncle !"  cried  the  cousins,  as  they 
saw  the  weapon  descending. 

"  'Sblood  !  one  might  as  well  be  proclaimed  at  Paul's !" 
exclaimed  Sir  Nicholas  impatiently.  "  I  tell  thee  I  am  now 
neither  thy  father,  nor  thy  uncle,  nor  thy  ox,  nor  thy  ass, 
nor  any  thing  that  is  thine." 

They  now  glided  slowly  and  in  silence  along  the  river, 
keeping  pretty  nigh  unto  the  left  bank — the  serving-men 
straining  at  the  oars  with  all  their  strength — Mistress  Eliza- 
beth trembling  exceedingly,  and  her  beautiful  countenance 
marked  with  a  great  paleness ;  and  Alice  with  her  arm 
round  her  waist,  whispering  excellent  consolation,  with  now 
and  then  such  droll  conceits  as  entered  into  her  head. 

"  Who  be  those  getting  into  a  pair  of  oars  from  the  very 
spot  where  we  took  water?"  inquired  Sir  Nicholas,  pointing 
to  two  persons  closely  wrapped  in  large  cloaks,  who  were 
then  stepping  into  a  boat. 

"  Methinks  they  are  men  of  some  sort,"  replied  Diggory, 
with  a  monstrous  gravity,  who  fancying  the  question  had  been 
addressed  to  him,  had  plucked  up  courage  to  answer  it. 

"  Mine  eyes  can  tell  me  that,"  said  his  master,  drily. 

*'  And  wear  they  goodly  coplanck  hats,  out  of  all  question,'* 
continued  the  man. 

"  That  also  I  can  see  wiUioul  thy  assistance,"  answered 
the  old  knight.     "  I  hope  they  be  not  coming  after  us." 

"  They  are  pulling  across  the  river,"  observed  Alice. 

♦♦  That  is  evident  to  me  likewise,"  responded  Sir  Nicholas; 
and  for  some  minutes  not  a  word  more  was  spoken,  till  lie 
cried  out,  "  but  see,  they  are  creeping  along  the  shore  on  the 
other  side.     Odds  my  life  !  but  I  tljink  they  be  spies." 

"  If  it  please  you,  shall  we  run  across  ?"  said  Diggory, 
*'  and  Peter  and  I  will  draw  upon  them,  and  spoil  their  spy- 
ing straight." 

*' Ay,  that  would  we,  with  a  vengeance,  if  it  please  you, 
master,"  exclaimed  another,  whose  patch  on  the  forehead  be- 
tokened him  to  be  one  in  no  way  averse  to  a  broil. 


124  SHAKSPEARE 

"  Peace,  knaves,"  exclaimed  the  old  kivght ;  •*  Dost  think, 
if  there  be  a!iy  need  of  drawing,  I  cannot  play  my  part  ?" 

*'  For  the  matter  of  that,"  observed  Diggory,  ♦'  I  can  af- 
firm, with  a  safe  conscience,  there  be  no  such  a  master  at  the 
weapon." 

"Indeed,  for  a  swashing  blow,  of  all  valorous  knights  com- 
mend me  to  Sir  Nicholas  Throck :  Oh  !"  shouted  Peter, 

before  finishing  his  sentence,  on  finding  the  aforesaid  ashen 
stick  descending  on  his  pate,  wiili  the  very  swashing  blow  he 
was  speaking  of. 

"Will  never  hold  thy  prate?"  angrily  cried  his  master: 
•'  Nay,  by  God's  suffering,  I'll  give  thee  a  cudgelling  all 
round,  if  I  hear  another  word."  At  this  the  men  said  no- 
more,  but  pulled  on,  passing  divers  noble  mansions  that  stood 
on  the  slope  of  the  Thames,  nigh  unto  the  village  of  Charing, 
Sir  Nicholas  watching  very  earnestly  the  strange  boat,  that 
kept  at  a  good  distance  on  the  other  side  of  the  river,  till  they 
approached  Ivy  Bridge  ;  when  he  commanded  Diggory  to 
make  for  a  small  flight  of  stone  steps,  adjutling  out  of  a  mag- 
nificent mansion  that  stood  tiiere.  As  it  was  high  water,  the 
barge  was  easily  brought  to  the  stairs,  and  then  the  old  knight, 
handing  out  his  daughter  and  his  niece,  pointed  to  thera  an 
open  door  above  the  wall,  against  which  the  tide  was  a  run- 
ning, for  them  to  go  into,  while  he  tarried  a  moment  to  give 
directions  to  his  men. 

"  Courage,  Bess  !  this  is  Durham  House,  and  thou  wilt 
soon  be  a  wife  now,"  exclaimed  Alice,  as  the  other,  seer/iing 
more  dead  than  alive,  leaned  upon  her,  as  they  advanced 
through  the  little  door,  into  a  dark  passage.  "  At  least  Sir 
Waller  Raleigh  hath  one  virtue — he  hath  a  goodly  house  to 
live  in." 

"  To  which  lie  now  welcomes  his  dear  sweet  wife  and 
thee,"  said  a  well-known  voice ;  and  Mistress  Elizabeth 
found  herself  clasped  in  the  arms  of  her  affianced  husband. 

"  Oh,  Waller !"   was  all  she  could  say. 

"Alack,  I  had  like  to  have  been  frightened,"  exclaimed 
Alice;  "but  now  1  see  who  it  ber  I  only  wonder  I  took 
any  alarm,  for  I  am  not  easily  frightened  at  so  small  a  mat- 
ter." 

"Another  time,  Alice,  I  will  give  it  thee  in  good  style  for 
that,"  said  Sir  Walter,  laughingly  ;  and  then,  turning  to  Mis- 
tress Elizabeth,  added, — "  Come,  Bess,  to  the  chapel,  all  is 


AND  HIS   FRIENDS.  125 

ready  ;  my  cliaplain  wait?,  and  lliere  is  no  one  with  him  but 
my  friend  Lord  Cobham." 

♦♦  And  here  comes  her  old  father,  to  see  her  hononrably 
wedded  to  a  truly  excellent  and  gallant  gentleman,"  cried  Sir 
Nicholas  Thiockmorton,  a  little  way  behind  them. 

♦'  Welcome  to  Durham  House,  Sir  Nicholas,"  exclaimed 
Raleigh  :  and  then  the  two  knights  shook  hands  in  a  very 
friendly  manner. 

*'  Thanks,  Sir  Walter,"  replied  the  other  ;  "  I  have  brought 
Bess  here,  with  strict  attention  to  your  directions  ;  yet  had  I 
at  one  time  misgivings  we  were  watched." 

"  Wlio  could  have  thought  of  playing  the  spy  on  you  ?" 
asked  Raleigh. 

"  In  truth  it  was  a  mistake  of  mine,"  replied  the  old 
knight ;  "  for  the  boat  in  which  were  the  supposed  watchers 
haiii  but  now  gone  on,  as  I  think,  to  the  Bankside." 

"  I  beseech  you,  follow  me  then  to  the  chapel,"  said  Sir 
Walter  ;  and  then,  wiili  many  kind  and  soothing  words  to  her 
who  hung  so  fondly  on  his  arm,  he  led  the  way,  closely  fol- 
lowed by  Alice  and  her  uncle,  through  many  courts  and  pas- 
sages, till  they  came  to  a  sort  of  oratory,  dimly  lighted,  fitted 
up  in  very  antique  fashion  as  a  place  of  worship,  in  the  which 
stood,  in  his  robes,  at  the  altar,  the  chaplain,  conversing  with 
my  Lord  Cobham  ;  and  with  a  few  hurried  words  of  greeting 
betwixt  that  Lord  and  Sir  Nicholas  Throckmorton,  the  cere- 
mony was  proceeded  with  ;  Mistress  Elizabeth  looking  all 
the  whilst,  as  some  thought,  fitter  for  a  burial  than  a  bridal, 
and  trembling  wonderfully  ;  but  she  said  the  responses  with  a 
proper  distinctness  ;  and  in  a  marvellous  little  time  she  did 
receive  the  congratulations  of  those  around  her.  She  answer- 
ed not  to  what  was  said,  save  by  turning  towards  her  hus- 
band, and  with  her  beautiful  eyes  swimming  in  their  own  soft 
light,  regarded  him  with  a  look  of  such  infinite  thankfulness, 
that  it  sunk  direct  to  his  heart,  and  never,  whilst  he  had  life, 
was  thence  erased. 

"And  now,  Sir  Nicholas  Throckmorton,"  said  Sir  Walter, 
advancing  to  him,  with  his  arm  fondly  encircling  his  wife,  "  I 
consign  this  precious  charge  into  your  keeping  for  awhile, 
which  I  hope  will  be  but  brief.  1  am  going,  as  it  may  be 
known  unto  you,  upon  a  voyage,  whereof  the  successful  result 
will,  I  hope,  win  me  the  queen's  pardon  for  this  proceeding; 
and  I  know  not  where,  with  such  excellent  propriety  and  ad- 
vantage, 1  could  place  in  safety,  during  my  absence,  what  I 

11* 


12G  SHAKSPEARE 

account  so  great  a  treasure,  as  with  one  from  whom  its  value 
did  proceed.     I  pray  you  look  to  her  tenderly." 

♦•That  will  I,  Sir  Walter,  depend  on't,"  replied  the  olJ 
knight,  briskly.  "A  murrain  on  thee  ;  what  dost  look  so  pale 
for?"  added  lie  to  his  daughter;  "  wiien  I  married  thy  mo- 
ther, her  cheek  oulblushed  the  rose  :  but  there  will  come 
colour  enough  by-and-by,  or  I'm  hugely  mistaken  ;"  and  then 
he  gave  a  very  merry  chuckle,  and  did  touch  her  playfully 
under  the  chin. 

"  It  grieveih  me  that  I  should  seem  to  play  the  niggard, 
Sir  Nicholas,"  said  Sir  Waller ;  "  but  it  must  be  known  to 
you  why  it  is  so  ;  and  therefore  do  I  trust  vou  will  excuse 
it." 

"  Odds  my  life,  man,  speak  not  of  it,"  answered  Sir  Nicho- 
las ;  "  but  if  thou  canst,  come  to  us  this  eve  at  Aldgale,  and 
we  will  have  a  merry  night  on't." 

"I  will  strive  to  bring  it  about,"  replied  Sir  Walter. 

"Art  admiring  my  apparel,  fair  Alice?"  asked  my  Lord 
Cobham,  with  a  great  show  of  gallantry,  as  he  advanced 
towards  the  place  where  she,  with  her  roguish  eyes,  seemed 
intently  scrutinising  his  dress. 

"  Indeed  it  hath  to  me  a  right  handsome  look,"  replied  she, 
very  innocently  ;  "  but  methinks  it  be  a  thousand  pities  it 
should  have  so  sorry  a  lining." 

'"Tis  a  mad  wench  !  'tis  a  mad  wench!"  exclaimed  the 
old  knight,  with  a  loud  laugh,  whilst  my  Lord  Cobham  ap- 
peared as  if  he  knew  not  whether  to  be  offended  or  amused ; 
"  she  hath  a  lively  wit,  it  cannot  be  denied  ;  and  they  do  say 
she  takeih  after  me." 

*'  The  truth  of  which  I  here  do  affirm,"  said  the  merry 
girl ;  "  for  having  many  a  day  helped  yourself  before  me,  it 
standeth  to  reason,  uncle,  that  I  must  take  after  you." 

"  Ha,  ha!"  shouted  her  kinsman,  who  seemed  as  fond  of 
a  jest  as  herself,  "  that  be  a  truth  beyond  all  contradiction. 
Now,  Sir  Walter,  you  take  the  lead,  else  I  know  not  how  I 
shall  find  my  way  back  to  the  barge."  Raleigh  was  whis- 
pering a  few  encouraging  words  to  his  beautiful  wife,  previous 
to  his  departure,  when  he  was  startled  by  a  knocking  at  the 
chapel  door. 

"Now,  Stephen,  what  news?"  asked  he;  going  to  the 
door,  yet  without  opening  it. 

"  Please  you.  Sir  Walter,"  replied  the  voice  of  an  old  man, 
"  there  is  my  Lord  Burghley  at  the  gate,  who  says  he  must 
have  immediate  speech  with  you  on  the  queen's  business  " 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  127 

'♦  Gel  liim  into  ihe  library,  good  Sleplien,"  said  Raleigh, 
*'  and  say  lliat  I  am  dressing,  and  will  be  with  him  in  the  in- 
slanl." 

"That  will  I,  without  fail,"  responded  the  other,  and  im- 
mediately he  was  heard  hastening  away. 

"  Now,  Bess,  my  life,"  exclaimed  Sir  Walter,  catching  hold 
of  her  arm,  "  I  must  be  so  ungallant  as  to  hurry  thee  from 
the  house  ;  for  if  the  lord  treasurer  were  to  get  but  a  hint  of 
thy  being  here,  it  must  needs  come  to  the  queen's  ears,  and 
then  it  would  go  hard  for  us  both."  So  saying,  he  hastened 
with  her — not  witliout  saying  many  endearing  words  by  the 
way,  which  doubtless  were  mightily  refreshing  to  her  affec- 
tionate nature — to  the  little  door  that  opened  unto  the  river; 
at  the  which  he  parted  with  her,  and  her  father,  and  Alice  ; 
who  straightway  proceeded  into  their  barge,  and  continued 
their  journey,  whilst  he  hurried  back;  and  after  going  through 
other  passages,  and  up  a  flight  of  steps,  joined  his  visiter  in 
the  library. 

The  Lord  Burghley  was  at  the  time  a  man  getting  to  be 
aged,  and  of  some  infirmities  also.  His  beard  was  very  sil- 
very, and  broad  at  the  bottom  ;  and  his  face  much  wrinkled, 
pale,  and  of  an  exceeding  grave  aspect ;  his  head,  which 
seemed  to  be  scant  of  hair,  was  covered  with  a  close  cap  of 
black  velvet  (whereof  the  points  came  down  over  his  ears), 
on  the  top  of  which  was  a  rounded  hat,  with  a  fair  jewel  set 
in  the  centre.  Below  his  ruff  his  gown  was  fastened,  having 
the  royal  arms  embroidered  on  the  right  side;  over  which  he 
wore  a  goodly  chain  of  gold,  and  a  broad  sash,  from  the  left 
shoulder  to  the  right  hip ;  and  in  his  hand  he  carried  a  white 
wand.  He  had  sat  himself  down  in  an  easy  chair,  the  which 
a  tall,  thin,  gray-headed  old  serving-man,  who  stooped  much, 
had  placed  for  his  use  ;  and  seemed,  with  marvellous  shrewd 
looks,  to  be  scrutinising  every  thing  in  the  room  ;  and  certes 
there  was  a  multitude  of  things  opposite  in  their  natures,  tiie 
close  approximation  of  the  which  would  have  been  a  marvel  to 
many  :  for  above  a  vast  heap  of  romances  of  love,  and  chi- 
valry, and  the  like,  was  the  model  of  a  ship ; — then,  upon  a 
pile  of  grave  philosophers  and  ancient  historians,  there  peeped 
out  a  portion  of  a  quaint  dress  for  a  masque; — here  lay  a 
theorbo,  and  by  it  a  small  piece  of  ordnance ; — there  a  silver 
tankard,  wrought  with  the  story  of  Bacchus  and  Ariadne. 
Ovid's  Art  of  Love  lay  on  a  shelf,  with  a  jewelled  dagger  in 
it  to  mark  the  page;    and  between  the  leaves  of  Plato  his 


128  SHAKSPEARE 

works,  in  the  original  Greek,  was  seen  parPof  the  gold  case 
of  a  lady's  miniature.  In  one  corner  were  divers  pikes  and 
halberds,  with  a  torn  banner  taken  from  the  enemy  ;  in  another, 
a  mass  of  ore,  brought  from  the  country  of  Guiana  by  a  Spa- 
niard, and  one  or  two  large  shells  foimd  on  the  American 
shore ; — in  this,  a  right  handsome  arbalest,  the  handle  of 
which  was  of  ivorjs  very  dainlil}'^  carved, — with  a  quiver  full 
of  arrows  ;  and  in  that  a  lot  of  swords,  pieces,  and  the  like 
sanguinary  weapons,  resting  upon  a  roll  of  madrigals,  with  a 
leaf  exposed,  having  on  it  part  of  the  words  and  music  of 
that  admirable  composition  of  the  truly  melodious  Master 
Dowland,  *'  Awake,  sweet  Love." 

On  parts  of  the  carved  wainscot,  there  were  framed  and 
hung  up  certain  views  of  the  invincible  armada  being  discom- 
fited by  the  English  fleet — charts  of  the  Spanish  main — 
drawings  of  the  coast  of  Virginia — and  a  right  exquisite  por- 
trait of  Queen  Elizabeth,  looking  wondrous  handsome  and 
majestical,  riding  upon  horseback,  as  she  appeared  at  Tilbury 
Fort.  There  was  no  lack  of  tables  and  chairs  in  the  room, 
but  most  of  them  were  covered  with  such  a  host  of  ancient 
books  and  weapons,  with  here  and  there  a  case  of  toothpicks, 
or  a  delicate  pouncet-box; — pistols  and  perfumes  lying  side 
by  side,  or  a  French  trinket  resting  upon  a  Hebrew  psalter, 
with  a  vast  quantity  of  papers,  as  would  be  tedious  to  de- 
scribe minutely. 

*'  My  master  will  be  with  you  anon,  an'  it  please  you,  my 
lord,"  said  the  old  serving-man,  very  respectfully. 

*'  Humph  !"  exclaimed  the  lord  treasurer,  drawing  in  his 
lips  very  tight,  and  still  regarding  everything  about  him  with 
an  unmoved  countenance. 

"  He  is  but  now  a  dressing,  and  bade  me  say,  that  he  would 
not  lose  an  instant  in  the  cominir." 

"Ho!"  ejaculated  my  Lord  Burghley,  lowering  his  chin 
and  throwing  out  his  lips. 

*'  And  for  a  surety,  he  is  always  to  be  depended  upon  in 
his  word,  an'  it  please  you,  my  lord,"  continued  the  other. 
*'  For  though  I  have  served  him  since  he  hath  been  but  a  boy, 
as  it  were,  never  knew  I  him  to  fail  in  the  keeping  of  it." 

"  Ha !"  cried  the  old  lord,  nodding  his  head  with  a  sort  of 
complacency. 

"  And  when  he  employeth  himself  on  the  business  of  the 
queen — to  whom  be  all  honour  and  glory  in  this  world  and 
the  next,"  added  Stephen,  reverentially,  and  proud  to  be  al- 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  129 

lowed  to  have  speech  with  the  great  Lord  Burghley.  ♦'  I 
have  known  him  to  be  quite  put  out,  should  there  be  any 
let  which  would  delay  him  but  a  moment." 

"  Humph  !"  exclaimed  my  lord,  still  very  gravely. 

•♦  Therefore,  it  be  certain,  out  of  all  contradiction,  he  will 
be  here  straight ;  an'  it  please  you,  my  lord." 

"  Ho  !"  said  the  lord  treasurer. 

"  And,  here  he  is,"  concluded  the  serving-man,  as  he  heard 
his  master's  footstep  approaching  the  door. 

"Ha!"  cried  my  Lord  Burghley.  Thereupon,  Stephen, 
respectfully  went  out  as  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  entered.  The 
lord  treasurer  budged  not  an  inch  as  the  other  approached 
him,  nor  spoke  a  word,  nor  altered  he  his  countenance,  nor 
took  he  off  his  hat. 

"  I  have  first  to  thank  you,  my  good  lord,  for  the  honour 
you  have  done  me — in  paying  my  poor  house  a  visit,"  said 
Sir  Walter,  drawing  a  chair  close  to  his  guest,  and  sitting 
himself  therein.  "  For,  truly  may  it  be  said  that  where  the 
Lord  Burghley  cometh,  he  bringeth  honour  M'ith  him — for 
he  bringeth  the  superlatively  wisest  statesman  of  his  age, 
w'hich  I  take  to  be  the  honourablest  of  all  titles  of  honour." 

"  Humph  !"  exclaimed  the  lord  treasurer. 

"  And,  next,"  continued  his  host,  "  I  must  make  my  ex- 
cuses for  keeping  you  waiting — but  I  made  not  the  stop  any 
longer  than  I  could  help  for  mine  own  sake,  believe  me ;  for 
know  I  well,  that  every  minute  that  keepeth  me  from  such 
excellent  good  society,  depriveth  me  of  more  true  wisdom 
than  a  week's  hard  study  could  make  up." 

♦'  Ho  !"  ejaculated  the  other. 

"  The  queen,  out  of  her  own  bountiful  humour,  hath  given 
me  expectation  of  your  coming,"  added  Sir  Walter,  "  de- 
siring me  to  put  you  in  possession  of  certain  matters  touch- 
ing my  expedition  to  Panama,  in  the  which  I  intend  doing 
the  villanous  Spaniards  great  hurt,  and  coming  back,  fear 
not  that  I  shall  fail  in  despoiling  them  of  the  Plate  fleet — to 
the  exceeding  enrichment  of  her  majesty's  exchequer." 

"  Ha  !"  cried  Lord  Burghley. 

"  The  matter  stands  thus — the  gentlemen  adventurers, 
who  with  me,  have  subscribed  the  necessary  moneys  for 
this  golden  undertaking,  with  her  majesty's  high  sanction, 
have  promoted  me  to  be  their  admiral :  and  I,  desirous  that 
its  good  effects  should  not  fail  for  want  of  a  sufficiency  of 
means,  did  seek  of  her  majesty,  on  profitable  conditions, 


130  smakspeare 

such  assistance  in  men,  ships,  and  warlike  stores,  as  seemed 
unto  me  to  be  necessary." 

♦♦  Humph  !"  exclaimed  the  lord  treasurer. 

"  And  her  majesty,  with  exceeding  liberality,  as  I  take  it, 
hath  condescended  to  promise  me  six  of  her  ships,  well  ap- 
pointed in  all  respects,  under  the  command  of  Sir  John 
Burgh,  who  is  to  be  our  vice-admiral." 

"  Ho  !"  cried  the  old  lord. 

"  For  the  which  we  are  willing  to  allow  her  one  half  of 
the  profits  of  the  expedition,  arising  either  from  the  plunder 
of  the  town,  or  the  taking  of  ships — which,  doubtless,  will 
amount  to  a  sum  far  exceeding  that  which  has  been  gained 
by  any  similar  adventure."  ^ 

«'  Ha  !"  said  my  Lord  Burghley. 

Sir  Walter  Raleigh  then,  at  considerable  length,  described 
the  nature  of  the  proposed  undertaking,  its  manifest  advan- 
tages,— the  number  of  ships  and  men  to  be  employed — the 
officers  engaged,  and  all  concerning  the  expedition  to  the 
minutest  particular  ;  to  the  which  the  lord  treasurer  not  only 
listened  with  his  gravity  undisturbed ;  but  drawing  in  his 
mouth  tight,  as  if  he  were  afraid  something  should  drop  out 
of  it,  he  replied  only  with  a  *'  Humph !"  a  "  Ho !"  or,  a 
"  Ha !"  as  the  case  might  be.  It  be  out  of  all  manner  of 
doubt  that  my  Lord  Burghley  could  speak  right  eloquently 
when  he  chose;  but  he  was  exceeding  chary  of  his  dis- 
course when  he  fancied  it  was  not  necessary  for  him  to 
open  his  lips.  Thus  did  he  preserve  the  wonderful  tacitur- 
nity with  which  he  was  gifted,  throughout  the  whole  of  the 
time;  and  looking  very  grave  the  whilst,  as  if  he  was  taken 
up  with  some  deep  thinking,  with  a  slight  inclination  of 
his  head,  he  raised  himself  from  the  chair,  and  leaning  on 
his  host  for  support,  he  walked  to  the  gates,  where  he 
mounted  his  pony  which  a  serving-man  had  in  waiting  for 
him,  and  immediately  rode  off. 


AriD  HIS  FF.iENDS.  131 


CHAPTER  IX. 

Sir,  you  did  take  mc  up,  wlien  I  was  nothing ; 

And  only  yet  am  something  by  being  yours, 

You  trusted  me  unknown  ;  and  that  which  you  were  apt 

To  construe  a  simple  innocence  in  me 

Perhaps,  might  have  been  craft,  tlie  cunning  of  a  boy 

Hardened  in  lies  and  theft  :  yet  ventured  you 

To  part  my  miseries  and  me. 

BEArMo:?T  AKD  Fletcher. 

To  such  a  place  our  camp  remove 

As  will  no  siege  abide  ; 
1  hate  a  fool  who  starves  her  love 

Only  to  feed  her  pride. 

Sir  John  Sccklisr. 

Master  Francis  was  so  well  pleased  with  his  visit  to  the 
playhouse,  that  when  he  returned  to  St.  Mary  Axe,  he  cared 
not  a  fig's  end  for  the  rating  that  the  old  man  gave  him  for 
having  tarried  so  long ;  and  after  he  laid  him  down  on  his 
humble  pallet  of  rushes,  he  could  not  sleep  a  wink  for  think- 
ing of  the  gallant  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  and  the  noble  Shak- 
speare ;  the  brave  sight  he  had  of  Q,ueen  Elizabeth,  and  all 
the  fine  lords  and  ladies,  knights  and  gentlemen  ;  and  the 
droll  things  he  had  seen  among  the  players ;  and  then  he 
sat  about  building  of  castles  in  the  air,  whereof  he  pleased 
himself  mightily ;  for  though  of  a  modest  disposition, — the 
which  accorded  well  with  the  humbleness  of  his  fortunes 
since  he  had  recollection  ; — yet  the  mystery  of  his  parentage 
sometimes  inclining  him  to  believe  himself  of  notable  descent, 
and  at  other  times  filling  him  with  a  dread  that  he  was  the 
deserted  offspring  of  some  wretched  adventurer,  made  him 
irritable  upon  any  slight,  and  more  proud  than  seemed  be- 
coming to  one  of  his  state.  His  nature  was  very  affection- 
ate without  doubt,  yet  was  he  exceeding  sensitive  of  ofTence, 
and  the  excess  of  regard  with  which  he  looked  on  those  who 
did  him  a  kindness,  disposed  him  the  more  readily  to  yield 
himself  to  impressions  of  an  opposite  tendency.  I  say  thus 
much  here,  to  put  the  courteous  reader  on  his  guard  against 
expecting  too  much  of  him  ;  for  I  am  not  one  of  those  that 
bring  on  the  picture  such  monstrous  perfect  creatures  as  do 
some,  the  like  of  which  hath  eye  never  seen  in  this  world ; 
for  I  put  not  finer  feathers  on  the  bird  than  nature  hath 
given  him.     If  he  hath  faults,  all  the  better, — for  being  of 


132  -   SHAKSPEARB, 

tender  years,  then  is  there  the  greater  chance  that  he  may 
mend.     But,  mayhap,  this  shall  be  seen  in  the  upshot. 

The  cock  had  crowed  more  than  once,  yet  still  Master 
Francis  continued  at  his  airy  speculations — this  moment  did 
he  discover  his  unknown  parent  to  be  of  great  estate,  and 
publicly  was  acknowledged  to  be  his  only  son  and  heir, 
with  the  great  rejoicing  of  a  fine  assembly — then,  all  daintily 
attired,  he  was  a  taking  his  leisure  in  a  fair  pleasance,  with 
his  adored  Joanna,  very  lovingly,  having  his  true  friend, 
Harry  Daring,  in  the  back  ground,  after  he  had  been  doing 
of  a  good  office  even  unto  his  much  misliked  acquaintance, 
Ralph  Goshawk — again  he  was  with  Master  Shakspeare  and 
the  players,  receiving  their  congratulations  on  the  success  of 
a  tragedy  they  had  brought  out  for  him,  which  had  taken 
hugely  with  the  spectators — and  now  he  was  with  Sir 
Walter  Raleigh  in  some  place  of  office  at  court,  discoursing 
very  prettily  on  matters  of  state,  and  bearing  it  among  the 
gallants  as  bravely  as  the  best  of  them.  Thus  passed  he 
the  time  till  he  was  stirred  up  by  the  shrill  voice  of  his 
uncle  from  below  stairs,  abusing  him  soundly  for  a  lie-a-bed : 
at  the  which  he  got  up  and  employed  himself  at  the  neces- 
sary drudgery  of  his  miserly  kinsman,  till  it  was  nigh  unto 
the  hour  he  was  desired  to  go  to  Durham  House,  when, 
seeking  occasion  to  be  sent  of  an  errand,  in  the  which  he 
succeeded  so  far  as  to  be  required  to  importune  one  who 
lacked  the  will  or  the  means  of  paying — a  thing  he  was  oft 
obliged  to  do,  yet  never  had  any  heart  for — he  proceeded  on 
his  way. 

He  had  passed  beyond  the  Temple  Bar  before  the  anxious- 
ness  which  he  was  in  allowed  him  to  notice  much  what 
happened  as  he  went,  or  the  notable  places  in  his  progress  : 
but  as  he  now  thought  of  the  necessity  of  looking  out  for 
the  place  he  was  in  search  of,  he  soon  found  himself  passing 
Essex  House,  then  Arundel  House — goodly  mansions  both  ; 
and  then  Somerset  House  (a  right  handsome  pile),  and  the 
palace  of  the  Savoy ;  and  keeping  along  the  garden  walls 
attached  to  Worcester  House,  he  got  to  Salisbury  House ; 
and  a  very  delicate  sight  it  was  to  notice  these  and  other 
fine  buildings  on  the  banks  of  the  Thames,  with  famous 
gardens  and  grounds  (intersected  by  running  streams)  that 
went  down  to  the  water's  edge ;  then  keeping  Covent 
Garden  and  the  Strand  Cross  at  his  right,  with  the  Maypole 
in  the  distance,  he  passed  by  the  Ivy  Bridge,  and  presently 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  133 

sjtood  before  a  truly  noble  structure,  which  the  passengers 
and  wayfarers  he  had  questioned  of  his  way,  told  him  was 
Durham  House.  In  truth,  it  must  needs  be  a  notable  fine 
building,  having  been  an  inn  of  the  bishops  of  Durham  ;  and, 
latterly,  the  residence  of  the  once  mighty  John  Dudley,  Earl 
of  Northumberland. 

On  gaining  admittance  at  the  wicket  he  was  sharply  ques- 
tioned of  several  tall  servjng-men,  clad  in  gay  liveries,  with 
silver  badges  on  their  left  arms,  who  seemed  loath  to  let  one 
of  his  humble  appearance  have  speech  with  their  master. 

"Ho,  Roger!  Timothy!  Gabriel  I  Thomas!  what  now,  I 
say  ]"  called  out  old  Stephen,  as  he  slowly  advanced  towards 
the  group,  scanning  them  with  a  somewhat  displeased  aspect, 
"  have  ye  so  little  respect  for  our  master's  house  that  ye 
loiter  here  gossiping  together,  whilst  your  duties  stand  un- 
attended to?     In  with  ye,  idlers?" 

"  Here  be  a  stranger,  Stephen  Shortcake,  that  seeketh  our 
master,"  cried  Roger. 

"  And  he  will  have  it  Sir  Walter  bade  him  come,"  ex- 
claimed Timothy. 

"  And  he  ventureth  to  say  that  he  hath  business  with  him," 
said  Gabriel. 

"  Worse  than  all,  he  will  not  budge  till  he  hath  had  speech 
of  him,"  added  Thomas. 

"  And  who  bade  you  be  an  hindrance  to  him  1"  asked 
Stephen  sharply,  after  he  had  sufficiently  scrutinised  the 
modest  demeanour  of  Master  Francis.  "  Have  I  not  told 
ye,  many  a  time  and  oft,  that  when  a  stranger  presented 
himself  seeking  Sir  Walter,  and  ye  had  doubts  of  his  errand, 
ye  were  to  call  mel  Away  with  ye,  knaves,  and  attend 
to  the  wants  of  our  master's  guests."  Then,  as  soon  as 
the  serving-men  had  disappeared  into  the  house,  which 
they  did  in  marvellous  quick  time,  the  old  man  courteously 
addressed  Master  Francis  thus  :  "  I  pray  you,  good  youth, 
be  not  vexed  at  the  churlishness  of  those. varlets  ;  follow  me, 
if  it  please  you,  and  I  will  take  care  you  shall  have  oppor- 
tunity to  speak  with  Sir  Walter;  but  that  cannot  be  at 
present,  for  he  hath  with  him  a  power  of  noble  commanders, 
sea  captains,  men  of  war,  and  the  like,  talking  upon  pressing 
matters.  If  your  business  be  not  too  urgent,  doubtless  it 
may  tarry  a  while  and  no  loss  happen." 

•'I  would  willingly  wait  Sir  Walter  Raleigh's  leisure," 
replied  the  youth. 

VOL.  I.  12 


134  SHAKSPEARE 

"  Then  come  you  with  me  and  welcome,"  said  Stephen. 
♦'  But  let  me  tell  you,  without  meaning  offence  in  it,  that  at 
the  present  there  be  no  vacancy  for  a  serving-man." 

"  I  seek  no  such  office,"  answered  the  youth,  rather 
proudly ;  indeed  so  little  did  his  ambition  relish  the  idea  of 
being  considered  only  worthy  to  be  a  serving-man,  that  he 
stopped  of  a  sudden,  and  seemed  inclined  to  turn  back  and 
give  over  all  hope  of  advancement  from  that  quarter. 

*'  Nay,  take  it  not  ill  of  me,  I  pray  you,"  exclaimed  the  old 
man,  who  saw,  by  the  confusion  in  the  youth's  countenance, 
thai  that  which  he  had  given  utterance  to  iiad  created  some 
unpleasantness,  "  for  all  that  you  be  not  so  bountifully  gar- 
nished as  many  who  come  here  on  such  a  seeking,  I  could 
swear  at  a  glimpse,  you  are  well  worthy  a  better  hap.  Come 
on,  I  entreat  you  ;  and  though  1  be  but  Stephen  Shortcake, 
yet  having  served  Sir  Waller  Raleigh  a  long  service,  and  I 
trust,  I  may  add  a  faithful,  he  hath  of  his  excellent  goodness 
thought  proper  to  advance  me  to  his  confidence,  and  to  the 
ofBce  of  butler;  I  may  without  presumption  say  I  have  some 
influence  with  him  ;  and  if  I  could  do  aught  for  you,  be- 
lieve me  I  shall  be  well  inclined  to  say  a  good  word  in  your 
behalf." 

"  I  am  thankful  for  your  kind  offer,"  replied  Master  Fran- 
cis ;  and  then,  with  an  effort  to  conquer  the  disagreeableness 
of  his  feelings,  he  advanced  with  his  companion  inio  the 
house.  The  old  butler  appeared  to  be  vastly  taken  with  the 
youth  ;  but  his  quiet  pensive  countenance  and  his  tali  and 
elegant  figure,  were  enough  to  have  made  friends  for  him 
wherever  he  went. 

"  Come  you  with  me,  good  sir,"  continued  Stephen  Short- 
cake,  *'  I   will  see  that  your  business  be  attended  to  at  the 

first  fitting  lime,  and" Here  he  brake  off  his  speech  at 

once,  for  coming  to  the  door  of  the  house  as  Sir  Walter  Ra- 
leigh and  some  friends  were  leaving  it,  he  hastened  to  open 
the  gates,  and  Master  Francis  drew  aside  to  let  the  com- 
pany pass. 

"I  will  see  that  every  thing  is  got  ready  with  proper 
speed,"  said  a  very  valiant-looking  gentleman,  as  he  walked 
along. 

"Thanks,  Sir  John  Burgh,"  replied  Sir  Waller,  *'  I  have 
set  my  all  upon  this  cast,  and  so  many  brave  spirits  have  em- 
barked with  me  in  the  adventure,  with  large  portions  of  their 
substance,  that  I  am  exceeding  anxious  nothing  should  be 
wanting  to  give  us  the  end  we  look  for." 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  135 

"0*  my  life,  Sir  Waller,  I  long  to  have  a  liand  in  il,"  said 
another,  of  the  like  pallant  nature. 

"That  wish  I  of  ail  things,  Sir  IMartin  Frobisher,"  answer- 
ed Raleigh,  "  for  know  I  of  an  indisputable  truth  'twould 
greatly  be  to  our  advantage  could  we  count  upon  such  profita- 
ble assistance."  Then  with  many  courtesies,  which  none 
knew  better  how  to  use,  he  saw  them  leave  the  gates. 

"  See  I  not  he  of  whom  mine  esteemed  friend  Master 
Shakspeare  spoke  but  yesterday?"  inquired  Sir  Walter  Ra- 
leigh, stopping  before  the  youth  and  regarding  him  somewhat 
kindly,  as  well  as  with  attention. 

"  If  it  please  you,  I  am,"  replied  Master  Francis,  now  look- 
ing and  feeling  much  abashed. 

"  Master  Shakspeare  hath  given  me  good  account  of  you," 
continued  Sir  Walter,  "  and  I  am  well  disposed  in  conse- 
quence thereof  to  do  you  what  good  office  lieth  in  my  ability. 
I  am  in  want  of  a  secretary.  Think  you  you  should  like  to 
venture  yourself  in  that  capacity  ?" 

"  I  doubt  much  I  am  quite  fit  for  it,"  answered  the  youth 
with  a  very  sincere  modesty. 

"  Of  your  sufficiency,  from  what  hath  been  said  in  your 
behalf,  I  can  have  no  question,"  said  Raleigh,  much  pleas- 
ed at  the  other's  behaviour,  "  therefore  if  it  accord  with 
your  inclination,  be  sure  of  having  liberal  treatment.  Are  you 
content  ?" 

"  Indeed,  I  am  delighted  to  such  a  measure" — 

"  Enough  !"  exclaimed  Sir  Walter,  good-humouredly  inter- 
rupting him,  as  he  saw  from  his  manner  there  was  no  doubt 
of  his  satisfaction  ;  then  turning  to  his  butler,  who  stood  re- 
spectfully at  a  little  distance,  added,  "  Stephen,  see  that  Mas- 
ter Francis  hath  all  things  proper  as  my  secretary." 

"I  will  lose  no  time  upon  it,  an't  please  you.  Sir  Walter," 
replied  the  old  man  cheerfully. 

"I  will  myself  instruct  you  in  your  duties,"  added  his 
patron,  "  but  at  present  you  must  go  with  Stephen,  who  will  see 
you  want  for  nothing."  Having  said  this  very  encouragingly, 
he  went  into  the  house  tojoin  his  guests. 

**  I  congratulate  you,  sweet  sir,"  exclaimed  Stephen  Short- 
cake, as  soon  as  his  master  was  gone.  "  Think  not  ill  of  me 
for  fancying  you  driven  to  such  extreme  shifts  as  what  I  spoke 
of.  I  did  it  out  of  no  unkindness  lo  you,  or  slight  upon  your 
merit,  believe  me.  When  vou  know  me  well  enough,  I  doubt 
not  you  shall  give  me  credit  for  better  intentions." 


136  SHAKSPEARE 

"Indeed  I  am  in  too  pleasant  a  raood  to  think  of  it,"  re- 
plied Master  Francis,  who  was  as  rejoiced  at  this  favourable 
turn  in  his  fortunes  as  may  be  conceived  of  him.  It  was  just 
that  sort  of  employment  he  had  most  inclination  for,  and 
that  seemed  to  give  his  ambitious  hope  the  most  ground  to 
build  upon. 

"  I  pray  you,  good  sir,  follow  me,*'  said  the  old  butler,  "  I 
must  about  my  master's  bidding — so  while  he  is  engaged 
with  the  noble  lords  and  the  men  of  war,  I  will  see  that  you 
have  proper  entertainment."  Then  entering  the  house  (talk- 
ing a  fair  part  of  the  time)  he  led  Master  Francis  through  di- 
vers spacious  rooms,  furnished  very  costly,  and  along  sundry 
passages,  wherein  were  many  serving-men,  dressed  like  those 
before  spoken  of  (some  of  whom  he  reproved  sharply  for  not 
seeming  sufficiently  attentive  to  their  duties),  till  he  entered  a 
chamber  of  more  humble  appearance. 

"I  would  fain  find  you  more  honourable  lodging,"  observed 
Stephen,  "  but  this  being  my  room,  and  one  in  which  you 
are  not  like  to  meet  intruders,  methought  'twould  be  best.  I 
pray  you  put  up  with  it  for  the  nonce — feel  as  content  in  it 
as  you  may,  and  when  all  proper  provision  be  made  for  your 
residence  with  us,  then  shall  you  be  more  becomingly  accom- 
modated." 

Master  Francis  found  no  dissatisfaction  in  the  chamber, 
which  in  truth  was  well  stored  with  comforts,  so  that  when 
Stephen  Shortcake  left  him  with  a  courteous  excuse  for  his 
absence,  he  flung  himself  in  a  convenient  chair,  .and  did  make 
comparisons  with  it  and  the  room  he  had  at  his  uncle's,  in 
the  which  the  former  gained  prodigiously,  as  may  be  sup- 
posed. He  then  gave  himself  up  to  his  own  reflections, 
which  were  gratifying  to  him  in  a  very  prodigal  measure. 
He  felt  like  a  prisoner  that  halh  cast  oflf  his  gyves,  and  is  a 
free  man,  afier  a  long  and  terrible  imprisonment ;  for  he  had 
got  away  from  his  miserly  old  kinsman,  who  had  led  him  a 
pretty  life  of  it — so  far  as  his  remembrance  might  go.  Then 
his  thoughts  reverted  to  his  adored  Joanna,  and  he  for  some 
time  found  very  exquisite  satisfaction  in  imagining  how  pleased 
she  would  be  to  know  of  his  success.  Here  I  must  leave 
him  for  awhile — for  what  may  be  thought  more  attractive 
matter. 

It  was  about  the  afternoon  of  the  same  day  that  a  gallant 
well-dressed,  without  affectation,  of  a  free  carriage  and  noble 
aspect,  somewhat  careless  in   his   demeanour,  yet  evidently 


AND    HIS   FRIEND3.  137 

meaning  no  sort  of  ofTence,  in  fact,  no  other  than  Master 
Shakspeare  himself,  was  seen  walking  up  and  down  upon 
London  Bridge,  now  looking  in  at  the  sh.ops,  and  sauntering 
about  the  houses  there,  with  very  nuich  the  look  of  one  who 
is  in  waiting  for  another.  lie  amused  himself  for  some  time 
witii  regarding  llie  passengers,  whether  of  foot  or  on  horse, 
and  speculating  from  their  looks  of  what  disposition  they 
might  be  :  but  he  seemed  to  tire  of  this  at  last — as  who  will 
not  tire  who  is  kept  an  unconscionable  time  wailing  for  one 
who  delays  coming  ?  and  after  looking  wistfully  several  times 
towards  the  city  side  of  the  bridge,  as  it  seemed,  without 
avail,  he  was  on  the  point  of  leaving  the  place  with  what  phi- 
losophy he  might,  when  all  at  once  his  look  brightened  up 
wonderfully,  and  with  the  pleasantest  air  possible,  he  made 
for  a  very  pretty  woman,  well  and  daintily  attired,  who  was 
approaching  him.  "  Thanks,  my  sweet,  for  this  coming!'* 
exclaimed  he  gallantly,  as  he  took  his  place  by  her  side,  and 
tliey  walked  together.  "  But  in  honest  truth  I  had  like  to 
have  been  out  of  patience." 

"  If  you  loved  me  but  half  as  well  as  you  have  sworn  you 
have,"  replied  slie  in  an  admirable  soft  voice,  "  you  would 
iiave  had  patience  enough  to  have  tarried  here  till  doom's  day 
— and  longer  than  that.  But  I  was  detained,  gentle  sir,  or  I 
would  have  been  truer  to  mine  appointment." 

*'  I  doubt  it  not,"  said  Master  Shakspeare,  "  and  the  de- 
light I  now  enjoy  in  gazing  on  your  perfections  doth  counter- 
balance whatever  disquietude  1  found  in  your  delay.  Truly 
never  hath  true  lover  suffered  as  I  have  since  iliat  most  en- 
dearing hour  I  chanced  to  meet  you  seeing  the  archery  in 
Finsbury  Fields.  Methought  the  queen's  company  of  liege 
bowmen  showed  marvellous  skill ;  but  it  hath  since  been 
made  known  to  me,  that  there  was  one  nearer  than  they, 
whose  archery  beat  them  hollow." 

*•  An  excellent  fine  conceit,  by  my  troth,"  exclaimed  his 
fair  companion,  laughingly,  "  and  cometh  with  marvellous 
good  grace  from  one  who  out  of  all  contradiction  draweth  '  the 
long  bow'  very  prettily." 

"  O'  my  life  I  swear  to  you" — 

"  Nay,  swear  not,  good  sir,"  cried  the  other,  interrupting 
him,  '*  for  that  be  somewhat  more  than  is  required  of  you. 
Would  you  not  take  oath  upon  it  that  mine  eyes  outflash  the 
diamond,  my  lips  ruddier  than  the  cherry,  and  that  my  cheek 
putteth  to  shame  the  blushing  of  the  rose  ?" 

12*^ 


138  SHAKSPEARE 

"  Doubtless  would  I,"  replied  he,  looking  upon  her  fea- 
tures ;  which  in  truth  were  exceeding  comely. 

"And  think  you  I  can  find  interest  in  that  I  have  heard  so 
oft  ?"  inquired  she.  "  Other  gallants  have  I  met  with  wlio 
were  of  such  bountiful  disposition  that  they  v^ould  put  all  na- 
ture into  disgrace  for  allowing  me  to  leave  her  excellences  so 
far  behind.  Was  not  that  liberal  of  them  ?  But  methinks  it 
would  have  sounded  better  from  their  lips  had  their  object 
been  as  generous  as  their  words.  They  would  have  had  me 
believe  myself  a  deity  forsooth ;  but  had  I  granted  their 
prayers,  what  a  poor  idol  of  clay  I  should  quickly  have  been 
thought." 

Master  Shakspeare  said  nothing;  but  he  marvelled  greatly 
at  the  tone  and  manner  of  the  speaker — the  which  differing 
from  his  experience,  made  him  the  more  inclined  to  a  nearer 
intimacy. 

"  Count  me  not  as  one  of  those,  I  pray  you,"  he  exclaimed 
at  last.  "  I  look  upon  you  as  a  truly  admirable  woman  ;  one 
withal  no  woman's  son  could  look  on  without  admiring,  and 
could  not  admire  without  loving  desperately.  Then  as  for 
comparisons  between  your  excellences  and  those  of  nature,  I 
do  assert,  and  hope  to  live  and  die  in  that  opinion,  that  of  all 
fair  things  that  give  beauty  to  this  flowery  earth,  the  loveli- 
ness of  woman  exceedeth  them  infinitely.  Place  side  by  side 
with  those  thrilling  orbs  the  brightest  stone  that  ever  glisten- 
ed in  the  sunbeam,  and  while  the  spectator  admireth  the  latter 
only  for  its  brilliance,  lie  must  find  quickly  that  he  cannot  gaze 
upon  the  warmer  and  more  glorious  radiance  of  your  eyes, 
without  feeling  the  flood  of  life  rushing  through  his  veins  like 
a  mighty  river  breaking  from  its  banks.  The  one  hath  no 
expression — the  other  hath  a  thousand.  And  let  him  who 
preferreth  fruits  and  flowers,  note  the  honey-sweet  smile  that 
playeth  round  those  tempting  lips,  or  press  the  eloquent  soft- 
ness of  those  blushing  cheeks,  and  I  will  wager  my  life  on  it 
he  will  presently  leave  the  poor  unloving  things  he  hath  so 
much  admired,  for  the  rich  beauty  of  such  delicate  flesh"  and 
blood  as  it  is  now  my  happiness  to  behold." 

*'  r  faith  these  are  brave  words,"  replied  his  fair  compa- 
nion. "  But  I  doubt  not  you  would  say  as  much  to  any  other 
that  taketh  your  fancy  for  the  while." 

"You  much  abuse  me  by  that  opinion,"  said  Master  Shak- 
speare. 

"  Yet  will  I  acknowledge  to  you,"  added  she,  "  that  you 
have  in  some  way  pleased  me.     Your  language  and  bearing 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  139 

differ  from  all  I  have  had  acquaintance  with  save  one;  and  I 
live  in  hopes  that  you  are  of  a  belter  sort.  'Tis  strange  that 
you  have  never  told  me  your  name." 

"  Not  more  so  can  it  be  than  that  you  have  refrained  from 
telling  me  yours,"  observed  he. 

"  Mine  is  Joanna,"  added  the  other. 

*'  Joanna  !"  exclaimed  Master  Shakspeare,  as  if  he  had 
heard  the  name  before,  for  in  truth  he  had,  but  had  forgot  the 
occasion  of  it;  *'  and  what  else  ?" 

♦'  No  matter — that  is  enough  to  call  me  by,"  replied  she. 
"  And  now,  if  it  please  you,  yours." 

"  Mine  is  William." 

"  William  what?"  inquired  Joanna. 

"  No  matter — that  is  enough  to  call  me  by,"  replied  Master 
Shakspeare  with  a  smile, 

*'  You  will  not  say?"  she  asked,  as  if  she  was  curious  to 
know.  "Then  must  I  take  my  leave  of  you,  for  I  am  in 
haste  to  return  home." 

"  Let  me  at  least  see  you  to  the  street  in  which  you  dwell," 
said  he,  as  he  was  standing  with  her  at  the  end  of  the  bridge. 
"I  should  hold  myself  but  a  sorry  gallant  to  leave  so  fair  a 
creature  to  find  her  way  home  unattended." 

"  Oh,  if  your  name  is  such  that  it  may  not  be  told,  the 
sooner  we  part  company  the  better  for  me,"  observed  Joanna, 
smiling  in  her  turn. 

•*  Nay,  it  is  not  so  bad  as  that,  believe  me,"  answered  the 
other.  "  In  truth,  I  may  say,  it  is  a  name  in  some  repute. 
But  it  may  just  as  well  be  told  walking  as  standing."  And 
at  that,  she  hesitated  not  to  proceed  onwards.  "Doth  it  not 
strike  you,"  he  continued,  "  that  what  is  fair  in  one  case  is 
honest  in  another ;  for  as  you  have  given  me  but  your  Chris- 
tian name,  have  I  given  you  but  mine ;  and  yet  are  you  not 
content." 

"  Were  you  as  well  disposed  towards  me  as  you  have  as- 
serted," observed  his  fair  companion,  who,  as  is  usual,  grew 
more  inquisitive  the  longer  her  curiosity  remained  ungrati- 
fied,  "  you  would  have  made  no  question  about  the  matter. 
r  faith  it  says  but  little  for  your  regard.  Methinks  you  must 
either  have  an  ill  name,  or  hold  me  of  so  little  account,  that 
you  think  me  undeserving  of  knowing  you." 

"Neither,  o'  my  life!"  exclaimed  Master^ Shakspeare. 
"  Never  met  I  a  pretty  woman  I  so  much  desired  to  be  well 
known  unto — and  as  for  my  name,  I  do  assure  you  it  standeth 
well  in  the  public  estimation." 


140  "^  SHAKSPEARE 

"  By  my  trolli  'lis  liord  to  credit,"  replied  Jonnnn,  lIioiig?i 
the  more  intent  from  wliat  he  said,  of  getting  the  knowledge 
she  required.  Just  at  that  moment  the  Lord  Southampton, 
the  Lord  Pembroke,  and  other  noble  gallants,  to  whom  he 
was  well  known,  came  riding  by  very  finely  apparelled,  and 
pulled  off  their  hats  to  him.  "  Know  you  those  princely- 
looking  gentlemen  ?"  she  inquired. 

*•  It  is  mine  excellent  good  friend  the  Lord  Southampton, 
and  certain  of  his  acquaintance,"  replied  he  :  at  which  she 
became  all  the  more  curious,  and  as  thev  arrived  at  the  corner 
of  Eastcheap,  she  said,  "  Here  is  the  street  in  which  I  live, 
where  I  must  leave  you;  but  your  name  hath  not  yet  been 
told  to  me." 

"  Nay,  let  me  behold  the  dwelling  in  which  lives  so  inesti- 
mable a  creature,"  asked  the  other  very  pressingly.  *'  And 
as  for  my  name — it  may  be  told  in  one  street  as  well  as  in 
another,"  and  they  continued  to  walk  together. 

*'  What  a  place  for  traffic  is  this  !"  exclaimed  Master  Shak- 
speare,  "and  how  busy  do  the  citizens  seem  in  the  differenl 
shops  and  warehouses!  Methinks  I  can  hear  the  chink  of  the 
money;  or  at  least  the  ready  laugh  of  the  chapman  at  his 
customer's  jest.  'J'hese  be  they,  fair  Joanna!  who  are  up 
early  and  late,  labouring  to  the  utmost  every  day  of  their  lives 
that  others  may  have  the  advantage  of  it — whose  greatest 
pleasure  consisteth  in  the  counting  their  gains,  and  greatest 
consolation  is  the  knowing  that  they  are  worth  something 
more  than  their  neighbours.  These  be  they  who  are  ac- 
quainted with  no  virtue  unless  it  be  in  the  possession  of  wealth  ; 
and  believe  there  cannot  be  any  vice  so  abominable  as  poverty. 
In  their  idea,  aldermen  are  on  a  footing  with  angels  ;  and  to  be 
in  the  city  compter  is  to  be  damned  to  all  eternity.  They  will 
wink  at  one  who  defrauds  the  orphan  and  robs  the  widow  of 
her  right,  if  he  hath  done  it  to  some  tune  ;  but  at  the  neces- 
sitous wretch,  who  is  driven  to  do  any  small  villany,  they 
shout,  *  Oh,  the  horrid  rogue  !'  and  would  have  him  hanged 
forthwith.  A  man  who  hath  his  thousands  might  turn  his 
wife  and  children  into  the  street,  and  live  as  sensually  as  he 
pleased,  and  they  would  never  wag  a  tongue  at  him  ;  but  if 
another,  who  liveth  honestly  with  what  little  he  gains,  be  but 
suspected  of  kissing  a  pretty  wench  on  the  sly,  they  would 
raise  such  a  hubbub  about  his  ears,  and  would  seem  so  shock- 
ed at  his  iniquity,  that  the  poor  fellow  should  be  right  glad  to 
escape  out  of  the  city  with  a  whole  skin.     These  be  they— 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  141 

bul  why  slop  you  here  ?"  he  inquired  suddenly,  finding  that 
his  companion  proceeded  no  further. 

"This  is  the  house  in  which  I  live,"  replied  she,  who  had 
not  been  inattentive  to  what  had  passed.  "  But  shame  upon 
you  for  keeping  me  unanswered  !  you  have  not  told  rae  your 
name  yet." 

"  O'  my  life  I  am  exceeding  tired,  fair  Joanna,"  said  Mas- 
ter Shakspeare»  "It  would  be  but  a  charily  to  ask  me  in— 
and  as  for  my  name — why  it  may  as  well  be  told  silling  as 
walking." 

It  is  scarcely  necessary  to  add  that  Master  Shakspeare  was 
ushered  up  stairs  into  the  best  room  ;  in  the  which  he  quickly 
made  himself  at  home,  as  may  be  believed.  Indeed,  Joanna 
found  his  conversation  so  agreeable,  that  for  a  time  she  quite 
forgot  to  ask  his  name  of  him;  but  in  truth  he  gave  her  not 
the  opportunity,  for  as  soon  as  one  subject  seemed  about  to  be 
exhausted,  he  launched  cut  with  another;  and  displayed  such 
abundance  of  wit,  genius,  and  knowledge  of  the  world,  that 
she  appeared  quite  in  amaze  with  wonder  and  admiration. 

"  Since  you  talk  so  well  upon  poetry,"  said  she,  when  she 
found  opportunity  for  speech,  "I  have  some  lines  here  of 
which  I  should  like  mightily  to  have  your  judgment."  Then 
from  a  drawer  she  look  a  paper,  which  she  brought  towards 
him  ;  and  added,  "  they  were  writ  by  a  worthy  gentleman, 
who  doth  fancy,  much  after  your  own  fashion,  that  he  is  in 
love  with  me,  and  pays  me  such  fine  compliments,  as  you 
will  therein  peruse.     Perhaps  you  also  write  verses  ?" 

"A.  little,"  replied  Master  Shakspeare  with  a  smile;  and, 
believing  that  he  had  a  rival  in  the  field,  he  opened  the  paper. 
His  astonishment  may  in  some  degree  be  conceived  when  it 
is  known  that  he  began  to  read  the  very  poem  he  liad  given 
to  Master  Burbage.  He  saw  in  an  instant  how  the  affair 
stood,  and  was  in  no  small  degree  amused  thereat. 

•'  What  think  you  of  them  ?"  inquired  Joanna. 

"  O'  my  life,  1  think  of  them  very  indifferently,"  answered 
he. 

♦'Indeed!"  she  exclaimed  with  some  surprise,  *♦  I  marvel 
at  that,  for  they  seem  lo  me  admirably  ingenious.  By  my 
troth,  between  ourselves,  1  have  my  doubts  that  they  were 
writ  by  him  who  brought  them  me  ;  for  he  seemeth  such  a 
mad,  hair-brained,  wild,  wilful  gallant.  I  have  given  him  but 
monstrous  little  encouragement,  yet  doth  he  go  on  at  such  a 
rate,  one  would  think  lu;  was  in  so  poor  a  case  for  the  love  of 


142  SHAKSPEARE 

me,  that  he  would  be  a  knocking  at  death's  door  unless  I 
smiled  upon  him." 

"  Oh,  the  exaggerating  varlet !"  cried  the  other,  laughing 
exceedingly  as  he  compared  in  his  own  mind  Master  Bur- 
bage's  statement  with  what  he  liad  just  heard. 

"  And  when  I  told  him  I  doubted  his  authorship,"  continued 
his  fair  companion,  "  He  swore  by  Apollo  and  all  the  Nine 
that  he  wrote  every  line  on't ;  and  that  it  was  the  worst  stuff 
he  ever  did." 

*'  He  said  that,  did  he  !"  exclaimed  Master  Shakspeare. 

*'  Ay,  that  he  did,"  added  Joanna  ;  "  and  moreover,  vowed 
to  me  most  solemnly  that  he  was  considered  such  an  exquisite 
fine  hand  at  the  making  of  verses,  that  his  friend  Will  Shak- 
speare, among  many  others,  was  oft  obliged  to  borrow  a  line 
of  him,  when  he  came  to  a  halt  in  his  measure." 

*'  Oh  !  Dick,  Dick,  Dick,"  cried  he,  in  more  a  subdued 
voice. 

"  And  when  I  asked  of  him  his  opinion  of  Master  Shak- 
speare and  his  plays,"  continued  the  other,  "  he  answered 
slightingly,  '  Why,  a — to  be  sure,  he  was  very  well  ;  but  no 
one  knows  how  much  he  hath  been  beholden  to  me  for  all  his 
best  verses.'  " 

"If  he  deserved  not  cudgelling  for  this,  then  am  I  no  judge 
of  merit,"  exclaimed  Master  Shakspeare  ;  *'  but  of  course  you 
know  him,  fair  Joanna?" 

*'  He  hath  told  me  that  he  was  one  of  the  queen's  players," 
replied  she  ;  "  but  else  I  know  of  him  as  little  as  I  do  of  you. 
Tell  me,  1  pray  you,  of  what  name  you  are,  for  in  truth  I  am 
near  tired  of  asking." 

♦'  Hush  !"  cried  he,  "  there  cometh  some  one  to  the  door;" 
for  a  knocking  was  heard  at  that  moment. 

"  'Tis  he,"  replied  the  mercer's  daughter,  *'  and  till  now  I 
had  forgot  he  promised  to  pay  me  a  visit." 

"  Hist !  hist!  Joanna,"  cried  a  voice  from  the  other  side  of 
the  door,  "  'tis,  I,  Richard  the  Third." 

"'Tis  Dick,  sure  enough,"  thought  Master  Shakspeare: 
then  whispering  to  his  fair  companion, — "Leave  him  lo  me, 
I  pray  you,"  he  advanced  softly  to  the  door. 

"  Hist  !  hist !  adorable  Joanna,"  exclaimed  Master  Bur- 
bage  through  the  keyhole,  "'tis  I,  Richard  the  Third." 

"  Go,  get  thee  hence,  thou  crook-backed  tyrant,"  replied 
Master  Shakspeare  aloud;  "  knowest  thou  not  that  William 
the  Conqueror  reigned  before  Richard  the  Third  ?" 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  143 

»*  What,  Will !"  cried  the  other  in  the  utmost  astonish- 
ment ;  "  what  ill  wind  brought  thee  here  !  Oh  !  thou  abhor- 
red traitor,  thou  hast  betrayed  me." 

"  Nay,  ihou  errest  in  that,  Master  Dick,"  responded  his  old 
associate,  "  for  knew  I  not  till  iliis  moment  that  the  truly  ado- 
rable Joanna  was  known  to  ihee.  But  it'  1  had  taken  advan- 
tage of  thy  confidence,  it  would  have  been  but  a  proper  return 
for  the  most  atrocious  things  thou  hast  said  of  me  to  this  ex- 
quisite creature.  So  gel  thee  gone,  and  quickly  ;  for  in  truth 
thou  hast  interrupted  the  infinite  gratification  1  have  been  re- 
ceiving." 

"  Oh  !  most  sweet  Joanna,"  cried  Master  Burbage,  in  a 
marvellous  moving  voice,  "  my  heart's  treasure  !  my  soul's 
idol !  my  angel  upon  earth  !  my  every  thing  !  1  do  implore 
you,  through  the  keyhole  (because  the  door  is  fast,  and  I  can- 
not get  in),  by  that  fathomless  ocean  of  love  I  bear  for  your 
inconceivable  excellences,  get  rid  of  that  villain  straight,  for  it 
be  utter  destruction  to  be  seen  in  his  pestilent  company." 

"  Who  is  he  !"  asked  she,  laughingly  ;  although  she  began 
to  have  some  suspicion  of  who  he  was. 

**  The  very  notoriousest  villain  that  walks,  adorable  Joan- 
na," replied  he,  outside  :  "  he  liaih  done  such  mischief  among 
women  as  you  would  find  it  horrible  to  think  on.  Item,  five- 
and-twenty  maids  utterly  undone — fifty  widows  sent  stark 
mad — and  a  hundred  and  odd  wives  made  miserable  for  life. 
I  do  assure  you,  sweet  Joanna,  that  through  him  there  haih 
lately  been  such  abundance  of  crowner's  quests,  that  the  like 
liath  not  been  known  since  the  memory  of  man.  Indeed,  it 
be  beyond  dispute,  that  half  a  dozen  stout  fellows  are  kept 
in  constant  employ,  fishing  distracted  damsels  out  of  the  con- 
duit, such  a  trailer  is  he  lo  your  dear  sex.  And  as  for  hang- 
ing, the  citizens  scarce  dare  leave  a  nail  slicking  in  their  wain- 
scots, so  many  of  their  wives  and  daughters  have  of  late  been 
found  suspended  to  them,  wilh  these  melancholy  words  pinned 
upon  their  kirlles, — '  Oh  !  cruel,  cruel  Shakspeare.'  " 

"  Are  you  such  a  wretch  as  this.  Master  Shakspeare?"  in- 
quired Joanna,  as  seriously  as  she  could. 

"No,  on  ray  life,"  replied  he,  laughing  very  heartily. 

"  Believe  him  not,  dear  Joanna,"  exclaimed  Master  Bur- 
bage ;  "  he  hath  a  tongue  that  would  undo  the  Gordian  knot; 
therefore  your  undoing  would  be  but  an  easy  matter  with  such 
a  thorough  villain.  Oh  !  incomparably  sweet  Joanna  !  here 
on  my  bended  knees,  outside  the  door,  (for  lack  of  being  in)  1 


144  CHAKSPEARB 

conjure  you  injure  not  your  delicate  reputation  by  talking  to 
such  a  fellow.  Listen  not  to  what  he  hath  to  say,  for  truth 
and  he  are  in  no  sort  of  acquaintance  :  he  will  swear  you 
black's  white,  such  a  horrid  reprobate  is  he  ;  and  then,  on 
the  instant,  turn  round  and  take  oath  it  be  crimson.  I  have 
preached  to  him  by  the  hour,  in  hopes  of  getting  him  to  re- 
pent of  his  viljanies  ;  but,  I  say  it  with  tears  in  my  eyes,  ado- 
rable Joanna,  he  is  incorrigible  ;  and  as  clean  past  all  good 
counsel  as  a  chicken  with  the  pip." 

"  Prythee  go  on,  Dick,"  cried  Master  Shak^'peare,  very 
merrily,  his  fair  companion  evidently  being  in  much  the  same 
mood  ;  "  I  admire  thy  invention  hugely." 

"  Out  traitor !"  exclaimed  the  other. 

"  If  I  had  not  heard  this,  I  should  have  doubted  thou  wert 
clever  enough  to  say  the  witty  things  thou  hast." 

*'  Away,  villain !" 

"  But  since  I  have  known  thou  art  such  an  exquisite 
fine  hand  at  making  verses,"  continued  Master  Shakspeare, 
"  that  I,  of  many  others,  am  oft  obliged  to  borrow  a  line  of 
thee  when  I  happen  to  come  to  a  halt  in  my  measure ;  and 
remember  how  much  I  am  beholden  to  thee  for  all  my  best 
scenes,  I  marvel  not  at  all  at  thy  present  cleverness,  and  do 
promise  to  have  a  better  opinion  of  thee  than  I  have  done." 

"  A  fico  for  thy  opinion,"  replied  Master  Burbage ;  "  all 
stratagems  are  fair  in  love  and  war ;  and  when  I  gave  her 
thy  verses" — 

"  What,  wrote  you  not  the  poem  1"  quickly  inquired 
Joanna,  interrupting  him ;  "  did  you  not  swear  to  me  by 
Apollo  and  all  the  Nine,  that  you  wrote  every  line  on't,  and 
that  it  was  the  worst  stuff  you  ever  did  1" 

"  What  a  goose  art  thou  for  not  keeping  thine  own  coun- 
sel," said  his  friend ;  "  for  though  thou  hast  used  me  very 
scurvily,  I  would  not  have  betrayed  thee  for  it." 

"  Let  me  in,  I  pray  you,  most  exquisite  Joanna,"  exclaimed 
he  through  the  keyhole,  "  and  I  will  say  such  things  to  you 
that  you  shall  be  satisfied  of  my  behaviour." 

"  Nay,  if  you  can  put  on  me  Master  Shakspeare's  lines  as 
your  own,"  said  Joanna,  "  I  doubt  hugely  you  can  be  more 
sincere  in  other  matters." 

"  Pardon  me  this  one  small  fault,"  replied  he,  very  mo- 
vingly, "  which  I  have  been  led  into  from  exceeding  love  of 
your  ravishing  perfections,  and  send  away  that  fellow,  who, 
by  this  hand,  is  the  errantest  deceiver  that  lives ;  and  let  me 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  145 

sec  you  more  commodiously  than  through  the  chinks  of  the 
door,  which  in  truth  afford  me  but  a  mere  glimpse  of  your 
infinite  beauties;  and  if  I  do  not  love  you  for  it,  in  such  a 
sort  as  will  make  amends  for  my  transgression,  then  banish 
me  for  ever." 

"  Dost  take  me  for  thy  friend,  Dick  V  inquired  Master 
Shakspeare,  leaning  against  the  door. 

"  Open  the  door,  and  get  thee  gone,  and  then  thou  shalt 
be  held  a  friend  indeed,"  replied  Master  Burbage. 

"  Well — my  bowels  yearn  towards  thee  exceedingly," 
continued  the  other. 

"  Ah  !  do  they  so  1  Thou  wert  ever  a  true  friend,"  said 
he  on  the  outside :  •'  do  open  the  door,  there's  a  sweet  Will." 

"  But  am  I  the  very  notoriousest  villain  that  walks,  Dickl" 

"  By  this  light  thou  art  a  very  angel !  Excellent  Will, 
open  the  door." 

"  And  have  I  really  undone  so  many  women  as  thou  hast 
said  V 

"  Nay,  on  my  life,  thou  hast  so  good  a  heart,  thou  wouldst 
not  undo  a  mouse.     Open  the  door,  sweet  Will,  I  prythee." 

"  Well,  Dick"— 

"  What  sayest,  old  friend  ?" 

*'  For  thy  consolation  in  this  extremity" —     - 

u  Ah  !" 

"Dost  listen,  Dick?" 

♦'  With  all  my  ears,  excellent  Will." 

"  I  do  assure  thee — she  is — a  most — delicious  creature.^* 

"  Out  on  thee,  thou  aggravating — tantalising — abomina- 
ble caitiff !"  cried  Master  Burbage,  impatiently;  for  Master 
Shakspeare  had  said  the  preceding  sentence  so  slowly,  and 
with  such  emphasis  on  the  last  words ;  and  the  sentence 
was  so  different  from  what  he  had  expected,  that  he  seemed 
terribly  put  out  at  it.  "  I  do  forswear  thy  acquaintance 
from  this.  Nay  I  will  not  remain  another  moment  in  thy 
villanous  neighbourhood ;"  and  whilst  Master  Shakspeare 
and  the  beautiful  Joanna  were  laughing  heartily,  Master 
Burbage  made  all  haste  to  get  out  of  the  house. 

VOL.  I.  13 


146  SHAKSPi^AKi; 


CHAPTER  X. 

I  am  as  I  am,  and  so  will  I  be  ; 
But  how  that  I  am  none  knoweth  truly  : 
Be  it  ill,  be  it  well,  be  I  bond,  be  I  free, 
I  am  as  I  am,  and  so  will  I  be. 
^  Sin  Thomas  Witatt, 

Fraud  showed  in  comely  clothes  a  lovely  look. 

An  humble  cast  of  eye,  a  sober  pace  ; 

And  so  sweet  speech,  a  man  might  her  have  took 

For  him  that  said,  "  Hail,  Mary,  full  of  grace  I** 

But  all  the  rest  deformedly  did  look  \ 

As  full  of  filthiness  and  foul  disgrace  ; 

Hid  under  long,  large  garments  that  she  '^.'■ore. 

Under  the  which  a  poisoned  knife  she  bore. 

Sir  John  Harkingtost. 

Sir  Walter  Raleigh  did  find  exceeding  difficulty  in  the 
setting  out  upon  his  expedition,  for  Queen  Elizabeth,  in  no 
way  prodigal  of  her  means  where  there  might  be  doubt  of 
advantage  to  her,  readily  enough  listened  to  the  misgivings 
of  Lord  Burghley,  who  was  famous  for  keeping  a  tight  hold 
upon  the  treasury ;  and  the  six  goodly  ships  she  had  pro- 
mised, dwindled  to  two.  She  delayed  his  starting  from  time 
to  time,  upon  some  insufficient  pretext ;  and  even  seemed 
inclined,  from  things  that  his  enemies  gave  out  to  his  dis- 
advantage, the  instant  he  had  left  the  court,  to  take  from 
him  the  command  and  give  it  to  another ;  but  such  a  pro- 
ceeding his  associates  in  the  adventure  would  not  hear  of, 
as  she  knew.  At  last  he  sailed  with  a  fleet  of  fifteen  sail, 
whereof  two — the  Garland  and  the  Foresight — under  the 
command  of  Sir  John  Burgh,  were  those  of  her  majesty's 
providing;  and  the  rest,  with  the  provision  of  all  things 
necessary,  had  been  furnished  by  himself,  Sir  John  Haw- 
kins, and  others  his  good  friends — tiie  captains,  soldiers, 
and  sailors  therein  being  men  of  notable  resolution,  and 
of  sufficient  experience  in  such  matters;  but  contrary  winds 
obliging  him  to  put  back,  and  these  continuing  to  IdIow  for 
a  long  time,  he  \vas  forced  to  keep  harbour  till  he  could 
proceed  with  better  hope  of  success. 

In  the  mean  time  there  were  not  wanting  those  who  made 
the  opposition  to  the  elements  assume  the  appearance  of 
culpable  neglect  in  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  in  consequence  of 
which  he  had  barely  put  to  sea  again  when  he  was  over- 


AND  niS  TRIENDS.  ^  147 

taken  by  Sir  Martin  Frobisher  in  a  pinnace  of  my  lord 
admiral's,  called  the  Disdain,  bringing  her  majesty's  letters 
of  i*ecal!,  with  a  command  to  leave  his  charge  in  the  hands  of 
her  officers.  This,  it  may  well  be  believed,  he  liked  not  to 
do — seeing  that  he  had  been  in  so  much  trouble  and  expense 
(amounting  to  a  third  of  the  whole  cost)  for  the  originating 
and  fitting  out  of  the  expedition,  and  was  in  a  manner  con- 
strained not  to  abandon  the  interests  of  his  fellow-adven- 
turers, who  had  put  all  their  trust  in  his  valour  and  skilful- 
ness ;  so,  fancying  he  could  well  excuse  himself  on  his 
return,  he  would  in  no  case  relinquish  his  command  :  but 
held  on  his  course.  Speaking  with  a  vessel  from  the  Azores, 
he  learned  that  Philip  of  Spain,  getting  notice  of  his  expedi- 
tion, had  sent  express  orders  to  all  the  ports  of  the  West 
India  islands,  and  in  Terra  Firma,  to  lay  no  treasure  aboard 
that  year  :  therefore  there  could  be  small  hope  of  getting  the 
Plate  fleet :  but  he  turned  not  back  till  he  met  with  a  dreadful 
storm  athwart  Cape  Finisterre  that  sunk  some  of  his  boats 
and  pinnaces.  Then  giving  such  orders  as  he  thought  neces- 
sary for  their  future  conduct,  he  put  about  ship ;  still  in  hope, 
but  exceeding  vexed. 

It  may  well  be  believed  that  his  beautiful  young  wife  liked 
not  his  venturing  himself  on  a  voyage  at  that  time,  and 
parted  not  with  him  without  infinite  regret,  and  some  fears 
of  the  issue;  for  Dame  Elizabeth  was  in  continual  dread  that 
the  marriage  would  be  discovered  of  the  queen,  whose  temper 
she  had  much  experience  of;  and  doubted  not  that  when  she 
came  to  know  of  it,  she  would  be  wM-ath,  beyond  all  hope  of 
forgiveness,  against  her  husband.  Therefore  went  she  in 
constant  alarm.  Never  loved  woman  more  devotedly  than 
she  loved  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  ;  and  as  she  could  scarcely  be 
brought  to  allow  him  to  peril  his  fortunes  for  her  safety — so 
entire  and  unselfish  was  her  regard  for  him — she  could  do 
nothing  but  blame  her  own  affectionateness  for  having 
brought  him  into  such  a  strait.  Her  chiefest  care  was  to 
deny  her  own  marriage,  which,  she  knew  not  how,  had  got 
bruited  about ;  and  she  made  Sir  Walter  promise,  not  only 
to  deny  it,  were  he  questioned,  but  by  those  attentions  she 
knew  the  queen  most  liked,  to  put  all  thought  of  it  out  of  her 
majesty's  head.  Her  father  and  the  merry  Alice  sought  all 
occasion  to  second  her  endeavours,  seeing  that  it  was  of  so 
much  moment  to  her  peace  of  mind;  but  all  their  cares,  and 
all  her  cousin's  pleasant  talk,  removed  not  from  her  the  con- 


148  SHAKSPEARE 

viction  that  she  had  been  the  ruin  of  him  whose  happiness 
she  would  have  died  to  secure. 

As  for  Master  Francis — never  youth  went  on  so  prosper- 
ously. Sir  Walter  seeing  that  he  was  apt  and  well  disposed, 
every  day  took  a  greater  liking  to  him.  He  would  have  him 
taught  under  his  own  eye  all  gentlemanly  accomplishments, 
in  which  he  had  made  such  rapid  progress  as  delighted  him 
amazingly  ;  and  would  frequently  discourse  to  him  of  such 
matters  as  he  thought  the  most  likely  to  be  of  service  here- 
after. Such  a  change  took  place  in  the  scrivener's  nephew, 
that  he  looked  in  no  way  the  same  person.  He  dressed  in 
style,  with  a  goodly  feather  in  his  hat,  and  a  handsome  rapier 
at  his  side  ;  and  having  mingled  continually  with  gallant 
knights  and  gentlemen,  some  of  his  shyness  began  to  wear 
off.  In  truth,  he  was  as  handsome  a  youth  as  any  of  them, 
though  still  exceedingly  fair  and  delicate ;  the  only  sign  of 
man  in  his  appearance  being  a  slight  moustache  on  his  upper 
lip — the  which,  had  Gib  the  call-boy  seen,  might  somewhat 
have  shaken  his  conviction  of  Master  Francis's  fitness  to 
"  do  the  women." 

The  duties  of  Sir  Walter  Raleigh's  secretary  consisted  in 
most  part  of  writing  letters,  keeping  a  journal  of  the  voyage, 
and  putting  down,  at  his  patron's  dictation,  remarks  on  such 
subjects  as  he  was  disposed  to  treat  of.  Of  this  employment 
the  young  secretary  never  tired,  it  was  so  agreeable  to  his 
humour;  and  so  well  did  he  quit  himself,  that  he  soon  gained 
Sir  Walter's  entire  confidence.  That  he  thought  much  of  his 
miserly  uncle  is  not  to  be  expected,  but  the  mercer's  daugh- 
ter was  a  frequent  subject  of  his  reflections  ;  and  his  last 
interview  with  her  oft  gave  to  his  memiOry  exceeding  satiS" 
faction.  He  had  written  to  her  since  several  times,  and  had 
received  from  her  a  few  letters — the  which,  though  they  were 
in  some  degree  kind,  he  liked  not,  for  they  appeared  unto 
him  scarce  kind  enough  ;  but  though  this  gave  him  no  little 
uneasiness,  he  doubted  not  when  he  returned,  to  find  her 
every  thing  he  wished.  Nothing  could  exceed  the  respect 
and  admiration  he  felt  for  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  for  he  was  of 
that  disposition  to  be  most  sensible  of  Sir  Walter's  friendli- 
ness towards  him  ;  and  his  own  intelligence  which,  for  his 
years,  was  great  indeed,  enabled  him  the  more  correctly  to 
appreciate  the  other's  singular  fine  genius  in  all  things. 

One  evening,  as  they  were  homeward  bound,  they  were 
together  in  Sir  Walter's  cabin,  which  was  pleasantly  fitted 


AND   HIS  PRFEmJS.  149 

crp  with  all  manner  of  charts,  some  few  books  on  choice 
subjects,  and  divers  instruments  necessary  for  the  voyage. 
Master  Francis  sat  writing  at  a  table  that  was  made  fast  to 
the  flooring,  and  which  was  lighted  by  a  lamp  that  swung 
from  above ;  and  his  patron  walked  up  and  down  the  room 
with  folded  arms  and  grave  aspect,  occasionally  stopping  to 
dictate  sometliing  to  his  secretary  which  the  latter  presently 
put  to  paper.  This  had  continued  for  some  two  hours  or 
more,  when  Sir  Walter  stopped  in  his  walk,  and  the  other 
thinking  that  he  was  about  to  say  something  of  moment, 
leaning  his  left  arm  on  the  table  and  holding  his  pen  in  readi- 
ness, in  an  attitude  of  profound  attention  did  look  up  into  his 
patron's  face ;  but  JSir  Walter,  at  that  time,  thought  of  no 
other  thing  than  the  pale  and  pensiv^e  countenance  of  the 
youth  before  him,  for  the  light  of  the  lamp  falling  on  it  as  he 
sat  in  that  position,  gave  to  him  an  appearance  so  delicate 
that  it  clean  put  all  other  subjects  out  of  his  head. 

•'  So  you  know  not  your  parentage  ]"  said  he  at  last,  in  a 
very  friendly  tone  of  voice.  Master  Francis  was  taken  by 
surprise  as  it  were  at  this,  as  he  looked  for  otl^er  sort  of 
speech  from  him  ;  and  his  features  presently  were  clouded 
with  a  sudden  melancholy. 

"  Aught  more  than  I  have  told  you,  honourable  sir,  know 
I  not,"  he  replied. 

"  'Tis  a  strange  history,"  observed  the  other. 

"In  truth  it  is,"  said  his  secretary  very  dejectedly. 

"  I  have  taxed  m)'  m.emory  more  than  once,"  continued 
Sir  Walter,  "  to  see  if  among  all  mine  acquaintances  there 
was  one  whose  name  could  answer  to  the  initials  you  have 
on  the  miniature,  but  with  small  profit.  Certain  it  is,  that 
when  I  was  seeking  to  advance  the  Protestant  cause  on  the 
plains  of  Flanders  under  that  experienced  soldier,  Sir  John 
Norris,  in  my  company  there  was  one  Holdfast,  whose 
christian  name,  methinks,  was  Francis." 

"  Ha  !"  exclaimed  the  youth,  earnestly.  "  Perchance  it 
was  my  father." 

"  I  doubt  it.  Master  Francis,"  said  Sir  Walter,  kindly  to 
him.  "  He  was  but  an  indifferent  fellow — a  mere  adven- 
turer, and  a  sorry  character,  by  all  accounts.  It  was  said 
of  him  he  had  left  England  to  avoid  a  marriage  with  some 
person  of  poor  origin,  whom  he  had  undone,  and  whose  re- 
lations were  like  to  make  a  stir  upon  the  business." 

"Tis  he:"  cried   his  secretary,  in  very    woful  fashion; 

13<^ 


150  SHAKSPEARE 

for   his   heart  was   cast  down,    and  his  aspiring  thoughts 
utterly  discomfited. 

"Nay,  I  doubt  it  hugely,"  replied  his  patron.  *' This 
Holdfast  was  of  so  contrary  a  disposition  to  yourself.  He 
was  given  to  many  dishonourable  practices — a  hanger-on  of 
prodigal  youth,  whom  he  fleeced  at  play  ;  and  a  doer  of  any 
mean  thing  by  which  he  might  get  present  profit.  I  held 
him  in  exceeding  dislike,  and  was  well  pleased,  upon  proof 
being  shown  that  he  had  cheated  a  companion  at  the  dice, 
that  we  got  rid  of  him." 

"  Know  you  what  became  of  him  ?"  inquired  the  youth, 
anxiously. 

"  I  did  hear  he  had  turned  Puritan,"  answered  Raleigh, 
"  yet  I  cannot  say  whether  upon  sufficient  authority." 

Master  Francis  was  now  in  most  comfortless  case,  for  he 
did  remember  that  his  uncle,  in  his  passions,  oft  had  called 
him  "  base-born,"  and  the  like  ;  which  made  him  apt  to 
believe  that  he  was  the  fruit  of  some  low  intrigue  ;  whereof 
the  thought,  to  one  of  his  sensitive  nature,  was  scarce  to  be 
endured.  Seeing  that  his  intelligence  had  been  taken  in 
such  sorrowful  part,  Sir  Walter  did  presently  go  up  to  the 
youth,  and  laying  his  hand,  in  a  friendly  manner,  on  the 
other's  shoulder,  said,  kindly  to  him : — 

"  Be  of  better  heart.  Master  Francis.  If  matters  turn  out 
so  untoward  as  that  your  birth  should  be  of  such  indiffierent 
sort,  mind  it  not,  I  pray  you.  Of  your  fortunes  I  will  take 
good  heed.  But  there  exists  no  proof  you  are  of  such 
descent ;  and  the  evidence  is  not  circumstantial  enough  for 
me  to  place  much  reliance  on  it." 

"  I  think  it  be  but  too  true,  honourable  sir,"  replied  his 
secretary.     "For  mine  uncle" 

"  What  of  your  uncle.  Master  Francis  1"  inquired  his 
patron,  seeing  that  the  other  hesitated  to  say  more. 

"  In  his  anger,  hath  often  called  me  by  such  vile  terms 
as" 

"  Fear  nothing,"  said  Sir  Walter,  encouragingly,  "  'tis  a 
friend  who  listens." 

"Indeed  I  cannot  say  it,"  exclaimed  the  youth,  shaking 
his  head,  and  looking  as  if  it  was  too  repugnant  to  his  feel- 
ings to  be  named. 

"  Well,  well,  as  you  list,"  answered  Raleigh,  raising  him- 
self up ;  for  he  had  been  leaning  over  him,  and  seemed  to 
understand  and  appreciate  his  feelings ;  "  but   whatever  it 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  151 

be,  regard  it  not ;  for  a  bad  man — whicli,  from  what  you 
have  said,  I  take  your  kinsman  to  be,  will  say  any  thing  in 
bis  passion.  It  is  a  certain  truth  that,  in  these  times,  good 
birth  is  ever  your  best  recommendation ;  but  let  not  this 
affect  you,  even  if  it  be  your  mishap  to  want  it ;  which,  till  I 
have  better  warrant  for  it,  will  I  never  believe.  It  sounds 
fine,  doubtless,  to  claim  kin  with  a  long  line  of  honourable 
ancestry;  but  men  that  have  no  other  merit  than  this  be 
like  unto  a  growing  crop  of  our  new  vegetable,  the  potato 
— all  that  is  good  of  them  be  under  ground.  How  much 
better  is  it  to  be  yourself  the  getter  of  your  own  greatness. 
If  you  continue  to  show  that  commendable  nature  I  have 
perceived  in  you,  you  shall  not  lack  opportunity  for  honour- 
able advancement,  let  your  birth  be  what  it  may :  therefore 
I  would  have  you  think  no  more  of  it,  but  the  rather  apply 
yourself  to  get  perfect  in  such  qualifications,  as  seem  the 
most  likely  to  stand  you  in  good  service  at  a  fitting  time." 
Saying  which.  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  made  for  the  door ;  and 
left  the  cabin. 

But  Master  Francis  did  think  more  of  it :  and  the  more 
he  thought,  the  more  he  seemed  inclined  to  think.  His  am- 
bition had  had  a  shock,  from  the  which  he  was  not  like  to 
recover  speedily ;  for  a  notion  had  got  fixed  in  him,  that  of 
all  things,  ill  birth  was  the  most  disgraceful  (seeing  the 
odium  in  which  it  was  generally  held) ;  and  he  could  not 
endure  it  should  be  said  of  him,  that  he  was  the  misbegotten 
child  of  a  paltry  cheater.  His  pride  was  humbled  mightily ; 
yet  did  it  rise  up  against  such  dishonour  the  more  it  was 
cast  down  at  it.  It  seemed  as  if  he  would  not  be  held  in 
such  poor  esteem  of  the  world,  however  degraded  he  felt  in 
his  own  opinion.  He  tried  to  think  Holdfast  and  he  could 
be  of  no  sort  of  relationship ;  yet,  in  spite  of  himself  a  con- 
viction was  forced  upon  him  that  the  contrary  was  the 
truth ;  and  the  fear  he  had  now  was,  that  it  should  be 
talked  of 

In  the  meantime  the  enemies  of  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  slack- 
ened not  in  their  endeavours  to  ruin  him  with  the  rjueen.  It 
may  appear  lo  some  passing  strange  that  one  who,  besides 
being  of  most  notable  excellence,  sought  to  do  no  man  ill, 
should  have  enemies :  but  it  was  in  consequence  of  his 
towering  so  much  above  them  in  all  commendable  things, 
that  he  was  misliked  of  so  many.  And  as  they  who  longed 
to  ruffle  it  at  court  above  all  others,  thought  they  had  no 


152  SHAKSPEARE 

chance  of  it  while  he  was  in  favour,  to  whom  they  stood  in 
such  poor  comparison,  they  strove  all  they  could  to  bring 
him  down,  that  they  might  advance  themselves  upon  his 
ruin.  First  of  these  was  Sir  Robert  Cecil,  whose  ambitious 
aims  would  stop  at  no  impediments  that  craft  could  over- 
come; and  he  was  so  skilful  in  his  cunning  as  to  be  sus- 
pected of  none ;  for  he  seemed  to  make  all  around  him  his 
tools,  to  do  what  he  would  ;  and  keeping  in  obscurity  him- 
self, escaped  free  from  all  suspicion.  His  talents  were  above 
the  ordinary;  but  he  was  ambitious  of  holding  the  greatest 
power  in  his  own  hands,  and  liked  not  that  any  should  be 
mightier  than  he.  Next  to  him  was  Lord  Henry  Howard, 
his  associate  and  sworn  coadjutor,  one  of  a  good  family, 
being  brother  of  the  Duke  of  Norfolk ;  but  having  been  a 
great  spendthrift  and  profligate,  to  the  ruin  of  his  fortune, 
made  him  glad  to  assist  Cecil  in  his  plots  and  devices  to 
oust  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  from  his  vantage — which  he  did 
with  exceeding  craftiness.  In  the  Lady  Howard  of  Walden 
they  found  a  fitting  helpmate.  She  was  a  wom.an  of  some 
beauty,  but  of  no  principle;  and  as  she  believed  that  Sir 
Walter  had  slighted  her,  she  was  impatient  to  be  revenged 
of  him.  Her  close  attendance  on  the  queen  gave  her  what 
opportunity  she  wanted,  and  she  was  only  kept  back  from 
using  it  by  the  counsel  of  Sir  Robert  Cecil,  who  liked  not  to 
have  it  done  till  matters  were  more  ripe. 

To  these  were  added  all  the  envious,  the  ambitious,  and 
the  vain,  who  hung  about  the  court,  and  were  ever  intriguing 
to  raise  themselves  upon  the  disadvantage  of  another;  and 
these  had  already  made  themselves  busy  with  calling  in 
question  Raleigh's  conduct  with  the  fleet — and  not  without 
the  eflfect  they  desired.  It  was  at  this  time  that  whispers 
were  set  afoot  concerning  Sir  Walter's  marriage,  and  many 
malicious  things  were  said  of  the  cause  of  it;  but  none,  as 
yet,  had  hinted  it  to  the  queen.  It  was  now  thought  time  to 
bring  matters  to  a  push,  for  her  majesty  was  in  some  sort 
displeased  with  Sir  Walter  that  he  had  delayed  so  long  with 
his  expedition,  and  had  done  nothing,  as  was  yet  known  of 
him.  Therefore  the  Lady  Howard  took  occasion,  when  she 
was  in  private  with  her  majesty,  to  acquaint  her  with  all 
that  she  knew  between  Elizabeth  Throckmorton  and  Sir 
Walter  Raleigh,  taking  care  to  aggravate  the  matter  as  much 
as  was  possible. 

Nothing  could  exceed  the  indignation  of  the  queen.     She 


AND  HIS   FRIENDS.  153 

was  now  pale  with  anucr,  and  in  a  moment  red  with  shame. 
Every  wrinkle  in  iier  face  was  made  conspicuous,  she  was 
in  such  a  towering:  passion ;  and  she  strode  up  and  down 
the  chamber  with  haughty  steps,  now  uttering  denunciations 
against  her  maid  of  honour,  and  now  denouncing  terrible 
punishment  upon  her  captain  of  the  guard.  Her  attendant 
stood  by,  her  dark  eyes  flashing  with  pleasure  at  the  storm 
she  had  raised,  endeavouring,  by  all  manner  of  spiteful  in- 
sinuations, to  increase  her  majesty's  fury  against  the  of- 
fenders. 

"  Nay,  by  God's  wounds,  'tis  too  bad,"  exclaimed  the 
queen ;  "  they  shall  rue  it.  Their  guilty  doings  shall  have 
fitting  punishment,  else  we  are  not  Q,ueen  of  England.  And 
for  her,  no  disgrace  can  be  sufficient  for  so  deep  an  ofTence 
— a  wanton — a  hussy — a  creature  vile  and  infamous  !  Had 
she  no  shame  1  Had  she  no  sense  of  her  wickedness,  to 
commit  her  villanies  so  near  us,  and  turn  our  palace  into 
a O  !  it  is  monstrous  !" 

"  In  truth,  I  wonder  she  could  ever  look  her  virtuous 
sovereign  in  the  face,"  said  her  ladyship. 

•'  Such  unblushing  impudency  never  disgraced  a  Chris- 
tian court,"  cried  her  majesty  ;  "  it  exceedeth  aught  of  which 
we  have  ever  heard ;  'tis  most  atrocious,  horrible,  and  abo- 
minable !  What  will  it  be  thought  of  us,  if  those  so  near 
our  person  take  to  such  vile  courses  ?  Why,  it  may  give  a 
handle  to  the  malignant  to  say,  we  are  as  evil  disposed  our- 
selves.    Every  hair  stands  on  end  at  the  thought  of  it." 

"  I  am  horror-struck,"  observed  my  Lady  Howard,  look- 
ing more  completely  shocked  than  her  royal  mistress. 

"  Such  shameless  iniquity  deserves  to  be  whipped  through 
the  world,"  continued  the  queen  ;  "  out  opon  it !  fie  upon 
the  age  that  doth  produce  such  vile  women  !  Nay,  and  for- 
sooth, if  things  go  on  at  this  rate,  there  will  be  neither  safety 
nor  honour  for  us  poor  virgins." 

"  Indeed,  I  think  not,  please  your  majesty,"  responded  her 
attendant,  who,  by-the-by,  bore  no  very  reputable  character ; 
"  and  am  I  the  more  indignant,  when  I  think  what  a  glorious 
example  she  hath  before  her  in  your  majesty,  whose  exceed- 
ing virtuousness  should,  methinks,  have  taught  her  better 
behaviour." 

"  Her  extreme  vilencss  was  such  that  it  was  beyond  all 
teaching,"  replied  her  majesty,  sharply;  "  she  was  a  worth- 
less baggage  from  the  first,  who  could  profit  by  no  example. 


154  SHAKSPEARE 

We  are  amazed  she  should  ever  have  ventured  herself  In 
our  presence:  but  by  all  the  angels  in  heaven,  she  shall 
suffer  for  it.  As  for  him,  whom  we  have  raised  from  no- 
thing, we  will  let  him  know,  and  quickly,  that  she  who 
makes  can  mar.  The  ungrateful  caitiff,  to  carry  on  his 
paltry  doings  with  such  a  Jezebel,  in  total  disregard  of  his 
duty  to  us." 

«'  And  so  near  your  royal  presence  too,"  cried  my  Lady 
Howard. 

"  Oh !  'tis  most  intolerable,"  exclaimed  the  queen,  in  a 
fresh  burst  of  rage ;  "  'tis  the  horridest — loathsomest  piece 
of  villany  that  ever  disgraced  a  royal  palace.  What  devilish 
malignity  led  him  into  it  'tis  not  possible  to  say  :  but  he  hath 
done  us  foul  dishonour  in  the  face  of  all  Europe ;  and,  by 
God's  wounds,  he  shall  smart  for  it.  The  ambassadors  will  talk 
of  it — it  will  be  a  jest  for  Philip  of  Spain, — that  arch  idolater, 
the  pope,  will  have  it  preached  from  the  pulpit ;  and  all  the 
wretched  papists  abroad  and  at  home  will  find  matter  in  it 
for  further  calumnies  of  us.  Art  sure  he  hath  married  the 
wretch  ]" 

"  I  have  heard,  please  your  majesty,"  replied  her  lady- 
ship, "  that  Sir  Robert  Cecil  and  my  Lord  Henry  Howard, 
having  got  into  a  pair  of  oars  but  a  brief  space  after  this 
abandoned  creature  took  water,  saw  her  land  at  Durham 
House,  where  it  is  supposed  of  many.  Sir  Walter's  chaplain, 
Dr.  Robert  Burrel,  did  make  them  man  and  wife." 

"  Worse  and  worse  !"  cried  the  queen,  renewing  her  lofty 
strides  along  the  chamber,  while  her  eyes  were  flashing 
with  anger,  and  her  bosom  heaved  mightily — her  wrath  so 
moved  her.  "  He  hath  not  only  done  us  notorious  infamy, 
but,  without  our  permission  first  asked  and  granted,  he  hath 
dared  marry.  What  !  he  thinks,  forsooth,  because  we  have 
shown  him  some  small  favour, — having  better  opinion  of 
him  than  he  deserved,  he  shall  be  allowed  to  ruffle  it  as  he 
please.  Now,  by  this  blessed  light,  we'll  teach  him  some- 
what differently.  As  for  that  Burrel,  he  must  be  made  to 
know  that  to  thrust  his  fool's  head  into  such  a  pestilent 
meddling,  is  not  doing  God's  work,  but  the  devil's.  He  de- 
serveth  to  have  his  gown  stripped  off  his  back,  and  whipped, 
at  the  cart's  tail  by  the  common  hangman.  Such  meddle- 
some priests  are  ready  for  any  villany.  We  marvel  greatly 
that  Sir  Robert  Cecil  informed  us  not  of  what  he  had  ob- 
served of  this,  as  in  duty  bound  he  should.     But  'tis  thus 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  155 

we  are  served  :  the  shamefullest  things  arc  done  against  us 
from  day  to  day,  yet  those  we  have  promoted  to  do  us  ser- 
vice, instead  of  giving  us  instant  knowledge  thereof,  keep  as 
close  upon  the  business  as  if  they  had  been  bribed  into  com- 
placency." 

'*  There  is  a  knocking  at  the  door,  please  your  majesty," 
said  my  Lady  Howard. 

"  See  to  it,"  replied  the  queen. 

'♦  "i'is  my  Lord  Burghley,"  added  her  attendant,  after  she 
had  gone  to  the  door  to  notice  whom  it  might  be. 

"  Let  him  have  entrance,"  cried  her  majesty.  Presently 
the  lord  treasurer  advanced  slowly  into  the  chamber,  with  his 
hat  in  his  hand,  making  proper  obedience;  and  saw  in  a  mo- 
ment by  the  queen's  countenance — which,  in  spile  of  all  her 
cosmetics,  looked  exceeding  black  and  sour — that  something 
was  out  of  place. 

"Be  sealed,  my  lord,"  said  the  queen,  for  this  indulgence 
she  granted  because  of  the  infirmities  of  liis  age.  The  lord 
treasurer  seated  himself  with  becoming  gravity,  marvelling 
much  what  made  her  majesty  look  in  such  sort,  and  pace  the 
chamber  so  liaughtily  ;  and  he  turned  towards  my  Lady  How- 
ard to  see  if  he  could  read  in  her  looks  any  interpretation  of 
the  mystery,  but,  to  the  prodigious  increase  of  his  astonish- 
ment, she  looked  the  blacker  of  the  two. 

"  My  lord  treasurer !"  exclaimed  the  queen,  scarcely  able 
to  speak  she  seemed  in  so  great  a  passion,  and  stopping  sud- 
denly before  him,  "  that  Raleigh  hath  become  the  blackest 
traitor  that  ever  was  known." 

•'  Humph  !"  cried  my  Lord  Burghley,  in  some  sort  of  sur- 
prise, and  drawing  in  his  lips  with  an  appearance  of  the  very 
profoundest  gravity. 

"  He  hath  done  us  gross  offence,"  continued  the  queen, 
*'  He  hath  committed  such  foul  wrong  against  our  royal  dig» 
nity,  that  the  sacrifice  of  his  life  will  not  be  enough  amends." 

"  Ha  !"  exclaimed  the  lord  treasurer,  dropping  his  jaw  as  if 
with  a  sudden  astonishment. 

"  He  hath  had  the  audacity — think  of  the  fellow'^  vile- 
ness,  my  lord — to  be  shamefully  familiar  with  the  horridest 
of  wantons  Elizabeth  Throckmorton  !"  and  then  her  majesty 
continued  her  haughty  pacing  of  the  chamber. 

"  And  in  the  palace  loo,  my  lord,"  added  her  attendant  with 
a  look  of  exceeding  indignation. 

"  Ho !"  ejaculated  the  other,  poking  out  his  chin  the  while, 
as  if  in  wonder  at  the  enormity  of  the  oflencc. 


15G  SHAKSPEARE 

"She  shall  meet  with  her  reward,"  continued  the  queen 
very  angrily.  *'  It  shall  never  be  said  tliat  we  left  such  hus- 
sies to  the  induljjence  of  their  own  wicked  wills." 

"  And  so  near  the  royal  presence  !"  added  my  Lady  How- 
ard, with  sufficient  emphasis. 

*'  Humph!"  cried  my  Lord  Burghley,  seeming  very  much 
shocked. 

"  But  more  than  this — my  lord  !  more  than  this,"  said  the 
queen,  stopping  before  her  lord  treasurer  with  a  look  of  ex- 
treme anger,  and  raising  her  voice  to  the  highest  pitch,  "  he 
hath  dared  to  marry  her." 

*'  Ha  !"  exclaimed  he,  in  a  manner  as  if  horror-struck. 

"  He  hath  held  us  in  contempt — he  hath  put  a  slight  upon 
our  authority,"  saying  which  the  queen  bounced  off  as 
before. 

"  After  her  majesty  hath  been  so  bountiful  a  mistress  to 
him,"  added  her  ladyship,  "I  am  quite  shocked  at  such  de- 
vilish ingratitude." 

"  Ho  !"  said  my  lord,  looking  monstrously  shocked  also. 

"  Where  is  Sir  Robert  Cecil?"  inquired  the  queen^  "  we 
must  have  speech  with  him  instantly.  It  will  go  hard  with 
him  if  he  do  not  explain  satisfactorily  how  he  hath  so  much 
fallen  short  in  his  duty.  We  will  have  none  such  about  us. 
We  will  favour  no  negleclers.  We  will  not  be  served  by 
such  as  can  be  dumb  when  treason  stalks  abroad.  Send  him 
to  us,  my  lord,  without  fail.  He  hath  been  privy  to  these 
villanous  goings  on,  and^  hath  taken  care  to  give  us  no  hint  of 
the  matter." 

"  Humph  !"  cried  my  Lord  Burghley  very  seriously,  as  he 
rose  from  the  chair  ;  then  proceeded  out  of  the  chamber  in 
search  of  his  son,  as  his  royal  mistress  had  commanded  him. 

Her  majesty  continued  in  the  same  humour  to  stride  back- 
wards and  forwards,  letting  out  her  anger  without  stint,  now 
against  the  one  and  now  against  the  other,  but  most  prodigally 
against  her  fair  namesake,  for  whom  no  punishment  seemed 
with  her  to  be  ample  enough;  whilst  the  Lady  Howard  took 
care  that  her  rage  should  not  go  out  for  lack  of  proper  stir- 
ring. Sir  Robert  Cecil  evidendy  had  not  been  far  of)',  for  he 
knocked  at  the  door  in  a  little  space  after  the  Lord  Burghley 
had  left  it. 

"  So,  Sir  Robert  Cecil  !"  exclaimed  the  queen  angrily,  as 
soon  as  he  made  his  appearance  before  her,  "  you  must  needs 
become  an  aider  and  abettor  of  treason." 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  157 

"  I  aid  treason — I  abet  treason  !"  cried  he  in  seeming  con- 
slernalion,  as  he  humbly  knell  before  his  sovereign.  "  What 
ill  hap  is  mine  to  have  such  accusation  brought  against  me  by 
so  good  a  mistress  ?  I  will  be  sworn  on  my  life  I  never 
spoke  or  did  aught  against  your  majesty.  Far  from  it,  I  find 
most  exquisite  delight  in  endeavouring  to  prove  myself  your 
majesty's  faithfullest  servant ;  and  I  would  not  change  your 
service  for  that  of  any  sovereign  upon  earth,  were  I  tempted 
to  it  ever  so.  Indeed,  please  your  majesty,  if  you  take  from 
me  the  reputation  I  have  at  all  times  diligently  sought,  of  giv- 
ing place  to  no  man  in  honesty  and  obedience,  I  would  not 
wish  to  live  another  hour;  for  without  character  I  should  be 
unworthy  to  breaihe  in  the  presence  of  one  so  exalted  in  ex- 
cellence, and  deprived  of  the  pleasure  all  persons  enjoy  who 
are  held  in  such  honour  as  to  be  selected  to  do  your  majesty's 
bidding,  life  hath  nothing  left  that  can  be  esteemed  after  it. 
Let  me  humbly  ask  of  what  treason  I  am  accused  ?" 

"  The  knowing  of  Raleigh's  traitorous  proceedings  with 
that  disgrace  of  our  court,  Elizabeth  Throckmorton,"  replied 
the  queen  with  exceeding  bitterness,  "  whereof  you  told  us 
nothing.  What  they  have  done  is  as  black  treason  as  ever 
was  thought  of — secrecy  was  all  they  required  to  succeed  in 
their  infamous  designs,  and  by  not  declaring  to  us  what  you 
were  privy  to,  that  we  might  have  it  hindered,  you  allowed 
them  to  go  on  to  the  perfection  of  their  iniquitous  doings,  and 
so  become  an  aider  and  abettor  of  their  treason." 

"  Please  your  majesty,"  said  Cecil  very  earnestly,  "  two 
reasons  had  I,  and  good  ones  they  seemed  to  me,  that  I 
should  not  make  a  stir  in  this  business.  In  the  first  place, 
my  knowledge  amounted  to  little  more  than  the  common  sus- 
picion, of  the  whicli  there  was  no  certain  proof — in  the  next 
place,  I  like  not  being  a  tale-bearer  at  the  best  of  times — but 
I  do  stand  in  such  a  respectful  awe  of  your  majesty's  super- 
human virtue,  that  I  could  not  for  the  life  of  me  break  any 
matter  to  your  majesty's  modest  ear  that  appeared  tainted  with 
indelicate  meaning." 

*'  We  do  approve  of  your  reasons.  Sir  Robert,"  replied  the 
queen,  "  so  far  as  to  clear  you  of  all  ofl^ence  in  this.  But  now 
we  charge  you  on  your  allegiance  speak  without  extenuation 
whatever  hath  come  to  vour  knowledije." 

*'  Since  your  majesty  hath  graciously  given  me  leave,  I 
will,"  answered  he.  "  1  must  premise  that  of  their  inter- 
course knew   I  nothing    save   what  was  the  general  gossip  ; 

VOL.  I.  14 


158  SHAKSPEARE 

but  knowing  how  much  the  world  is  given  to  scandal,  I  look 
no  heed  of  what  I  heard,  believing,  as  I  do,  that  Sir  Walter 
Raleigh  is  too  noble  and  discreet  a  gentleman  to  take  to  such 
dishonourable  courses." 

*'  My  Lady  Howard  hath  given  us  good  proof  of  it,  which 
she  had  from  their  own  lips,"  observed  the  queen  impatiently. 

**  Indeed,  Sir  Robert,  I  did  by  accident  overhear  all  their 
infamous  secrets,  the  which  I  thought  it  but  proper  in  me  to 
carry  to  her  majesty,"  said  her  attendant. 

"  I'm  all  amazed  !"  cried  Sir  Robert  Cecil,  looking  in  as 
absolute  an  astonisliment  as  was  ever  beheld.  "  I  marvel  at 
it  infinitely  !  who  could  have  thought  it  ?  How  impossible 
it  doth  seem  that  one  so  superlatively  wise  and  learned  as  is 
your  majesty's  captain  of  the  guard,  should  have  committed 
himself  so  abominably  !  Indeed,  it  makelh  me  afraid  of  mine 
own  honesty.  I  shall  tremble  for  myself,  knowing  as  I  do 
that  if  they  who  have  such  wonderful  store  of  learning  cannot 
keep  upright,  we  who  fall  short  of  such  gifts  cannot  but  tum- 
ble. Of  all  men  few  have  I  regarded  wiih  the  like  admira- 
tion I  felt  for  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  for  in  truth  he  did  always 
appear  to  me  a  most  inestimable  sweet  gentleman.  I  am  hear- 
tily grieved" 

"  Proceed  with  what  you  have  to  say  on  this  infamous  mat- 
ter," said  the  queen  sharply. 

"  That  will  I  without  further  loss  of  time,"  replied  the  wily 
Cecil.  *'  It  chanced  that  my  Lord  Henry  Howard  and  I 
going  to  the  Bankside,  got  into  a  pair  of  oars  just  as  the  barge 
containing  Mistress  Throckmorton  left  the  shore.  My  lord 
directed  my  attention  to  some  one  who  sat  in  the  barge  cloak- 
ed up  very  close,  whom  I  had  not  noticed,  for  in  truth  I  had 
such  respect  for  Mistress  Elizabeth,  believing,  from  her  near- 
ness to  your  majesty's  person,  that  she  was  of  a  most  honour- 
able nature,  that  I  could  not  entertain  suspicion  of  wrong  in 
any  thing  that  she  did,  and  was  not  curious  about  her  proceed- 
ings." 

"  Who  was  that  person,  think  you  ?"  eagerly  inquired  the 
queen. 

*'  That  know  I  not  of  mine  own  knowledge,"  answered 
Cecil,  "  for  we  being  of  the  other  side  of  the  water  could  not 
have  a  very  distinct  sight  of  things  so  far  off.  I  do  not  think 
it  was  Sir  Waller  Raleigh  for  a  reason  I  will  presently  ex- 
plain. The  barge  made  for  Durham  House,  which,  knowing 
the  suspicions  that  were  afloat,  created   in  us  no  small  asto- 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  159 

nishment.  Then  we  saw  him  in  the  cloak,  land,  witli  Mistress 
Alice  and  her  cousin  ;  and  these  three  went  up  the  steps  into 
the  house.  This  seeing,  we  knew  not  what  to  make  of  it; 
so  for  the  satisfaction  of  my  lord's  curiosity  and  my  own,  we 
waited  at  a  convenient  distance.  In  half  an  hour  or  less,  the 
three  returned  to  the  barge  and  went  on  their  way;  and  I, 
thinking  it  could  be  nothing  more  than  a  passing  visit,  thought 
so  light  of  it  that  we  watched  them  no  more.  He  in  the  cloak 
could  not  have  been  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  because  my  father 
did  have  speech  of  him  at  your  majesty's  command  in  his 
own  house,  at  the  very  time  I  saw  this  person  on  the  river. 
Knowing  this,  as  I  soon  found  out,  I  did  not  see  any  wrong 
in  the  visit  of  these  young  women  with  another  person  to 
Durham  House ;  but  my  Lord  Howard  did  offer  me  a  wager, 
that  Mistress  Elizabeth  had  gone  there  to  be  married,  and 
that  he  in  the  cloak  was  no  other  than  her  father,  Sir  Nicho- 
las Throckmorton,  who  had  good  reason  for  seeking  conceal- 
ment, as  it  was  given  out  he  was  like  to  perish  for  want  of 
proper  nursing." 

"  Now  is  it  all  made  clear  to  us,"  exclaimed  the  queen,  her 
face  crimsoning  with  rage.  "  We  have  been  cozened,  cheated, 
and  imposed  upon  ;  and  doubtless  they  now  laugh  in  their 
sleeves  at  finding  us  gulled  so  easily.  By  God's  wounds, 
we'll  let  them  know  what  it  is  to  make  sport  of  their  sove- 
reign." 

"  I  wonder  at  their  baseness,"  cried  her  ladyship  with  much 
asperity. 

"  'Tis  not  enough  for  them  to  do  us  the  foulest  dishonour 
we  have  received  since  we  have  been  a  crowned  queen," 
continued  her  majesty,  seemingly  waxing  more  wrath  every 
minute,  "  they  must  needs  play  a  trick  upon  us  !  We  are 
thought  to  be  worthy  no  better  hap  by  this  false  woman  than 
for  a  stale  to  catch  her  woodcock  Raleigh!" 

'*'Tis  marvellous  strange  how  such  extreme  impudency  can 
exist,"  said  Cecil  very  gravely. 

♦'  Get  you  to  his  chaplain.  Sir  Robert,"  added  the  queen. 
"  He  is  one  Burrel,  in  some  repute  for  his  learning,  and  doubt- 
less may  be  found  at  Durham  House.  Question  him  of  this 
marriage  :  for  we  would  know  if  it  hath  taken  place.  If  he 
answer  you  to  the  purpose,  you  shall  come  away  and  do  him 
no  hindrance — but  if  he  be  contumacious,  or  seem  to  hold 
back  what  he  knoweih — straight  with  him  to  prison  :  he  shall 
there  have  time  to  repent  him  of  his  meddlesomeness.     Delay 


160  SHAK9PEARE 

not  to  report  to  us  the  minute  you  get  aiight  worth  the  tell- 
ing." 

"I  will  be  the  most  zealous  intelligencer  in  your  majesty's 
dominions,"  replied  Cecil. 

*'  My  Lady  Howard,  we  are  for  the  presence-chamber," 
said  the  queen,  and  straightway  slie  passed  haughtily  out  at 
the  door  with  her  attendant,  but  not  before  the  latter  and  Sir 
Robert  Cecil  had,  unseen  by  her  majesty,  exchanged  a  look 
in  which  there  appeared  a  wonderful  deal  of  meaning. 


CHAPTER  XL 

I  cannot  eat  but  little  meat, 

My  stomach  is  not  good  ; 
But  sure,  I  think  that  I  can  drink 

With  him  that  wears  a  hood. 
Tho'  I  go  bare,  take  ye  no  care, 

I  nothing  am  a  cold, 
I  stuff  my  skin  so  full  wlthhi 

Of  jolly  good  ale  and  old. 

Gam:meii  Gubton's  Needle. 

My  masters,  are  you  mad  }  or  what  are  you  ?  Have  you  no  wit, 
manners,  nor  honesty,  but  to  gabble  like  tinkers  at  this  time  of  night  f 

Shakspeake. 

It  was  getting  deep  into  the  evening.  The  prudent  citizens 
had  long  closed  their  houses,  and  many  of  the  more  sober 
sort  had  retired  to  rest.  Nothing  disturbed  the  silence  of 
the  streets,  but  now  and  then  the  riotous  singing  of  some 
prodigal  gallants  returning  late  from  the  tavern,  with  more 
wine  in  their  pates  than  wit,  with  perchance,  the  hoarse 
bawling  of  some  of  the  city  watch,  chiding  them  for  dis- 
turbing the  night  with  their  caterwauling;  or  mayhap,- a 
score  of  disorderly  apprentices  for  the  sake  of  diversion 
screaming  fire,  murder,  and  the  like,  from  different  places, 
till  the  whole  neighbourhood  was  in  an  uproar,  and  the 
watch  running  to  and  fro  in  strange  perplexity  as  to 
where  w^as  the  mischief  Now  you  might  hear  some  par- 
ticular clock  striking  the  hour,  and  anon  there  was  such  a 
striking  from  all  parts  that  it  seemed  as  if  there  would  be  no 
end  to  it ;  like  unto  when  chanticleer  croweth  in  the  early 
morning,  there  answereth  to  him  another,  and  he  is  taken 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  IGl 

up  by  a  third,  and  so  on  till  the  whole  of  the  cocks  round 
about  have  tried  the  strength  of  their  voices. 

So  it  fared  in  the  city,  and  in  Eastcheap  more  especially — 
which  of  all  places  wr's  most  noted  for  mad  pranks  and 
merry  doings ;  but  whilst  such  goings  on  proceeded  outside, 
the  little  back  parlour  of  Geoffrey  Sarsnet  the  mercer,  as 
oft  did  echo  with  a  very  similar  merriment.  There  he  sat 
before  an  oak  table  having  on  it  a  bowl  and  drinking  horns, 
looking  very  portly  in  a  buff  jerkin  ;  a  jolly  face  and  a  merry 
eye  seeming  to  mock  the  gravity  of  his  gray  beard  and  bald 
pate ;  and  a  loud  short  laugh  bursting  from  his  mouth  ever 
and  anon,  said  plain  enough,  of  all  conscience,  that  his 
thoughts  were  none  of  the  saddest.  Opposite  to  him,  in 
singular  fine  contrast,  sat  the  meagre  form  of  the  miser  of 
St.  Mary  Axe,  who,  by  the  complacency  of  his  withered 
aspect  had  evidently  forgiven  Joanna  the  loss  of  the  Venetian 
chain. 

"  Margery !  Margery  !"  bawled  the  mercer,  after  he  had 
looked  into  the  bowl  and  found  it  empty  of  liquor.  *'  By 
cock  and  pye,  I'm  no  lover  of  jolly  good  ale  and  old,  if  we 
hav'n't  drained  it  as  dry  as — as  dry  as  thy  wit,  thou  ghost 
of  a  pickled  herring.     Haw  !  haw  !  haw  I" 

"  Forsooth,  thou  art  in  a  most  facetious  vein  gossip," 
replied  Gregory  Vellum,  who  cared  not  for  being  laughed  at 
when  he  had  aught  to  gain  by  joining  in  the  mirth. 

"  If  I  be  not  in  the  vein  the  vein  be  in  me,"  said  the  jolly 
mercer,  with  another  laugh  as  loud  as  the  preceding. 
"  Here,  Margery,"  cried  he  again  ;  then  sinking  his  voice, 
added,  "  Hang  these  old  women,  say  I !  They  be  as  deaf 
as  thy  conscience,  and  as  slow  as  thy  comprehension.  Is't 
not  so,  thou  delectable  pippin-face  3" 

*'  In  truth,  they  be  exceedingly  deaf  and  slow,"  answered 
the  scrivener,  with  a  wonderful  gravity. 

•'  The  young  ones  for  me — ey,  Gregory,"  continued  the 
old  fellow,  with  a  knowing  wink  of  his  eye.  ♦'  They  have 
ears  for  any  thing ;  and  as  for  going,  I  doubt  them  not,  at 
an  ambling  pace,  they  would  beat  any  colt  that  runs.  Haw  ! 
haw  !  haw  !     Why,  Margery,  I  say." 

"How,  now? — what  do  you  lack,  sweet  master?"  ex- 
claimed a  little  old  woman  with  a  very  pointed  nose  and 
chin,  and  sharp  gray  eyes,  who  appeared  at  the  door. 

*•  Another   bowl,   Margery !"    replied    Geoffrey    Sarsnet. 

14* 


162  SHAKSrEARE 

"And,  prytliec,  brew  it  delicately,  with  good  store  of  nutmeg 
and  a  famous  toast  in  it." 

"  That  will  I,  kind  heart,  and  quickly,"  answered  the  old 
dame,  fetching  the  empty  vessel. 

"  I'faith,  Margery,  thou  lookest  as  innocent  as  a  sucking 
donkey,"  said  the  jolly  mercer,  with  his  usual  laugh,  as  he 
gazed  upon  her  uncomely  face. 

"  An't  please  your  goodness,  I  was  always  noticed  for  the 
innocency  of  my  looks,"  replied  the  old  dame  very  demurely. 

"  1  doubt  it  not,"  cried  her  master  ;  ♦'  and  thine  innocency 
was  always  respected,  I'll  be  bound  for  it.  Haw  !  haw  ! 
haw !" 

"Indeed,  you  may  say  that,"  responded  she.  "  For  it  is 
a  most  notable  truth  that  no  longer  ago  than  five-and-twenty 
year  last  Martinmas — " 

"  Thou  must  then  have  seen  a  good  forty  years  at  least — 
an  excellent  fine  age  of  innocency ;"  and  then  the  old  fellow 
chuckled  again  mightily. 

"  Fie  on  you  for  saying  so,  and  I  not  fifty  yet !"  said 
Margery,  her  yellow  physiognomy  blushing  with  indignation 
at  such  an  insinuation  of  her  antiquity — the  which,  however, 
was  no  great  way  from  the  truth.  "  No  longer  ago  than 
five-and-twenty  year  last  Martinmas — " 

"  Thou  wert  put  in  the  stocks  for  a  wanton — an  excellent 
fine  proof  of  innocency,  o'  my  life!  Haw!  haw!  haw!" 
And  then  he  gave  the  table  a  slap  that  made  the  horns  jump 
again. 

"  What  I !  I  that  have  ever  been  the  discreetest  and  vir- 
tuousest  of  virgins  !"  exclaimed  the  old  woman,  in  a  seeming 
monstrous  to-do.  "  I'll  be  put  upon  my  oath  I  was  never 
put  in  the  stocks." 

"  Well,  thou  hast  had  exceeding  good  luck,  then,"  replied 
the  mercer,  winking  at  his  companion,  and  endeavouring  to 
keep  a  grave  face ;  but  he  succeeded  not,  for  he  presently 
burst  out  in  the  short  loud  laugh  as  at  first. 

'*  Nay,  I'll  tarry  not  to  be  made  game  of,"  cried  she  some- 
what sulkily  ;  an'A  thereupon  hurried  out  of  the  room. 

♦'  Mayhap,  if  she  tarry  to  be  made  game  of,  then  should 
none  hurry  to  put  her  on  the  spit.  Haw  !  haw  !  haw  !" 
shouted  her  master,  his  eyes  twinkling  very  merrily  at  the 
conceit. 

"  Methinks  it  would  be  but  barbarous  to  make  a  roast  of 
lier,"  observed  the  scrivener,  with  a  perfect  seriousness. 
"  And  indeed  she  seeraeth  not  very  delicate  eating." 


AND  Ills  FRIENDS.  1  G3 

*♦  No  more  delicate  eating  than  thou  art ;  and  I  doubt  not 
to  find  more  juice  in  the  fag-end  of  a  piece  of  dowlas  than 
tiiou  canst  boast  of  in  tiiy  whole  body,"  replied  the  mercer, 
who  being  of  a  well-fed  person  himself,  held  the  other's  lank- 
ness  in  seeming  contempt.  "  But  what  sayest  thou  to  a  dainty 
young  wench  of  some  sixteen  years  or  so — fresh  and  plump 
and  tender  as  a  chicken  ?  Doth  not  thy  mouth  water  at  such 
fare — ey,  Gregory  ?" 

"  In  honest  truth,  I  have  no  stomach  for  human  flesh,"  an- 
swered the  scrivener. 

"  Out  on  thee  for  a  dull  wit!"  exclaimed  the  other.  "  I'll 
be  hanged  if  thou  hast  more  brains  than  a  roast  chestnut.'  But 
as  thou  canst  not  entertain  me  with  thy  discourse,  see  if  ihou 
canst  tune  up  thy  pipe  for  a  song.    A  song,  a  song,  Gregory  1" 

*'  Believe  me,  I  have  forgotten  every  tune  but  one,"  said 
the  miser  of  St.  Mary  Axe  in  very  serious  fashion,  "and  that 
be  the  hundredth  psalm." 

*'  Psalm  me  no  psalms  i  Dost  take  me  for  a  puritan  V 
cried  the  jolly  mercer. 

"  Nay,  but  it  be  an  excellent  sober  tune,  Geoffrey  Sarsnet." 

"  Then  shall  it  be  the  most  unfit  tune  in  the  world  over  a 
full  bowl.  Haw  !  haw  !  haw  l"  shouted  his  companion  in  the 
same  merry  key  as  at  first. 

♦'  Melhinks  I  know  of  none  other,"  said  Gregory  Vellum. 

*' Then  ale  of  mine  shalt  thou  never  taste  till  thou  hast  be- 
thought thee  of  something  more  to  the  purpose.  So  look  to 
thy  memory,  and  quickly." 

*'  I  do  remember  me  there  was  a  song  I  did  use  to  afTect  in 
an  idle  hour  when  I  was  but  an  apprentice,"  observed  the 
scrivener. 

"  Prythee,  then,  out  with  it !"  exclaimed  the  other. 

*'  Indeed,  I  have  no  voice  for  singing,  gossip.  Hem ! 
hem  !"  and  then  the  old  fellow  began  to  clear  his  throat  very 
diligently,  looking,  or  rather  striving  to  look,  exceeding  modest 
all  the  time. 

"I  have  asked  thee  not  to  sing  with  any  other  voice  than 
thine  own  ;  so  I  must  needs  make  the  best  of  it,"  replied  the 
jolly  mercer  very  merrily. 

"  Hem,  hem  !" 

*'  Nay,  I  would  as  lief  sit  with  a  tailor  as  with  one  that 
doth  nothing  but '  hem,'  "  said  his  companion  with  a  laugh  as 
loud  as  ever. 

'*  I  will  fall  to  it  as  well  as  I  may,"  replied  the  scrivener. 


164  SHAK5PEARE 

Then  turning  up  his  eyes  to  the  ceiling,  began  in  a  wonderful 
shrill  trembling  pipe — 

"  When  little  birds  sat  on  their  nests— 

"  Nay,  but  good  gossip,  I  be  not  in  most  excellent  voice,** 
said  he,  ere  he  had  got  any  further.     "  Hem,  hem." 

*'  It  wants  no  conjuror  to  tell  me  that,"  answered  his  com- 
panion with  a  chuckle.  "  But  not  a  drop  of  my  good  ale 
shall  moisten  thy  throat  if  thou  dost  not  sing  me  the  song  be- 
fore it  be  brought  in." 

"  Hera,  hem  !"  repeated  the  other  quickly,  for  he  had  no 
objection  to  any  good  thing  at  another's  expense.  Then  with 
a  lack-a-daisical  look,  the  like  of  which  it  is  impossible  to 
conceive,  he  recommenced — 

**  When  little  birds  sat  on  their  nests, 
And  conies  to  the  young-  wheat  hied  ; 
And  flowers  hung  down  their  dainty  crests, 
And  Philomel  her  sweet  trade  plied. 
*  With  my  heigh-ho  ! 
Whether  or  no, 
Kiss  me  but  once  before  I  go, 
Under  the  tree  where  the  pippins  grow.'" 

*'I  say  nothing  against  the  matter  of  thy  ballad,"  here  in- 
terposed the  mercer  ;  "  for  it  be  as  exquisite  foolish  stuff  as 
heart  can  desire;  but  if  thou  art  not  singing  it  to  the  hun- 
dredth psalm  then  never  gave  I  honest  measure." 

♦''Tis  very  like,"  replied  the  old  raiser  gravely ;  "for  I  did 
tell  thee  I  knew  of  no  other  tune." 

"  I'll  have  none  on't.  So  look  that  thou  sing  the  proper 
notes."  At  this,  with  a  preliminary  hem  or  two,  Gregory 
Vellum  did  essay  the  second  verse,  much  after  the  same  die- 
away  fashion  as  at  first. 

"'Twas  then  a  lover  and  his  lass. 

Her  rosy  cheek  with  his  acquaint — " 

**  Thou  art  at  the  psalm  again,  and  be  hanged  to  thee  !** 
here  exclaimed  his  companion. 

"Indeed  then  I  knew  it  not;  but  I  will  take  good  heed 
I  fall  no  more  in  that  strain."  And  then  he  continued  his 
ballad. 

"Had  set  them  on  the  tender  grass  ; 

Whilst  he  thus  fondly  made  his  plaint. 


AND  HIS  riUENDS.  165 

*  Singing  heigh-ho  ! 
Whether  or  no, 
Kiss  me  again  before  I  go. 
Under  the  tree  where  the  pippins  grow.'  " 

"  Thou  art  clean  past  all  hope,"  cried  Geoffrey  Sarsnet. 
*'  For  lo  one  note  of  the  ballad  ihou  hast  given  a  score  of  the 
hundredth  psalm." 

"Ah,  did  I  Fo  ?  then  in  truth  it  did  escape  me  unawares," 
replied  the  other,  and  resumed  his  diity,  the  first,  two  or  lliree 
notes  of  the  which  seemed  of  a  fitting  tune  ;  but  the  rest  was 
the  psalm  beyond  all  possibility  of  conlradiciiou. 

**  He  kissed  her  once,  he  kissed  her  twice. 
Though  oft  she  coyly  said  him  nay  ; 
Mayhap  she  had  him  kiss  her  thrice, 
Before  she  let  him  get  away. 
'  Singing  heigh-ho  ! 
"Whether  or  no, 
Kiss  me  again  before  you  go, 
Under  the  tree  where  the  pippins  grow.'  " 

'♦  Odds,  my  life  !  thou  hast  no  more  notes  in  thy  voice  than 
hath  a  cuckoo,  who  singeth  the  same  sorry  tune  ever,"  said 
the  jolly  mercer.  "  But  here  comes  the  bowl,"  he  added, 
seeing  Margery  enter  with  it  in  her  hands,  and  place  it  before 
him. 

"Ay,  marry  does  it,"  said  the  old  woman,  all  trace  of  her 
late  displeasure  having  vanished;  "  and  there  is  in  it  as  fine  a 
roasted  crab  as  heart  could  wish  for,  with  store  of  all  proper 
things." 

"  By  cock  and  pye,  so  there  is  !"  exclaimed  her  master, 
gloating  over  it  with  his  rosy  face,  and  snifilng  up  the  spicy 
steam  with  wonderful  satisfaction,  "  Now  will  I  believe, 
Margery,  all  that  thou  hast  said  of  thy  exceeding  virtue  :  nay, 
more,  looking  into  thy  face,  I  couhl  lake  upon  me  lo  swear 
with  a  safe  conscience,  that  thou  hast  never  had  a  lover  in  ihy 
life."     And  thereupon  he  again  burst  out  a  laughing. 

"  Nay,  you  are  wrong  there,  kind  heart,"  replied  Margery, 
with  great  coi!thlaccncy,  "  1  have  had  no  lack  of  lovers  in  my 
time,  I  warrant  you.  For,  as  I  was  a  saying  but  now,  it  was 
just  five-and-lwenty  years  hist  Martinmas" 

"  Since  thou  wert  taken  up  by  the  constable  on  evidence 
that  thou  wen  like  to  become  chargeable  to  the  parish  :  a  sin- 


166  SHAKSPEARE 

gular  fine  proof  that  thou  hast  had  lovers,  sure  enough.  Haw  ! 
haw  !  haw  !"  I'hereat  he  slapped  the  table  so  hard,  that  it 
did  overturn  one  of  the  drinking  horns  he  had  just  filled. 

The  old  dame  answered  not,  save  by  bouncing  out  of  the 
room  more  angry  than  before. 

"  Mind  it  not,  Gregory  !"  exclaimed  the  jolly  mercer,  as 
he  beheld  his  companion  trying  to  save  the  ale,  by  catching 
it  in  the  empty  horn,  as  it  run  through  the  chinks  of  the 
table. 

"  It  be  a  shame  to  let  such  good  liquor  run  to  waste,  gos- 
sip," he  replied. 

**  'Twould  have  been  all  the  same  hadst  thou  swallowed 
it,"  observed  the  other;  "  for  to  give  it  thee  is  to  waste  it  in- 
deed ;  because  thou  dost  never  look  the  better  for  it.  Here — 
hand  up  thy  cannikin — though,  in  truth,  thou  deservest  not  to 
partake  of  such  brave  stuff,  seeing  that  thou  didst  make  such 
a  miserable  hand  at  thy  ditty." 

*'  To  tell  thee  the  exact  truth,"  said  the  old  miser  very  ear- 
nestly, "  though  I  have,  at  divers  times,  essayed  many  dif- 
ferent songs,  somehow  or  another,  yet  know  I  not  why,  I 
never  could  find  any  other  tune  for  them  but  the  hundredth 
psalm." 

"  Then  art  thou  but  a  goose  at  singing,"  replied  his  compa- 
nion, finishing  a  draught  of  the  good  liquor  before  him,  which 
by  the  smacking  of  his  lips,  seemed  to  please  his  palate 
mightily,  "  but  I  will  troll  thee  a  song,  Gregory,  and  one 
worthy  to  be  mated  with  such  right  exquisite  tipple  as  this." 

"  'Tis  famous  drinking,  indeed  !"  remarked  the  scrivener, 
after  a  hearty  draught  of  the  same  ;  "  and  the  singing,  I  doubt 
not,  will  match  it." 

"Thou  shalt  judge,"  said  the  other;  then,  with  a  full 
round  voice,  and  in  a  very  jovial  manner,  he  did  give  out  the 
following  strain. 

*•  I  never  had  a  voice  for  a  song"  that's  choice, 

And  dainty  ditties  with  me  must  fail  : 

Yet,  weeks  at  a  time,  I  fain  would  chime, 

VVhenever  I  strike  up  in  the  praise  of  good  ale. 
Then  troul  troul,  -^ 

Each  hearty  old  soul, 
That  loveth  the  sight  of  a  foaming-  bowl ; 
For  there's  naught  in  the  land 
He  should  care  to  command. 
Who  hath  g-ot  such  brave  liquor  as  this  at  his  hand. 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  167 

Full  oft  to  the  great  have  I  held  my  prate — 

But  when  1  have  had  good  ale  enow, 
I  be  not  afeard  to  wag  my  beard 

With  any  woman's  son,  be  he  high  or  low. 
Then  troul,  troul,  &c. 

Perchance  I  am  shy,  when  a  woman  is  by — 

Yet  if  but  good  ale  my  jerkin  line, 
Wife,  widow,  or  maid — in  sun  or  shade, 
'Ere  an  hour  may  have  passed  shall  have  sworn  herself  mine. 
Then  troul,  troul,  &,c. 

Mayhap  I've  no  store  of  the  sage's  lore — 

But  when  some  good  ale  is  in  my  pate, 
I'faith  I  can  speak  in  Dutch  or  Greek, 

And  argue  a  whole  college  as  dumb  as  their  gate. 
Then  troul,  troul,  &c. 

It  may  be  from  fright  I  would  run  than  fight — 
Yet  when  with  good  ale  beneath  my  skin. 

With  sword  or  wnth  lance  will  I  advance. 

And  leagured  by  my  foes,  cut  through  thick  and  thin. 
Then  troul,  troul,  &c. 

'Twill  needs  be  my  hap  to  have  not  a  rap — 
But  when  that  good  ale  hath  warmed  my  veins, 

There  be  none  like  myself,  so  rich  in  pelf — 

For  ne'er  can  I  count  up  the  whole  of  my  gains. 
Then  troul,  troul,  &c. 

I'm  nigh  unto  death,  for  the  lack  of  breath- 
Yet  if  of  good  ale  I  am  not  scant. 
Full  many  a  bout  shall  I  see  out. 

And  never  shall  I  know  aught  of  pain  or  of  want. 
Then  troul,  troul. 
Each  hearty  old  soul. 
That  loveth  the  sight  of  a  foaming  bowl; 
For  there's  naught  in  the  land 
He  should  care  to  command. 
Who  hath  got  such  brave  liquor  as  this  at  his  hand  !'* 

'♦Indeed  it  be  an  excellent  fine  song,  gossip,  and  a  merry,'* 
observed  the  old  miser,  wilh  exceeding  complacency. 

"  Somewhat  better  than  thy  miserable  ditty,  that  be  only  fit 
to  be  sung  over  a  kitten  in  a  fit,"  replied  the  jolly  mercer, 
with  his  customary  laugh.  '*  But  hand  up  thy  vessel,  Grego- 
ry, for  it  hath  acquired  a  marvellous  resemblance  to  thyself — 
it  be  singularly  empty  :   Haw  !  haw  !  haw  1" 

"  In  truth,  it  hath  nothing  in  it,"  said  the  scrivener,  losing 


168  SHAKSPEARE 

no  lime  in  doing  as  he  was  bid.     "  But  what  hath  become  of 
the  beautiful  Joanna  all  this  time?" 

"  Like  enough,  she  be  above  stairs  with  some  of  her  gal- 
lants," answered  the  other,  carelessly. 

*'  With  some  of  her  gallants  ?"  exclaimed  Gregory  Vellum — 
his  leaden  visage  in  no  small  degree  disturbed — "  Prithee,  tell 
me,  be  there  many  that  consort  with  her!" 

"  Some  score  or  two,  at  least,"  replied  his  companion. 

"  But  dost  approve  of  it?"  asked  the  old  miser,  looking  still 
less  at  his  ease. 

**  To  be  sure  I  do,  Gregory.  Dost  think  I  know  not  on 
which  side  of  the  bread  the  butter  lies  ? — I  tell  thee,  there  be 
all  sorts  of  notable  gentlemen  and  brave  gallants,  come  after 
her  upon  the  fame  of  her  infinite  comeliness;  and,  doubtless, 
seeking  of  my  favour,  they  order  of  me  great  store  of  fine 
things  for  their  own  wearing.  INlany's  the  piece  of  satin  I 
have  sold  for  a  cloak  ;  and  as  for  velvets  and  silks,  it  be  be- 
yond calculation  the  store  I  have  got  rid  of  on  that  account. 
Mayhap,  in  time,  some  of  them  owe  me  a  swinging  bill,  and 
I  go  with  it  to  their  houses,  and,  like  enough,  get  no  answer 
—then  send  I  Joanna,  and  she  bringeth  me  the  money  in  a 
presently.  Odds  my  life,  man  !  seeing  that  she  be  of  such 
profit  to  me,  will  I  not  let  her  do  as  she  lists  ?" 

"  But  dost  not  fancy  it  may  like  to  damage  her  reputation  ?" 

"  Damage  her  fiddlestick  !"  replied  the  jolly  mercer,  with 
his  ready  laugh.  "  I  doubt  not  she  be  well  able  to  take  care 
of  herself;  and  if  she  grant  them  any  favour,  'tis  like  she 
maketh  them  pay  roundly  for  it." 

This  communication  the  miser  of  St.  Mary  Axe  in  no  way 
seemed  to  relish,  as  was  evident  from  the  increasing  uneasi- 
ness of  his  countenance. 

"  Surely  thou  wouldst  be  glad  to  see  her  honestly  married 
to  some  reputable  person,"  said  he  at  last. 

"  Dost  take  me  for  an  ass,  Gregory  ?"  sharply  inquired 
the  other.  "  Neither  honestly  nor  dishonestly,  with  my  good 
will :  for  should  I  not  lose  by  it  all  the  good  custom  that  is 
now  drawn  to  my  house  ?  If  she  marry,  I  must  needs  make 
the  best  I  can  of  it ;  but  I  would  ever  hinder  it  if  I  could." 

"  Alack  do  not  say  so,  gossip,"  cried  his  companion  in  very 
woful  fashion,  '*  for  in  honest  truth  I  love  her  infinitely,  and 
would  marry  her  myself." 

"  Thou  marry  lier !"  shouted  the  mercer,  pushing  back  Iris 
chair,  and  staring  on  the  other  in  exceeding  surprise. 


AKD  Ills  FRIENDS.  169 

"  Ay,  good  GeolTrey,  and  have  come  expressly  to  talk  to 
tlice  upon  the  business." 

'♦  Haw  !  haw  !  haw  !"  roared  out  liis  lusty  companion. 

"And,  as  she  knowelh  full  well,  have  been  courting  of  her 
for  s,'Mne  time  past." 

"  Haw  !  haw  !  haw  !"  repeated  the  jolly  mercer  louder 
than  before. 

"Nay,  forsooth,  it  be  no  laughing  matter  to  me,  I  do  assure 
thee,"  continued  the  old  miser,  now  a  Utile  nettled  at  the 
manner  in  which  his  communication  had  been  received. 
"  She  haih  had  great  store  of  gifts  from  me — owches,  rings,  a 
Venetian  ciiain  that  cost  me  fitly  crowns,  besides  sundry  sums 
in  rose  nobles  for  her  private  expenses ;  and  when  upon 
showing  her  of  what  bountiful  disposition  1  had  been,  I  press- 
ed her  to  name  the  nuptial  day,  she  did  earnestly  assure  me 
of  her  willingness,  provided  I  succeeded  in  the  obtaining  of 
thy  consent." 

"  Haw  !  haw  !  haw  !''  shouted  the  other,  giving  tiie  table 
a  thump  that  made  it  sound  again,  and  looking  as  if  he  could 
hardly  see  out  of  his  eyes,  his  cheeks  were  so  squeezed  up 
with  laughing,  "  That  be  best  of  all.  So  thou  hast  been 
courting  Joanna,  eh  Gregory?  Why,  thou  shadow!  thou 
lath  !  thou  rush  !  tliou  first  cousin  to  nothing  ! — what  could 
mislead  thee  into  such  egregious  folly  ?  to  say  nothing  of  the 
presumption  on't.  To  think  for  a  moment  such  a  withered 
apple-john  as  thou  art  should  succeed  against  so  many  fine 
young  knights  and  sprightly  gentlemen  !" 

•'  Prythee,  if  I  am  not  to  have  her  to  wife,  let  her  return 
the  gifis  she  had  of  me,"  cried  liie  old  miser  with  exceeding 
earnestness. 

"  If  thou  ever  seest  a  glimpse  of  one  of  them,  then  shalt 
thou  have  better  eyesight  than  is  customary  for  one  at  thy 
time  of  life,"  replied  the  other,  chuckling  famously. 

*♦  Nay,  I  will  go  to  law  on  it  an'  I  have  them  not,"  cried 
the  scrivener,  starting  up  from  his  chair  in  a  monstrous  con- 
sternation at  the  thought  of  losing  so  many  valuable  things. 

"  Prythee  do  no  such  thing,"  answered  the  jolly  mercer, 
as  well  as  he  could  for  laughing,  "  for  of  a  surety  thou  wouldst 
be  laughed  out  of  every  court  in  Christendom." 

*'  Oh,  1  be  utterly  ruined  and  undone  !"  exclaimed  the  old 
miser  wildly,  as  he  sunk  his  hands  in  his  face  and  dropped 
again  into  his  chair. 

"  I  doubt  it  be  so  bad  as  that,"  observed  Geofl'rey  Sarsncl, 
VOL.  I.  15 


170  SHAKSPEARE 

'*  but  it  will  be  a  good  lesson  for  thee  to  take  heed  when  ihoU 
dost  again  pay  the  piper,  to  see  that  thou  art  not  left  alone  in 
the  dance." 

Gregory  Vellum  replied  not — for  ijuleed  he  ilid  stand  very 
much  in  fear  of  his  lusty  companion,  and  did  scarce  dare  utter 
a  word  ;  but  no  unfortunate  wight  looked  ever  in  so  disconso- 
late a  mood. 

"  Come,  drink,  man  !  drink  !"  cried  the  mercer  very  mer- 
rily. *'  Care  killed  a  cat,  and  if  it  could  put  a  finish  upon 
her  nine  lives,  surely  thy  one  must  needs  stand  but  a  sorry 
chance.  So  drown  care  in  the  bowl,  and  thou  shall  live  all 
the  happier  for  it." 

The  scrivener  of  St.  Mary  Axe  then,  as  if  in  a  desperate 
taking,  did  begin  to  drink  like  a  fish,  in  the  which  he  was  en- 
couraged by  the  other,  who  joked  and  laughed  without  ceas- 
ing. At  this  time  there  entered  one  of  a  very  impudent  coun- 
tenance, and  monstrous  swaggering  manner.  His  hair  was  of 
the  colour  of  flax  that  halh  been  scorched  in  the  dressing,  and 
was  combed  back  in  a  mighty  coxcombical  fashion  from  his 
forehead,  where  it  was  twisted  up  like  unto  acocaktoo's  crest; 
his  beard  was  of  the  like  hue,  and  cut  to  a  peak.  Of  his  face 
it  may  suffice  to  say  that  it  did  express  a  singular  fine  opinion 
of  the  owner,  and  for  assurance  was  not  like  to  meet  with  its 
peer.  For  his  age  it  seemed  nigh  unto  thirty.  He  wore  a 
high  ruff  and  a  doublet  very  conceitedly  cut,  that  had  once 
been  much  better  than  it  was  ;  with  breeches  stuffed  out  extra- 
vagantly— red  hose  cross  gartered,  and  yellow  rosettes  in  his 
shoes,  a  world  and  all  too  large.  Sticking  his  right  arm 
straight  out,  with  his  other  arm  a-kimbo,  as  soon  as  he  had 
entered  ;  with  a  very  fustian  voice,  and  high  and  mighty  look, 
he  thus  -addressed  the  twain  : 

*'  Brave  peers  of  France!  sith  we  have  passed  the  bounds 
Whereby  tlie  wranglinp^  billows  seek  for  straits 
To  war  with  Tellus  and  her  fruitful  mines  ; 
Sith  we  have  furrowed  through  those  wandering  tides 
Of  Tyrrhene  seas,  and  made  our  galley  dance 
Upon  the  Hyperborean  billows'  crests, 
That  braves  with  streams  the  watery  Occident — '* 

"  What,  Ralph  Goshawk !"  cried  the  jolly  mercer  as  he 
noticed  the  intruder.  "  Come,  sit  thee  down,  and  help  us  to 
finish  this  bowl."  But  the  other,  without  minding  interrup- 
tion, continued : — 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  171 

"  And  found  the  rich  and  wealthy  Indian  clime, 
Soiig-ht  to  by  greedy  minds  for  hostile  gold" — 

"  Nay,  give  over  bombasting  out  thy  blank  verse  awhile," 
said  Geoffrey  Sarsnet.  "  In  truth,  Ralph,  thou  art  exceeding 
like  a  gutter  on  a  house-top  in  a  storm  of  rain — thou  art  so 
abominably  given  to  spouting.     Haw  !  haw  !  haw  !" 

The  miser  of  St.  Mary  Axe  stared  with  a  sort  of  conster- 
nation, for  either  what  he  had  drunk  had  fuddled  him  in 
some  measure,  or  he  liked  not  the  stranger's  appearance  : 
seeing  which,  the  latter  made  two  or  three  dignified  strides 
to  where  the  scrivener  sat,  and  spoke  to  him  thus  : — 

••  And  I,  my  lord,  am  Mandricard  of  Mexico, 
Whose  climate  fairer  than  Tyberius, 
Seated  beyond  the  sea  of  Tripoly, 
And  richer  than  the  plot  Hesperides." 

"I  drink  your  worship's  health.  Master  Mandricard,"  ftil- 
teringly  replied  Gregory  Vellum,  with  trembling  hands  rais- 
ing the  horn  to  his  mouth.  Thereat,  the  other  proceeded 
after  the  same  fashion. 

*•  As  for  myself,  I  walk  abroad  a  nights, 
And  kill  sick  people  gi'oaning  under  walls  :'* 

At  this  the  miser  could  not  drink,  he  seemed  struck  with 
such  a  sudden  fear. 

•*  Sometimes  I  go  about  and  poison  wells." 

"  You  don't  say  so !"  exclaimed  the  frightened  scrivener. 

"  And  now  and  then  to  cherish  Christian  thieves 
I  am  content  to  lose  some  of  my  crowns  ; 
That  I  may,  walking  in  my  galler}', 
See  'em  go  pinioned  along  by  my  door." 

"  Ha !"  cried  the  frightened  scrivener,  in  a  long  tremulous 
tone. 

*♦  Then  after  that  was  I  an  usurer. 
And  with  extorting,  cozening,  forfeiting, 
And  tricks  belonging  unto  brokery, — 
I  filled  tiie  jails  witli  bankrui)ts  in  a  year. 
And  with  young  orphai\s  planted  hospitals. 
And  every  moon  made  some  or  other  mad.'* 

"  Good  Lord,  deliver  us  !"  piously  exclaimed  the  old 
miser.  Then  raising  his  voice,  and  looking  very  frowningly, 
the  other  recommenced  : — 


172  SHAKSPEARE 

"  'Twas  I,  my  lord,  that  got  the  victory — 
The  }^od  of  war  resigns  his  room  to  me, 
Meaning  to  make  me  general  of  the  world. 
Jove  viewing  me  in  arms  looks  pale  and  wan, 
Fearing  my  power  should  pull  him  from  his  throne, 
Where'er  I  come,  the  fatal  sisters  sweat. 
And  gi'isly  Death, — by  running  to  and  fro 
To  do  their  ceaseless  liomage  to  my  swoi'd." 

At  this,  Gregory  Vellum  trembling  in  every  joint,  and 
looking  as  pale  as  any  of  his  parchment,  threw  himself  on 
his  knees  before  the  other,  with  closed  palms  and  uplifted 
eyes,  and  cried  out  as  loud  as  his  fright  would  allow, 

"Good,  your  worship,  don't  kill  me  this  time!" 

♦'  Haw  !  haw !  haw  !"  shouted  the  jolly  mercer,  who  with 
much  ado,  had  refrained  from  laughing  before.  "  Get  thee 
up,  Gregory,  and  fear  nothing.  It  be  only  Ralph  Goshawk, 
a  young  haberdasher  from  the  Strand,  as  impudent  a  varlet 
as  lives  ;  but  there  be  no  harm  in  him,  save  that  he  be  stage- 
struck.  He  goeth  to  the  playhouse  so  oft,  that  his  talk  is 
all  of  fag-ends  of  plays  ;  and  so  far  gone  is  he  in  it,  that  if 
one  ask  of  him  the  price  of  pack-thread,  he  will  answer,  like 
an  emperor,  in  blank  verse.  Sit  thee  down,  Ralph !  and 
take  me  off  this  horn  of  good  ale,  or  I  will  beat  thee  out  of 
thy  humour  in  a  jiffy." 

The  young  haberdasher  took  two  majestic  strides  to  a 
chair,  which,  in  the  like  princely  manner,  he  drew  to  the 
table;  then,  with  a  right  royal  salutation  to  the  company,  he 
tossed  off  his  ale,  and  sat  himself  down  very  gravely  ;  at  the 
which  Geoffrey  Sarsnet  laughed  louder  than  ever.  The 
scrivener,  in  some  degree  assured  that  the  other  would  do 
him  no  harm,  now  returned  to  his  seat ;  but  the  drink  he 
had  had,  evidently  was  getting  into  his  head,  for  he  had  a 
very  vacant  look  with  him,  and  he  walked  unsteadily. 

*' Come,  drink,  my  masters,  drink,"  exclaimed  the  mercer, 
filling  the  cups  of  his  guests  as  fast  as  they  were  emptied. 
"  And  how  weareth  the  night,  Ralph  1" 

No  sooner  had  the  question  been  asked  than  he  that  was 
spoken  to  jumped  up  from  his  chair,  placed  his  arms  as  be- 
fore descrilDed,  and  thus  answered  : — 

"  The  golden  ball  of  Heaven's  eternal  fire, 
That  danced  with  glory  on  the  silver  waves. 
Now  wants  the  fuel  that  inflamed  his  beams; 
And  all  with  faintness  and  for  foul  disgrace, 
lie  binds  his  temples  with  a  frowning  cloud." 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  173 

Then  sat  him  down. 

"  Thou  villain,  thou  wilt  be  the  death  of  me,"  exclaimed 
his  lusty  host,  witli  his  usual  hearty  laugh.  "  But  cannot 
we  have  a  catch,  my  masters  1  I'm  in  a  brave  humour  for 
singing.     A  catch,  my  masters — a  catch  !" 

Up  jumped  the  young  haberdasher  at  tliis,  exclaiming 
exactly  after  the  same  fashion  as  at  first : — 

**  And  in  tills  sweet  and  curious  harmony 
The  god  that  tunes  this  music  to  our  souls 
Holds  out  his  hand  in  highest  majesty 
To  entertain  divine  Zenocrate.'* 

"  A  fig  for  Zenocrate  and  all  her  generation  !"  cried  the 
jolly  mercer.  "  I  tell  thee  we  will  have  a  catch,  what  sayest 
thou,  Gregory  ]     Art  for  a  catch  3" 

"  I'd  rather  the  hundredth  psalm  if  it  please  thee,  gossip," 
drawled  out  the  scrivener,  winking  his  eyes  a  bit,  as  if  his 
sight  was  none  of  the  clearest. 

"  Be  this  a  time  to  sing  psalms,  thou  heathen  !"  bawled 
out  he  of  Eastcheap.  "  Hast  no  respect  for  places  1  well,  if 
we  cannot  sing  a  catch,  we  will  dance  the  brawls  :  so  away 
with  the  tables  and  chairs,  my  masters,  into  the  corner,  and 
let's  foot  it  bravely." 

The  table  and  chairs  were  quickly  moved  by  the  jolly 
mercer,  assisted  by  Ralph  Goshawk,  who  could  not,  in  the 
mean  while,  refrain  from  breaking  out, — 

**  Now  Hecuba  and  Ilium's  honoured  line." 

^' Hang  Hecuba  and  thee  too!"  cried  Geoffrey  Sarsnet; 
"  and  for  the  matter  of  that.  Ilium  may  take  his  line  and 
hang  himself.  Haw  !  haw  !  haw  !  Now  then,  my  masters, 
at  it  in  style,  to  the  tune  of'  Green  Sleeves.'  " 

Then  commenced  a  scene,  the  like  of  which  hath  rarely 
been  looked  on ;  for  the  jolly  mercer  began  throwing  about 
his  lusty  limbs,  singing  of  the  tune  to  the  top  of  his  voice, 
with  now  and  then  varying  it  with  a  loud  whoop,  as  he 
slapped  one  or  other  on  the  back.  He  was  seconded  by 
Ralph  Goshawk,  who  moved  about  as  gingerly  as  though 
the  flooring  was  of  pins  and  needles,  and  he  was  mightily 
afraid  of  pricking  his  toes;  and  after  him  came  the  old  miser, 
with  his  eyes  half  shut,  and  hanging  of  his  head  on  one  side, 
as  he  staggered  here  and  there,  as  if  without  the  slightest 
knowledge  of  what  he  was  a  doing.  Such  a  din  they  kicked 
up  as  would  have  astonished  a  blacksmith.    In  the  very  midst 

15* 


174  SHAKSPEARB 

thereof,  Gregory  Vellum  made  a  stumble,  and  came  with 
his  back  against  tlio  table,  knocking  down  from  it  the  lights, 
the  horns,  the  bowl,  and  every  one  thing  that  had  been 
there,  and  putting  the  place  in  utter  and  complete  darkness. 
Immediately  after  the  crash,  tlje  door  opened,  and  there 
appeared  at  it  the  beautiful  Joanna  with  a  light,  with  dame 
Margery  close  behind,  peeping  to  know  what  such  a  terrible 
racket  could  be  about.  Seeing  the  mercer's  daughter,  the 
old  miser,  who  had  till  now  supported  himself  against  the 
table  with  his  hands,  slipped  down  upon  his  nether  end, 
staring  at  her  as  foolishly  as  you  please,  with  his  mouth 
open ;  and  the  young  haberdasher  marched  forward  two 
paces,  and  with  his  arms  in  the  usual  position,  addressed 
her  thus : — 

"  O  gentle  daughter  of  King  CEdlpus, 

0  sister  dear  to  that  unhappy  wight 
Whom  brother's  rage  had  reaved  of  his  right. 

To  whom  thou  knowest,  in  young  and  tender  yeai-s, 

1  was  a  friend  and  faithful  governor, 

Come  forth,  since  that  her  grace  hath  granted  leave, 
And  let  me  know  wlmt  cause  hath  moved  now, 
So  chaste  a  maid  to  set  her  dainty  foot 
Over  the  threshold  of  her  secret  lodge." 

"  Go  it,  fustian !"  cried  the  mercer,  giving  the  other  so 
forcible  a  slap  on  the  back  that  it  put  him  quite  out  of  his 
favourite  position,  and  nearly  sent  him  sprawling  on  the 
floor. 

"  Father,  I  wonder  you  should  make  such  a  clatter  at  this 
time  of  the  night,"  said  Joanna,  as  gravely  as  she  could ;  for 
in  truth  the  scene  was  extremely  ludicrous  :  then  she  added 
to  the  old  woman, — "  Margery,  let  them  have  lights."  At 
the  which,  giving  her  candle  to  the  other,  she  was  hastening 
away,  when  she  stopped  suddenly,  turned  back,  and  said, 
"  I  think  you  had  best  go  to  bed,  father,  for  'tis  exceeding 
late,  and  the  neighbours  will  marvel  hugely  at  your  making 
such  a  disturbance ;" — and  then  she  went  away. 

"  Well,  the  choicest  of  fooling  must  have  an  end,"  ex- 
claimed the  jolly  mercer ;  "  so  we  must  e'en  part.  Ralph, 
thou  hadst  best  see  Gregory  Vellum  to  his  house  in  St.  Mary 
Axe,  for  I  doubt  much,  if  he  were  left  to  find  his  way,  he 
would  get  beyond  the  next  gutter."  At  the  which,  the 
young  haberdasher  answered  only  by  staring  at  the  open 
door  very  earnestly,  and  exclaiming  thus : — 


AND  HIS  PRIEN'DS.  175 

"  Techelles,  draw  tliy  sword. 
And  wound  the  earth,  that  it  may  cleave  in  twain. 
And  we  descend  into  th'  infernal  vaults 
To  hale  the  fatal  sisters  by  the  hair, 
And  throw  them  in  the  triple  moat  of  hell, 
For  taking-  hence  my  fair  Zenocrate." 

"  What,  Zenocrate  again  !  and  be  hanged  to  thee,"  cried 
out  his  lusty  host,  and  thereat  lent  him  such  a  kick  of  the 
breech,  that  it  sent  him  bounce  against  the  old  woman,  as 
she  was  going  out  at  the  door. 

"  Ya !"  screamed  she,  as  loud  as  she  could  bawl,  and 
took  herself  out  of  the  room  as  if  she  had  been  shot  out 
of  it. 

"  Haw  !  haw  !  haw  1''  roared  the  jolly  mercer,  whilst  the 
discomfited  haberdasher  stood  at  a  little  distance,  diligently 
rubbing  his  nether  end.  "  But  haste  thee,  Ralph,  and  take 
this  fellow  away  straight,  for  I  am  eager  to  have  him  out  of 
my  house." 

At  this  Ralph  Goshawk  took  two  or  three  of  his  most 
majestic  strides  to  where  Gregory  Vellum  now  lay  at  his 
length,  and  with  the  assistance  of  his  lusty  companion, 
raised  him  on  his  legs.  The  old  miser  opened  his  lack- 
lustre eyes,  and  tried  to  look  sensible,  in  the  which,  as  may 
be  supposed,  he  succeeded  not  at  all. 

"  Oh,  woman  1  lovely  woman !"  cried  he,  in  his  shrill 
treble;  and  thereupon  hugged  Ralph  so  closely  in  his  arms, 
that  both  of  them  came  tumbling  to  the  ground  together. 

"  Odds  m}""  life,  this  fooling  will  be  the  death  of  me," 
exclaimed  the  mercer,  his  fat  sides  shaking  with  laughter ; 
and  then  the  two  again  essayed  to  raise  the  tipsy  scrivener. 

"  Spare  my  money,  and  lake  ray  life,"  drawled  out  he,  as 
he  arrived  at  his  perpendicular. 

♦'  Thy  money's  safe,  I'll  be  bound  for  it ;  and  as  for  thy 
life,  'tis  the  safer  of  tlie  two,  for  it  be  not  worth  the  taking." 
And  then  the  mirth  of  Geoffrey  Sarsnet  burst  out  as  loud  as 
ever. 

"Oh,  my  gold  !  my  gold  !"  cried  the  old  miser,  knocking 
his  hands  together,  and  looking  marvellously  helpless  and  piti- 
ful, as,  supported  by  the  arms  of  Ralph  Goshawk  round  his 
waist,  he  dragged  himself  along.  The  young  haberdasher 
accompanying  him  with  a  monstrous  dignified  slow  march, 
and  looking  as  tenderly  on  his  charge,  as  if  he  had  been  some 
delicate  princess  ;  and  the  jolly  mercer,  following  with  the 
light,  ever  and  anon  breaking  out  in  his  customary  laugh. 


170  SHAKSPEARE 

*'  Gently  with  him  !"  exclaimed  he.  **  Hold  him  up,  or 
he  will  slip  down  nfrain,  ami  mayhap  hurl  his  foofs  head." 

'sSiop,  let  me  put  on  his  hat — and  here's  liiine.  Now,  let 
me  ope  the  door:  and  if  ihou  meet  any  of  the  watch,  say  it 
be  an  honest  friend  of  mine,  and  they  will  molest  ihee  not; 
for  I  be  in  good  odour  wiili  Master  Constable,  and  have  treat- 
ed many  of  his  brethren  with  a  tankard.  Good  night  to  ihee, 
old  bov  ;  and,  pry  thee,  keep  thy  body  up  if  thou  canst.  Good 
night,  Ralph  r' 

The  young  haberdasher  no  sooner  heard  the  words  that 
had  just  been  ushered,  than  holding  his  charge  firmly  with 
one  arm,  he  struck  out  the  other,  and  replied,  "Thus  Rhada- 
manthus  spoke — " 

"  Hang  Rhadamanlhus  and  thee  too  !"  cried  the  other,  as 
he  banged  ihe  street  door  in  his  face  :  and  what  Rhadaman- 
lhus spoke  remaineth  to  this  day  a  mystery.  The  jolly  mer- 
cer, like  a  careful  ciiizen,  fastened  the  door,  and  saw  that  all 
things  were  safe  in  his  house ;  and  then  went  he  up  stairs  to 
bed,  singing  very  merrily — 

**  Full  oft  to  the  great  have  I  held  my  prate  ; 
But  when  I  have  had  good  ale  enow, 
I  be  not  afeard  to  wag-  my  beard 

With  any  woman's  son,  be  he  high  or  low.'* 


CHAPTER  XII. 

Since  Fortune's  will  is  now  so  bent 

To  plague  me  thus,  poor  man  \ 
I  must  myself  therewith  content. 

And  hear  it  as  I  can. 

Sir  Thomas  Wyatt. 

Happy  is  he  that  liveth  in  such  a  sort ; 

He  need  not  fear  the  tongues  of  false  report. 

Loni)  SuunEY. 

What  comfort  have  we  now  ? 
By  Heaven,  I'll  hate  him  everlastingly 
That  bids  me  be  of  comfort  any  more. 

SUAKSPEAIIE. 

There  was  a  goodly  company  in  the  parlour  of  mine  host 
of  the  8hip  at  Chatham,  whereof  most  of  them  seemed  to  be 
seafaring  men  from  the  vessels  lying  in  harbour,  shipwrights 


AND  ins  FRIENDS.  177 

of  the  town,  and  the  like.  Some  were  a  playing  at  shove- 
groat;  others  leaning  out  of  the  open  bow-window  watching 
the  ships.  Here  one  was  upon  a  bencli  as  fast  as  a  cliurch, — 
there  another  a  nodding  his  head  over  the  table,  as  if  he  would 
speedily  follow  his  neighbour's  example;  many  were  a  drink- 
ing, and  some  few  discoursing  very  soberly;  whilst  ever  and 
anon  mine  host  (a  very  tapsier-looking  varlet,  with  a  right 
rosy  facy  and  a  short  plump  body)  came  in  and  out,  serving 
of  his  customers  with  a  tankard  or  so,  and  having  something 
to  say  to  all, 

"  Pryihee,  tell  me  what  ship  be  that,  Simon  Mainsail?" 
inquired  a  stout  handicraftsman  of  some  sort,  to  a  weather- 
beaten  old  mariner  with  a  scarred  face,  who  stood  by  him  at 
the  window. 

"  Which  ship,  messmate?"  asked  the  other. 

"  Oh  !  be  that  she  squaring  her  yards  ?"  observed  the  mari- 
ner inquiringly. 

•'  Nay,  I  know  not  if  she  be  squaring  of  her  yards  or  her 
inches,"  replied  the  handicraftsman  ;  "but  it  seemelh  to  me 
that  she  be  just  come  to  an  anchor." 

"  ^J'hat  be  the  craft,  ey  ?"  answered  his  companion.  "  'Tis 
a  pinnace  of  my  Lord  Admiral's,  called  the  Disdain,  and  many 
a  time  and  oft  have  I  been  afloat  in  her.  She  sailelh  well 
enough  afore  the  wind — ay,  my  heart !  as  bravely  as  a  witch 
in  a  sieve  ;  but  she  wears  heavily  in  some  weathers.  I  was 
in  her  off  the  Lizard,  when  we  first  had  sight  of  the  Spanish 
armada,  and  Captain  Jonas  Bradbury  was  her  captain — a  right 
gallant  gentleman,  and  a  skilful.  Well,  when  my  Lord  Ad- 
miral had  allowed  the  villain  Spaniards,  with  all  their  host  of 
big  ships,  amounting  to  160  sail,  to  pass  him  by  as  they  did, 
swaggering  it  along  like  very  bullies  as  they  were,  we  in  the 
Disdain  were  sent  to  challeno-e  them  to  the  fight,  at  the  which 
we  lost  no  time,  for  we  straight  bore  down  upon  the  nearest, 
and  discharged  our  ordnance  at  her.  Then  up  came  my  Lord 
Admiral,  in  liie  ark  Royal,  giving  to  the  first  galleon  of  the 
enemy  such  a  broadside  as  made  her  shiver  in  all  her  timbers. 
Close  at  his  stern  came  Drake,  in  the  Revenge,  Sir  Joha 
Hawkins  in  the  Victory,  and  Sir  Martin  Frobisher  in  the 
Triumph,  which  last  was  the  biggest  of  all  our  ships,  and 
they  soon  began  to  fire  away  like  mad  Other  of  our  craft 
followed,  and  they  of  the  armada,  after  a  while,  liked  not  our 
salutations,  I  promise  you  ;  for  they  that  were  nighest  to  us 
bore  away  as  if  Old  Clooty  was  at  their  heels  ;  but  not  before 


178  SHAKSPEARE 

we  had  done  them  great  damagement,  burnt  one  of  their 
largest  ships,  and  took  another,  in  the  which  we  found  ri5,000 
ducats,  whereof  I  spent  my  share  (for  it  was  all  divided 
amongst  the  sailors)  in  drinking  confusion  to  all  villain  Spa- 
niards." 

"  That  was  a  proud  time  for  old  England,"  remarked  a 
bystander. 

"  Proud  time!"  exclaimed  Simon  Mainsail.  " 'Slife,  mess- 
mate !  I  never  think  on't  but  I  feel  as  if  I  were  head  and 
shoulders  taller." 

"  Here  be  a  brimming  tankard,  my  masters  !"  cried  mine 
host,  as  he  set  a  filled  jug  before  two  youths,  who  appeared 
by  their  looks  to  be  but  simple  apprentices.  "  I  doubt  not 
'twill  warm  your  young  hearts  famously.  'Tis  mild  as  milk, 
and  soft  as  silk ;  and  as  good  as  can  be  drunk  by  ar-y  no- 
bleman in  the  land.  But  the  money,  my  masters,  the 
money  !" 

"  How  much  be  the  cost  of  it  ?"  asked  one,  very  inno- 
cently. 

"  Why,  to  such  noble  young  gentlemen  I  must  say  a 
groat ;  though  I  would  not  let  those  of  meaner  quality  have 
it  under  threepence,  I  promise  you."  Thereat  he  nudged  a 
bystander  at  the  elbow. 

"  I  thank  you,  kindly,  good  sir,"  replied  the  youth ;  and 
then  in  a  whisper  added  lo  his  companion,  "  Tim,  hast  got 
twopence? — for  no  more  than  that  have  I." 

"  I  have  it  to  a  farthing,"  said  the  other  ;  and  thereupon 
handed  him  the  amount,  which  with  his  own  he  placed  in 
the  hands  of  mine  host. 

"  I  think  you  will  find  it  right,"  observed  the  apprentice, 
as  he  noticed  the  tapster  begin  counting  of  it. 

"  One  penny — two — three — a  halfpenny  and  two  farthings 
is  it  exactly,  and  thank  your  worship,"  replied  mine  liost, 
with  a  monstrous  serious  countenance,  whilst  all  in  the  room 
could  scarce  refrain  from  a  laugh. 

"Will  you  take  a  drink  with  us,  good  sir?"  asked  Tim, 
modestly. 

"  That  will  I,  and  thank  your  honour,"  answered  mine 
host,  raising  the  untasted  jug  to  his  mouth.  "  So,  your 
worships'  very  good  health  !" 

"  I  thank  you,"  said  both  at  the  same  time.  The  two  ap- 
prentices now  watched  the  tapster,  very  curiously,  as  they 
saw  his  head  gradually  fall  back  as  he  was  a  drinking  of 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  179 

their  liquor,  and  liis  stomach  poke  out  as  much,  till  he  put 
down  the  tankard. 

"  Why,  he's  drank  it  all !"  exclaimed  one,  opening  his 
eyes  with  astonishment,  as  soon  as  he  discovered  the  vessel 
was  empty  ;  at  the  which  announcement  the  jaw  of  the  other 
fell  prodigiously,  and  all  the  company  burst  out  into  a  roar 
of  laughter. 

"  Your  worship  was  good  enough  to  ask  me  to  take  a 
drink,  and  methinks  I  have  done  your  bidding  famously," 
said  mine  host ;  and  without  ever  a  word  more,  he  walked 
straight  from  the  room  as  if  he  had  done  nothing  out  of  the 
common,  leaving  every  one  a  laughing  more  than  ever,  and 
the  two  youths  looking  at  each  other  as  foolish  as  you  please. 
The  latter  seemed  as  if  they  knew  not  whether  to  go  or  to 
stay.  Without  doubt  they  were  monstrously  ashamed,  and 
would  have  given  their  ears  never  to  have  entered  into  a 
place,  whereof,  it  is  on  the  face  of  it,  they  had  had  so  little 
experience ;  but  whilst  they  were  a  reddening  and  fidgeting 
about,  and  making  up  a  resolution  to  take  to  their  heels,  in 
comes  mine  host  with  a  full  tankard,  as  if  for  another  cus- 
tomer, and  with  such  an  exceeding  comic  face,  that  at  the 
sight  of  it  the  company  laughed  louder  than  at  first. 

♦'  Here  be  a  somewhat  larger  tankard  than  the  one  I 
brought  you  in  awhile  since,"  said  the  tapster,  as  he  placed 
the  vessel  before  the  astonished  youths.  "  But  the  liquor 
hath  been  drawn  from  the  same  tap,  I'll  warrant  it.  'Tis  in 
exchange  for  that  I  have  swallowed.  Drink,  and  make 
your  hearts  merry,  my  masters.  But  let  me  give  you  this 
piece  of  advice,  which  you  will,  I  doubt  not,  find  of  some 
profit  to  follow.  Never  ask  another  to  drink  with  you  till 
you  have  first  gauged  his  stomach  to  see  what  he  will  hold." 

"  I'll  gauge  him  without  fail,  depend  on"t,  good  sir,"  ex- 
claimed Tim,  in  an  excellent  cheerful  humour ;  and  then  all 
in  the  room  expressed  their  delight  at  mine  host's  conceit, 
and  many  did  order  fresh  tankards  they  were  so  well 
pleased  with  the  handsome  way  in  which  he  had  made 
amends  to  the  simple  apprentices  for  the  trick  he  had  played 
upon  them. 

"  That  be  so  like  thee,  Ephraim  Spigot,"  observed  one 
merrily. 

"  That  be  a  sure  thing,"  replied  he,  after  the  same  fashion. 
"  For  of  all  my  family  I  be  reckoned  most  like  myself" 
Thereat  there  was  a  laugh  of  course ;  and  he  took  himself 
out  in  the  midst  of  it. 


180  SHAKSPEARE 

"  Knowest  thou  where  that  vessel  hath  been  3"  inquired 
the  handicraftsman  of  his  neighbour. 

"  I  did  hear  she  sailed  to  bring  back  Sir  Walter  Raleigh," 
replied  Simon  Mainsail. 

"What,  he  that  went  from  here  on  the  late  expedition?'* 
asked  his  companion. 

*'  Ay,  messmate,  the  same,"  said  the  mariner. 

"  It  hath  been  said  that  he  be  in  disgrace  at  court,  for  that 
he  will  not  splice  himself  unto  a  gentlewoman  of  the  queen's 
choosing,"  observed  another  seafaring  man. 

"  Now,  I  heard  from  my  gammer,"  said  an  artificer ;  "  and 
my  gammer  got  it  from  her  gossip,  and  her  gossip  had  it 
from  a  cousin  of  hers,  who  is  a  serving-man  to  some  person 
of  vi^orship  in  London,  that  this  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  hath 
fallen  out  with  the  great  Earl  of  Essex,  and  that  they  were 
nigh  coming  to  blows  before  the  queen's  majesty,  the  which 
put  her  into  so  monstrous  a  fret,  that  she  straightway  for- 
bid them  her  presence." 

"  'Tis  said  that  this  Raleigh  be  a  famous  conceited  fellow,'* 
remarked  another,  "  and  spendeth  as  much  on  his  back  as 
would  clothe  a  whole  county." 

"  What  dreadful  extravagance !"  exclaimed  the  handi- 
craftsman ;  "  why  cannot  he  be  content  with  a  jerkin  of  a 
moderate  price,  such  as  might  become  any  honest  man,  and 
give  the  rest  to  the  poor  ]" 

"  Why,  messmate,  thus  runs  the  log,"  replied  the  old 
mariner,  hitching  up  his  slops  ;  "  if  so  be  he  be  ordered  to 
dress  his  vessel  after  one  fashion,  he  must  needs  do  it,  or  be 
put  in  the  bilboes  for  a  mutineer.  Mayhap  he  hath  had 
signals  from  his  admiral  to  have  his  rigging  smarter  than 
ordinary ;  and  like  a  good  seaman,  he  hath  obeyed  orders. 
As  for  his  hanging  astern  at  court,  for  not  consorting  with 
such  as  his  betters  choose  for  him,  I  have  seen  none  that 
have  taken  soundings  there,  therefore  have  I  no  chart  to  go 
by  to  lead  me  to  the  truth  ;  and  whether  he  have  come  to  an 
engagement  with  Lord  Essex,  know  I  as  little ;  but  let  him 
have  sailed  on  either  tack,  or  for  the  matter  of  that,  on  both, 
I  see  nothing  in  it  discreditable  to  his  seamanship." 

"  I  heard  from  a  very  honest  intelligencer  that  he  was  to 
be  fetched  back  from  his  command,  in  huge  disgrace,"  ob- 
served one  of  the  artificers. 

"  Mayhap,"  replied  Simon  Mainsail ;  •'  the  very  best  man 
that  walks  a  plank  can't  aJways  have  fair  weather  with  his 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  181 

officers,  albeit  he  have  no  fault  in  him  ; — for  on  one  watch 
they  shall  be  in  this  humour,  and  the  next  in  one  that  is  clean 
contrary.  'Slife !  it  be  the  difRcultest  thing  that  is  for  a 
fellow  to  warp  out  o'harbour  without  meeting  with  a  squall 
from  some  of  'em.  As  for  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  'tis  like 
enough  I  be  as  familiar  with  his  trim  and  seaworthiness  as 
any,  seeing  that  I  served  as  gunner  under  him  in  Drake  and 
Norris's  expedition  to  the  Groyne,  in  the  year  eighty-nine; 
and  I  can  say  this  much,  that  never  met  I  a  more  proper 
commander.  He  be  none  of  your  thundering  great  ships 
that  bear  down  upon  us  smaller  craft,  as  if  they  would 
swamp  every  mother's  son  of  us ;  but  he  hath  often  and 
often  crept  up  along  side  of  me,  and  spoke  about  gunnery 
and  such  matters  with  as  much  cunning  as  if  he  had  been 
at  load  and  fire  all  his  life.  And  as  for  his  spirit, — after  we 
landed  in  the  Bay  of  Ferrol,  I  saw  him  bear  up  among  the 
Spaniards  at  Puente  de  Burgos,  after  a  fashion  that  remind- 
ed me  only  of  that  right  gallant  officer  his  kinsman,  Sir 
Richard  Grenville." 

*'  And  what  did  he,  neighbour  V  asked  the  handicraftsman. 

"What  did  he,  messmate?"  replied  the  veteran,— "  why 
he  did  the  gallantest  thing  that  ever  was  known  on  the  high 
seas.  You  shall  hear,  for  it  be  marvellously  worth  the  tell- 
ing. You  see  there  was  a  fleet  sent  out  in  the  year  ninety- 
one,  under  the  command  of  Lord  Thomas  Howard,  consist- 
ing of  six  ships  royal,  six  victuallers,  and  a  few  pinnaces, 
whereof  Sir  Richard  Grenville  was  vice-admiral,  in  the 
RevengiR^.  in  the  which  I  had  gone  on  board  as  master 
gunner ;  and  this  expedition,  like  unto  the  one  that  sailed 
from  here  awhile  ago  with  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  had  for  its 
object  the  surprising  of  the  Plate  fleet,  belonging  to  the 
villain  Spaniards,  as  it  rendezvoused  at  the  Azores,  coming 
from  America.  Somehow  or  another,  the  pestilent  knaves, 
the  enemy,  had  wind  of  it,  and  they  sent  a  fleet  of  fifty-three 
of  their  biggest  ships  of  war  to  act  as  convoy ;  of  the  which 
we  knowing  nothing,  were  quietly  taking  in  water  at  Flores, 
when  down  they  came  upon  us.  All  hurried  on  board  to 
weigh  anchor  and  escape,  as  there  was  no  fighting  against 
such  odds.  But  Sir  Richard  Grenville,  having  seen  every 
one  of  his  men  embark,  was  the  last  to  leave  the  shore;  and 
by  this  necessary  delay  the  Revenge  was  left  alone.  He 
seeing  that  there  was  no  hope  of  recovering  the  wind,  knew 
nothing  was  possible  but  to  cut"  his  mainsail,  tack  about,  and 

VOL.  I.  16 


182  6HAKSPEARE 

be  off  witli  what  speed  he  might,  or  stay  and  fight  with  all 
that  could  come  up  with  him  :  but  though  the  enemy  had 
surrounded  his  ship  in  such  a  way  as  to  leave  him  little 
chance  of  escape,  and  though  ninety  of  his  men  were  on  the 
sick  list,  and  only  a  hundred  able  for  duty,  he  was  not  the 
fellow  to  turn  from  a  parcel  of  villain  Spaniards;  so  he  had 
every  thing  prepared  for  action,  and  bore  down  to  force  a 
squadron  that  stood  on  his  weather  bow. 

"  There,  my  messmates,  was  a  sight  to  see,"  continued 
the  old  mariner,  his  honest  weather-beaten  face  glowing  at 
his  own  narration  ;  "  one  ship  attacking  a  whole  squadron  ! 
And  the  gallant  Grenville  was  nigh  being  as  successful  as 
his  great  heart  merited ;  for  divers  of  the  villain  Spaniards 
springing  their  loof,  fell  under  his  lee ;  but  a  cursed  big  gal- 
leon of  fifteen  hundred  tons  gained  the  wind,  and  bearing 
dow^n  on  the  Revenge,  did  so  becalm  her  sails  that  neither 
could  she  make  way  or  obey  the  helm.  You  may  have  a 
notion,  messmates,  of  what  sort  of  a  customer  this  galleori 
was  like  to  be,  when  I  tell  you  that  she  carried  three  tier  of 
guns  on  each  side,  and  discharged  eight  forej'ight  from  her 
chase,  besides  those  of  her  stern  ports.  Well,  as  ill  luck 
would  have  it,  whilst  we  were  peppering  away  at  this  mon- 
ster in  such  sort  as  soon  made  her  glad  to  sheer  off,  two  of 
the  like  kind  boarded  us  on  the  starboard,  and  two  on  the 
larboard  ;  but  we  minded  'em  not  a  wjjit ;  nay,  we  beat  'em 
off,  one  after  another,  big  as  they  were,  till  we  had  fought 
some  sixteen  of  them  for  the  space  of  fifteen  hours;  two  of 
which  we  sunk  and  two  made  complete  wrecks,  and  the  rest 
we  haridled  pretty  rudely,  I  promise  you. 

"But  how  fared  we  all  this  time,  my  messmates'?  Scarce 
one  of  us  escaped — forty  as  brave  fellows  as  ever  trod  a 
deck  were  sent  aloft,  where  'tis  to  be  hoped  they'll  be  well 
cared  for;  and  of  the  rest  scarce  any  were  left  without 
something  to  show  of  the  sort  of  employment  they  had  been 
at.  I  got  this  slash  across  my  figure  head,  with  a  bullet 
through  my  starboard  fin,  and  another  near  the  main  hatch- 
way;  all  along  of  those  villain  Spaniards.  Sir  Richard,  who 
had  not  left  the  upper  deck  for  eight  hours  after  he  was  first 
wounded,  which  was  in  the  early  part  of  the  action,  was  then 
shot  through  the  bulwarks ;  and  as  they  were  repairing  the 
damage,  he  received  another  bullet,  and  saw  the  doctor 
regularly  capsized  alongside  of  him.  But  the  Revenge  was 
treated  worse  than  all ;  for  when  the  morning  broke  she  was 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  183 

nothing  but  a  naked  hull ;  having  received  as  many  as  eight 
hundred  shot  of  great  artillery,  which  those  bullies  of  gal- 
leons had  fired  into  her,  wiiereof  some  were  under  w*ater  : 
her  masts  were  beat  overboard — her  tackle  split  to  ribands 
— her  upper  works  levelled  to  the  water's  edge  ;  and  she 
was  altogether  in  so  pitiful  a  condition  that  she  moved  only 
with  the  motion  of  the  billows. 

"  For  all  that,  my  messmates,  Sir  Richard  wasn't  fur 
striking  his  flag;  but  proposed  to  sink  the  ship  rather  than 
fall  into  the  hands  of  such  notorious  villains,  in  the  which  he 
was  seconded  by  myself  and  some  few  of  the  crew;  but  the 
rest  not  being  of  the  like  spirit,  compelled  him  to  surrender; 
and  this,  methinks,  rather  than  his  wounds,  caused  him  to 
die  soon  after." 

'*  There  went  a  noble  heart  !"  cried  one  of  the  seafaring 
men. 

"  In  truth,  he  was  a  gallant  gentleman,"  said  the  handi- 
craftsman ;  and  others  made  like  ejaculations,  for  all  had  lis- 
tened with  exceeding  interest  to  the  old  man's  stirring  account 
of  the  figlu. 

"  But  how  got  you  out  of  their  clutches,  Simon  Mainsail?" 
asked  one  ;  ♦'  and  how  did  they  behave  to  you  ?" 

•'  'Slife  !  they  used  me  like  a  dog,  messmate,"  replied  the 
veteran,  in  a  monstrous  indignation;  "  my  wounds  were  most 
infamously  handled  ;  and  how  I  recovered  under  such  barba- 
rous ireatmenl  is  a  marvel  to  me.  But  we  were  all  served 
alike,  clapped  in  irons',  and  treated  with  mouldy  biscuit  and 
bilge  water,  till  we  came  to  an  anchor  at  Cadiz,  when  we  were 
paraded  ihrough  the  streets,  accompanied  by  shoals  of  papist 
priests,  soldiers,  and  a  bloodthirsty  mob,  yelling  at  the  sight 
of  us,  as  if  they  had  reason  to  boast  of  their  victory.  It  was 
given  out  that  we  were  to  be  hanged,  which  sent  some  of  us 
on  our  beam  ends  at  the  thought  of  it  ;  but  1  told  'em  not  to 
despair,  and  set  them  up  to  a  thing  which  made  them  put 
their  helms  up  in  a  presently.  You  must  know,  messmates, 
that  these  Sp-.miards  hale  us  for  not  caring  a  breath  of  wind  for 
iheir  images,  relics,  and  such  like  Popish  abominations,  and 
curse  us  in  their  hearts  for  heretics  :  but  the  priests  are 
mightily  pleased  at  the  thouuht  of  converting  a  protestant,  as 
they  look  upon  it  as  a  sort  of  victory.  So  we  got  one  of  our 
crew  who  understood  their  palter,  to  say  we  would  fain 
change  our  religion  :  thereupon  came  father  this  and  father 
t'other,  who  preached  to  us  by  the  hour,  and  very  easily  per- 


184  SHAKSPEARE 

suaded  oiir  whole  company  to  cross  ourselves,  to  kiss  this 
image  and  the  other  image,  and  assent  to  whatever  they  di- 
rected. Then,  seeing  us  such  good  Catholics,  we  were  taken 
out  of  our  chains — our  victuals  became  of  a  better  sort,  and 
they  kept  not  so  sharp  an  eye  on  us  as  tliey  did.  The  end 
of  all  this  was,  one  night  we  broke  out  of  prison  very  quietly, 
got  into  some  boats  that  were  high  and  dry  on  the  beach, — 
with  them  boarded  a  ketch  that  lay  at  anchor  in  the  bay,  and 
having  found  the  crew  asleep,  took  possession  of  her  without 
a  blow,  and  in  the  morning  we  were  far  out  at  sea,  better 
protestants  than  ever,  making  for  Old  England,  with  a  whole 
crew  of  villain  Spaniards  our  prisoners." 

*'  I'faith  that  was  well  done  !"  exclaimed  one,  in  the  which 
all  seemed  to  assent,  especially  the  apprentices,  who,  having 
finished  their  tankard,  had  grown  bold  enough  to  express 
their  approval  of  the  old  mariner's  conduct. 

"  I  should  like  to  beat  a  Spaniard  hugely,"  said  Tim  to  the 
other,  very  bravely. 

"  Suppose  he  stand  upon  his  weapon  and  will  not  be  beat 
of  thee — what  then  ?"  asked  his  companion. 

*'  Why  a — "  observed  Tim,  somewliat  as  it  were  in  a  sort 
of  hesitation — "  I  would  e'en  tell  him  go  hang  for  a  knave, 
and  let  him  go." 

"  Walk  in,  my  masters — walk  in,  I  pray  you  !"  cried  out 
mine  host  as  he  ushered  into  the  room  too  serving-men,  who 
looked  by  the  dust  on  their  jerkins  and  long  boots,  that  they 
liad  come  of  a  journey.  "  There  be  room  enough  and  to 
spare,  I  warrant  you  :  and  if  so  be  you  are  as  dry  as  are  the 
roads,  doubtless  you  will  be  all  the  better  for  a  wetting." 

*'  What  sayest  thou,  Diggory,  shall  we  have  a  tankard  ?" 
asked  one  of  the  other,  as  they  swaggered  themselves  into  a 
seal. 

"  Ay,  Peter,  let  it  be  a  tankard,"  replied  Diggory. 

*'  That  you  shall  have,  and  of  the  best,"  said  Ephraim  Spi- 
got, "  and  'tis  to  be  hoped,  'twill  enable  you  to  drink  away 
your  drought,  and  draught  away  your  drink."  And  away 
went  the  portly  tapster,  with  a  loud  chuckle  at  his  own  con- 
ceit. 

*'  Doth  that  fellow  laugh  at  us  ?"  said  Peler,  with  exceed- 
ing fierceness.  '•  Nay,  and  by  goles  I'll  rap  him  over  the  pate 
an'  he  do." 

"  Prythee  do  not,"  said  his  companion  urgently,  "  for  re- 
memberest   thou    what   Sir  Nicholas    Throckmorton  said — 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  185 

*  Mention  my  name  on  no  account,  and  of  all  things  keep  out 
of  brawls.'" 

"  Ha,  so  said  lie  sure  enough,  Diggory,"  replied  the  other, 
••  I  mind  it  well,  and  will  be  as  close  upon  this  business  as  if 
1  knew  it  not.  Nay,  if  there  be  any  so  daring  as  to  say  I  be 
Sir  Nic!iolas  Throckmorton's  serving-man,  I'll  swear  he  lies 
in  his  throat,  and  slit  his  weasan  for  him." 

*•  Dost  think  Slcplien  Shortcake  will  be  long,  Peter  ?"  asked 
Gregory. 

"  Indeed,  I  cannot  say,"  responded  he  sharply.  ♦•  To  tell 
thee  the  irutli,  Disrgory,  I  like  him  not  ;  for  when  I  wanted  to 
cut  off  that  impudent  varlel's  ear^,  that  did  seem  to  dog  us  so 
as  we  came  along,  he  woidd  on  no  account  let  it  be:  and  did 
give  me  a  rating  for  seeking  to  endanger  the  reputation  of  our 
mistress  by  my  quarrelsomeness.  'Slife,  I  take  him  to  be  a 
very  precise  fellow,  Diggory." 

"  Here  you  are,  my  masters  !"  cried  mine  host,  bringing  in 
the  liquor  and  setting  it  before  his  customers;  "and  never 
tasted  you  better  sluO",  I'll  be  bound  for  it." 

"  Our  master,  Sir  Nicholas  Throckmorton,  hath  better 
liq  Hang  thee,   Diggory,   what   dost  tread  on  my  toes 

for  !"  exclaimed  Peter  cutting  himself  short  in  the  middle  of 
his  speech,  and  making  an  exceeding  wry  face. 

"  Here's  the  money,  good  sir,"  said  Diggory  in  a  civil 
manner  to  his  host,  "  and  doubt  I  not  the  excellency  of  your 
liquor,  believe  me." 

"  I'll  believe  any  one  who  pays  without  being  asked  for  his 
reckoning,"  replied  Ephraim  Spigot  with  a  knowing  look  ; 
and  thereupon  proceeded  out  of  the  room. 

"  I  marvel  at  thee,  Peter,"  exclaimed  the  other,  immediately 
mine  host  had  turned  his  back,  "  thou  wouldst  have  begun  thy 
brawling  had  I  not  slopped  thee." 

"  'Slife  !  and  sliall  a  paltry  tapster  have  better  ale  than  our 
master  ?"  cried  Peter  indignantly.  "  By  goles,  I  could  out 
with  my  tool  and  beat  the  knave  into  shavings." 

*'  Prythee  be  quiet,  and  take  a  drink,"  said  Diggory. 

"  Well,  here's  to  thee,  and  confusion  to  all  beggarly  knaves 
that  cannot  fight  their  way,"  replied  his  companion,  taking  a 
liearty  swill  at  the  tankard. 

'•  How  look  the  roads  my  master  ?"  exclaimed  an  honest 
looking  yeoman  in  the  next  corner. 

*'  Why,  but  indifferently,  good  sir,"  responded  Diggory, 
with  a  like  civility.     "  Indeed,  I  may  say  that  ever  since  I 

16* 


186  SIIAKSPEARE 

left  the  lioiise  of  my  master,  Sir  Nicholas  Tlirock Hang 

thee,  Peter,  wiiat  dosl  pincli  me  so  for  ?"  crioii  he,  turning 
sharp  upon  the  otlier. 

*'  'Slii'e,  man,  thou  wert  a  saying  Sir  Nicholas  Throckmor- 
ton's name,  which  be  against  the  law,"  said  Peter  in  a  whis- 
per, which  was  overheard  by  every  one  in  the  room. 

"  Thou  didst  right  to  interrupt  me  then,"  replied  Diggory. 
*'  But  prylhee  don't  pincii  quite  so  hard  again,"  and  then  he 
took  a  jiearty  swill  at  the  tankard. 

"  All  that  be  not  seafaring  men  be  cowards  1"  cried  out  a 
drunken  boatswain,  as  he  woke  up  from  his  sleep  on  the 
bench. 

"  Thou  liest,  dog  !"  shouted  Peter,  drawing  out  his  rapier, 
*'  I  be  no  seafaring  man,  yet  will  I  prove  myself  valiant  upon 
thy  villanous  body." 

"  Have  at  thee,  then  !"  exclaimed  the  seaman,  endeavour- 
ing to  stand  up  and  draw  his  weapon. 

*'  Peter!  Peter!"  cried  Diggory,  beating  his  fist  against  the 
other's  back  to  make  him  attend.  "  Rememberest  thou  the 
law  ?  Peter,  I  say,  thou  knnwest  there  must  be  no  brawling. 
Put  up  thy  weapon,  Peter,  I  prythee  !" 

'*  For  shame  upon  you,  my  masters  !"  exclaimed  Simon 
Mainsail,  running  in  between  the  combatants,  and  assisting 
with  others  to  make  them  desist  of  tiieir  intended  violence  ; 
whilst  the  two  apprentices,  like  prudent  youths,  as  soon  as 
they  saw  there  was  like  to  be  a  fighting  with  swords,  took  to 
their  heels. 

"No  brawling,  1  pray  you,  my  masters!"  exclaimed  mine 
host,  rushing  into  the  room  as  if  with  a  fear  of  mischief. 

"  Make  not  an  honest  man's  house  a  place  for  the  shedding 
of  blood,"  cried  the  handicraftsman. 

"  Hang  him,  villain  !"  shouted  Peter,  endeavouring  to  get 
at  his  opponent,  who  was  held  from  him  by  the  bystanders. 
*'  Shall  he  call  me  a  coward  because  I  be  no  seafaring  man  ? 
He  lies  in  his  throat !     By  goles,  Pll  cut  off  his  ears  for't !" 

"  Peter  !  Peter,  1  say  !"  cried  Diggory,  pulling  and  thump- 
ing him  with  all  his  might. 

"  'Slife  !  man,  dost  want  to  pound  my  back  to  powder !" 
bawled  out  Peter  to  his  companion.  *'  I  will  let  out  my  valour 
upon  him.  Pll  cut  him  over  his  knave's  pate  at  least.  Nay, 
our  master.  Sir  Nicholas  Throck" 

"  Put  up  thy  weapon,  varlet,  this  instant!"  angrilyj  exclaim- 
ed Stephen  Shortcake  as  he  entered  the  room  and  seized  his 


AND    HIS    FRIENDS.  187 

uplifted  arm.  "  How  darest  ihou  draw  upon  any  man  ? 
Werl  not  expressly  forbid  to  brawl  and  to  meiiiion  names? 
and  1  leave  lliee  only  for  a  short  space,  and  find  ihee  a  doing 
of  both.     Up  with  thy  weapon,  or  thou  shall  rue  it." 

Peter  slowly  and  somewhat  reluctantly  put  away  his  rapier, 
and  the  friends  of  the  seafaring  man  huiried  him  out  of  the 
room. 

"  O'  my  life  thou  art  the  most  pestilent  knave  that  lives," 
cried  the  old  butler  to  the  pugnacious  serving-man.  "  Thou 
art  like  to  bring  us  all  into  trouble  by  thy  villanous  quarrel- 
someness. What  need  hadst  thou  with  a  drawn  weapon  in 
thy  hand  ;  nay,  I  marvel  hugely  that  thou  shouldst  be  allowed 
a  weapon  at  all." 

"  He  did  say  that  all  were  cowards  except  seafaring  men," 
replied  Peter  doggedly,  "  and  1  could  not  stand  by  and  dis- 
grace our  master  by  stomaching  it." 

"Thou  hast  disgraced  thy  master  as  it  is,"  said  Stephen 
Shortcake,  looking  very  wrath  at  him.  "  But  see  that  thou 
offend  not  again,  or  it  shall  go  hard  with  thee.  And  1  am 
ashamed  of  thee,  Diggory,  that  thou  shouldst  have  stood  by 
and  hindered  him  not,"  turning  sharp  round  upon  the  other. 

''  Nay,  I  do  assure  you,  I  did  essay  all  means  to  withhold 
him  from  it,"  answered  Diggory.  *'I  did  remind  him  that 
our  master,  Sir  Nicholas — Oh  !" 

"  Hang  thee,  thou  babbling  knave  !"  cried  the  enraged  old 
man,  as  he  seized  the  uncautious  Diggory  by  the  ear  ;  "  is 
this  the  way  thou  obeyest  thy  master's  orders  ?  O'  my  life, 
I  know  not  which  is  the  most  pestilent  villain  of  the  two. 
Now  I  charge  iliee  stay  here  till  1  return  ;  and  if  there  be  any 
more  prating,  or  the  least  stir  to  a  brawl,  at  thy  peril  be  it." 
So  saying,  Stephen  Shortcake  took  himself  out  of  the  room, 
leaving  the  two  serving-men  mightily  intent  upon  their  best 
behaviour,  and  the  rest  of  the  company  in  a  famous  marvelling 
at  the  strangeness  of  their  conduct.  He  then  proceeded  up  a 
winding  flight  of  stairs  to  the  first  landing,  where  there  was  a 
door,  at  the  which  he  knocked,  and  being  bid  come  in,  he  did 
enter  accordingly. 

"  Well,  good  Stephen,  what  news  have  you  ?"  inquired  the 
beautiful  youncr  wife  of  Sir  Waller  Raleigh,  who  sat  leaning 
on  her  arm  looking  out  of  the  casement,  attired  as  if  she  had 
but  just  come  oflf  a  journey. 

"Indeed,  sweet  mistress,  I  have  very  comfortable  news," 
replied  the  old  butler  respectfully.     "  1  did  make  inquiries  of 


188 


SHAKSPEARE 


divers  worsliipful  captains  and  men  of  the  sea,  and  some  have 
told  me  thai  they  know  for  certain  that  my  honoured  master 
is  on  board  a  vessel  lliat  hath  but  lately  come  in." 

'*  'Tis  comfortable  news  indeed,  Stephen,"  said  Dame 
Elizabeth,  brightening  up  exceedingly.  "  But  how  looks 
he  ?  Doth  he  ail  any  thing  ?  Hath  he  prospered  in  his  voy- 
age ?     When  shall  I  see  him?"  she  then  eagerly  inquired. 

"  Of  his  looks  I  could  learn  but  little,"  answered  Stephen 
Shortcake.  "  Seeing  that  I  have  mel  with  none  that  have 
had  speech  of  him  since  he  left  here;  and  of  his  voyage  I 
know  no  more,  for  tiiere  were  none  who  were  inftjrmed  of  it. 
And  as  for  when  you  shall  see  him,  sweet  mistress  !  me- 
thinks  'twill  not  be  long  first,  as  I  did  lose  no  time  in  des- 
patching a  trusty  boatman  with  your  note,  who  halh  promised 
me  to  use  all  speed,  and  to  give  it  into  Sir  Walter's  own 
hand." 

'*  Thanks,  good  Stephen  !"  exclaimed  she.  "  I  am  glad 
the  information  I  received  that  he  was  spoke  with  off  the 
coast,  hath  proved  correct;  for  the  rest,  I  doubt  not,  I  shall 
have  it  from  himself.  But  get  you  some  refreshmont,  good 
Stephen,  for  you  have  had  a  hard  ride,  and  doubtless  do  re- 
quire something." 

"  Nay,  if  it  please  you,  I  would  rather  be  a  getting  of  some 
dainty  for  yourself,"  observed  the  old  man.  "  For  you  have 
scarce  tasted  bit  or  sup  since  we  left  Aldgate." 

"  I  have  no  heart  for  any  thing  till  I  see  Sir  Walter,"  re- 
plied the  affectionate  woman.  "  But  I  thank  you  for  your 
painstaking ;  and  do  insist  upon  it,  you  presently  procure  for 
yourself  whatever  proper  thing  the  house  affords." 

"  I  thank  you  heartily,  sweet  mistress  !"  exclaimed  he, 
"and  will  haste  to  do  your  gracious  bidding." 

When  Stephen  Shortcake  had  left  the  room,  Dame  Eliza- 
beth turned  again  to  the  casement,  and  gazed  among  the 
vessels  as  if  with  a  hope  of  finding  out  the  ship  in  which  was 
her  beloved  husband.  All  at  once  she  did  behold  a  boat 
putting  oflf  from  one,  upon  which  she  kept  her  eyes,  as  it 
made  for  the  shore,  pleasing  herself  with  the  fancy,  that 
therein  might  be  him  she  most  wished  to  see.  She  could 
just  discern  two  persons  (besides  the  boatman),  one  of  whom, 
as  far  as  she  could  make  out  in  the  distance,  looked  the 
taller  and  nobler  of  the  two,  "'Tis  he!"  she  exclaimed 
joyfully,  as  she  thought  she  recognised  his  figure  ;  and  then 
added,  pressing  her  hands  over  her  throbbing  breast,  "  be 
still,  my  heart !" 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  189 

In  a  few  minutes  there  could  be  but  little  doubt  of  it — for 
the  one  she  had  observed,  as  if  noticing  her  at  the  casement, 
did  suddenly  stand  up  in  the  boat  and  whirl  his  hat  round 
and  round  his  head  ;  whereupon,  she  took  her  kerchief  and 
waved  it  in  the  air  ; — her  heart  all  the  whilst  seemingly  be- 
ing in  as  great  a  flutter.  Then  it  was  seen,  as  they  made  the 
land,  that  the  two  were  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  and  iMastcr 
Francis.  She  watched  them  very  earnestly  as  they  neared 
the  house,  and  when  she  lost  sight  of  them  she  rose  from  the 
casement — then  sat  herself  down  again, —  while  her  heart 
seemed  so  to  beat,  and  her  countenance  became  so  pale  and 
agitated  she  scarce  knew  what  to  do;  and  when  Sir  Wal- 
ter's quick  step  was  heard  upon  the  stairs,  she  could  only 
stand  by  catching  fast  hold  of  the  arm  of  the  chair,  the 
which  she  had  not  let  go  till  she  found  herself  ,within  the 
embrace  of  her  loving  husband. 

*'  After  all  said  and  done,  dear  Bess,"  said  Sir  Walter 
Raleigh,  when  they  had  exchanged  their  affectionate  greet- 
ings, "  I  think  we  shall  live  as  pleasant  a  life  of.  it  as  heart 
can  desire." 

"  I  hope  so,  dear  Walter,"  replied  his  beautiful  young  wife, 
"  yet  I  have  had  my  doubts.  There  have  been  rumours 
afloat  to  your  disadvantage,  which  have  given  me  infinite 
uneasiness,  and  I  oft  times  thought  that  our  marriage  had 
come  to  the  queen's  ears,  and  she  in  consequence  thereof, 
had  resolved  on  your  disgrace.  Indeed  it  made  me  exceed- 
ing sore  of  heart." 

"  Tush,  girl,  care  not  for  it  !"  exclaimed  Raleigh.  "  I  did 
hear  of  its  being  whispered  before  I  left  here,  and  thereat  did 
write  Cecil  an  ambiguous  letter  which,  methinks,  should  by 
this  time  have  put  an  end  to  all  rumours.  I  know  not  why 
it  is,  yet  have  I  been  marvellously  ill  used  in  the  matter  of 
this  expedition,  for  the  queen  kept  not  her  faith  with  me,  and 
hath  put  me  to  a  sore  trial  of  my  patience.  But  I  doubt  not 
the  great  success  that  hath  attended  this  adventure,  will  not 
only  create  in  her  majesty  a  desire  to  make  me  amends  for 
what  unkind  things  1  have  endured,  but  will  win  her  pardon 
for  having  married  without  her  approval." 

"Hast  had  great  success,  Walter?"  inquired  Dame  Eliza- 
beth anxiously. 

"Ay,  that  we  have,  sweet  Bess,"  he  replied.  "  'Tis  true 
I  have  most  unjustly  been  called  from  my  comm.and,  but  be- 
fore I  left  the  fleet  I  gave  orders  that  one  half  of  it,  with  one 


190  SHAKSPEARE 

of  the  queen's  ships  under  the  command  of  Sir  John  Burgh, 
should  cruise  off  the  coast  of  Spain,  while  Sir  Martin  Fro- 
bisher,  with  the  rest,  should  lay  in  wait  off  the  Azores ;  for 
1  had  great  expectation  that  there  we  should  have  the  good 
hap  to  intercept  the  Plate  fleet.  Weil,  I  have  so  long  been 
kept  back  by  contrary  winds,  that  as  1  entered  this  port,  I 
was  overtook  by  a  fast-sailing  vessel,  that  hath  assured  me 
on  credible  authority,  that  Frobisher's  squadron  fell  in  with 
the  Indian  ships  as  I  expected;  and  hath  taken  a  carrack  of 
the  burthen  of  1600  tons,  valued  at  half  a  million  sterling — 
which  most  assuredly,  is  the  largest  and  richest  prize  ever 
had  from  the  enemy." 

"  Indeed  that  doth  give  me  exceeding  comfort,"  cried  she 
very  joyfully. 

"  I  doubt  'twill  be  the  best  recommendation  to  the  queen  I 
have  been  able  to  show  this  many  a  day,"  added  Sir  Walter. 

"  I  do  think,  myself,  it  cometh  most  opportunely,"  observed 
his  devoted  wife.  "  It  hath  put  to  flight  all  my  foolish  fears, 
and  methinks  I  can  allow  myself  now  to  hope  that  all  will 
soon  be  well.  We  will  then  be  so  happy — so  very  happy, 
won't  we  dear  W^alter  1" 

"  Ay,  dearest,  without  a  doubt,"  he  replied. 

"  Open,  in  the  queen's  name  !"  shouted  out  the  voice  of 
one  who  beat  the  door  rudely. 

"  Ah  !"  screamed  Dame  Elizabeth,  starting  from  the  fond 
embrace  of  her  husband,  and  trembling  in  every  limb. 

"  Hush,  Bess,  'tis  nothing,"  said  Sir  Walter  in  an  encou- 
]'aging  tone,  and  went  to  open  the  door.  "  Ha,  Sir  George 
Carew,  right  welcome  !"  he  added,  as  he  noticed  who  it  was 
that  disturbed  them  ;  and  then  one  of  a  military  appearance, 
and  somewhat  serious  countenance,  walked  into  the  room 
with  his  rapier  drawn. 

"  I  am  sorry  that  I  am  come  of  so  unwelcome  an  errand," 
said  he.  "  But  I  have  the  queen's  commandment  to  arrest 
you.  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  and  you,  Mistress  Elizabeth,  and 
convey  you  prisoners  to  the  Tower." 

"  Ah,  I  vt'as  afraid  of  this — I  have  ruined  thee,"  exclaimed 
Dame  Elizabeth  in  a  piteous  accent,  as  she  fell  sobbing  on 
his  shoulder. 

"  Bess !"  cried  Sir  Walter  in  a  grave  voice,  as  he  lifted 
her  from  him,  and  looked  reprovingly  in  her  face.  "  Remem- 
ber, that  thou  art  my  wife  !" 

No  sooner  had  these  words  been  spoken  than  the  beautiful 


AND  HI3  FRIENDS.  191 

woman,  as  if  with  a  sudden  effort  to  conquer  her  feelings, 
cast  back  her  head  proudly  ;  and  walking  with  a  truly  ma- 
jestic carriage  up  to  Sir  George  Carew,  said  in  a  firm  voice, 
♦*  1  am  ready,  Sir." 


CHAPTER  XIIL 

Other  sins  only  speak,  murder  shrieks  out. 

The  elements  of  water  moisten  the  earth, 

But  blood  flies  upwards  and  bedews  the  lieavens. 

Weijstek. 

This  yellow  slave 

Will  knit  and  break  religion  ;  bless  the  accursed  ; 
Make  the  hoar  leprosy  adored  !   place  thieves. 
And  give  them  title,  knee,  and  approbation, 
AVith  senators  on  the  bench. 

Shaksprare. 

There  is  the  murderer,  for  ever  stabbed — 

Yet  can  he  never  die.  Ford. 

The  miser  of  St.  Mary  Axe  sat  in  a  worm-eaten  arm- 
chair, in  a  narrow  chamber,  of  comfortless  and  mean  ap- 
pearance, before  a  table  on  which  were  sundry  parcels  wrapt 
up  in  dirty  bits  of  rag,  and  a  pair  of  small  scales ;  and  he 
was  engaged  in  counting  out  a  store  of  gold  pieces  from  an 
old  stocking.  His  face  looked  somewhat  sickly,  and  his 
eyes  yellowish  ;  and  his  hands  shook  much  as  he  handled 
his  treasures.  There  was  a  window  in  the  room,  but  it 
was  so  covered  with  dirt,  and  the  broken  panes  so  pasted 
over  with  parchm.ent,  that  it  gave  only  sufficient  light  to 
discern  the  squalidness  and  filth  of  the  place,  one  or  two 
broken  chairs,  a  rickety  table,  some  bundles  of  papers  co- 
vered with  dust,  a  great  chest,  with  a  padlock,  that  stood 
open  behind  him,  and  himself^the  owner  of  all.  Beside  his 
usual  dress,  which  never  varied,  be  had  on  his  spectacles, 
with  which  he  carefully  scrutinised  every  coin,  and  weighed 
some;  now  and  then  giving  quick  suspicious  glances  around 
the  room,  and  starting  fearfully  at  every  little  noise.  It  is 
not  to  be  supposed  that  he  held  his  peace,  for  he  did  talk 
continually,  as  if  for  company  ;  and  on  divers  subjects,  much 
at  the  same  time,  like  unto  one  whose  mind  wandered  some- 
what. 


192  SKAKSPEARE 

"Forty-nine — fifty,"  said  he  closely  examining  the  last 
piece  he  had  taken  from  the  stocking.  "  Methinks  this  be 
exceeding  light.  It  hath  been  clipped,  doubtless.  Mayhap 
it  hath  been  in  the  hands  of  some  vile  Jew  1  No  matter — it 
must  with  the  rest.  Alack !  how  my  head  do  ache  !  Fifty- 
one — fifty-two.  What  a  dolt  have  I  been  to  drink  so  much 
of  his  villanous  ale,  knowing  that  it  doth  ever  get  into  my 
pate!  Fifty-three — fifty-four.  That  Geoffrey  Sarsnet  be  a  most 
ungodly  varlet — he  liketh  not  the  hundreth  psalm  !  Fifty-five 
— Fifty-six.  Ha  I  this  has  a  crack  in  it,  sure  enough.  And 
that  he  be  a  knave  there  can  be  no  question,  seeing  how  he 
entertained  my  proposal  of  marrying  Joanna ;  and  doth 
allow  her  to  retain  the  many  costly  things  she  has  tricked 

me  of     Fifty this  be  rather  of  a  dull  colour.     Certes,  I 

have  had  a  good  escape  from  that  seductive  Jezebel.  Fifty- 
seven — fifty-eight.  But  she  hath  most  shamefully  cozened 
me.  I  am  glad  I  am  quit  of  her.  Fifty-nine — here  be  as 
clean  a  face  as  if  'twas  fresh  from  the  mint.  Oh,  that  I 
could  make  her  give  up  that  which  she  hath  robbed  me  of! 
Sixt Ha  ! — what  noise  be  that  ]" 

The  old  miser  looked  about  him  very  earnestly,  and  lis- 
tened in  a  great  tremble — for  some  sort  of  noise  was  heard. 

"  It  be  the  wind,  doubtless,"  continued  he,  "  for  it  doth  at 
times  make  great  disturbances.  Sixty-one — sixty-two.  I 
marvel  what  hath  become  of  my  pestilent  nephew  ;  but  I  am 
hugely  delighted  that  he  hath  taken  himself  off.  I  did  think 
he  had  robbed  me,  knowing  he  be  a  most  dishonest  caitiff — 
as  instance  the  excellent  candle-ends  he  stole  of  me ;  but  I 
have  searched,  and  missed  nothing.  Sixty-three — surely 
this  piece  be  not  good — it  hath  such  a  marvellous  copper 
look  with  it. — If  any  one  were  to  give  him  a  knock  on  his 
knave's  pate  now,  then  should  I  be  rid  of  all  fear.  But  it  be 
the  right  weight  to  a  hair.  Sixty-four — sixty-five.  He  hath 
been  monstrously  urgent  concerning  of  his  father,  yet  hath 
he  got  nothing  of  the  truth  from  me,  for  all  his  blustering. 
Sixty-six.  'Twould  be  most  unnatural  were  one  of  my 
years  unable  to  deceive  such  a  boy  as  that.  Sixty-seven — 
sixty-eight.  He  doth  not  like  the  hundredth  psalm,  the  re- 
probate !  and  as  for  her,  she  be  the  impudentest  baggage 
that  lives.  I  would  I  could  get  back  what  she  hath  so  infa- 
mously cozened  of  me  !  Sixty-nine — seventy.  That  be  just 
right ;"  he  added,  as  he  proceeded  to  put  his  store  of  gold 
back  by  handfuls  into  the  old  stocking ;  and  whilst  he  did 
so  his  eyes  seemed  to  glisten  with  exceeding  gratification. 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  193 

"  'Tis  well  I  married  not  that  vilJanous  jade — a  murrain 
on  her  I"  exclaimed  he,  "  Else  the  infinite  pleasure  I  find  in 
such  brave  sight  as  this,  should  I  not  know  for  long  ;  for  all 
would  go  to  satisfy  her  prodigal  humours.  What  a  dolt 
was  I  to  let  her  have  of  me  such  store  of  costly  things ;  and 
he  such  an  ungodly  wretch  as  not  to  like  the  hundredth 
psalm  !  My  head  doth  seem  to  split  of  this  aching.  Oh, 
'tis  an  exquisite  fine  sight  to  see  so  much  lovely  gold!" 

"  ""Tis  an  exquisite  fine  sight,  indeed  !"  said  a  gruff  voice, 
at  his  elbow. 

"  Mur — mur — mur — mur — murder  !"  screamed  Gregory 
Vellum,  as  loud  as  his  fright  would  allow,  and  letting  drop 
some  of  the  gold  upon  noticing  two  fierce-looking  men 
standing  over  him,  regarding  his  treasures  with  eyes  kindling 
with  excessive  covetousness. 

"  Take  that  for  thy  bawling  !"  exclaimed  one,  hitting  him 
sharp  over  the  pate  with  the  pommel  of  his  dagger,  "and 
if  thou  brealhest  but  a  sound  loud  enough  to  be  heard  within 
a  yard  of  thee,  I'll  slit  thy  weasan  the  same  minute." 

"  Nay,  what  be  the  use  of  sparing  such  an  old  hunks," 
observed  the  other,  who  looked  the  most  desperate  cut-throat 
of  the  two.  "  Let  me  give  him  a  dig  in  the  ribs,  'twill  do 
his  business  for  him,  I'll  warrant." 

"  'Sblood !  be  not  such  a  fool,  Tony,"  replied  the  other, 
sharply.  "  He  hath  more  hoards  than  what  we  see ;  and 
how  shall  we  find  'em,  if  we  make  him  not  point  'em  out  to 
us  ?" 

*' True,  Jack?"  responded  the  other.  "So  let's  bind  him 
whilst  we  secure  the  prog  around,  ihen  will  we  make  liim  tell 
where  lieth  the  rest."  Then  these  villains  bound  the  miser, 
with  cords,  to  the  chair  on  which  he  sal ;  he,  too  frightened 
either  to  move  or  speak,  made  no  noise,  save  that  of  his  teeth 
chattering  together,  and  rolling  of  his  eyes  (from  which  the 
spectacles  had  fallen,)  with  extreme  fear,  as  he  turned  his 
looks  from  one  to  the  other. 

"  'Slife  !  this  be  a  proper  windfall,  Tony  !"  cried  he  that 
was  called  Jack,  as  he  proceeded  to  pour  into  his  hat  the  con- 
tents of  the  stocking.  "  But  I  did  tell  thee  the  old  miser  was 
a  bird  worth  the  plucking." 

"  So  thou  didst,  bully  rook  !"  answered  Tony.  "  But  let 
us  count  all  the  coin  into  thy  hat,  that  we  may  the  easier  di- 
vide it." 

"  That  will  uot  I,"  replied   the  other,  with  a  loud  laugh. 

VOL.  I.  17 


194  SHAKSPEARE 

•♦  Find  a  stocking  for  thyself,  man,  and  mayhap  it  shall  fit 
thee  as  doth  this  me." 

*•  What,  shall  we  not  share  alike  and  be  hanged  to  thee?'* 
asked  Tony,  fiercely,  as  he  undid  one  of  the  parcels  done  up 
in  a  dirty  rag.  "  Nay,  I  care  not,"  he  added,  and  instantly 
swept  all  the  parcels  into  his  hat.  *'  Each  of  these  be  full  of 
Harry  the  Eighth's  nobles." 

*'  Nay,  then,  let  us  share,  Tony,"  cried  Jack,  his  forbid- 
ding visage  now  seeming  disturbed  at  the  other's  greater  good 
fortune,  "  'iwas  but  a  jest  of  mine." 

'*  'Sblood  !  I  care  not,  jest  or  no  jest!''  responded  Tony 
with  a  chuckle  of  satisfaction,  as  he  poured  out  the  contents 
of  each  dirty  rag.  "  Keep  to  thy  slocking — I'll  keep  to  my 
rags." 

"  Hang  thee  for  a  villain  !"  muttered  the  other,  and  then 
turning  round,  went  straight  to  the  open  chest,  the  which  see- 
ing, made  the  old  miser  utter  a  faint  exclamation — a  sort  of 
wailing  that  denoted  both  terror  and  despair. 

"  'Slife  !  art  weary  of  thy  life  ?"  exclaimed  Jack,  threaten- 
ing the  trembling  scrivener  with  his  drawn  dagger,  which  he 
held  as  if  about  to  plunge  into  the  old  man's  side,  and  giving 
him  a  look  which  seemed  to  make  his  very  blood  turn  cold 
within  him. 

"  Here  be  the  best  prize  of  all !"  cried  Jack,  as  he  began 
searching  of  llie  chest. 

"Ha!  what  hast  got?"  inquired  Tony,  hastening  to  the 
side  of  his  companion.  *'  I'faiih,  Jack,  this  be  a  prize  in- 
deed I"  continued  he,  as  following  the  other's  example,  he 
eagerly  commenced  bawling  out  of  the  chest  divers  pieces  of 
rich  silver  plate,  such  as  candlesticks,  tankards,  drinking  cups, 
plates,  and  the  like,  whereof  eacli  appropriated  as  much  as  he 
could  lay  his  hands  on  ;  yet  seemed  he  to  grumble  much  at 
whatever  his  associate  did  get  into  his  possession.  The  spi- 
rit of  avarice  was  at  work  in  the  hearts  of  both,  and  the  great 
wealth  each  one  found  himself  possessed  of,  only  made  him 
all  the  greedier  to  have  more. 

"  If  this  be  not  the  making  of  us  for  life,  I  know  not  what 
filching  means,"  observed  one,  with  his  eyes  glowing  with 
unlawful  pleasure  at  the  costliness  of  the  spoil  he  was  making 
his  own. 

"  We  will  turn  honest  upon  the  strength  of  it,"  said  the 
other,  equally  busy  at  his  work.  "We  will  buy  us  some 
place  of  lordship,  in  the  country,  and  swagger  it  as  bravely  as 
any  knight  of  the  shire." 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  195 

"  And  why  not  become  parliament  men  ?"  asked  tlie  first. 
*'  They  that  have  been  knights  of  the  post  will  make  better 
knights  of  the  sliiie  than  any,  seeing  that  they  be  marvellous 
skilful  in  fingering  the  people's  money." 

"  Ha  !  ha  ! — that  be  true  enough,"  exclaimed  his  com- 
panion. "  So  knights  of  the  shire  we  must  needs  become; 
and  then  will  we  have  a  law  made  that  rogues  shall  be  pro- 
tected in  their  calling  till  they  turn  honest." 

"  Oh  '"  groaned  Gregory  Vellum  in  all  a  miser's  agony,  as 
he  beheld  his  secret  treasures  passing  away  from  his  custody. 

"Ha!  What,  dost  move? — dost  breathe?"  cried  Jack, 
scowling  at  him  so  ferociously  that  it  did  set  his  teeth  a  chat- 
tering all  the  more. 

"  'Slife  '.—let's  finish  him  at  once,"  said  Tony.  "  Then 
will  he  tell  no  tales.  Methinks  we  shall  have  enough  to  do  to 
get  away  what  we  have  found  without  seeking  for  more." 

"I  tell  thee  we  will  pluck  him  bare  first,"  replied  the  other 
ferociously.  ♦*  Such  a  prize  comes  not  in  our  way  oft,  there- 
fore are  we  the  more  bound  to  make  the  most  of  it  we  can. 
For  mine  own  part,  I'll  risk  Tyburn  rather  than  leave  him 
so  much  as  would  keep  his  miserly  old  carcass  for  an  hour." 

•'  Well,  hang  him  for  a  villain,  I  care  not,"  observed  his 
associate.  "  But  what  have  we  here  ?"  he  added,  as  on  put- 
ting his  hand  into  a  goblet  he  did  bring  out  of  it  sundry  gold 
rings,  with  precious  stones  therein. 

"  Nay,  I  must  have  some  of  those  !"  cried  Jack,  making  a 
snatch  at  them. 

"  I'll  see  thee  hanged  ere  I  will  let  thee,"  replied  Tony, 
quickly  placing  the  goblet  out  of  the  other's  reach. 

"  'Sblood  ! — but  I  will  be  even  with  thee  !"  muttered  his 
associate,  regarding  him  with  a  threatening  visage,  which  he 
seemed  in  no  way  to  heed. 

"  Tush  ! — what  care  I  !"  said  the  other.  "  Find  a  goblet 
for  thyself,  and  niijyhap  thou  shalt  have  good  store  of  jewel- 
lery in  it." 

"  J^'^y  greediness  is  properly  punislied — for  see  !  here  be 
something  worth  more  than  all  the  paltry  rings."  And,  as 
he  opened  a  jewel-case,  he  exhibited  a  cosily  necklace  of 
pearls  set  in  fine  gold. 

"  I  had  mine  eyes  on  that  ere  thou  didst  lay  a  finger  on't," 
said  Tony,  exceedingly  vexed  that  he  had  missed  so  fair  a 
prize. 

"  Tush  !  what  care  I  ?"  replied  Jack,  in  the  very  words 
his  associate  had  used  a  moment  since. 


190  .  SHAKSPEARE 

"  Wilt  let  me  have  no  share  in't  ?"  asked  the  first  staring 
on  the  jewel  and  then  on  the  thief  with  eyes  of  devilish  co- 
vetousness  and  malice. 

"Share  in't!"  exclaimed  the  other  with  a  scornful  laugh. 
"  Not  so  much  as  would  buy  thee  a  rope  to  hang  thyself 
with." 

*'  Then  take  that !"  cried  Tony,  thrusting  his  dagger  at  him. 

"  What ! — wouldststab,  villain  ?"  shouted  Jack,  starting  up 
in  a  monstrous  rage  on  finding  himself  wounded.  "  Then 
here's  at  thee." 

*'  And  that — and  that!"  continued  his  companion,  repeating 
his  blows,  which  the  other  tried  to  ward  off. 

*'  Murderous  devil — I  had  thee  there  !"  exclaimed  the  other, 
as  he  succeeded  in  digging  his  weapon  into  his  opponent's 
shoulder ;  and  thereupon  commenced  the  most  sanguinary 
fight  that  ever  was  seen  ;  for  the  two  villains,  smarting  with 
pain  and  rage,  and  driven  on  by  extreme  thirst  for  gain,  did 
follow  each  other  round  and  about  the  room,  cutting  furiously 
one  at  the  other's  flesh,  with  abundance  of  curses  and  execra- 
tions,— their  looks  all  the  while  being  more  resembling  those 
of  fiends  than  of  any  thing  human,  and  their  bodies  stream- 
ing with  gore  from  their  different  wounds.  Gregory  Vellum, 
half  dead  with  fright,  stared  upon  the  spectacle  with  eyes 
ready  to  start  from  his  head  ;  his  teeth  chattered  as  if  there 
was  no  keeping  them  quiet;  and  at  every  blow  that  was 
struck  he  gave  a  wince  as  if  the  weapon  entered  his  own 
flesh.  They  passed  him  close  several  times,  and  one  striking 
furiously  at  the  other  upon  the  moment,  some  blood  did  spirt 
over  his  face,  at  the  which  he  seemed  ready  to  give  up  the 
ghoet,  he  uttered  so  pitiful  a  scream.  This  might  have 
brought  on  him  more  dreadful  punishment  from  the  two  rob- 
bers ;  yet  were  they  so  fired  by  their  mutual  hatred  one  of 
the  other,  and  each  so  eager  to  destroy  his  associate,  that  nei- 
ther did  take  of  him  the  slightest  notice. 

All  on  a  sudden,  having  dropped  their  daggers,  they  had 
got  locked  in  each  other's  clutch,  pulling  here  and  pulling 
there,  tearing  at  each  other's  hair,  and  giving  blows  with 
all  their  strength,  when  tumbling  over  something,  both  came 
to  the  ground  together  and  began  rolling  over  and  over, 
swearing  horribly,  and  striving  to  bite  at  each  other's  faces. 
Surely  never  were  two  such  incarnate  demons  seen.  There 
appeared  to  be  nothing  human  of  them,  and  the  mutual 
deadliness  of  thek  hatred  was  terrible  to  look  upon. 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  197 

"  To  hell  with  thee  for  a  monstrous  murderous  villain  as 
thou  art :"  cried  Jack,  who  having  recovered  his  weapon  as 
he  passed  over  it,  had  plunged  it  into  Tony's  breast  as  he 
lay  upon  him.  Tiie  other  raised  his  head  as  if  with  one  last 
effort,  and  fixed  his  teeth  in  the  cheek  of  his  murderer. 

"  Ah  !"  screamed  he  in  agony,  letting  his  head  fall  with 
that  of  his  companion.  "  Unclose  thy  villanous  teeth !" 
Jack  then  stabbed  the  other  several  times  whilst  writhing 
above  him  with  the  pain,  expecting  to  get  free  thereby;  but 
he  was  in  the  gripe  of  the  dead,  and  all  his  cutting  and 
screaming  availed  him  none  at  all.  The  torture  he  endured 
must  have  been  fearful,  for  the  perspiration  run  down  over 
his  face  in  a  thick  shower,  as  he  sometimes  was  cursing 
dreadfully,  sometimes  making  very  pitiful  moanings.  At 
last,  as  if  unable  to  bear  it  any  longer,  he  thrust  his  dagger 
into  the  dead  man's  mouth,  unlocked  his  jaws,  and  freed  Ijis 
own  lacerated  face. 

"  A  murrain  on  thee,  thou  pestilent  villain  !"  exclaimed 
the  survivor,  casting  wrathful  glances  at  his  fallen  comrade, 
"  if  thou  hadst  any  life  in  thy  treacherous  body,  I  would 
hack  thee  into  shreds  for  having  so  spoilt  my  face :  but  I  have 
mauled  thee  beyond  all  hope,  that's  one  comfort.  'Slife — 
how  I  do  bleed  I"  he  added,  as  he  looked  to  his  hurts,  which 
were  by  no  means  slight  or  few,  and  did  attempt  to  bandage 
them.  "  This  dig  in  my  side,  methinks,  hath  an  ugly  look. 
Alack,  what  a  thrice  cursed  knave  hast  thou  been,  Tony ! 
and  a  fool  to  boot.  Not  content  with  thine  own  gettings, 
thou  didst  covet  mine ;  and  now  I  have  all." 

"  Oh  I"  groaned  the  old  miser. 

"  What !  dost  attempt  to  give  the  alarm  1"  cried  out  the 
robber.  "  Nay,  then  will  I  settle  thee  at  once."  He  rose 
with  his  dagger  in  his  hand,  as  if  to  put  his  threat  into  exe- 
cution, but  his  foot  slipped  in  the  blood  that  had  dabbled  the 
boards,  and  in  falling  he  burst  the  bandage  he  had  tied  over 
his  wound  in  the  side,  which  began  to  bleed  afresh.  At  this 
he  renewed  his  execrations,  and  again  essayed  to  stop  the 
hemorrhage ;  but  he  seemed  to  be  getting  weaker  rapidly, 
his  hands  were  exceeding  unsteady,  and  his  eyes  appeared 
to  swim  in  their  sockets.  "  O,  I  be  deadly  sick  !"  he  ex- 
claimed in  a  faint  voice,  as  he  supported  himself  on  one 
hand,  sitting  on  the  floor ;  thereat  his  head  drooped  on  his 
shoulder,  his  arm  gave  way  from  under  him ;  and  he  fell 
smack  upon  his  back  with  a  loud  groan. 

17* 


198  SHAKSPEARE 

Gregory  Vellum  liad  watched  tlie  struggles  of  the  sur- 
viving villain  with  mingled  horror  and  fright — for  a  more 
ghastly  object  never  presented  itself  to  the  eye — his  face 
being  so  dreadfully  disfigured  and  covered  with  dust  and 
gore,  from  amid  which  the  ferocious  expression  of  his  eyes 
glared  upon  the  trembling  scrivener,  whenever  he  turned  in 
that  direction,  in  a  manner  so  terrible,  that  it  made  him  feci 
as  if  his  heart  was  bursting  in  twain.  Seeing  him  fall  and 
lie  motionless,  he  did  think  he  was  dead,  the  thought  whereof 
gave  him  inexpressible  comfort;  but  not  liking  the  idea  of 
being  kept  bound  close  to  two  dead  men,  he  presently  began 
to  scream  at  the  very  top  of  his  voice,  hoping  that  some 
of  the  neighbours  would  come  to  his  assistance.  He  had 
scarce  done  this,  when  the  robber  who  had  swooned  raised 
himself,  and  fixed  upon  the  miser  a  look  so  threatening  and 
ghastly,  that  he  presently  drew  in  his  breath,  as  if  his  last 
hour  had  come ;  but  he  could  in  no  manner  draw  away  his 
gaze  from  the  villain's  horrible  stare,  and  there  he  sat  staring 
at  him,  with  his  teeth  knocking  against  each  other,  and  every 
limb  a  trembling  like  unto  one  in  a  mortal  agony. 

Presently  he  heard  some  sort  of  a  noise  below  stairs,  at 
the  which  he  gave  a  sudden  gasp ;  but  the  terrible  eyes  of 
the  dying  robber  did  then  glare  upon  him  so  ghostlike,  that 
he  dared  not  make  a  sound,  and  felt  that  he  could  not  if  he 
dared. 

"Uncle!  uncle!  where  are  you?"  he  heard  cried  out  to 
him,  and  though  he  recognised  the  voice  of  his  nephew, 
whom  a  short  time  since  he  would  not  have  cared  to  see 
hanged,  it  now  seemed  to  him  the  voice  of  an  angel  from 
Heaven ;  and  he  was  about  to  reply,  when  the  robber 
crawled  a  bit  nearer,  with  his  dreadful  dagger  in  his  hand, 
the  sight  whereof  put  him  into  so  monstrous  a  sweat  that 
he  felt  himself  drenched  all  over.  Still  the  dying  villain 
crawled  slowly  towards  him,  dragging  his  wounded  body 
along  by  his  hands ;  and  though  at  the  same  time  Gregory 
heard  his  nephew's  foot  upon  the  stair,  the  villain  was  so 
nigh  tipon  him,  having  got  his  hand  upon  the  bottom  rail  of 
his  chair  to  raise  himself  up,  with  his  disfigured  face,  and 
terrible  eyes,  seemingly  possessed  of  a  thousand  new  hor- 
rors, upon  a  level  with  his  knees,  that  knocked  against  each 
other  most  deplorably,  he  did  give  himself  up  for  lost;  and 
when  he  found  the  ghastly  countenance  close  to  his  own 
face,  and  the  fearful  weapon  uplifted  over  his  breast,  his 
heart  sunk  within  him,  and  he  swooned  outright. 


AND  HI?   FRIENDS.  190 

Master  Francis,  coming  to  visit  his  kinsman,  to  see  if  he 
could  gain  of  him  any  intelligence  of  his  father,  and  finding 
the  door  ajar,  and  seeing  that  his  kinsman  was  not  below 
stairs,  he  did  rail  out  ;  but  receiving  no  answer,  mounted  to  a 
room  he  knew  of  old  he  was  oft  to  be  found  when  wanted. 
At  opening  the  door,  a  siorht  presented  itself  to  him,  the  like 
of  which,  surely,  he  had  never  seen.  There  was  the  room 
as  unsightly  as  a  shamble,  and  strewed  all  about  with  coin, 
jewels,  plate,  and  most  precious  things,  which  the  robbers,  in 
their  scuffle,  had  rolled  over  and  over,  and  knocked  in  all  di- 
rections— one  man  lay  dead,  and  another — the  frighlfullest 
object  his  eye  ever  lighted  on — supporting  himself  on  the 
chair  with  one  arm,  had  the  other  raised  clasping  a  blood- 
stained dagger,  which  was  descending  in  the  direction  of  the 
lieart  of  his  kinsman,  who  already  looked  more  dead  than 
alive.  Ai  the  robber  he  made  a  rush  upon  the  instant,  and 
■caught  him  by  the  back  of  his  jerkin  at  the  scuff  of  the  neck, 
in  the  very  nick  of  time  to  save  the  old  miser's  life  ;  and 
dragged  him  from  the  chair  a  distance  of  some  yards,  and 
flung  him  heavily  on  the  boards,  The  dying  villain  did  glare 
on  Master  Francis  with  a  look  so  terrible  that  he  could  never 
forget  it — the  weapon  fell  from  his  hand — he  gave  one  mighty 
shiver  in  all  his  limbs,  then  was  there  a  hollow  rattling  in  his 
throat,  which  lasted  but  a  few  seconds;  and  then  he  lay  as 
dead  as  any  stone. 

The  youth,  in  a  monstrous  marvel  at  the  whole  scene,  more 
especially,  at  seeing  such  a  store  of  precious  things  lying 
scattered  about  as  if  of  no  sort  of  value,  did  presently  cut 
with  his  own  dagger,  the  cords  that  bound  his  kinsman,  think- 
ing at  first,  that  lie  was  as  dead  as  the  others — but  in  some 
minutes,  after  calling  to  him  a  bit,  the  old  man  opened  his 
eyes  very  fearfully,  and  with  a  great  wildness  ;  but,  they 
lighting  upon  his  nephew,  who,  very  concernedly,  was  as- 
suring him  of  his  safely,  he  did  grow  more  composed  ;  and, 
upon  looking  about  and  seeing  of  his  treasures  so  scattered, 
he  started  up  with  a  suddenness  that  nearly  upset  Master 
Francis,  and,  as  if  ailing  nothing,  he  began  to  gather  up  his 
riches. 

*' Oh,  these  devilish  villains!"  exclaimed  he  to  the  won- 
dering youth.  "  They  did  break  in  upon  me — having  got 
entrance  I  know  not  how,  and,  after  binding  and  threatening 
of  me,  proceeded  to  rifle  me  of  these  valuables  ;  which  an 
honest  friend  hath  left  in  my  custody — for  thou  knowest  they 


200  SHAKSrEARE 

cannot  be  mine,  seeing  I  be  so 'exceeding]  poor ;  and  then 
falling  out  upon  iheir  division,  did  straiglilway  go  to  murder- 
ing of  each  other.  When  one  had  killed  his  companion,  the 
survivor  though  sorely  wounded  liimself,  like  a  murderous 
villain  as  he  was,  made  towards  me  with  his  dagger  to  kill 
me,  the  which  thou  didst  luckily  prevent  by  thy  coming  in. 
But  they  have  given  me  a  most  mortal  friglit." 

"Indeed  you  have  had  a  narrow  escape,  uncle,"  observed 
Master  Francis. 

"  Ay,  have  I,"  replied  the  old  miser,  very  carefully  wiping 
of  every  thing  that  had  got  in  any  way  stained.  "  And  I  give 
God  thanks  for  it — more  especially  for  the  saving  of  the 
honest  man's  goods  ;  who,  had  he  suffered  aught,  might,  per- 
adventure,  have  wanted  me  to  make  up  his  loss  ;  the  which 
thou  knowest  I  could  never  do,  being  in  so  poor  a  state  that  I 
can  scarce  get  enough  to  live  by.  But  take  heed  that  you 
give  no  hint  I  have  these  things  in  my  custody,  else  the  re- 
port thereof  may  bring  other  murderous  thieves  upon  me, 
and  not  only  shall  I  be  like  to  be  robbed  of  my  life,  but  all 
this  goodly  store  I  may  be  despoiled  of,  as  I  was  but  now  like 
to  be;  which  doubtless,  would  be  the  utter  ruin  of  the  honest 
man  who  hath  placed  them  in  my  keeping." 

"Be  assured  I  shall  say  nothing,"  replied  the  youth.  "But 
shall  I  not  assist  you  in  gathering  them  up?" 

"  Nay,  touch  them  not,  I  prythee !"  quickly  cried  out 
Gregory  Vellum  in  great  alarm,  and  casting  a  suspicious 
glance  at  his  nephew,  as  if  doubtful  of  the  honesty  of  his 
intentions.     "I  will  look  to  them  myself." 

**  Well,  let  it  be  as  you  like,  uncle,"  said  Master  Francis, 
in  no  way  offended,  for  he  had  much  experience  of  his  kins- 
man's suspicious  temper  ;  besides,  he  wanted  not  to  anger 
him,  by  taking  offence  at  aught  he  might  do,  as  he  had  an  ob- 
ject to  gain  thereby,  the  obtaining  of  which,  was  to  him  of 
the  greatest  interest. 

"  But  where  hast  thou  been  all  this  lime  ?"  inquired  his 
uncle  after  a  short  silence — still  employing  himself  diligently 
in  wiping  the  plate  and  jewels,  and  replacing  them  in  the 
chest.  "  Thou  didst  leave  me  of  a  sudden,  without  why  or 
wherefore." 

"  Methought  'twas  time  to  do  something  for  myself,"  an- 
swered the  youth,  "  and  not  any  longer  to  be  a  burthen  to 
you,  who  seemed  to  lack  either  the  will  or  the  means  to  make 
my  life  of  any  comfort" — 


AND  HIS   FRIENDS.  201 

**  The  means,  Francis — the  means,"  said  tlie  o!d  man, 
quickly  interrupting  him.  "'Twas  the  means  I  laci^ed.  In- 
deed 1  be  exceeding  poor." 

"  By  the  recommendation  of  a  trne  friend,  I  did  accident- 
ally as  it  were,  encounter,"  continued  his  nephew,  "  I  suc- 
ceeded in  getting  the  respectable  office  of  secretary  to  one  of 
our  chiefest  men  at  court." 

*' Truly  thou  seemest  in  very  fine  feather,"  remarked  Gre- 
gory Vellum,  somewhat  sarcastically,  as  he  turned  to  notice 
the  handsome  apparelling  of  his  youthful  relative  ;  "  I  war- 
rant me  thou  will  spend  on  thy  back  all  that  thou  earnest. 
Well,  I  care  not,  so  that  thou  comest  not  back  on  my  hands." 

"  But  I  came  to  beg  a  favour  of  you,  uncle,"  said  Master 
Francis. 

"  Nay,  ask  of  me  nothing,"  hastily  replied  the  old  miser, 
as  he  left  off  counting  the  gold  pieces  into  the  old  stocking  ; 
"  I  have  scarce  wherewith  to  live;  I  cannot  let  thee  have  a 
groat.  Thou  hast  taken  thyself  off,  and  must  fare  as  thou 
canst;  so  come  not  a  begging,  for  it  be  of  no  manner  of  use, 
I  be  so  exceeding  poor,  as  thou  knowest." 

*'l  want  not  money  of  you,"  observed  the  youth  ;  "I  have 
enough  for  my  wants,  and  my  patron  doth  not  let  me  lack 
aught  liis  power  or  purse  can  procure.  I  seek  of  you  only 
that  you  will  truly  tell  me  who  was  my  father." 

"  What  dost  come  a  worrying  me  of  thy  father  1"  asked 
the  scrivener,  with  a  disturbed  countenance,  as  he  quickly 
caught  hold  of  some  parchments  that  were  nigh  unto  him, 
and  placed  them  at  once  in  the  chest.  "  I  know  naught  of 
him  that  be  worth  the  knowing ;  he  was  some  paltry  fellow 
or  other — a  very  mean  person." 

"  Was  he  married  to  my  mother  ?"  inquired  his  nephew, 
more  earnestly. 

"  Prythee  question  me  not,"  replied  the  old  man,  seem- 
ingly taking  it  very  uneasily.  "It  matters  not  at  all;  I 
cannot  be  answering  of  thy  unprofitable  queries.  It  be  of 
no  consequence  whether  he  had  her  in  marriage  or  other- 
wise, for  he  was  a  monstrous  paltry  fellow  at  all  events." 

"  Indeed  it  be  of  vital  consequence  to  me,"  cried  the  youth, 
in  an  increasing  agitation;  "I  pray  you,  uncle,  tell  me  the 
truth." 

"  Well,  then,  if  thou  wilt  have  it,  I  will  tell  thee,"  an- 
swered the  scrivener,  "  I  have  kept  it  from  the  world,  and 


202  SHAKSPEARE 

given  out  otherwise,  for  the  sake  of  my  sister's  reputation ; 
but  I  can  tell  thee  of  a  certainty  that  thou  art  illegitimate." 

"  Ah  !  I  feared  'twere  so,"  exclaimed  Master  Francis,  as 
the  colour  mounted  to  his  cheek,  and  he  hid  his  face  in  his 
hands,  for  very  shame.  The  which  seeing,  Gregory  Vellum 
regarded  only  with  a  sort  of  smile,  that  made  his  leaden 
physiognomy  not  a  whit  more  pleasant  than  ordinary,  and 
continued  the  counting  of  his  money. 

"  Was  he  one  Holdfast,  and  did  he  live  in  noted  bad  cha- 
racter?" asked  the  other,  suddenly,  as  if  with  a  kind  of 
desperation. 

"  Ay — very  like — very  like,"  replied  the  old  man.  '*  If  I 
remember  me,  his  name  was  Holdfast,  or  something  exceed- 
ing near  it ;  and  that  he  was  a  notorious  villain  is  out  of  all 
question." 

"  Then  I  know  the  worst,"  said  he,  calmly,  but  with  a 
great  paleness  of  face,  "  and  1  will  now  take  my  leave  of 
you." 

"  Stop  awhile !"  bawled  out  the  miser,  hastily  coming  up 
to  his  nephew,  as  he  was  approaching  the  door.  The  latter, 
on  this,  did  stay  his  steps. 

"  Hast  taken  nothing  whilst  I  was  in  the  swoon "?"  he 
asked,  gazing  on  the  other  with  a  monstrous  suspicious 
countenance. 

"  Nay,  this  is  too  bad,"  said  Master  Francis,  in  no  mood 
to  be  so  spoken  to,  and  moving  off. 

"  But  thou  shalt  not  go  till  I  have  searched  thee,"  sharply 
added  Gregory  Vellum,  as  he  laid  hold  on  him  to  make  him 
stay.  "  I  am  sure,  by  thy  wanting  to  be  gone  with  such 
speed,  that  thou  hast  stolen  something." 

"  Away  !  you  are  past  bearing !"  cried  the  youth,  as  he 
pushed  him  back,  and  w^alked  out  of  the  room. 

"  Francis !  Francis  !"  the  old  miser  bawled  out,  as  his 
nephew  closed  the  door  upon  him.  "  Prythee  leave  me  not 
alone  with  these  dead  men  !  I  will  not  search  thee,  I  do  not 
think  thou  hast  robbed  me  of  any  thing.  Nay,  go  not  away 
till  the  house  be  rid  of  these  corpses  !  Francis  !  Francis,  I 
say  !"  and  lie  came  down  the  stairs  after  him,  in  great 
alarm. 

The  unhappy  youth  by  this  time  was  into  the  street,  pacing 
along  with  a  most  woful  heart.  Indeed  he  had  much  to 
trouble  him.  He  knew  that  his  patron,  Sir  Walter  Raleigh, 
whom  he  had  begun  to  love  exceedingly,  was  a  prisoner  in 


AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  203 

the  Tower  ;  when  he  could  get  out,  no  man  could  say — all 
that  he  had  dreaded  to  learn  of  his  parentage  seemed  now 
put  beyond  the  possibility  of  question  ;  at  the  which  he  felt 
so  cast  down  as  scarce  to  know  what  he  was  a  doing;  and 
the  late  behaviour  of  his  miserly  kinsman,  though  nothing 
more  than  he  might  expect  of  his  disposition,  in  the  humour 
in  which  he  was,  did  irritate  him  all  the  more.  After  pass- 
ing along  a  little  way  in  extreme  despondency  of  mind,  he 
bethought  him  of  visiting  his  beloved  Joanna,  whose  recep- 
tion of  him,  he  doubted  not,  would  presently  relieve  him  of 
his  miserable  feelings ;  yet  when  he  came  to  think  of  the 
tone  of  her  letters  not  coming  up  to  his  expectations,  in  the 
peculiar  niood  in  which  he  then  was,  he  straight  began  to 
have  suspicions  that  she  regarded  him  less  than  he  would 
have  her ;  but  in  a  few  minutes  there  came  to  his  recollec- 
tion numberless  kindnesses  she  had  done  him,  which  to  him 
were  as  positive  proofs  of  the  sincerity  of  her  affection.  The 
remembrance  of  these  things  did  assure  him  somewhat,  and 
became  to  him  of  such  great  comfort,  that  for  the  time  it 
clean  drove  all  unpleasant  thoughts  out  of  his  head. 

At  this  moment  there  came  on  a  very  smart  shower  of 
rain,  and  he,  wishing  to  save  his  new  doublet  a  wetting, 
hastened  for  shelter  under  a  gateway  close  at  hand.  Pass- 
ing beneath  here,  he  spied  an  open  door  at  one  side,  for 
which  he  made,  but  presently  desisted  of  his  purpose  on 
hearing  voices  that  of  a  certainty  came  from  it.  He  was 
about  to  content  himself  with  the  shelter  of  the  gateway  as 
far  as  might  be  from  the  door,  when  he  recognised  the  voice 
of  Joanna,  that  did  at  once  fix  him  to  the  spot. 

"  Nay,  nay,  my  lord,"  said  she,  "  it  may  please  you  to 
affirm  this,  but  I  doubt  you  affect  me  so  much  as  you  say." 

"  O'  my  life,  adorable  Joanna !"  answered  one,  very  ur- 
gently, whom  Master  Francis  instantly  knew,  by  the  man- 
ner of  speaking,  to  be  my  Lord  Cobham,  whom  he  had  oflen 
heard.  "  I  swear  to  you  I  do  love  you  exceedingly.  In 
truth,  your  infinite  loveliness  is  of  such  a  sort,  that  never 
expect  I  to  find  aught  so  worthy  of  the  steadfast  and  most 
perfect  devotedness  with  which  I  do  regard  you." 

Speech  like  this,  it  may  be  believed,  Master  Francis  liked 
not  at  all. 

"  Methinks  you  are  but  trifiing  with  me,"  observed  the 
other. 

"  Nay — my  heart's  treasure  :  believe  me,  I  never  was  in 


204  SHAKSPEARE 

such  earnest !"  replied  her  companion.  "  Take  this  ring— 
'tis  a  ruby  of  great  price ;  yet  should  it  be  inestimable  to 
come  up  with  my  estimation  of  your  worthiness,  exquisitely 
beautiful  Joanna  !  Here — let  me  place  it  on  your  most  de- 
licate finger." 

At  this  Master  Francis  began  to  be  much  troubled  that 
she,  whom  he  so  loved,  should  accept  gifts  from  one  who, 
to  his  knowledge,  was  noted  for  his  gallantries. 

"  I  scarce  think  it  be  right  of  me  to  take  your  gift,  my 
Lord" — said  Joanna.  •'  Yet  to  refuse  it  might  seem  dis- 
courteous of  me — so  I  will  e'en  accept  of  it." 

"  And  grant  of  me  in  return  but  one  precious  favour," 
added  the  Lord  Cobham  in  an  entreating  voice,  that  did  much 
increase  the  disturbance  of  Master  Francis.  ♦'  It  be  but  to 
press  that  tempting  lip,  compared  with  which,  the  ruby  must 
seem  but  pale." 

"  Indeed,  that  I  can  never  do,''  replied  she. — "  Nay,  hold 
me  not  so  closely,  my  lord,  I  entreat  of  you." 

This  put  Master  Francis  in  a  perfect  tremble,  and  he  sud- 
denly felt  the  blood  a  rushing  to  his  cheek— yet  was  he  like 
one  chained  to  the  spot ;  for  though  he  felt  desperately  in- 
clined to  disturb  them,  he  was  so  affected  by  the  unexpected- 
ness of  what  he  had  heard,  that  he  had  not  the  power  of 
moving. 

"  Turn  not  away  that  exquisite  countenance,  admirable 
Joanna  !"  exclaimed  the  Lord  Cobham,  while  a  rustling  was 
heard  as  if  he  was  a  struggling  with  her,  which  did  increase 
Master  Francis'  disorder  mightily  :  "  and  strive  not  to  move 
from  arms  so  eager  to  hold  so  perfect  a  creature  in  their  fond 
embrace.     In  good  truth,  I  must  sweetest." 

"  Have  done,  my  lord,  I  pray  you  !  You  hurt  me,  indeed 
you  do.  Nay,  some  one  will  be  a  coming  !  How  you  tease ! 
Well,  if  you  will,  it  must  needs  be,"  was  all  that  Joanna  said 
in  reply ;  and  Master  Francis,  thinking  from  what  she  spoke, 
that  she  liked  not  my  Lord  Cobham's  advances,  with  one 
desperate  effort  was  about  to  break  in  upon  him,  when  he 
heard  the  consent  given,  and  immediately  followed  by  the 
close  smacking  of  lips,  which  moved  him  so  against  her,  that 
he  rushed  from  the  gateway  on  the  instant. 

END  OF  VOL.  I. 


> 


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UNIVERSITY  OF  ILLINOIS-URBANA 


3  0112  056543272 


